Wow, how totally uninteresting. Random quotes are generally pretty dumb man. I mean, you really need the backstory for something to be interesting. Well, okay, maybe not so much. I could talk about the legend of Pie Day and how everything went wrong, winding up in a total party wipe-out, and that'll spark someones interest, sure.

But if I just said, "I can see it! The land of Half-Elves and Pie!" I'd just seem like a retard. Kind of like you just went off doing.

Awkward.

We were making a deal with Satan. I was a player.

Me: I don't know if we can trust this guy. After all, he only just stopped trying to kill us.

Other Player: Dude, he just confessed to BEING the one that was trying to kill us. It's all cool.

Me: Cool? He was trying to kill us!

Other Player: Yeah, but at least he's honest.

Me: HE'S THE PRINCE OF LIES!!!

"At least he's honest!" "HE'S THE PRINCE OF LIES!" has been repeated ad infinatum in our games since.

We were fighting a palace guard (some kind of magically enhanced giant... I think it may have been made up for this occasion) because we needed to break in and stop the archmage from killing the king.


The giant guard had damage reduction 20/Chaotic, nobody had any chaotically aligned weapons or any chaotic spells prepared.

Luckily, we were with a hulking hurler and there were some kobolds backing up that guard.

TL;DR-Threw kobolds at giant. Hilarity ensues.

>>1358668
This is awesome. Somebody try to top it.

in my last campaign, I was looking for how to make explosives, for grenades, etc. apparently, the BBEG was disguised as the guy who ended up teaching me this. unfortunately, he taught me RIGHT. so, uh, later, when I used my grenade on him, the only thing that needed saying was "Have some irony, you son of a bitch" or something along those lines. it was a while ago.

>>1358728
>Threw kobolds at giant. Hilarity ensues.

Massive lulz.

>>1358668
>Satan
what

At the beginning of an Evernight Campaign I ran the obese elven mage shot 3 ice bolts at a single orc shaman. The first bolt annihilated the shaman in one hit. After that he was depressed to have used so much of his spellpoints and have them wasted. Thats when the player got a gleam in his eye and asked if he could hit the altar. Two more rolls later the player was named Altar's Bane, and it has become a running gag since.

>>1358756
Satan. The devil. Red guy, big horns, goat legs.

>>1358770
>obese elven mage
>obese elven
wow, thats different.

Playing in a WFRP campaign was as a roving Evil based band. A Skaven lead warp-guitarist, Chaos Dwarf on steam powered drums, a Black Orc on bass, Tomb Prince playing his ribs like a piano, Chaos Sorcerer using magic like a synthesiser and Dark Elf on vocals. Best part of the campaign was causing a dungeon to collapse on itself through mind-blowing reverberation, crushing the BBEG and his posse before he even had a chance to fight. We never found the magical maggufins, but such is life. Honourable mention goes to starting a riot at a the Bloodbowl Chaos Cup grand finals.

>>1358780

Penchant for musical theatre, pretty good with a fiddle.

>>1358794
He heard he hung around Georgia.

>>1358801

I heard some little fucker stole his golden fiddle down there.

>>1358806
Yeah, you hear what the fucker said?
"Devil just come on back if you ever want to try again. I told you once, you son of a bitch, I'm the best that's ever been."
What a fucking prick.

>>1358794

DnD is kind of his game

http://www.cybermoonstudios.com/8bitDandD.html

>>1358813
Guy's name was Johnny, IIRC.

To be fair though, the Devil did start it.

>>1358813
What the fuck is with wierd anime lesbian rear-boob-grab?

>>1358821
Hey, He was in a bind 'cos he was way behind: he was willin' to make a deal.
You know how it is in clerical work.
>>1358822
I have no idea what you mean, honest.

>>1358822

It's Rule 63'd Haruhi Suzumiya, an animu.

Itsuki needs to get his Y chromosome back, BTW.

>>1358846
I like her better this way, personally.

>>1358821

Yeah, but wasn't he making a gentlemans wager? He didn't start bad mouthing some stranger like a gloating fuck.

