Slam and jam.

Let's do the time warp again.

Turn yourself about.
That's what it's all about.

Get up, it's time to slam down.

open the door

Shit yes!
olde english, porkchops, and msq. What could make for a better friday?

get on the floor

>>18798048
Tank Witches Quest.
ohwaitthatsalreadyhappening

>>18798063
Im there too look back a few posts.

>>18798048
Get that one promotion that you always wanted. or if not employed, get that one job that you had that eye on.

>>18798078
Yeah but you didn't mention it.

everybody do the getreadytorunfromFurries

You find yourselves walking in a still wet section of the sewers.
Questionable, unspeakable things float by you in the foot-deep sludge.

3 ninjas take point, 3 more cover the rear. Your main party taking up the middle of the file.

You walk on, refuse and waste from the surface drifting by lazily.
There, a blond wig with a suspicious red stain.
And there, the glove from some intricate foam armor.
You look around the moss and mold covered walls and find something that disturbs you.
Strands of long purple fur.
They shine in the beam of your flashlight as you look at the morbid trail on the wall before you.

"Furries are afoot." You tell your team, making them take out their weapons oncemore.

>Twitter
>Perrine gets a medical
>so much implied implications
>could still be referring to a fucking baby bird goddamnit LG
>also Negi crashes our beach party

>>18798141
Nah, that was Ron Swanson

Yes, made it.
By the way guys, read the archives. What happened to the Moral Hatting Debate?>>18798105
>Furries are afoot
Ready the Demon Slayer, we shall spill furry blood tonight.
>ironically enough, one of my friends is a furry. I still dont like furries, though. for good reason.

And LG, I commend the fact that you can pull of a massive shitstorm out of the blue with just one post.
Here's a gift.

>>18798141
Its not canon till its fire, but by God LG's loading the shit out of it.

>>18798181
>what happened to the moral hatting

Turned into a debate between two people exclusively about the nature of debate. I got bored and just kinda lurked the thread at that point.

>>18798171
Ron Swanson? In my MSQ?

Your group walks through the tunnel cautiously, weapons flinching at every shadow and sound.
After about 15 more minutes, you come at a fork in the tunnels.
To your left, a slightly drier, smaller tunnel. In the distance you hear the sound of traffic.
To your right, the same kind of wet, sludge-strewn tunnel you have been following since you got out of the factory.

WHAT PATH DO YOU CHOOSE OH MASTER BUTLERS?

[ ]left
[ ]right
[ ]wait for the rest of the ninjas

>>18798220
[x]Right
Tell one of the shirt ninjas to leave a marker to the others, should the manage to find us.

>>18798220
Wait for ninjas, then head left.

>>18798220
Left, and leave a marking or something to tell the others which way we went.

>>18798181
Verrah nice, sir.

>>18798200
I get the feeling I'm missing something here

>>18798220
Left

>>18798181
perfect filename.
excellent work AD.

>>18798220

[X] Wait for the rest of the ninjas.

does kraus know roughly where we are in the city? If we can hear traffic there is a chance he can pull video feed to tell us if M went that way

>brb discussing a business venture with a neighbor

>>18798613
Don't buy nothin' LG.

>>18798613
Buy everything. EVERYTHING. EVEN YOUR LOST DIGNITY.

>>18798613
thought you might be trying to pull a Mark Twain there for a little bit.

Oh, and we should never try to use the bunny ears on nasu unless she is in "mortal" peril. Just tell her that its a powerup from where you are from if asked. Also, NEVER TRY IT OTHERWISE.

>>18798220
LEFT!

And most people seemed to end up saying no hatting

[ ]left

>>18798613
Fly, you fool!

>>18798648
It probably wouldn't work anyway,
She is a much more complex construct than the ones we hatted

>>18798668
Really? I got the opposite impression. Are you sure you weren't just hearing the loudest people?

>>18798713
Which logically means we would have less work to do. We gave the simple ones entirely new personalities - she already has one. And it's already that of a maid.

Shit, it should actually be even EASIER to take her over.

>>18798668

One more vote for NO HATTING!!

You head left and ask bob to leave a sign for the other ninjas to follow.
The dry tunnel is a welcome reprieve from slogging trough all that much earlier.
As you continue to walk, the sounds of vehicles and screeching tires grow louder.

With your weapons at the ready, you round a bend and find yourselves in a huge chamber held up by countless towering collumns.
Wooden torches along the walls cast some light on the ground as the high pitched whirs of multiple engines fill the cavern.

