green and orky is bestest

We were playing DnD, and we fought some Slugga Boyz.

Shit be awesome.

Big, muscular, dark green, with a face that looks like something between an ape and a boar.

Like my coffee

COVERED IN BEES

Riding a motorcycle with machine guns strapped to it.

>>3676553
CHARACTER CONCEPT:

WARFORGED FIGHTER

REMOVES FACEPLATE IN BATTLE TO REVEAL THAT HIS HEAD IS FILLED WITH BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES

Like this. Nice and Orky.

Big 'n' sexy.

>>3676553

I love a man who can recite Eddie Izzard

warhammery.

I like reluctant orcs that sing catchy tunes.

When there's a whip, there's a way
When there's a whip, there's a way
When there's a whip...

>>3676697
Oh shit, you bastard, I had just purged that from my mind.
NOW IT'S BACK

>>3676516
>Green, pig-like

Both. An Ork is fine too.

I like my Orcs huge, covered in animal skins, and wielding either a Greataxe or a very ugly spear.

oi like 'em orky!

>>3676516
All are acceptable personally.

I like my orcs to make sense within the context of the game world.

>>3676697
We don't want to go to war today!
But the lord of the lash says, 'nay nay nay!'

>>3676786
We're gonna march all day all day all daaaaaay!

My games have just as many subcategories of Orc as there are subcategories for elves. Fair is fair after all...

I prefer Orcs over Orks.

>>3676539
Yeah fuck right off. Peaceful-orc-hug-a-tree-lets-be-firends-we're-misunderstood shit.

>>3676832
every race should have them, keeps the players interested when each new group of gobbos or band of bolds has a different quirk.

Orcs of any kinds are acceptable, so long as they're out to ruin everyone else's shit and kick ass. None of this noble warrior bullshit.

>>3676804
'Cause where there's a whip, there's a way!

Where there's a whip, there's a way.
Where there's a whip, there's a way.
Where there's a whip, there's a way.

Warhammer orcs = Fucking awesome

Warcraft orcs = Fucking sad

>>3676892
Right, goblins, dorfs, lizardmen and hell even halflings already have a fuckton of varieties, but there only seemed to be maybe two kinds of orc that I could find so I fixed that.

>>3676902
warcraft had good ones all up to WoW. just like how Sarah Connor's chronicles ruined terminator and Anne Rice ruined vampires.

>>3676832
Celadon Toadstool for the win.
Other than the fact that she romanced an elven vet while sick, that is.

>>3676697
Like this, actually.

>Anne Rice ruined vampires.

No, not saying she was good for vampires, but vampires could have recovered from Anne Rice.

It was Anne Rice fans that ruined vampires.

>>3676917
Wc3 orcs = the same as WoW you ultra faggot

>>3676640
One of the first pics in my fap folder...

>>3676655

I like orcs who poke badgers with spoons.

>>3676901

A crack on the back sez we're gonna fight,
We're gonna march all day and night,
Till morn, for we are the slaves of the dark lord's horde!!!

>>3676942
Whenever I think Orcs those are the orcs I think of, also the song that plays when they burn the forest to try and kill the dwarves.

Fifteen birds on five fir trees,

Their feathers were fanned in a fiery breeze,

But, funny little birds, they had no wings!

O what shall we do with the funny little things?

Roast 'em alive, or stew them in a pot;

Fry them, boil them and eat them hot?

>>3676942
Clap! Snap! The black crack! Grip, Grab! Pinch, nab! And down down to Goblin-town you go, my lad! Clash, crash! Crush, smash! Hammer and tons! Knocker and gongs! Pound, pound, far underground!

Down-down to goblin town, bitches.

>>3676964
Left, right, left, right, left, right

I actually have never read anything about WH40k, I've always been a D&D kind of neckbeard, but after roaming /tg/ for a while, the 40k orks caught my interest. so I downloaded the codex and have been studying it, hoping to use 40k orks to spice up the orcs in D&D. so far, I find them terribly entertaining, and dead-killy compaired to a one diminsional, single hit-dice ass-bag monsterous humanoid that exists for little more than to give the elves' creation story an antagonist.

... but deep down inside, I've always favored the pig-faced orc over the gorrilla faced ones in the MM, dating back to experience with the old Zelda cartoon and the pig-like Ganon of yesteryear, ala link to the past.

that kinda puts a tragic spin on Tolkien's Orcs. I mean they're forced to live in & march through the shittiest countryside imaginable, to be meatgrindered against Minas Tirith.

Fuck, who says they couldn't try to develop their own cultures & cities if Sauron wasn't there, dicking it up always.

>>3676998
A fan of Pig-Orcs myself.

also, yeah, I hate WoW orcs with a passion. they're almost as faggoty as the orcs from lineage. they all look so damned -pretty-, and that's just entirely counterintuitive to what an orc is supposed to be in my book. although, certain half orcs might could pull off being sexy.

also, subtle racism in orc design. notice how the orc women of Wow have broad, flat noses, like black people? and the lineage orcs (and, well, everything else in lineage) all look east-asian? I just always thought that was funny...

rolled 16 = 16

Semi-piglike was always my favorite, closely followed by hulking brutish gorilla-like orcs. As long as their presence means someone's day is about to be abruptly ruined, I feel they're being used right.

