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  • File :1231916059.jpg-(135 KB, 500x375, eddiehead.jpg)
    135 KB Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)01:54 No.3399003  
    www.chaoticshiny.com
    Roleplaying world random generators. Picture makes about as much sense as most of the results.

    Law: The penalty for an official abusing a hunting bird is a small fine.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)01:56 No.3399016
    Pic more interesting than topic.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 01/14/09(Wed)01:57 No.3399020
    My nation-state uses hunting birds as biological weapons
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)01:58 No.3399023
    The penalty for a soldier plotting against a criminal is a loss of social status.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)02:00 No.3399038
    Ecology
    Main Climate: temperate - plains
    Ocean: on two sides
    Mountains: a few
    Frequent Trouble: windstorms

    Wilderness: 78%
    Wild Animals: dangerous
    Natural Resources: good amount Culture
    Highly Values: creativity
    Known For: exotic plantlife
    Popular Entertainment: politics
    Respected Profession: artisan

    Discrimination: attractiveness-based
    Major Taboo: death
    Major Social Ill: alcoholism Military
    Strength: average
    Focus: air
    Main Unit: mages/wizards

    Soldiers: volunteers
    Main Use: conquest
    Rank: elected by subordinates
    Magic
    Occurence: very common
    Source: granted by gods
    Major Use: weather control

    Viewed: as normal
    Enchanted Items: fairly common Religion
    Type: polytheism
    Focus: repentance
    Worship: solemn daily prayers in private

    Associated Artform: songs
    Prevalence: believed by most
    Holidays: very few Population
    Urban: 10%
    Rural: 90%
    Literacy Rate: 17%

    Gender Ratio: 1.56 male(s)/female
    Fertility Rate: 2.4 children/family
    Life Expectancy: 45.9 years
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)02:00 No.3399039
    And lo, I looked upon I-35, and there did I see the Giant Wheeled Head of Eddie Murphy speeding towards the Dallas Metroplex with much abandon. An angel blew upon a silver horn from up on high, and I knew the hour of Man's doom was night.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)02:00 No.3399041
    The penalty for a nobleman endangering a slave girl is life imprisonment.

    Surprisingly progressive law is surprisingly progressive.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)02:00 No.3399044
    >The penalty for an elder slandering a free man is a few months' imprisonment.

    Well, That's a way to deal with racist old people.

    >The penalty for molesting a merchant is a considerable fine.

    This could be easily abused. "She was undressen' me wit her eyes she wuz"

    >The penalty for evading taxes is whipping.

    Realism!
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)02:01 No.3399048
    >>3399039
    >was night
    OOO SO CLOSE
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)02:02 No.3399051
    The penalty for smuggling spices is death.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)02:03 No.3399056
    >>3399039
    >>3399048
    >nigh

    fuck
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)02:03 No.3399059
    If you want lolrandom laws, just look up Singapore.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)02:03 No.3399060
    Random 4e generator gave me a lesbian Dragonborn.


    Dragonborn Fighter Weapon: Pick
    One of her at-will exploits is Tide of Iron.
    Str: 18 Con: 15 Dex: 14 Int: 13 Wis: 14 Cha: 14
    Fort: 16 Ref: 12 Will: 12 AC: 12 Armor: cloth
    Annoyed by: wild animals of any sort
    Sucker For: members of the same sex
    Favourite Sin: Sloth Favourite Virtue: Kindness Trusts in: Freedom
    She is slightly claustrophobic. Her favourite color is pale green.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 01/14/09(Wed)02:03 No.3399062
    >>3399051

    SPICE MUST FLOW
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)02:05 No.3399070
    Holy shit good rolls are good
    Dragonborn Rogue Tactic: Brutal Scoundrel
    One of her at-will exploits is Piercing Strike.
    Str: 18 Con: 14 Dex: 18 Int: 18 Wis: 14 Cha: 14
    Fort: 14 Ref: 16 Will: 12 AC: 16 Armor: leather
    Annoyed by: complete honesty
    Sucker For: obscure lore
    Favourite Sin: Vanity Favourite Virtue: Temperance Trusts in: Life
    She is afraid of water. Her lucky number is 39.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)02:06 No.3399077
    I got 420chan

    Name: Draylicah
    Gender: female
    Race: human, some elf blood

    Motivation: malice
    Class: mercenary
    Current Mood: ill

    Attractiveness: 10
    on a scale of 1-10
    Eyes: blue
    Hair: blue [dyed]
    Height: slightly tall
    Other: unusual tattoos

    Competence: 2
    on a scale of 1-10

    Main Weapon: spear

    Favourite Sin: Lust
    Believes In: Gods
    Element: Fire

    Sucker for: members of the same sex
    Annoyed by: foolish bravery
    Hobby: experiments with chemicals
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)02:07 No.3399084
    >>3399051
    Is that a handful of peppercorns in your pocket or are you just looking for 25 to life?
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)02:07 No.3399085
    The penalty for molesting a soldier is a small fine.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)02:07 No.3399088
    The penalty for a member of a higher class gambling is life imprisonment.
    > wat
    The penalty for striking a slave is a brief imprisonment.
    > ABUSE
    The penalty for a noblewoman evading taxes on textiles is life imprisonment.
    > BITCH PAY UP
    The penalty for evading taxes on corpses is the stocks.
    >Corpse tax?
    The penalty for maiming a cow is public humiliation.
    >PETA...
    The penalty for abusing a mule is a few months' imprisonment.
    >FUCKING PETA
    The penalty for a tradesman stealing spices is a small fine.
    >Normal
    The penalty for a member of the royalty wounding a cleric is branding.
    >RESPEK THE CHURCH
    The penalty for a foreigner killing a horse is life imprisonment.
    >WAT.
    The penalty for spying is a small fine.
    >NO, MY SECRETS, GIVE ME SODA MONEY
    The penalty for insulting a guard is whipping.
    >Hey just like IRL
    The penalty for stealing coins is public humiliation.
    >what
    The penalty for a member of a lower class attacking a guard is a moderate fine.
    >Pay your slap fees in advance
    The penalty for a tradesman stealing animal parts is a flogging.
    >damn
    The penalty for a tradesman slandering a merchant is a long imprisonment.
    >wat
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)02:10 No.3399106
    Good ideas generator is more entertaining.