A man in a gorrilla suit steps out from behind a collumn and heads straight towards your group.

WAT DO OH MASTER BUTLERS?
[ ]FURRIES! (MAM BURN KILL)
[ ]RETREAT!
[ ]Wait for whatever he does.

>is now considering financing a small buy&sell auto business

rolled 16 = 16

>>18798781
>MAIM BURN KILL!
Brick him

>>18798781
Gorillas are pretty cool. Let's see what he does.
But make sure he's alone.

>>18798781
Stop right there Gorilla Man. Let's talk.

An unconscious pervert won't get us any information so as much as I wish for him to be burned and maimed we should at least try to get info before we rip his guts out.

>>18798781
[x]Wait for whatever he does.

>>18798781
As much as I want to MAIM KILL BURN furries, we need info.

"We dont want to hurt you, gorilla! Stop! Or we WILL open fire."

If he doesnt stop, throw the brick at his legs. We need to see the capabilities of the Demon Slayer, and he will prove to be a wonderful test subject.

>>18798781
[X ]Wait for whatever he does.
Dead things tell no tales. We need him alive

>>18798781
Wait and see.

[ ]FURRIES! (MAM BURN KILL)

>>18798781
Wait and see, unless he's wearing Mardi Gras beads. Then kill it with fire.

>wait
"Furries..." Naru says in a low voice as she readies her chain.
The ninjas too, ready thier weapons and hilarious karate poses.
"Wait." You tell them "Lets see what he does first."

The gorrillaman approches you, the red necktie at his neck swaying with each step, and takes off his costume's head.
"Hey guys. You come here for the next race?" he asks.
"What race?" Erica says.
"This race." he points at the a group of vehicles, not unlike go-karts cobbled together from shopping carts and lawnmowers, now coming into view.
People in various costumes ride them and are throwing banana peels and what appears to be dead turtles at each other.

"We're the Karters." The gorrillaman continues to explain. "And this is the 122nd sewer cup."

WAT SAY OH MASTER BUTLERS?

>>18798781

[X] Wait for whatever he does.

We need info but give him fair warning if he makes any hostile moves.

>>18798919
WE MARIOKART NOW
[x] Erica can be Toad because Toad hat is silliest hat.

>>18798919
That's great. Look, you seen anyone come by that looks like this? He was probably wearing a black and red robe.

>>18798919
Let's race them for info on the guy we're tracking.

rolled 62 = 62

>>18798919
Request ze informations, about ze man, what we are following. If we must race for it, we shall.

"That's great. Anyway, have you seen a man in a black robe go by here?" You ask him as you describe the man you are after.
"That guy? He fucking stole on of our reserve carts!" The gorrillaman says in anger. "I wasnt even done painting it yet."
"Which way did he go?" Erica asks him.
"Through the western culvert, it should lead you to the surface if you avoid all the cave-ins." he explains.
"He was through here about an hour ago though. No way you can catch up to him on foot. They may not look like it, but my babies can go at a street shredding 15kph." he says proudly.

"Will you lend us some carts?" You ask him.
"Weeeell..." he begins to say, looking thoughtfully at your group.

**ROLL FOR RENT-A-CART**

rolled 39 = 39

>>18799093
:V

rolled 63 = 63

>>18799093
Would a true Gorilla let a man like that escape. I say no, let me track him down for you, he shall rue this day!

rolled 6 = 6

>>18799093
Give him the junkfood.

rolled 71 = 71

>>18799093

rolled 85 = 85

>>18799093
Brick him and steal some karts if he says 'no.'

rolled 98 = 98

>>18799093
It if makes you feel better, we're probably gonna beat the shit out of him if we find him.

>>18798919
We race!

We remember when our parents bet on us to win a race with the local oyabun's son. We crashed and lost so they used us for collateral, we eventually befriended him while helping him work on his car and learnt to drive well before he and his family were killed in gang wars

>>18799122
"... Are those Doritos in that bag?" He asks nodding towards the plastic bag Naru had with her.
"Yes. And pringles and a couple of boxes of pocky." She answers.
"Hmnnn.. I do have 4 carts in running order..." He contemplates.
"We'll give you the bag for them." You tell him. "And Ill make sure you get all five carts back after we're through."
"Okay, sure. Let me show you to your rides." He shakes your hand.

He leads you to a space near one wall were a pile of parts and a bunch pf halfbuilt vehicles are stored.
In a row near the mountain of metal, are four gokarts.
Each one was made from a small enging, rubber tires taken off kid's bikes, and a frame ripped out of a shoppingcart.