>>3677005
In The Hobbit the Orcs (Admittedly they are goblins but who the fuck cares, same shit really) where RIP AND TEAR. They only lost because they where fighting to combined forces of the Dwarves, wood-elves, lake-men banded together _AND_ Gandolf summons Giant Eagles.

>>3677023

Subtle racism in Orc design? Orcs are just a semi-polite way for nerds to bash minorities without playing "Niggerdeath: Turbo-Edition!". Orcs fall into the subhuman savage category that pretty much any non-european got lumped into in 19th century adventure literature, which probably influenced Tolkien when he first made the Orcs in the Hobbit.

>>3677023
Spoilers: Everything in Linage looks Asian because it is Asian.

My fetish is being dominated by female half orc paladins until it makes them fall.

An orky is fine too

i like the ruined and ugly form of orcs found in the lotr movies.

>>3677069

Yeah, because there are absolutely no real-life cultures that breed quickly, pollute their own environs, act belligerent towards "others", and scavenge technology from cultural betters...

Orcs: The other white meat

>>3677129
Paladins never fall, it's such an overused and intrinsic development that it's implied by the Paladins respective god from the start.

>>3677153
You are absolutely correct about those capitalist swine, comrade.

>>3677153

>breed quickly, pollute their own environs, act belligerent towards "others", and scavenge technology from cultural betters

So... America?

>>3677172

So everybody?

>>3677221

Human is the Orc of the World.

>>3677221

Thank god someone said it. Now we can make multicolored orcs from different regions and all the pansies with their IT'S RACIST idiocy can go fuck off back to Sanfran.

>>3677230

In that case why even have Orcs at all? Human beings are already dicks no matter what culture, so you could just use human antagonists instead of inventing some punching-bag species.

>>3677238

1: It would'nt be as guilt-free.

2: Accusations of being GRIMDERP.

3: Fuck off, faggot.

Calling D&D racist is giving it too much credit.

It's like saying the writers of Terminator were ludites.

>>3677256
>ludites

I love you, too bad I bet no one else even knows what this word means.

Lol, in before people googling and then typing a retort.

>>3677256
>>3677283

It's spelled "Luddite" you fucking queers.

>>3677283

They'd have a hard time googling it since it's spelled "Luddite," dumbass.

>>3677298
>>3677304

ludditemind.

>>3677250

Wheres this guilt-free shit coming from? You can kill people no problem and have a laugh about it. Haven't you ever seen an action movie? Shitloads of guys get blown up, shot, smashed, crushed, burned, and skewered all within the span of an hour and a half and the audience has a great time.

I believe it is you who should fuck off since you can't even take pleasure out of slaughtering humans and have to resort to green human substitutes.

>>3677304

Actually, even if you did google "ludite" you'd get an automated correction, so you'd find it anyway.

>>3677315

Yeah, but you can't kill actual BLACK people without white-guilt setting in. It's no fun killing just whities.

appearence can change as they like. i just like them as guys who just love to fight, not really evil. can wind up either side just as easily

>>3677333

The fuck said you can't? You can kill whoever you goddamn feel like just as long as it makes sense in-character for you to do it.

Some white douchebag trying to rob the party? Decapitate him.

Puerto Rican assassin trying to bump you off? Magic missile.

The necromancer terrorizing the village is black? His AC is the same as any old honky.

This is Fantasy and we're NOT supposed to have monsters in it? Whom we can fight and kill? Some of which are humanoid?

Fuck off, liberal crybabies.

>>3677359

The problem is that Orcs aren't proper monsters -- they're basically just really big dumb humans who like to kill shit. A Beholder is a monster. A Dragon is a monster. A Displacer Beast is a monster. An Orc is a trucker who's had too many beers.

Pig orcs can be cute, too.

>>3677359
You can fight and kill for political, ideological, or material reasons. Like humans always have.

You can't be morally justified in invading some poor fuckers home and gutting him, is the point. "Drafted dude with a rusty pigsticker" is not a worthy foe to kill for killing's sake.

>>3677382
>An Orc is a trucker who's had too many beers.

You're under the impression that's not a monster?

>>3677359

Also, I've noticed that conservatives tend to bitch a lot louder and longer about shit that they don't like than liberals.

Gay marriage? Organize a massive multi-state campaign to make sure that people that you will never meet respect "the sanctity of marriage".

Protest against the war? Scream about commie-homo-democrats trying to destroy the country from the inside.

Teaching actual Science in a Science classroom? GODDAMN LIBRULS! I AIN'T COME FROM NO MONKEY, JESUS SAID SO!

Happy holidays? FUCK YOU, ITS MERRY CHRISTMAS! AMERICA WAS FOUNDED AS A CHRISTIAN NATION! (even though documents written by the founding fathers during the brief war with turkish pirates specifically state that america is NOT a nation with any specific state sponsored religion)

Shit goes on forever.

