Some of you may be familiar with the Buxomise Pill. This item, from Princess Maker 2, does nothing other than increase the bust size of the adopted daughter you are raising. It's expensive, is sold only a few times, and if you do buy it, you have to pass up buying some of the best items in the game. Being a little off in the head, or simply very primalistic, I always ended up purchasing it.

Now, there are other games that have similar items or even quests, that do nothing other than increase a character's bust size. Why are they there? I sought to understand this, and my own strange attraction to the item, and so I decided to simply to toss the item on the list.

The players were having fun with the adventure, especially with three of the items that they had picked up early. Then, they defeated a spellcaster, and along with two other items from the list, I placed the Buxomise Pill, thinking that the players would simply think it was funny.

All hell broke loose when the wizard identified it.

I think, however, I may have skipped a step in this story. You see, all the players, as well as the characters, are male. However, they all have intricate back stories (most of which I could not make myself finish reading) as well as a heavy load of in-campaign NPC interaction and story crafting. To my understanding, each of the players either had a significant other, lover, daughter, or in the case of the wizard (who I found out had practically sneaked this little bit of info into the very bottom of his backstory), a human-shaped advanced homunculus.

The wizard at first tried to keep the knowledge of what the pill does a secret, but the other players wouldn't let him. In a very aggressive few minutes, they managed to get him to say what the pill did in-game, and that's when the strangest conversation/argument I had ever heard in my entire life began.

Each of them at first began to explain why they deserved the pill, who they would use it on, why the person they would use it on deserved it, and on and on, bickering back and forth. One of them (the monk) then suggested that they bid on the item with the rest of their inventories. This only made things worse, as they began to squabble over everyone's individual assets.

As time went on, I tried to restore order, but at the same time I was curious as to why they were so impassioned by this item. After the first hour, I even toyed with the thought of simply saying that they would just all receive a pill, but I let them continue, all the while listening carefully and keeping track of the time.

About two and a half hours in, and not one of them had backed down yet (two would do so every so often, but be reminded of something and then leap back into the argument), I was about to simply write the whole thing off as Nystul's Magic Aura and take whatever hatred the players would give me. But just then, the wizard, with the grace and tact of crazed berserker, announced he was casting a fireball on everybody.

Before I could say anything about all of this having been taken too far, the other players were already rolling their reflex saves followed by rolling initiative. Knowing this had gotten to the point far past simply being silly, I asked whether or not everyone was serious about this whole battle, over a pill that could probably be purchased for less than a +1 sword.

As they unanimously agreed to finish what they had started, I simply placed a check mark on my list next to a particular line. After a second of thought, I placed a second check mark.

You are an evil bastard...

Oh my god, that was epic. Best story I've read all day. I will definitely be doing this some day.

This needs to be archived for future lulz.

I salute you, DM anon.

See picture

HUST AS PLANNED!

>>1490447 BUST AS PLANNED!
Fixed

I'm obviously missing something. Was the point to drive the players insane?

>>1490450
If you read the intro, then you would have realised that it was a psychological experiment the GM orchestrated to reflect on his own obsession with the item in the game Princess Maker 2.

I truly lol'd. Now here is where at the end of the campaign you reveal that twas not a Pill of Buxomise, but a cursed pill of Delusion.

>>1490450

JUST AS PLANNED!

Also, Two checks.

First was to fuck the players over...

The second?

This is made of awesome and neckbeard.

So who got the pill in the end? And on whom did they use it on?

But only after they gave it to the woman of their choice did the OP inform them of the pills slow, lethal effects...


MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!

I would so lol if one of them decided to be an ass and take the pill themselves.

>>1490552

POPPAN' TITTAYS?

>You see, all the players, as well as the characters, are male.

... because if there had been a sorceress in the party, she wouldn't have waited two hours to fireball you.

(Another girl and I got into a ridiculous catfight over a treasure horde once... I'm not even sure what it was we were fighting over, a broom of flying maybe? I think the rest of the party threatened to BREAK it if we didn't shut up.)