"Here they are. All topped up and ready to race."
"If you crash in one of them or if they blow up, don't bother putting out the fire, jsut leave em like that." He laughs, "It'll make it easier for us to find them in the tunnels."

4 CARTS ACQUIRED.
WHO WILL RACE?

>>18799247
Hina and the ninja's can watch the crowd for our targets

Gai, Erica, Naru and Hayate can race

>>18799247
Core team will race, Naru and the ninjas will follow on foot.

>>18799313
This with
>>18799151

Delicious PTSD

rolled 27 = 27

>>18799247
Hayate, Hina, Naru, and Ninjaleaderguydude.
Erica and Gai can bring the rest of the ninjas.

>>18799247
Just our team driving

Naru and the ninja's can scout out the crowd and surrounding area for any targets

>>18799344
You think Erica's gonna pass up the chance to drive something?

>>18799313
Thirding this.

>core team driving
You, Gai, Erica and Hina approach the vehicles.
"Naru, I want you and the ninjas to follow on foot." You tell her as you get into one of the carts.
"Yes, my Lord." She answers.

"Wait!" The gorrillaman interrupts you as you start the engine.
You think he's gonna teach you how to handle the machines or something, but your were mistaken.
"If you're gonna ride the kart, then you must look the part."
He gives you a red hat and a fake mustache.
To Gai, he hands a similar hat but in green, a mustache is also with it.
To Hina, a small crown made of gold painted cardboard.
And to Erica, he hands a hat that looks like the top of a mushroom.

"Why do I get to be a mushroom?" She asks as she puts the hat ontop of her current one.
"We had no crowns left, sorry." The gorrillaman answers her with a shrug.

Gai slaps his had and mustache onto his helmet, Hina dons her crown.

You attach the silly mustache on your face and take off your bunny ears to make room for the red hat with an 'M' on it.

You call Naru over.
"Hay, take care of these for me, will you?" you tell her as you put the bunny-ears on top of her short brown hair.

>>18799476
>you tell her as you put the bunny-ears on top of her short brown hair.

FFFFFFFFFF-


GODDAMNIT LG

>>18799476
Here comes the shitstorm

>>18799476
ohfuckwhy
>Director's face when

>>18799476
Suddenly this pic >>18798181
became really fucking related.

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

>>18799476
HAT'd.

3..2..1..

>character isoleli
Yes, captcha, she may indeed be a new character.

>>18799476
>you put the bunny-ears on top of her short brown hair
BUENO

>>18799476
Oh hell.

>>18799476
I hope Erica's hat is the toadette hat.

Is LG going for the double troll i wonder?

You know, the one where the people against create a shitstorm... Then he informs us that the ears were simulated and therefore don't work for hatting?

>>18799574
Quite likely

She's taken aback by this.
A faint blush forms on her face as she reaches up to touch the fluffy ears on her head.
"..."
"Naru?" you ask
"....." She continues to feel the ears
"Naru, are you okay?" you ask again.
"... Ah yes. Yes I am My Lord."
She answers you, her hand darting away form the ears on her head quickly.

"Okay then.. You and the Ninjas follow us as fast as you can."
"Yes My lord, I will follow you wherever you wish to go." she answers before she calls the ninjas together.

You pull the starter cord on the engine.

>>18799630
>I will follow you wherever you wish to go
HERE COMES THE REVERSE DOUBLE UNTROLL GUYS

>>18799630
>"Yes My lord, I will follow you wherever you wish to go."

Goddamn.

>>18799630
...is that maid holding an unwrapped condom and a small bottle of oil?

This may or may not be appropriate.

>saturday
>skip sleeping in
>MSQ
>Naru got hat on
>it's like pokemon but with hats.

righto, i can follow AC quest aswell now, best weekend this month.

>>18799630
>"Yes My lord, I will follow you wherever you wish to go."

HERE WE GO

The four of you gun the engines, and head into a tunnel to the west of the large cavern.

The road is lit only by the single beam of your flashlight as you take the lead.
The high-pitched whirr of your engines, combined with the smell of gasoline setting your blood on fire.
You remember this. You've done this once before.

OH MY GOD LG.

WE SPENT LIKE THE ENTIRE THREAD IN A TREMENDOUS DEBATE, AND YOU JUST THROW IT ALL OUT THE WINDOW WITH TYPICAL MALE-LEAD CARELESSNESS.