    >>Stop the dark ritual by making a deal with the devil.

    lolwut?
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)02:13 No.3399130
    Warforged Warlord Commanding Presence: Inspiring
    One of her at-will exploits is Wolf Pack Tactics.
    Str: 17 Con: 10 Dex: 14 Int: 9 Wis: 13 Cha: 9
    Fort: 14 Ref: 12 Will: 12 AC: 18 Armor: chainmail
    Annoyed by: humans
    Sucker For: flattery
    Favourite Sin: Wrath Favourite Virtue: Diligence Trusts in: Kord
    She plays an instrument. Her birthday is in the sixth month of the year.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)02:14 No.3399133
         File :1231917240.png-(152 KB, 400x226, wolframandhart.png)
    152 KB
    >>3399106
    At least devils will honor the bargain, thoug hthey have a nasty way of working in obscure clauses and double talk.

    Pic related.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)02:14 No.3399134
    >>3399088

    PETA? You want PETA?

    The penalty for endangering a mule is execution.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)02:14 No.3399137
    The penalty for destroying gems is death.

    Oh hey, Dwarven laws.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)02:17 No.3399144
         File :1231917423.jpg-(26 KB, 426x356, the law.jpg)
    26 KB
    The penalty for wounding a criminal is a warning.
    >> parabolic:theEND !!HfL9M9xslOG 01/14/09(Wed)02:18 No.3399153
    >>3399133
    I remember a thread on the Wizards boards about a future of the planes where they evolved technologically along with the prime material.
    Baator was described as "Wolfram and Hart's main offices."
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)02:20 No.3399166
    4 gold ad = 8 silver ad | 5 silver ad = 9 silver lib | 4 silver lib = 6 copper fradea

    Oh god, that site has everything.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)02:21 No.3399175
    Law: The penalty for a slave comitting blasphemy is a considerable term of servitude.

    ...somehow, I don't think that'll make them stop.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)02:23 No.3399202
    >>3399106
    >Avert the catastrophe by balancing on a rolling barrel and drinking heavily.

    A truly dwarven solution!
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)02:24 No.3399204
    The penalty for gambling is life imprisonment.
    >Craps is the ultimate in sin.
    The penalty for robbing a warrior is public humiliation.
    >Probably by a good dicking.
    The penalty for a priest insulting a merchant is a few years' imprisonment.
    >BLACK IS WHITE UP IS DOWN
    The penalty for a noble maiming an ox is a considerable fine.
    >Like they couldn't afford it.
    The penalty for a noblewoman killing a slave is the stocks.
    >WTF? Ox are worth more than slaves?
    The penalty for attacking a member of a higher class is the loss of a limb.
    >"But I didn't KNOW he was a Caravan Head! I thought he was a Caravan DRIVER!"
    The penalty for being drunk in public is a considerable fine.
    >That'll teach'em.Take their booze money!
    The penalty for stealing armor is execution.
    >PLATE FOR LIFE
    The penalty for a foreigner stealing corpses is a brief imprisonment.
    >Well, as long as it isn't shitty hide armor and just Grandma...
    The penalty for a courtesan evading taxes on spices is a brief imprisonment.
    >Better than execution.
    The penalty for a free woman committing blasphemy is public humiliation.

    The penalty for a nonhuman possessing certain wine is a considerable fine.
    >NO CHAMPAGNE FOR ELVES.
    The penalty for breaking an oath is a considerable fine.
    >Honesty is the best economic policy.
    The penalty for illegaly trafficking textiles is a long imprisonment.

    The penalty for an apprentice stealing coins is a warning.
    >But what if he's a theif's apprentice?
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)02:25 No.3399214
    Name: James Edwards
    Age: late 20s
    Profession: guidance counselor

    Height: average
    Body Type: frail
    Features: planed
    Eyes: dark blue
    Hair: very long, straight, dark brown

    Annoyed by: cute and fuzzy things
    Sucker For: the status quo

    Favourite Sin: sloth
    Favourite Virtue: humility

    Household: three dogs

    Favourite drink: brandy
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)02:26 No.3399218
    http://www.chaoticshiny.com/weird_alchgen.php

    what is this I don't even
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)02:27 No.3399223
    Here's something fun.
    Chief Deities:

    Floaskimum, the God of the Moon, Darkness and Pity, is eerily beautiful, with tanned skin, waist length, curly black hair, and eyes the color of storm clouds. He is short and slightly plump, and often looks sly. He usually wears light armor dyed light grey.
    He is also associated with the sun. He is often worshipped by the poor. His few followers can be primarily distinguished by the holidays they observe. There are a large number of carvings of him in most cities. There are many myths involving his ongoing arguements with Taenah. He is the brother of Tran. He is known to pose riddles to mortal magic-users.

    Moshines, the Goddess of Famine, Fish and the Desert, is almost plain-looking, with ivory skin, short, flowing dark golden hair, and eyes the color of green leaves. She is tall and somewhat muscular, and often looks sly. She usually wears scant clothing, dyed grey.
    She is also associated with secrets, dreams and youth. She is often worshipped by youths. Her few followers can be primarily distinguished by the magic they wield. There are many carvings of her at the edge of forests. There are many myths involving her competetive relationship with Aeraeifas. She is the sister of Aeraeifas. She is known to send dreams to virtuous mortals.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)02:27 No.3399231
    >>3399106
    >Repel the invaders by blowing things up with the help of a prostitute with a heart of gold.

    "Ok, I know everybody's thinking it so I'll say it: We put all the TNT into the whoor and then when they come to fuck her, KABLOOM!"
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)02:27 No.3399232
    >>3399223
    >God of the Moon
    >[...]associated with the sun.
    Wut?
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)02:28 No.3399236
    Conspiracy generator is awesome.

    >Teachers are conspiring with Bill Nye to keep a brotha down and do bad things.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)02:29 No.3399242
    >>3399236
    Oh god my luings laughing too hard
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)02:29 No.3399247
    Human Paladin Deity: Moradin
    One of her at-will prayers is Bolstering Strike.
    Str: 16 Con: 12 Dex: 9 Int: 14 Wis: 18 Cha: 18
    Fort: 15 Ref: 14 Will: 16 AC: 15 Armor: chainmail
    >Annoyed by: any sort of nobility
    >Sucker For: the status quo
    Favourite Sin: Avarice Favourite Virtue: Temperance Trusts in: Courage
    She is an only child. Her favourite color is green.

    wat
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)02:32 No.3399264
    >>3399232

    Eh, it's not like Moon and Sun are total different.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)02:36 No.3399289
         File :1231918561.png-(214 KB, 320x373, bill nye.png)
    214 KB
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)02:36 No.3399295
    >Funniest-Lookin' d12: 13
    wat
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)02:37 No.3399307
    >The penalty for a merchant molesting a noblewoman is a flogging.