>>1358813

That snotty little cunt.

"I fight the child."

No one else will find this amusing, but Christ, it had me in stitches. Probably the fact this is couched as an ongoing action, as if there is going to be some sort of challenge the level sixteen berserker is going to find in the unfortunate waif that he came across.

>>1358846
I don't care what it is... just wanted to know why he was posting it so arbitrarily.

Can I just post anything I want with no rhyme or reason to it? 'Cuz I'm gonna start posting shit like this if I can. And there's nothing you can do to stop me. Nothing.

Yeah and the boy responded, "My name's Johnny and it might be a sin, But I'll take your bet, your gonna regret, 'cos I'm the best that's ever been."
What a douchebag.

>>1358853
Go ahead as long as your post is on topic and doesn't break any rules.

>>1358848
Point.

>>1358847
Got a bigger pic?

>>1358853
Thanks to you, I am imagining the Haruhi Suzumiya theme song being sung in the voice of Morgan Freeman.

And it is AWESOME. It IS somewhat disturbing, but still awesome.

>>1358858
Fuck yes.

For those of you who know the Jumpsteady song "Dungeon Master", when my party finally squared down with the BBEG he said "I have the initiative. It's time for the bloodbath."

>>1358867
Afraid not. Hope this one will do.
I was mainly posting these to get you to react anyway, so I'm going to bed now.

>>1358867
You're welcome. I've had these on my hard drive for a dog's age and by christ you're all going to see them.

>>1358855

Seriously. What the fuck is wrong with people down in Georgia? A little respect makes a huge difference.

>>1358853

Shit yeah, pointless.

C/N cleric throws a doctor, whom the rest of the party was interrogating out of the 4th story window
party: WTF?
cleric: I throw my bottle of wine out the window
party:....
cleric (in character): What? he was drunk. *wink wink, nudge nudge*

>>1358873
Well, I'm certainly... 'reacting' to 63'd Haruhi (though Yuki and Mikuru are all kinds of DO NOT WANT).

>>1358879
IMAGE DUMP COMBAT!
Animu faggotry vs Morgan Freeman!
HEAVEN OR HELL
LET'S ROh who am I kidding, Morgan Freeman is awesome.

I was DMing a game where the party was on a small, shitty island with a tiny city of survivors and were injured from battling monsters in the jungle, so they were looking for a healer. The only thing resembling a cleric was a medicine man who was selling herbs and poultices from under a lean-to...

Player: Do these cure HP?

Me: No, they speed up the rate of your healing when you sleep.

Player: That's gaytarded. I kick the old man.

Me: If you pointlessly assault the ONLY DOCTOR in this town, the rest of the residents will likely stone you in the streets.

Player: Well... then... I kick down his lean-to.

had one where we had to break into this rich guys house for some needed item
our team consisted of a half orc barbarian, elf sorcerer and human monk(me)
we(barbarian, monk, and sorcerer) got in through a second story bathroom window, the barbarian realizing that he makes a shot load of noise decides to hide in the bathroom while I go up stairs and recover the item, I grab it and take off running, sorcerer has to break invis, little girl goes into the bathroom, realises who is in there, leads a young guy with a sword in the bathroom who is sleepy, barbarian punches the guy out and jumps out window, the guy gets back to his feet and comes back down the hall to see the sorcerer who uses ghoul touch and paralyzes the guy and causes the girl to vomit all over of him
we barely made it out alive, long story short, but goddamn was it fun

is this in character or OOC quotes?

"Could anyone who isn't inside a bag of holding at the moment make a spot check"

A particuarly vulgar character (we rolled random character traits. This person got vulgar and effeminate. He developed a complex about his lack of manliness so resorted to accusing everyone else of being gay):
"Drop down that drawbridge faggots and I'll drop down my pants so you can suck on my balls!"
"Kenrick, you are way over there"
"All they hear is *whinewhinewhinewhine* balls"

"Who do I have in my inventory!?"

