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03/18/09(Wed)12:01 No.4013601Tonic of Follicular Growth Marketed as the holy grail of hair tonics this item initially grants "perfect hair", giving the user a significant bonus in all social and fiscal interactions.
However, tonic must be applied religiously, 6 times a day in exact 4 hour intervals (OCD, sleep-loss), If not applied in this manner, the social bonus bubble bursts, and the user's hair begins an extreme recession, creeping down the back of the head in an initial widow's peak/mullet hybrid, down the back as some freakish mane, between the buttocks like some hideous tail, until, in its terminal stage, achieving Permanent Pubic Entanglement (PPE), spawning multiple hostile hair (tentacle) creatures from the user's crotch, and requiring stat checks for even the simplest lower body movements.
Up until PPE, recession can be avoid with liberal application of tonic, and carefully stimulation, however, as implied by the name. PPE is permanent. The only cure for PPE is complete simultaneous obliteration of ALL hair creatures spawned. (They're not just entangled, their QUANTUM entangled.) Other wise; Death by Bush. |