    Totally worth it.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)02:38 No.3399314
    >>3399247
    She DOES like avarice...
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)02:39 No.3399327
    >>3399153
    Dude, didn't you learn anything Home Office is on Earth.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)02:44 No.3399354
    >>3399218
    Coolant + iPod + Chanting = Denim
    >> parabolic:theEND !!HfL9M9xslOG 01/14/09(Wed)02:45 No.3399359
    >>3399327
    I was pretty drunk at the time.
    But now it's owned by...
    Actually, well...it's in Hell, and Angel isn't a vamp, and holy fuck Gunn is evil.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)02:46 No.3399371
    >>3399359
    He's a soulless vampire. Also, I haven't read past the fourth or fifth comic.

    Also:
    Qeich-Jao Spirit
    An aggressive style based on inner harmony and emphasizing throws and low kicks.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)02:49 No.3399388
    "The penalty for striking a courtesan is death."

    My people love them their hookers.
    >> parabolic:theEND !!HfL9M9xslOG 01/14/09(Wed)02:53 No.3399404
         File :1231919594.jpg-(53 KB, 400x300, 8EE116D1990031E9FB5AAD_Large.jpg)
    53 KB
    >>3399388
    I gotta protect my cashflow.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)02:53 No.3399407
    The penalty for a servant striking a dog is a few years' imprisonment.

    The penalty for an adept destroying potions is the loss of privileges.

    The penalty for maiming a goat is a small fine.

    The penalty for assaulting an official is a considerable term of servitude.

    The penalty for assaulting a servant is public humiliation.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)02:53 No.3399409
    Save the family homestead and find true love by wearing a funny hat and balancing on a tightrope.
    >FOR CASH!
    Impress the king and overcome bitter rivals by charging headlong into the enemy and weaving an elaborate web of lies.
    >About how the charging went
    Save the small child by setting things on fire and pouring gunpowder on everything.
    >Explosions save childern, True Fact
    Find the traitor by making outlandish statements and being really really earnest.
    > I HAD SEX WITH AN ELF ONCE.... HE WAS A DUDE.... I THINK I WAS VERY VERY VERY DRUNK
    Save the village and defend the camp by being incredibly sneaky and using the spell that must never be used.
    >NATURALLY BY USING THE SPELL
    Escape from danger and storm the castle by activating the unknown artifact and jumping on a table with the help of the mysterious stranger.
    >THE ARTICFACT OF TABLE YUMPING
    Turn back the advancing horde by singing a bawdy song and drawing on a talent for ventriloquism with the help of a supposedly trustworthy mage.
    > HE DOES THE BASS, AND ANIMATES THE PUPPETS
    Turn the tide of the war and slay the monster by calling on the power of the magic sword.
    > IT"S WHAT IT DOES.
    Slay the obnoxiously smug vampire by wearing impressively shiny armor and solving the riddle with the help of a small child.
    > SMALL CHILD, BANE OF VAMPIRES.
    Free the hostages and impress the local wenches by being fired from the catapult and firing the cannons
    > IN ONE FELL SWOOP.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)02:54 No.3399410
    The characters are formed with mostly curves in a detailed style. They represent sounds. Quite a few of the characters are adapted from an older culture's writing system.

    Letter Sound
    serpent eu (as in euphoria)
    sun oo (as in spoon)
    knotted rope a (as in ahh)
    plow i (as in ski)
    woman soft c
    leg soft g
    chicken head y (as in sky)
    moon ch
    bow ps
    sheep q
    human nose th
    dog/wolf head hard c
    boat/canoe hard g
    spear/javalin nd
    songbird ts
    rabbit t
    chicken silent
    flower l
    ox head sh
    well gh
    dog/wolf rolled r
    goat d
    animal horn(s) ng
    rodent z
    sun on horizon sk
    hand hard j

    Dipthongs: yes
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)02:54 No.3399416
    >Exchange students are conspiring with the UN to rig the election and brainwash our nation's children.

    FUCKING ESL kids , i knew it was them!
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)02:55 No.3399418
    >>3399388
    A courtesan is not strictly a hooker. They have training in etiquette, and generally only serve the upper classes.

    They're more like Companions from Firefly.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)02:56 No.3399428
    This army is known for its superior naval support and the use of morningstars. They also employ exotic animals. They are famous for refusing to ever surrender and for their strict code of ethics. Each brigade contains 10 platoons of 330 soldiers. They have a highly informal chain of command, with ranks based on family connections. Currently, they are engaging in a standoff.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)02:58 No.3399443
    >>3399416
    Collegiate Koreans Ate My Brain!
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)02:59 No.3399449
    Country song generator: Because country music ain't formulaic enough!

    A slow song by an alto about farming, god, patriotism, and drinkin'.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)02:59 No.3399454
    >>3399418
    What's that, Mr. Foreigner, you possess certain metals? Well? You better kiss that arm goodbye.

    Also, striking a noble? Long imprisonment. Striking a goat? Death.

    Anonymousland: Don't fuck with our bitches or our goats.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)03:05 No.3399494
    >>3399418

    Or rather a Companion is a courtesan
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)03:05 No.3399496
    Supermodels are conspiring with reporters and the Man to keep a brotha down.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)03:08 No.3399517
    Save the kingdom and evade capture by dashing madly down the stairs and going shirtless.
    >THEY WILL NEVER SEE THIS CUNNING PLAN COMING
    Find true love by juggling and swashbuckling.
    >YOU KNOW, LIKE EVERYONE ELSE
    Destroy the evil artifact by falsifying documents and using the spell that must never be used with the help of amazingly good luck.
    >A USE FOR THE FORGERY SKILL? BLASPHEME!
    Steal the shiny thing by jumping through a window and throwing melee weapons with the help of the power of love.
    >I STAB YOU WITH THE POWER OF WENCHES
    Restore peace to the land by making a valient last stand and being really really earnest.
    >LOOK, GUY, YOU GOTTA STAB ME. LIKE, RIGHT NOW. HEY! ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING?
    Save the small child by jumping on a table and balancing on a tightrope.
    >THE CHILD GAINS POWER FROM CIRCUS ACTS.
    Save the family homestead by throwing fireballs.
    >IT CAN'T BE STOLEN IF IT'S BURNED TO THE GROUND!
    Storm the castle and win the respect of the people by being fired from the catapult and balancing on a rolling barrel.
    >ACTUALLY, THIS WOULD BE PRETTY FUCKING AMAZING.
    Distract the guards by assuming false identities and striving valiently to be a good person with the help of the mysterious stranger.
    >BE THE GUARDS. ALL OF THEM.
    Turn the tide of the war and return from exile by singing a bawdy song with the help of a strange old man.
    >OH, GOD, NOT ANOTHER MUSICAL!
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)03:08 No.3399522
    >>3399496
    That's funny, because supermodels usually seem to keep me up.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)03:09 No.3399531
    >>3399522
    facepalm.gif
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)03:13 No.3399560
         File :1231920800.jpg-(40 KB, 1024x640, awesome.jpg)
    40 KB
    >>3399522
    OH U
    >> MechaMilk !T.We2gZSuI 01/14/09(Wed)03:17 No.3399594
    >>3399522
    Motherfucker, I'm laughing my ass off. Also, the site isn't working for me :(
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)03:17 No.3399596
    Reason: held seasonally
    Events: jousting, fencing, archery and martial arts
    Style: round robin / points-based
    Length: two weeks