"This doesn't work and my boots smell"

"I thought the idea of being the cleric was to have the flamethrower and all that"

we also defined our group's play style as 'Pillagegrimage', as we just tend to walk in to town and somehow end up owning it or its economy. When moving on to a new town, we often say that we are continuing our pillagegrimage.

2nd Ed. DnD. I was an elvish rogue involved in a prank war with an elvish ranger. I had a sidequest of delivering a letter to a mage from across many towns. Little did I know the ranger made it there first and kind of told the mage there about how I tend to loot mage towers, so when I finally got to the top...

Me: *huff* *puff* Hello! I have a letter for you.

Mage: You do? Are you that thief?

Me: Wha-?

Mage: An elf just came by and told me to watch my things if an elf with a letter came by, that you like to steal magic items.

Me: Uh... I have no idea... um... look, just take the letter.

The DM rolls some dice and as I get the letter out of my secret inside vest pocket, I accidentally knock out my thieves tools that breaks the case and spills them all over the floor.

Mage: ... if you're not a thief what are those?

Me: Dentist's tools! I'm a dentist! Ha ha! Ha...

And then I leapt out the window.

I was GMing a DH game, and one of my players had an unbound daemonhost in them.

That player got shot at with an epic hit by another party member, and 6 manstoppers for a total of 61 AP 3 damage.

The daemon was unhappy, and choked a bitch.

There was an "OH SHIT" from every mouth in the party all in a collective 3 seconds. And it was an 8-man party ATT.

>>1358909

Anything memorable, quotes or moments, any game.

>>"All they hear is *whinewhinewhinewhine* balls"

One of the funnier things I've heard in a long while.

I was playing a priest in a supernatural-themed game that I THINK was by Palladium and decades old. Same game as the one with "HE'S THE PRINCE OF LIES!", actually. He was exploring the secret 30s-era mad scientist's laboratory some nights earlier and found a horse pistol and some ammunition.

Flash forward to us in the middle of hell confronting a demoness of ice and undead. We finally get to the top of her spire and she smirks at us and opens her mouth.

DM: "Welcome, fools. I hope you--"

Me: I pull out the horse pistol and shoot her in the head.

DM: Wha--?

Me: *rolls* I crit.

DM: ...

Me: *rolls more* ... max damage.

DM: Yeah, OK. She's dead. Shot her through the skull. Just, just forget the damn speech I spent hours thinking up.

I used to do a webcomic documenting my real-life "adventures". One such comic was actually ficticious but set up a character's personality. It went as thus...

Me: OK, guys. The orcs are furious at you and have you cornered with longswords drawn. What do you do?

Weeaboo Fightan LOLRANDOM Fag: I bend over and take out my butt.

Me: ... you moon the orcs.

WFLF: Yes.

Me: That won't help you in the least.

WFLF: I do it anyway. TO TAUNT THEM!

Me: ... the orcs cut off your head.

WFLF: Shouldn't you roll for that?

Me: Not having a head means you shut the fuck up.

So, yeah, ha-ha funny. Whatever. The REALLY hilarious thing is before I even showed this comic to my group that EXACT scenario went down except that the orcs were kobolds and I wasn't the DM.

Playing Dark Heresy my tech priest turned and entire complex(and possibly planet)'s automated turrets against the inhabitants and purged thousands and thousands of lives in a few moments. I committed genocide.
Later while trying to access a space station to see if I couldn't pull the party out of a really bad situation I was rolling my dice and I said
"come on..."
and the DM chimed in with.
"Papa needs a new pair of genocide?"

Playing a pen-and-paper version of Inquisitor before the proper books for doing that came out. We were escaping from some hideous giant Xenomorph creature in a ruined town, as we weren't Inquisitors or Space Marines or anything awesome. We lose the alien for a while and duck into a subway tunnel and lo and behold the subway train is fully intact and still working.

Me: AWESOME, guys! The train still works, we can escape back to the capital city from here! The Emperor giveth!

The alien then smashed through the ceiling, crushing the train and our hopes of escape.