THIS IS WHY I LOVE YOU.

I'm still mad, though.

Whelp.

We did it again.

Erica is the dom, Ursula is the sub, Hina is the demure, Perrine is the Tsundere. What with Naru be?

>>18799752
Here comes the PTSD.

PTSD is one of the best parts of this quest.

>>18799824
We could probably use a Tsukkomi.

>>18799824
The second sub

>>18799752
You were 13 at the time, and your father had gotten into betting on illegal street races.
After being unable to pay for most of his losses, he volunteered you to race for the people he owed money to.

You were given a beat-down, patched-up old Mitsubishi.
Now, one normally wouldn't trust a 13 year old behind the wheel, and for good reason too.
As that race began, you managed to slog on through the curves and corners of that mountain pass, actually being able to pass one of the competitors in a particularly lucky bend.

But of course, being 13 years old, and with no experience behind the wheel, you made a mistake.
Your car plowed into the side of a black Nissan being driven by the son of one of the "organizers" of the event, taking both of you out of the race.

To appease the owners of that car, your father, and the people he had you drive for, gave you up as an indentured servant to that family.

rolled 24 = 24

>>18799852
A what?

>>18799852
I'm not familiar with this word, elaborate?

>>18799879
Goddamn. Our childhood.

Right in the emotions.

rolled 65 = 65

>>18799882
>>18799880

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/UsefulNotes/BokeAndTsukkomiRoutine

Basically, straight man and wise guy. Boke is the wise guy, Tsukkomi is the straight man.

>>18799882
Japanese comedy double act, the duo consists of the Tsukkomi and Boke. The straight man and the funny man. The Boke says something stupid, misinterpretable or forgetful, and the Tsukkomi corrects them by smacking them on the head with a fan.

YOu were sent to work helping out in a garage those people kept in a nondescript warehouse somewhere near the docks.
For months you helped out by cleaning the cars and fetching tools for the mechanics.
For those months, you and the boss' son grew to be fast friends.

After a particularly great win on his part, he let you behind the wheel of his car and gave you some pointers.

These driving lessons continued for weeks after every race he was in, and soon you grew better and better.
You became so good in-fact that it actually got the boss' attention.

One night, while you were helping out prepare for another race, the boss approached you.
"Hey, how would you like to drive for us?" he asked you.
"You of course jumped at the opportunity and were given a red Lancer to race in.
You and the boss' son soon dominated the illegal racing circuit in that prefecture.

It was a great life, one of machinery and victory.
But it was not to last.

One day, while you were out on an errand to pickup a shipment of oil for the garage, it all ended.
You came back to a burnt warehouse.
The cars, and the barracks all aflame.
None of the mechanics, drivers, all of your friends were to be found.

When you asked the firefighter on-scene what happened, all he answered was,
"Another gang connected arson it seems. Been having a lot of these the past few months."

You walked home that day, with nothing but the keys to the car you drove, and the echoes of its engine in your mind.

>>18799882
>>18799880
one that reacts to bad jokes.

A 'straight man' in western comedy

>>18799959
I still don't understand how we are as well adjusted as we are.

Most people would of been a wreck after six months of Hayate's life

>>18799959
EVERYTHING WE LOVE LEAVES US.

Goddamn, it's a good thing we're in the meta and not our evil home universe.

rolled 68 = 68

>>18799903
Ah, gotcha.

>>18799983
He has an amazing mental fortitude.

rolled 88 = 88

>>18799995
too right, mate.

>>18799959
We need to buy a red lancer.
Something that collapses into a small package, or something like a capsule corp thing

>>18800017
I agree.

We've already got a bitchin' house, now we need a pimpin' car.

And we can buy Erica a pimp suit because you know she's running this shit. Also she'd look damn fine in a pimp suit.

>>18800035
Purple suit, hat with the big feather and zebra striped band, fur coat and a golden cane? I like this idea

rolled 25 = 25

>>18800035
We still need to get her into that suit we bought on our date.

As you reminisc about days gone by, the miles of tunnel you covered grew.
On the distance, you see a faint light and the sound of another engine.
You have your man.

You floor it, ekking out as much speed out of the little vehicle as you could.
In the distance, the hooded man turns his head and you see the reflection of your light on a pair of glasses.
It's M, there's no doubt about that now.

Erica pulls up alongside you and readies her gun.
You will your engine for a just a little more speed.