    Awards: first place and an honorable mention
    Top Prizes: enchanted equipment

    Crowd: locals and foreigners
    Betting: official and unofficial
    Other Entertainment: parades, magic shows, musical contest(s) and local bards


    Competitors of interest:
    The showy mage who has many rivals.
    The menacing sorceror who may not be in it to win.
    The nondescript mercenary who is surprisingly agile.
    The local favourite who has more wit than skill.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)03:19 No.3399609
    Get rich quick by impersonating minstrels and being incredibly sneaky.

    Fuck yeah get rich quick schemes!
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)03:23 No.3399625
    >The penalty for a courtesan smuggling books is the loss of privileges.

    Lol the underground whorebook railroad

    >The penalty for a criminal maiming a draft horse is a considerable term of servitude.

    Meh, can't argue.

    >The penalty for a courtesan wounding an animal is whipping.

    Train to Kinkyville leaving in 5.

    >The penalty for a member of the royalty evading taxes is a few months' imprisonment.

    Wat.

    >The penalty for a noble impersonating a warrior is a brief term of servitude.

    Double wat.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)03:25 No.3399635
    >Gnomes are conspiring with spies to spread communism and imprison innocents.
    I KNEW GNOMES WERE IN LEAGUE WITH MARX!
    >Used-car salesmen are conspiring with a necromancer to start a war.
    Never trust used car salesmen
    >The BBC is conspiring with the girlscouts to create a police state and assassinate your favourite politician
    MIND=EXPLODED
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)03:25 No.3399636
    The penalty for a free woman possessing certain alchemical ingredients is branding.

    The penalty for a courtesan possessing certain bones is execution.

    The penalty for an official smuggling is a considerable fine.

    The penalty for plotting against a noble is whipping.

    The penalty for a noble kidnapping a guard is a moderate fine.

    >The penalty for striking a cat is execution.

    The penalty for a criminal engaging in larceny is a small fine.

    The penalty for a nobleman kidnapping a merchant is whipping.

    >The penalty for attacking a foreigner is a considerable term of servitude.

    The penalty for spying is public humiliation.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)03:26 No.3399644
    The penalty for endangering a criminal is branding.
    >wat

    The penalty for a member of a certain bloodline stealing corpses is a flogging.
    >... eew?

    The penalty for an apprentice stealing a slave is public humiliation.
    >dude, i want to steal a slave


    The penalty for a wizard killing a cow is the loss of privileges.
    >kill a cow, no fireball for you
    >> parabolic:theEND !!HfL9M9xslOG 01/14/09(Wed)03:27 No.3399646
    >>3399636
    >The penalty for striking a cat is execution.
    http://www.yuggoth.org/pub/hpl/thecatsofulthar.txt
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)03:28 No.3399652
    >This zombie is incredibly contagious. He is almost entirely decayed, and is missing an eye, part of the face, a foot, patches of skin and several fingers. He is somewhat slow, not very smart, and not very strong. He is wearing scraps of clothing. He attacks mostly by tackling victims.

    Shambling tackles: More dangerous than you might think.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)03:28 No.3399656
    >>These five dim stars form the shape of a pair of boots. The constellation represents a figure from an unclear prophecy.... Those born under it are often autistic.

    ...huh.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)03:33 No.3399679
    >>3399652

    >Shambling tackles

    SHACKLES!
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)03:33 No.3399684
    >Adventurers wanting to ensure good weather should consecrate a candle with fire in a temple under a waxing moon on either solstice.

    Just place the candle in the holy fame and wait.
    Oh...
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)03:34 No.3399693
         File :1231922055.jpg-(12 KB, 400x334, johnny depp.jpg)
    12 KB
    An epic myth about a righteous thief. His tale involves a valiant last stand, a strikingly attractive sailor, a bet, a daring escape and a joyous reunion.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)03:37 No.3399708
    >>3399693
    And Kate Beckinsale in a kemono.
    >> Lord Licorice 01/14/09(Wed)03:38 No.3399716
    >The penalty for an official extorting money from a herald is a brief term of servitude.
    Threatening to beat up the paperboy for his lunch money suddenly got risky.

    >The penalty for a courtesan possessing certain animal parts is life imprisonment.
    The Countess' exotic collection of animal dongs may very well be her undoing.

    >The penalty for destroying incendiaries is execution.
    The Fourth of July: The Most Dangerous Game

    >The penalty for endangering an animal is life imprisonment.
    Fucking hippie elves.

    >The penalty for comitting fraud is public humiliation.
    If only.

    >The penalty for engaging in piracy is the stocks.
    Somewhere an RIAA board member is fapping furiously.

    >The penalty for striking a rare animal is exile.
    DO NOT TAUNT THE DYNAMITE OWL

    >The penalty for offending a merchant is a considerable term of servitude.
    FLIP THE BIRD, BECOME SLAVE

    >The penalty for practicing forgery is execution.
    >The penalty for a juvenile practicing forgery is the loss of privileges.
    Better get all that forgery out of your system before you're 18, kiddo.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)03:40 No.3399727
    >>Terrorists are conspiring with Bill Nye to assassinate your favourite politician.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)03:41 No.3399730
    >A lute involving repeating design.

    Recursive stringed instruments, fuck yeah!?
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)03:41 No.3399733
    Wizards of the Coast is conspiring with a secret cabal and the secretary of defense to destroy the free world and create a police state.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)03:43 No.3399745
    >The penalty for lying under oath is the loss of a limb.