Me: Awww... and the Emperor taketh away.

Mutants and Masterminds set in an anime con, during which the reel for a really rare and valuable show is stolen by Doctor Otaku. My character, a techy type with the ability to command his machines, detaches from the main battle between the team and Otakus robo-whores to go find Otaku himself. I find him in the LARP room, he powers up his battle armour to eight feet tall and its clear that rape is imminent. But I get initiative.

Me: *snaps fingers* Off!
DM: ... roll a power check.
Me: *rolls awesomely*
DM: .. get a hero point.

It turned out that the "bad guy" was in fact a robot doppleganger ala Doombots and I would have just switched him off as well as the armour. But from that session, "Gain a hero point" became a meme for "railroading in progress"

>>1358939

haha, The bastard shouldn't have monologued. Classic villian mistake

Another, previous Inquisitor game where I was actually playing an Inquisitor. This was MANY years ago, and my sense of awesome was... amateur at best. I was playing a character named Derek Zweihander, as I'd just seen Zoolander and thought the "One man, five syllables" line was supreme. Except for...

Player: So you're my partner in this mission, eh? What's your name?

Me: Derek Zweihander! One man... six syllables!

DM: It's five, dude. Five syllables.

Me: No it's not... six. I saw the movie, dude.

DM: No... no, "Der" "ek" "Zwei" "han" "der".

Me: ... dammit.

Trapped naked in a cell with the rest of my all male party, we noticed a small recess in the floor . . . .

"I CHOOSE to defacate!"

>>1358981
Heh, I can actually see Ben Stiller saying that. Awesome, Anon- I think.

>>1358992
JESUS CHRIST I ALMOST CHOKED ON THE PEN I WAS CHEWING ON YOU BASTARD

My ex wife is responsible for this one. You can see what led to our divorce...

Me: OK, great session guys. You get X amount of experience.

Player: Yeah! I went up a level.

Ex Wife: Aw, damn. I'm, like, 5 experience away. Can I go out in the forest and kill a bunny or something?

Me: ... no.

Ex Wife: Why!?

Me: You're a ranger. Protector of the forests?

Ex Wife: So!?

Me: *NERD RAGE*

>>1358992
then, after discovering a small hole in the wall above the hole in the ground that dispensed food:

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
*dives to stop the food from hitting the poops, and gets covered in poops*

I was DM'n a dungeon with a party of 5. The party finds a lab, and a wall of potions. I had set up 600 seperate effects (REALLY bored in class, set through a d6 then d100 roll table. One of the characters found this a little TOO interesting, and went from a LG Human Paladin to a CE barbarian halfling, who happened to be blue and had a staff grafted to his left arm.
We called him 'Bitchy Smurf'.

Barbarian character who was fighting some orcs got angry about having his great axe stolen.

finds the guy who took the axe and rages.
"GREEN MEANS GO!!! RED MEANS STOP!!!"
Then crits, and keeps going.

OK, last one as I've been scraping for stories and I'm out of pics after this. Less funny, more awesome here...

I was playing a rogue/assassin with no morals. He had befriended and courted an elvish warrior princess that he didn't know was a princess. She takes him back to her glorious elven home city, the seat of elven power in the country, and introduces him to her family; the matriarch of the city was her mother, her father a henpecked and retired adventurer, her sister was a brave and fierce former legionairre, and her younger sister with a fondness for sharp implements.

So, I get a wild hair up my ass and use the phat loot from our last adventure to pay a sorceror to grow me a clone, as per the spell "Clone". I stay in the elven city and get in good with every member of the family while the spell takes its time to work. When time's up I have already proposed to the girl and we're set to marry on the morrow. My plan goes into action.

I take the clone and tell him to act as though he loves this elvish woman with all his heart and soul and I'll make it worth his while. The marriage goes through without me getting hitched (instead my poor clone) and on the night of our honeymoon I show up at the family's sleepy palatial estate.