>>3677425
>I notice the things I dislike about other people more than I notice the things other people dislike about me.

Welcome to human society, is this your first day here?

>>3677402

That reminds me of a joke.

*ahem*

A polynomial is a starving parrot.

>>3677359
> This is Fantasy and we're NOT supposed to have monsters in it?

If it looks like it -could- be your ally, it's not a fucking "monster" Or monster-y enough to be considered as one by me.

>>3677425
I don't know that I agree with you. It is my experience that the lunatic fringe on both sides yells pretty damn loud. And that the biggest problem with the yellers (I mean besides the ugly, the noise, the stupid, and the fact that they are breathing MY air) is that while some of them are indeed "right wing" NONE of them are conservatives.

When was the last time you saw an outraged group demanding loudly that pork be cut?

Bush and co may have been right wing, but I get a twitch in my eye every time someone calls them conservative. They were the biggest bunch of RINOs I can remember.

ITT : Anthropoïds are the only creatures worthy of being considered.

>>3677511

Worthy of being considered what? Finish your sentences before you hit 'Submit' you child.

>>3677506

That's what the Republican Party IS nowadays, though.

Conservative will be redefined to fit the consensus definition.

Get a new descriptor, your old one broke.

>>3677529

You can't make me.

>>3677545

WIP, by the way...

>>3677533
Not at the grass roots. My Republican party, the one who's meetings I go to, whose dues I pay, who's candidates run for sheriff, mayor, and city council, is still true to my values.

So is my Congressman and Governor.

My Senators, President, etc? Fucking traitors.

But the rest, they are people I can eat with and not have to shower later.

Feh, same thing with the Democrats. If you love what they say, you will hate what they do.

And if you hate what they say, you are really fucked.

Politics on the national level makes me nothing but angry. Anyone with half a brain, and the ability to think for themselves feels the same way, no matter their political leanings.

Ork it up!

And some of my Praetorian kyborks. (Will be regular shoota boys in rules but praetorian's fluff from the winterking says kyborks, so...)

Anyone have any orcish advice to give?

>>3677497

Many "monsters" (elves, faeries, etc.) who looked like they could be your allies are in mythology, bastardlicious bastard-coated bastards who would fuck you over and enslave your children at the drop of a hat.

Just because it looks right or pretty does'nt make it your friend.

Actually, just looking pretty makes it your enemy.

>>3677652
Actually,

:Orc:

I'm a Nosferatu.

>>3677762

OH SNAP

HE IS ONLY A MAN

:orc:

KILL HIM

adviceorc.jpg

Orcish Medicine

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

>>3677652

>>3677806

I AM ONLY A MAN

adviceviking.jpg

AND YET I KILLED YOU

This one is horrible and I deserve to feel horrible about it.

>>3677987
It sounds completely orky, you should be proud.

>>3677686
All right then, rephrased:

"Can it be reasoned with through communication of complex thoughts? if so, then it can technically be your ally for the time that it agrees to your position or train of thought."

WarCraft 3 orcs would fall under this definition; they're effectively just reskinned human models. WarCraft 1+2 orcs, and LotR orcs on the other hand are all under a basic kind of mind-control by their master(s) so reason is beyond them.

I like my orcs as simply the low level version of what some people call elves -- stronger, smarter ones just gain the ability to cloak their natures in the guise of something beautiful. They don't exist as seperate species, or even breed -- amongst each other -- at all.

Also, Vecna's biggest secret is that he's got a few other one-eyed gods as his aliases...

>>3677382

And an Ork is a Soccer hooligan with a cockney accent.

>>3678114

Odin AND Sauron?

Orcs make a lot more sense if you assume they only seem like humanoids.. either as 1 HD outsiders, 4E foulspawn, fungi, etc. Namely, in Tolkien's works, there are no female orcs, there are no orc farmers or fields or whatever, but they have insanely massive populations.

>>3678149

Settings with female orcs piss me off a little (post-WoW Warcraft, when orcs suddenly grew breasts and became mammals!).

>Warcraft orcs

The default strategy if you want an "original" race of evil humanoids, is "Take sinister subterranean race, make them martians. SO ORIGINAL"

The drow were based off the Black Martians of Barsoom, right down to the whole evil S&M culture thing. And the Warcraft orcs are green skinned alien invaders from a red planet, though they certainly used to have a style all their own.

>>3678185

OH GOD SHUT UP SHUT UP

>>3678123
I like my orcs, to be rapin' orcs.

>>3678287

>>3678264

>>3678223
It wouldn't normally be that, but my main from 99 to 03 was an ogre warrior with perfect faction ratings with almost all the good races in the end. The first he tried to crack was the wood elves, which meant countless hours of orc slaying in Crushbone. Oh lord the lengths I went through for roleplaying sake...

Never got past level 35 though the 166mhz computer contributed to that.

>>3678376

>>3678402
That should be Advice Uruk.

>>3678402

>>3678426
okay that one make me fucking lol