    Perjury! Bailiff, get the dismemberin' axe.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)03:44 No.3399754
    I challenge a fa/tg/uy DM to use this site for all relevant details of their next campaign and post the results.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)03:45 No.3399755
    >>3399708
    >Kate Beckinsale in a kemono.
    Sage for weeaboo furfaggotry.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)03:47 No.3399774
    >>Kaiacon, the God of Intoxicants, Spring and Mercenaries, is somewhat plain, with pale skin, short, white hair, and eyes the color of garnets. He is very tall and willowy, and sometimes seems very sad. He usually wears simple robes dyed gold and dark yellow. He is also associated with life, fire and cats. He is often worshipped by wanderers. His surprisingly few followers can be primarily distinguished by the rites they perform. There are many temples to him near lakes. There are many myths involving his wild romance with Aerozy. He is the son of Aerozy. He is known to help mortals seeking vengeance.

    I was drunk when I believed in him, sorry.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)03:47 No.3399776
    >The penalty for stealing body parts is the loss of a limb.
    The punishment actually fits the crim. I think it's broken.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)03:48 No.3399787
    >>3399774 There are many myths involving his wild romance with Aerozy. He is the son of Aerozy.

    I would worship this god.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)03:52 No.3399809
    The penalty for comitting acts of treason is execution.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)03:55 No.3399833
    >There are many myths involving his wild romance with Aerozy. He is the son of Aerozy

    WINCEST
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)03:57 No.3399844
    >>3399787

    He's a bad motherfucker
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)04:01 No.3399870
    >>3399774
    that is an awesome god
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)04:03 No.3399876
    >The penalty for a nonhuman stealing armor is a brief imprisonment.

    A Kobold has stolen -Leather Armor-!
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)04:06 No.3399893
    >>3399876
    In my fortress, that would be met with being dumped into the underground river.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)04:08 No.3399902
    >The penalty for molesting an apprentice is a warning.

    Haha, oh wow.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)04:10 No.3399918
    >>3399774
    The god of drunk mercenaries setting fires... and cats? He's an interesting god, but one I feel likely to dick over his worshipers.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)04:12 No.3399930
    >>3399918

    Not to mention his mother.

    Woah!

    Instantrimshot.com
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)04:12 No.3399934
    >>3399774
    OH YEAH? WELL MY GOD GOT HAMMERED AND FUCKED ONE OF HIS PARENTS!
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)04:14 No.3399945
    >>3399930
    HEYOOOOO!
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)04:15 No.3399952
    >>3399934

    Same god. I think we have the first sectarian split between Kaiaconians.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)04:18 No.3399966
    .....the top goddess - of the moon - has a questionable relationship with her brother the sun god, and apparently the goddess of magic has suspicious attractions towards her while serving her slavishly.

    My pantheon is a soap opera.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)04:48 No.3400113
    The penalty for striking a warrior is a warning.
    >> Next time, we'll let him kill you.
    The penalty for a tradesman attacking a craftsman is life imprisonment.
    >> We don't take kindly to union organizers in our town.
    The penalty for a tradesman attacking a craftsman is life imprisonment.
    >> ... Carry on, then.
    The penalty for a member of the royalty evading taxes on animal parts is the stocks.
    >> This is critical to our system of governance, and I'll thank you not to stare.
    The penalty for an apprentice abusing a slave is life imprisonment.

    The penalty for killing a slave is a few months' imprisonment.
    >> Lazy apprentices need to learn to finish their work.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)04:53 No.3400134
    >Aeriro, the God of Chaos and Abundance...is the son of Jyzanor.

    Aeriro: son of Jyzanor, got it.

    >Jyzanor, the God of Armor and Peace...is the brother of Elaennalan

    Aeriro: son of Jyzanor, nephew of Elarennalan, okay.

    >Elaennalan, the Goddess of the Moon, Shadows and Creation...is the sister of Xans.

    Aeriro: son of Jyzanor, nephew of Elarennalan and Xans, right.

    >Xans, the Goddess of Battle, the Desert and Winter...is the daughter of Cyd.

    Aeriro: son of Jyzanor, nephew of Elarennalan and Xans, grandson of Cyd.

    >Cyd, the God of the Underworld...is the husband of Aeriro.

    Wat
    >> parabolic:theEND !!HfL9M9xslOG 01/14/09(Wed)04:54 No.3400140
    >>3400134
    the gods are awesome.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)05:03 No.3400181
    >Tratriner, the God of Alchemy, He is the father of Raerael.

    >Raerael, the God of Fertility, He is the father of Tratriner.

    wat
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)05:04 No.3400185
    Anuv, the God of Vengeance and Opposites, There are many myths involving his lustful relationship with Oroyr. He is the brother of Oroyr. He is known to have relationships with virtuous mortals.

    Brother-love aside,
    > relationships
    > virtuous mortals
    > God of Vengeance and Opposites

    No problem here.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)05:11 No.3400221
         File :1231927889.jpg-(85 KB, 499x700, 1231008698413.jpg)
    85 KB
    >>3399755
    Severe gay detected.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)05:13 No.3400231
    People surprised by godly incest need to read more Greek mythology.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)05:15 No.3400244
    >>3400231
    Fuck Greek Mythology, the Egyptian royalty participated in incest BECAUSE it was what the gods wanted.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)05:17 No.3400248
    Name: Audrey Matthews
    Age: early 50s
    Profession: roofer

    Height: very short
    Body Type: stout
    Features: pinched
    Eyes: green
    Hair: medium, reddish brown

    Annoyed by: angst
    Sucker For: cute and fuzzy things

    >Favourite Sin: lust
    >Favourite Virtue: temperance

    Household: bird

    Favourite season: winter

    WAT?
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)05:17 No.3400255
    The penalty for illegaly trafficking wine is the stocks.
    >PROHIBITION!
    The penalty for a free man engaging in larceny is a warning.
    >Apparently, we run on the honor system.
    The penalty for engaging in larceny is execution.
    >WTF

    The penalty for evading taxes on metals is life imprisonment.
    > IRS on steroids.

    The penalty for a courtesan maiming a cow is a brief term of servitude.
    >So, dairy farmers get free whores if they beat on their cows? Sweet deal.
    The penalty for a juvenile illegaly trafficking magic artifacts is a flogging.
    >Yep.
    The penalty for a member of a lower class maiming an ox is branding.
    >These people like their oxen.
    The penalty for a tradesman endangering an indentured servant is a brief term of servitude.
    > lol just desserts
    The penalty for killing a nobleman is a small fine.
    >Man, everybody hates nobles.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)05:19 No.3400264
    Schemes:Avoid paying taxes by pouring gunpowder on everything.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)05:19 No.3400267
    Using the Crowd Generator:

    The well-muscled, happy old woman who is having a loud arguement with her friend.