I seduce the mother, taking her by the fire and start stripping her for nekkid-fun-times, then slit her throat and throw her corpse in the fireplace. I pick the lock on the chest in her room that contains the dad's old adventuring gear, rush downstairs where he's trancing in a chair and thrust it at him. "Go back to adventuring, you know you want to. Don't ask any questions; you'll regret the answers." He accepts due to my excellent persuade roll and heads out the door. I wait an hour and find the older sister, tell her her mother has been killed and her father's taken off to find the murderer, but he's old and can't do it alone; she should hurry and aid him. Being kind of dumb and loving her family, she asks no questions and does just that. At last, I scoop up the youngest child and taker her with me as I make my escape, being as she's taken a shine to me.

Flash forward years later. My clone and his wife are ruling the elven city in peace. No one ever found the family members, other than mom's corpse. The girl, who grew up kind of goth, has become a powerful necromancer.

I return in the dead of night with the party members that agreed to do this deed... we go from house to house and slit the throats of everyone inside. Up against your average commoner, an assassin, a sorceror, and a blackguard are more than enough match for them. We end up dispatching the ENTIRE town. As co-ruler of this country I rally the guards and tell them of the serial murders taking place and tell them to gather in the square where I'll instruct them further. The sorcer kills the guards with a series of maximized fireballs before they can do any real damage to anybody. The final coup de grace is stealing into the palace bedchamber and confronting my clone and his wife in the throes of passion. She gets confused, he seems a little wary, and I just kill them both.

I give the town over to the necromancer sister, who doesn't remember it as her birthplace or where her family used to live and systematically over time raises EVERY CORPSE as the living dead.

... and that's how you almost single-handedly turn the elven capital to a necropolis.

Okay... Earlier today this happened;

DM: "You walk into the room. Covering the walls and the floor are more thick web-strands like the ones that were covering the door. What do you do?"

Me(OOC): (I do what every henchman and villain forgets to do;) *look up*

DM: "You see four Volkswagen-sized spiders on the ceiling, tending to a large egg-sack."

Me: 'Hurry guys!'

DM: "And that draws attention to you and the rest of the party, making the spiders drop to the floor to surround your party. One of the spiders pulls out a crossbow and draws a bead on you." *points to the Mexican PC*

PC(OOC): (Spiders can't use crossbows!)

DM(OOC): (Sure they can; it's a gang shootout...)

Me(OOC): (I call shenanigans... This is neither cute nor funny, it is tragic and wrong...)

PC2(OOC): (Thus making it not really shenanigans at all...)

DM(OOC): (I swear to God I'll pistol-whip the next person that says 'shenanigans'...)

PC3(playing a spider): "Hey boss, what's that place you like with all the goofy-shit all over the walls and the mozzarella-sticks?"

PC4(playing boss-spider): "Shenanigans? Are you talking about Shenanigans?"

DM: "A rock falls and squishes the spider with the crossbow... Miraculously it misses all of you..."

I once stopped a horde of advancing supervillains with delicious hostess snack cakes.

>>1359041
>>1359055
>>1359056

If this is all true, then you, sir win an Internet. In fact, if all of your little stories thus far are true, then you just win. Period.

>>1359088
Every word of it. I think I probably paraphrased some of the things that were said, as socially awkward nerds at 4 in the morning are less witty than that, but the content was all true.

The bit with the necropolis was mostly because my DM was lenient and thought it was hilarious, but it was fun nonetheless. We later went back to that necropolis to kill a giant zombie the necromancer was building to destroy the continent.

>>1359096
Me again, replying to myself. I lied, I'm not out of stories. One more.

We finally encounter the BBEG of a dungeon. Playing the last wizard I've ever played (for the reasons listed below) I felt stupid in battle for having memorized retarded utilitarian non-combat spells. The BBEG comes out on this balcony high above his throne room, delivers his speech and leaps down from the balcony.

The second he gets in range I cast featherfall on him. We fired arrows and threw shit mercilessly at him until he died, just after finally landing.

*takes a bow*

>>1359096
>>1359058

Wow.