So, did you manage a total party kill, Head of Vecna style?

That item is silly and you should feel silly.

I have to try this.

post the whole list

>>1491425
yesplz.

/r/ whole list

can anon deliver?

Dagger of Dimension Door
Rod of Magnetism
Twin strike jewel
Foe Hunter ink
Seeker caltrops
Memory crystal
Robe of chances
Drowned Man Stout
Adamantine Axe of Sundering
Vestment of Many Styles
Flying Lantern
Possum Pouch
Earring of the Wolf
Buxomize Pill
Oathbeer
Mask of the Ancient
Staff of Somaria
Animate Wheelbarrow
Ebony Fly
Boots of Reverse Gravity

I'm intrigued by this story, and the item. But I failed to grasp one part...What happened in the end? And why was it that your players had such a quarrel for the item?

>>1493353
Mind naming the sources for some of those other ones?

So the players wanted it for their fictional wimminz? That's creepy, in a way.

>>1493391
The staff of Somaria is from LoZ: A link to the past, and allows Link to make large blocks, as well as to explode these blocks.

Foe Hunter Ink come from Aborigine folklore, and is used to gain combat bonuses against a specific type of creature.

Mask of the Ancient comes from an old Greek tale, and revolves around an old man that's always at the strangest of places.

Animate Wheelbarrow is pretty much an animate wheelbarrow.

>>1493397
At least it's better than wanting it for themselves.

Do you have the effects of some of these?

>>1493404
Well, yeah. But still, why would a pill that increases bust size be deemed so valuable in a group of male adventurers?

Fireball vaporises the pill, everyone inhales the vapor.

MAN TITS

>>1493419
I'm gonna have to call shenanigans on the OP's part.

>>1493353 Foe Hunter ink
EVEN IN YOUR D&D, F.O.E.

>>1493458
Saitama, Saitama, F.O.E.

>>1493458
Godammit, why oh why did I lol?

>>1493464
F.O.E. ANIKI!

>>1493464
Douman, seiman! F.O.E.

F.O.E.

>>1493471

Gossun Gossun F O E!

>>1493415
Most are in the item compendium, or simply self explanatory.

>>1493425
Trust me, I'm the last person who thought this would happen.

>>1493475
Erin, Erin! F.O.E.

>>1493482

Always Multiplying, F.O.E.!

ANIKI TO WATASHI BODYBUILD!

Did someone say F.O.E.?

>>1493495
I don't think I like where this is headed (see: gay)

>>1493498

Cause I think I heard somebody say F O E

F O E

F O E

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WM5MMqNgUzM

Goddamn. I hate PnP rpgs players. Worst fanbase evar amirite?

You are already F O E

>>1493494 Always Multiplying, tribbles!
Fix'd. Now, what in blazes is this 'foe' nonsense? A foe, as I understand it, is simply an enemy, an opponent. Why has this driven you all nuts?

>>1493553
Coming for you in your sleep! F.O.E.

OP, finish the story. I demand MOAR.

Also /r/ the longer list you did

>>1493553
Formido Oppugnatura Exsequens

From the DS game, Etrian Odyssey. They're boss monsters that will rape you up the ass if you're not prepared for them. Made famous by a flash animation seen here >>1493507

So who got it?

http://www.atlus.com/etrian2/

EO2 is coming. With new FOEs.

Prepare your Anus.

PROMOTIONS F O E

>>1493564 From the DS game
Ah, so I may safely ignore.

Um, I fail to see how anything like OP's story could have happened in real life uless he and his players are a bunch of basement dwelling delusional weirdos.
Oh.

/r/ moar list

>>1493593
WOT? BIG SHOCK!

This thread went from awesome to even more awesome

>>1493604
'Sup Guu.

OP, you are a sick frakking genius.

I salute you
Also, I'm taking that list.

>>1493458

Thanks to you, my RPG vocabulary has just +1'ed. F.O.E.

Who got the pill?!?!?

I'm fucking doing this when I DM my next campaign

we need to combine this with Noh to create the Ultimate 4chan dungeon reward