    The slightly plump, laughing girl who just ducked into an alley.

    The scarred, cheerful man who just drew his dagger.

    The sandy-haired, grinning young woman who just drew her dagger.

    The half-naked, determined girl who is walking on crutches.

    The dark-skinned, happy girl who has a black eye and a split lip.

    The dark-skinned, sweaty young woman who is sitting on the ground.

    The cute, determined young man who is wearing a little too much makeup.

    The scrawny, sleepy young man who is chasing a small child.

    The tanned, obnoxious man who is holding a drawn sword.

    This has to be the worst neighborhood ever.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)05:23 No.3400285
    >>3400267
    >The scarred, cheerful man who just drew his dagger.
    OHSHI-
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)05:23 No.3400287
    The penalty for a guard illegaly trafficking bones is life imprisonment.
    >Hey you! We know you have those bones in there!
    The penalty for striking a cat is execution.
    >We really like our cats.
    The penalty for striking a dog is a small fine.
    >Dogs.... not so much
    The penalty for wounding a courtesan is exile.
    >Treat those whores with respect!
    The penalty for a member of the royalty comitting adultery is the loss of a limb.
    >You REALLY don't want to do that, bud.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)05:25 No.3400292
    OPs pic is REALLY freakin' me out.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)05:26 No.3400296
    >Football players are conspiring with the girlscouts to commit fraud and spread communism.

    Goddamn jocks.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)05:26 No.3400301
    Schemes: Return from exile by balancing on a rolling barrel and being really really earnest.

    >If only Napoleon had done this

    Stop the dark ritual and return from exile by firing the cannons and drinking heavily with the help of the prostitute with a heart of gold.

    >Again Napoleon...

    Rescue the princess and find the traitor by making exaggerated threats and setting things on fire.

    >Yay! Arson makes everything better!

    Banish the demon by being fired from the catapult and pouring gunpowder on everything.

    >Srsly gaiz, this'll totally banish this fucking demon, now pour more gunpowder on yourselves and fire away!
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)05:27 No.3400303
    >News anchors are conspiring with Tina Fey and used-car salesmen to assassinate your favourite politician.

    Laughed for a minute straight.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)05:28 No.3400309
    >A half-naked, indecisive girl who keeps tripping over things.

    Hello~
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)05:30 No.3400325
    Dragonborn Paladin Deity: Bahamut
    One of her at-will prayers is Enfeebling Strike.
    >Annoyed by: lost causes
    Sucker For: flattery
    Favourite Sin: Lust Favourite Virtue: Generosity Trusts in: Cunning
    >She has a deep distrust of religion.

    Worst Paladin Ever!

    Dwarf Fighter Weapon: Hammer
    One of her at-will exploits is Tide of Iron.
    >Annoyed by: excessive alcohol
    Sucker For: the adoration of the masses
    Favourite Sin: Sloth Favourite Virtue: Kindness Trusts in: Courage
    >Her favourite drink is hot chocolate.

    Worst Dwarf EVER!
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)05:33 No.3400342
    Time Period: Far Future
    Shaping Force: Magic
    Population: Fairly even mix of races Politics
    Political Structure: tribes - often warring
    Strong Influence: merit
    Popular Issue: magic
    Stability: stable

    Personal Freedoms: somewhat repressed
    Scandals: infrequent
    Foreign Relations: shaky Economy
    Main Export: machine-related
    Main Import: technology-related
    Technology Focus: space exploration
    Trade: major surplus

    Strength: stable and improving
    Wealth: fairly even, but with a wealth gap
    Ecology
    Planets Spanned: 5
    Preferred Climate: temperate - forested
    Ocean: on one side
    Mountains: none

    Wilderness: 15%
    Wild Animals: very rare
    Natural Resources: abundant Culture
    Highly Values: creativity
    Known For: a particular kind of magic
    Popular Entertainment: music/concerts
    Respected Profession: assassin

    Discrimination: age-based
    Major Taboo: death
    Major Social Ill: identity theft Military
    Strength: very strong
    Focus: space
    Main Unit: fast spaceships

    Soldiers: volunteers
    Main Use: conquest
    Rank: via family ties
    Magic
    Occurence: very common
    Source: granted by gods
    Major Use: medicine

    Viewed: with respect
    Enchanted Items: uncommon Religion
    Type: polytheism
    Focus: leader worship
    Worship: solemn public sacrifice by priests

    Associated Artform: sculpture
    Prevalence: believed by some
    Holidays: very many Population
    Urban: 63%
    Rural: 37%
    Literacy Rate: 94%

    Gender Ratio: 1.16 male(s)/female
    Fertility Rate: 1.5 children/family
    Life Expectancy: 34.1 years

    Man, I created a hardcore inter-tribal warring society.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)05:35 No.3400354
    Faction Generator
    Name: The Emerald Serpent
    Type: paladins
    Motivation: religion Influence: above average
    Reputation: very poor
    Age: somewhat old

    Initial Contact
    Relation: member
    Class: paladin
    Found: in the entertainment district
    Mood: bored
    Gender: female
    Distinguishing Trait: surprising companion

    With members like that, no wonder your paladin order's reputation is very poor.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)05:35 No.3400357
         File :1231929341.jpg-(192 KB, 745x400, AC-SocialStealth.jpg)
    192 KB
    >>3400342
    >>Respected Profession: assassin
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)05:43 No.3400404
    Name: Ilaezaco
    Gender: male
    Race: full angel

    Motivation: compassion
    Class: mercenary
    Current Mood: cheerful

    Attractiveness: 6
    on a scale of 1-10
    Eyes: blue
    Hair: black [dyed]
    Height: slightly tall
    Other: none

    Competence: 7
    on a scale of 1-10

    Main Weapon: flail

    Favourite Sin: Wrath
    Believes In: Luck
    Element: Wind/Air

    Sucker for: challenge
    Annoyed by: members of the same sex
    Hobby: sketches/draws

    Satisfaction with life: 17%
    Satisfaction with self: 27%
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)05:43 No.3400406
    >>3399003
    The penalty for destroying spices is execution.

    Because the spice must flow durhurhurdur.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)05:48 No.3400429
    >This army is known for its overpowering numbers and the use of tridents. They often rely on goblins. They are famous for enslaving conquered opponents and for fighting while intoxicated. Each legion contains 10 elements of 200 soldiers. They have a very loose chain of command, with ranks based on family connections. Currently, they are having trouble with the local populace

    What is intoxicated?
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)05:59 No.3400497
    This army is famed for its powerful cavalry and the use of mauls. They often employ martial artists. They are famous for their pride and for wanton cruelty. Each contains 20 teams of 490 soldiers. They have a very loose chain of command, with ranks based on family connections. At the moment, they are celebrating a string of recent victories.