>>1359122
That's what he gets for being a melodramatic theatrical bastard.

>>1359122
You bastard.

>>1359122
I lol'ed so hard.

>>1359122 I felt stupid in battle for having memorized retarded utilitarian non-combat spells.

Your group is a pack of cunts. My DM fucking destroys people who only memorize combat spells. He gets this wicked grin, and says things like "Pit trap! Sure would be a nice time to have fly memorized, huh?"

Not as awesome as the ones posted above but I found It funny at the moment.

Our brave part consists of a barbarian like warrior, A knight, a thief, a acrobat/jester and lastly our meekly healer. The barbarian were cursed just moments before this instance with a curse that basically mess up any healing attempts on him

Upon encountering a group orchs the Barbarian boldly yells;

"BRING ON THE PAIN!"

Before charging towards them.

Unfortunate for him the only orch armed with a ranged weapon takes it to heart and fires at him. 3 dicerolls later we exclaim that he was just hit I the ball with a rugged barbed bolt. His brave barbarian keels over with not so bold whimper and when the healer forgets that he is cursed or barbarian player exclaim

"Oh good! Take the pain away! TAKE IT AWAY" before passing out

This deserves an archive, some of these stories are win beyond compare.

Well, I finally got to roll my drunken master. Lawful Neutral; basically, he believes that the finest art is that of the bar fight, but that killing and stealing's wrong. Fighting for fun, not for serious injury.

So we get to this guy's house, where we have to find this magical cloak. And the rogue says, "Okay, guys. Let's sneak in." Naturally, my Drunken Master says, "You kin go n'have fun wiffat. Imma gonna sit onna porch an' wait."

Rogue sighs, jumps in the window. Drunk sits on the porch.

So then, the rogue botches a move silently roll right as he's walking up the creaky stairs. However, I roll listen and hear the creak.

So my Drunken Master begins to sing. I have points in Perform(Sing). I do not roll. He is being horrific. Off-key, off-tempo, doesn't remember the lyrics. And so the owner of the shop/person who lives there come out on the balcony and start screeching at my Drunken Master...ignoring the rogue while he steals the cloak.

Priceless.

>>1359368

See this shit makes me want to play dnd

>>1359418
Can be done with other -better- systems, funstick.
Did something similar with WFRP, except we kinda diverted a carnival right through this bloke's house, pilfering McGuffin while we danced poorly amongst much lootin.

>>1359368
>>1359428
This gives me ideas for future reference!

As mercenaries trying to get a job with a dodgey sounding king character to suppress some peasant uprising,

"Well, we can go in and burn down a village with the best of 'em."

Probably the best quote I've ever heard one of my players let out was in a WFRP campaign taking place in Araby where Jo3hn, taking the role of a religious assassin murdering a Brettonian offical in his home, let this one slip.

Walking up behind the Brettonian diplomat, he stabs him in the spine while covering the victims mouth with his hand. As the Brettonian died, he tried to turn and get a glimpse of his killer.

Jo3hn: "Don't look at me. Don't make mine the last face you see, lest the Gods hold it against you."

So in a sea campaign we have been making extensive use of the Artifice of Kwalish. Or as we liked to call it, the Lobstertron 5000.

So my half orc fighter/barb and a human monk are crammed into the lobstertron, which is presently carrying a large drawstring triggered underwater explosive (that my character built) in its lobster claws. Our little lobstertron is putputting slowly towards the gaping maw of a 200 foot long fast approaching mega shark.

There is a sudden moment of darkness as we dissappear inside the mouth. At which point my half orc says. "Smile you son of a bitch" and uses the lobstertron to pull the drawstring on the charge.

What is seen by all the spectators topside on our ship was a massive flash of light underwater, a massive column of gore and water blasting upwards, and the tattered blasted open remnants of the lobstertron arcing over the ship a hundred feet through the air with its 2 still living occupants screaming as they held on for dear life.

>>1358728
I dun lawl at much, less when im alone, but i actually cried a bit, this is so awesome

>>1359489
i'm guessing accidental repost.. also MOAR STORIES even though i don't actually play this shit is hilarious.

>>1359489

Thanks for pointing that out. My computer is shitting it's CPU over me right now, shit is going ape.

>>1358939

Oh man, total The Gamers-moment.

>>1359506
You're welcome. Do you play a lot of WFRP? I'd give it a shot, but for the reason that prevents me from playing every other RPG: I'm Billy No-mates ;_;

My very first Duskling Totemist was obsessed with shiney things (6 int).... we dubbed his alignment Chaotic stupid (an alignment i've since been barred from playing for "being too good at it")
During out first dungeon crawl, i latched onto a massive 10 ft. spear.... I couldn't weild it, but I just liked toting it around and waving it at people... anyways, at some point we were riding an elephant into snowy mountainside combat, and through what must have been a series of about 5 consecutive nat20 handle animal checks, our ranger convinced the elephant to toss me and my spearlike a lawn dart at a fleeing kobold

>>1359519

Any given week the group and I will probably play around 3 or 4 sessions of WFRP. It's our primary game, before all others. That followed by CoC and BESM.

>>1359524
Aw fuck. I can play CoC with my girlfriend, but she generally views skubhammer etc. etc. etc. with a degree of scorn (so, apparently guns/swords are phallic images? This girl is obsessed with the cock)

ok got two
gm"an old man asks for help"
matt "i go dwarven defender..."

and

"thats cause weve been stuck in the GOD DAMNED catacombs for the last three days!"

>>1359541

WFRP isn't about guns and swords. It's about being up to your ankle in shit and trying not to catch dysentary on a daily basis.

>>1359590
...just like real life?

"Oh, you want to assassinate me? Let me pull out my schedule. Hmmm, the next open position is three years from now."

>>1359609

Mostly, but a lil' more grim and dark. If you AREN'T up to your ankles in shit then you better duck, because another load is past due.

I've taken to smothering my arrow heads in horseshit before any major engagement. I may not kill the fuckers I hit, but I am guarenteed to give them fucking sepsis.

>>1359658
Crécy up in this shit.

>>1359676

>30,000 killed, including:
2 kings
1 duke
10 counts
3 archbishops

Thanks. I just educated myself a lil' more.

>>1359710

Too late! Let the Anymouse hate fester and spread across all /tg/. Let them say this was his final hour!

>>1359691
I was actually thinking more of the comic.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=oHg5SJYRHA0

perhaps the most epic moment, even if staged.

>>1359720

Yeah, no.

>>1358753
who wants some of raffy?
raffy 4tw!
go chris go chris its your birthday put on your suit! chris oh yea your body makes me so tense, i neeeeed sweet and sour sauce....(everyf***ing where oh baby!)

>>1358502
who wants some of raffy?
raffy 4tw!
go chris go chris its your birthday put on your suit! chris oh yea your body makes me so tense, i neeeeed sweet and sour sauce....(everyf***ing where oh baby!)

Once in a game of D&D, we'd fought through the hordes, the dungeon and the tower, and finally reached the BBEG. He was in some sort of magic purple velvet robe and mask. And no matter what we did, we couldn't injure him, the DM insisted the magic wasn't that strong, but we didn't exactly have a lot of magical gear (stingy DM is stingy). The only unarmored parts of the guy were the eye-holes of his mask. My character was a swashbuckler, so I'd tried a called shot to ram a stiletto through, failed, blasted back to the edge of the room. We were all in imminent danger of dying (no one had more the 5hp left) so I just went, "Screw it! I throw my rapier at this eye."

Natural 20.

The cleric's player, who'd been against me playing a swashbuckler, comments, "I told you you'd put someone's eye out with that thing."

Incidentally, the BBEG's fashion statement also led to the group forever referring to BBEGs as Violent Violet Velvet Guys.

>>1359737

Two awesome things I've learned in one day. Now I have to hunt down the comic. Also - Harold didn't die from an arrow in the eye. Interesting tidbit.