    Cavalry, Mauls and Martial Arts? Holy crap, that sounds awesome!

    This army is famed for its quick-moving infantry and the use of katanas. They have been known to use rogues and martial artists. They are famous for debauchery and for their loyalty to each other. Each regiment contains 20 platoons of 40 soldiers. They have a strict chain of command, with ranks based on promotion by superiors. Currently, they are preparing for a major battle.

    WEEEEEEAAAAABOOOOOOO!!!!


    This army specializes in powerful cavalry and the use of daggers. They have been known to use halflings and dragonborn. They are famous for ignoring orders from civilian commanders and for wanton cruelty. Each cohort contains 10 troops of 350 soldiers. They have a strict chain of command, with ranks based on merit. At the moment, they are engaging in war games.

    Be very afraid of the halfling DAGGER CAVALRY!

    This army is known for its quick-moving infantry and the use of tridents. They are also known for using reformed pirates and ogres. They are famous for their flashy uniforms and for debauchery. Each division contains 20 platoons of 270 soldiers. They have a strict chain of command, with ranks based on family connections. At present, they are performing purely ceremonial duties.

    What ceremonial duties in hell do you need debauched pirates for?

    >>3400429
    Intoxicated means they're drunk.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)06:05 No.3400520
    >Capslock key + Lightbulbs + Bake at 140° F for 20 min = Paper mache

    >Dirt + Saran Wrap + Shake thoroughly = Charcoal

    >Car keys + LEDs + Platinum + Luck = Lipstick

    >White Gold + Safety pins + Instructions from IKEA = Peanut Butter

    >Polyhedral dice + Cardstock + Cotton balls + Luck = Charcoal

    >Skittles + Aluminium + Spinach + Intricate diagram = Icecream

    >Tin + Champagne + Faulty logic = Maple syrup

    >Silver + Opals + Lightning = Pogs

    >Fire Opals + Nail polish + Bicycle + Lightning = Jello

    >Boomerang + Poker chips + Wishful thinking = Cheese

    >Grape jelly + Chalk + Science = Rubber Cement

    >Red Paint + Quicksilver + Pogs + Magic = Cologne

    >Marshmallows + Tin Foil + Brass + Intricate diagram = Copper

    >Shoelaces + Magic markers + Banjo + Science = Marbles

    >White-out + Jetski + Microwave on high = Sequins

    >Soap (bar) + Silly Putty + Varnish + Puff of smoke = Iron

    >Jawbreakers + Sulfur + Sequins + Hocus Pocus = Cologne

    >Steak + Collectible Plates + Lightning = Cheese

    >Silver dollar + Green Paint + Prayers to Cthulu = USB drive

    >Staples + Spark Plug + Wishful thinking = Pop tabs

    This is awesome.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)06:17 No.3400576
    >>3400285
    It's simple.
    Kill the level 11 Rogue.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)06:19 No.3400581
    From the tavern generator:

    House Special: Very pale brown with metallic swirls and a lemon slice on the edge of the glass. The drink smells like snow and tastes like death. It causes very strange dreams.

    I imagine the lemon is there to take care of the death aftertaste.


    House Special: Copper with light swirls and some ice. The drink smells somewhat like raw meat and tastes somewhat like whiskey. It causes blackouts.

    The raw meat smell is upsetting. Thankfully, you're unlikely to remember smelling it.

    House Special: Dark amber with semi-transparent swirls and cinnamon on the rim of the glass. The drink smells heavenly and tastes somewhat like baking bread. The recipe is rumoured to include crushed bones.

    Giants must love this one.

    House Special: Aquamarine with small pieces of candy and a stick of cinnamon in the mug. The drink smells good and tastes like vomit. The locals drink it only on special occasions.

    House Special: Amethyst with white swirls and a grape floating in it. The drink smells like sludge and tastes like an explosion. It is highly flammable.

    Tastes like an explosion? Highly flammable? Are you sure it isn't actually exploding?
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)06:19 No.3400586
    >>3400429
    Fancy word for drunk and/or high
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)06:20 No.3400590
    >>3400520

    >Silver + Opals + Lightning = Pogs

    my god, it makes sense
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)06:24 No.3400612
    The penalty for a herald maiming a cow is a considerable term of servitude.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)06:27 No.3400635
    >>3400576
    Oh, NOW I see what he did there.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)06:27 No.3400637
    Major Taboo: hygiene

    I CREATED NECKBEARD COUNTRY
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)06:27 No.3400639
    >Wizards of the Coast is conspiring with Bill Nye to take over the world.


    FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)06:36 No.3400686
    From the idea generator: "Distract the guards by weaving an elaborate web of lies and balancing on a rolling barrel with the help of amazingly good luck."

    This generator. Is AWESOME.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)06:44 No.3400743
    >Sportscasters are conspiring with the Democrats and football players to release that which has been sealed away and destroy the world.

    >The gladiators are conspiring with zombies to start a war.

    >The secretary of defense is conspiring with Hollywood and Britney Spears to create Godzilla.

    >Zombies are conspiring with the UN to destroy the free world.

    Wut?
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)06:44 No.3400745
    Repel the invaders and break the seige by wearing impressively shiny armor.

    GO AWAY INVADERS I HAVE SHINY ARMOR
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)06:45 No.3400750
    >Rally the soldiers' morale by being really really earnest and punching that guy over there.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)06:51 No.3400783
    >Storm the castle by calling down lightning.

    >Escape from danger by punching that guy over there and charging headlong into the enemy.
    That's not escape from danger...

    >Return from exile and save the small child by wearing a funny hat.

    >Evade capture and pay for room at the inn by throwing fireballs and impersonating minstrels.
    I'll pay....WITH FIRE!!!
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)06:55 No.3400800
    Find the lost kitten by setting things on fire.

    Kittens love fire!

    Avoid paying taxes and discover the dire secret by pouring gunpowder on everything and swinging on a rope.

    Sounds like the story of Guy Fawkes.

    Win the respect of the people by drinking heavily and poisoning the wine.

    ... Oops. Didn't think that one through, did you?


    Defeat the villain and pay for room at the inn by striding in boldly and falsifying documents.

    Put it on his tab.

    Win the bet by balancing on a rolling barrel and dashing madly down the stairs.

    It might be easier and less painful just to admit defeat on that one.

    Save the kingdom by going shirtless.

    Classic female tactic.

    Win the bet and storm the castle by striving valiently to be a good person and pouring gunpowder on everything.

    Lying to yourself is the part that makes it work.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)12:46 No.3402555
    BAMPU
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)12:53 No.3402605
    >The penalty for fighting a criminal is a few months' imprisonment.

    wat
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)12:56 No.3402619
    The penalty for a member of a lower class plotting against a member of a higher class is a warning.

    The penalty for smuggling herbs is a moderate fine.

    The penalty for killing a member of the royalty is a warning.

    VIVA LA REVOLUTION
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)13:00 No.3402660
    >The penalty for a free woman kidnapping a soldier is a considerable fine.

    My personal favourite.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)13:03 No.3402681
    >The penalty for striking a goat is the stocks.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)13:05 No.3402695
         File :1231956315.jpg-(57 KB, 400x334, goat is disadvantaged.jpg)
    57 KB
    >>3402681
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)13:22 No.3402827
    The penalty for robbing a foreigner is a considerable fine.

    The penalty for a slave fighting in public is a few months' imprisonment.

    The penalty for fighting in public is a flogging.

    The penalty for a foreigner killing a cow is a considerable fine.

    The penalty for wounding a dog is a few years' imprisonment.

    The penalty for stealing metals is a small fine.

    The penalty for maiming an indentured servant is exile.

    The penalty for a member of the royalty destroying body parts is the loss of privileges.

    The penalty for fighting in public is the loss of a limb.

    The penalty for a noblewoman extorting money from a free man is a considerable fine.

    The penalty for a nobleman abusing a draft horse is a considerable fine.

    The penalty for a member of the royalty stealing books is a flogging.

    The penalty for molesting an adept is the loss of privileges.

    The penalty for a warrior killing a member of a certain bloodline is public humiliation.

    The penalty for a member of a lower class gambling is execution.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)13:25 No.3402859
    The penalty for comitting acts of public indecency is execution.

    The penalty for a craftsman comitting acts of public indecency is a flogging.

    The penalty for abusing a draft horse is a considerable fine.

    The penalty for impersonating a herald is a small fine.

    The penalty for endangering a horse is a long imprisonment.

    The penalty for a member of a lower class plotting murder is a brief term of servitude.

    The penalty for a courtesan insulting a soldier is public humiliation.

    The penalty for a noble insulting a wizard is life imprisonment.

    The penalty for maiming a horse is a brief imprisonment.

    The penalty for an official possessing certain textiles is execution.

    The penalty for an adept attempting bribery is the loss of a limb.

    The penalty for being drunk in public is a considerable term of servitude.

    The penalty for gambling is the stocks.

    The penalty for an official impersonating a priest is whipping.

    The penalty for an official consorting with the enemy is the loss of a limb.

    The penalty for a courtesan striking an elder is whipping.
    I guess they really like craftsmen.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)13:27 No.3402880
    Human Paladin Deity: Moradin
    One of her at-will prayers is Valiant Strike.
    Str: 16 Con: 9 Dex: 11 Int: 14 Wis: 9 Cha: 15
    Fort: 15 Ref: 14 Will: 14 AC: 17 Armor: scale
    Annoyed by: total innocence
    Sucker For: members of the opposite sex
    Favourite Sin: Sloth Favourite Virtue: Temperance Trusts in: Knowledge
    She has a horrible memory for names. Her birthday is in the ninth month of the year.


    FUCK YES
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)13:27 No.3402881
    I like the rituals.

    Criminals wanting to consult the fates must slay a crow at a crossroads under a quarter moon on either equinox.

    Anyone wanting to avenge themselves should slay a boar by a river at night in the summer.

    Seers hoping to be assured of success can interpret the positions of the stars in a ritual space under a quarter moon .

    Anyone wanting to celebrate the season must interpret the entrails of a doe in the wilderness between dusk and dawn on the summer solstice.

    Sorcerors wishing to give thanks for a safe journey must offer a gift of dragon scales at a holy site .

    Soldiers seeking to affect the weather should consecrate themelf with magic at a certain shrine under a waning moon on the autumn equinox.

    Soldiers wanting to curse a rival lover must slay a dove under a quarter moon .

    Nobles wishing to bind a demon should slay a human in a ritual space between dusk and dawn when the days grow short.

    Anyone wanting to be assured of success can offer a few drops of blood at a shrine under a waning moon when the days grow short.

    Mystics hoping to be forgiven can offer a gift of magic at a holy site in the morning on the autumn equinox.

    Wizards trying to gain fame must offer a gift of great value at a crossroads at night when the first flowers bloom.

    Paladins needing to purify themselves can slay an eagle at a crossroads in the morning on either solstice.

    Paladins hoping to avert the wrath of the gods can interpret the positions of the planets in a cave after the first stars light the sky on the summer solstice.

    Anyone seeking to call down the wrath of a demon can interpret the entrails of a dove in a specific temple at midnight while the leaves are turning.

    Anyone needing to be healed by the gods can consecrate a symbolic object with fire at the feet of an idol between dawn and dusk on the winter solstice.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)13:30 No.3402907
    The penalty for a cleric wounding a dog is public humiliation.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)13:32 No.3402926
    This army is known for its highly precise formations and the use of nets. They often make use of foriegners and pooka mounts. They are famous for their high-quality weapons and for their harsh discipline. Each corps contains 10 squadrons of 160 soldiers. They have a very strict chain of command, with ranks based on family connections. At the moment, they are celebrating a hard-won victory.
    >> sofacoin !YtEoORGvq6 01/14/09(Wed)13:34 No.3402934
    Huh.
    "The punishment for acts of public indecency is public humiliation" does not strike me as an effective law.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)13:36 No.3402950
    >>3402934
    Maybe it's a hardcore society. Public indecency = taking off a pair of gloves. Public humiliation = death by beheading.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)13:37 No.3402955
    >>3402934
    Sounds like eye for an eye.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)14:01 No.3403146
    >Anyone desiring to ensure prosperity for themselves should consecrate their body with fire at the feet of an idol under a quarter moon in the spring.

    A society where most of the merchants are covered in burn-scars. Neat.
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)14:12 No.3403232
    >Save the kingdom by wearing a funny hat and skulking.

    The plot for a JRPG?
    >> Anonymous 01/14/09(Wed)14:22 No.3403321
    Mud + Dirt + Faulty logic = Printer ink
    >I don't think the logic could be too faulty.
    White-out + Bamboo + Instructions from IKEA = Frisbee
    >Yep, thats about what you get from those instructions.


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