**ROLL FOR CATCHING UP TO HIM**

rolled 45 = 45

>>18800061
This is going to end in flaming wreckage.

rolled 46 = 46

>>18800061
HELLO WALL HOW ARE YOU TODAY

rolled 28 = 28

>>18800061
Go speed racer!

rolled 58 = 58

>>18800061
Drivan

rolled 2 = 2

apparently we can't go any faster... so rolling for M to crash

rolled 2 = 2

>>18800061
Even if we blow our engine if we cause him to crash as well it will be worth it

rolled 54 = 54

>>18800061
/tg/ dice like racecars, right?

rolled 96 = 96

>>18800061
No whammy, no whammy

rolled 41 = 41

>>18800061

Full Hot Blood mode, activate.

I'VE GOT THIS BURNING LIKE MY VEINS ARE FILLED WITH NOTHING BUT GASOLINE

AND WITH A SPARK IT'S GONNA BE THE BIGGEST FIRE YOU'VE EVER SEEN

CUT ME DOWN OR LET ME RUN, EITHER WAY IT'S ALL GONNA BURN

THE ONLY WAY THAT THEY'LL EVER LEARN.

>>18800093
>>18800107
>two twos
aaaaaaaaaa

>>18800085
>>18800079
>>18800078
>DAT MEDIOCRITY

You feel your vehicle shake and vibrate as you try and will it to go faster.
He's not getting ahead of you, but you aren't catching up.
A fork in the road,. the left hand side is caved in.
You twist the wheel right, and everyone follows in a chorus of buzzing engines and squealing wheels.

"She canna handle it nomore capn'!" Erica yells in a ver fake scottish accent from behind you, her engine letting out billowing clouds of smoke.

[ ]have erica shoot him
[ ]continue as you are
[ ]SHAKE AND BAKE

>>18800093
>>18800107
What the fuck, /tg/ dice.

rolled 44 = 44

>>18798141
>implying it's implications
>implying it hasn't been canoned, fired, landed and splattered already

>>18800149
Shake and Bake!

>>18800149
>dat filename
STOP BAITING US LG. YOU KNOW WE CAN'T TAKE IT.

[x]SHAKE AND BAKE

>>18800149
>Never leave her behind.jpg
oh god LG what are you doiiiing
[x]SHAKE AND BAKE, BABY!

rolled 71 = 71

>>18800149
He's getting away, shoot him!

>>18800149
[x]have erica shoot him
Shoot him now while she still has a shot!

>>18800149
SHAKE AND BAKE.

rolled 59 = 59

DO A 180, LOCK FRONT BUMPERS WITH ERICA, THEN DO ANOTHER 180 AND PROPEL HER CART FOR HER WHILE SHE TAKES THE SHOT

TIME TO NUT UP, LET'S DO THIS SHIT MOTHERFUCKERS

>>18800149
>filename
>troll throttle is stuck at full

Have Erica shoot his tires out. Ace of Aces should be able to handle that no trouble.

>>18800246


With rubber bullets?

>Shake and bake
"GUYS! GET BEHIND ME, TIEM FOR SOME SHAKE AND BAKE!" You tell your team.
They position thier carts behind you, bumper touching bumper as they drove.

In a single file, each car pushed the one infront of it.
With the airresistance reduced by having a smaller front profile, the combined horespower of the 4 small engines are enough to push you right alongside him.

"NO! YOU ARE NOT TAKING ME BACK ALIVE!" M says as he digs for something in the basket attached infront of his steering collumn.

He pulls out an over-sized banana peel and throws it.

**ROLL FOR EVASION**

rolled 63 = 63

>>18800149
I have no idea what it is, but let's [x]SHAKE AND BAKE

rolled 80 = 80

>>18800275
Now for an actually relevant roll!

>watch, as it fucks us all hard.

rolled 20 = 20

>>18800275
>evasion
nonono just drive straight or you'll spinnnnnnn

>>18800288
Nah bro, you just had to drift you were a-ok

rolled 76 = 76

>>18800298
Let me try that again

>>18800305
>>18800286
You swerve to avoid the comic weapon, Erica and Hina do the same.
Gai, unfortunately, plows straight into it and losses control.

His cart ends up as a feiry fireball against the wall.
'GO ON! I'll follow on foot.' He mentillates as you begun to ease up on the throttle.

You jam your foot into the pedal once more.

WIth her cart stabilized in between your's and Hina's, Erica lines up a shot...

*ROLL FOR SHOOTING*

rolled 67 = 67

>>18800355
Come on, Erica!

rolled 55 = 55

>>18800355
ACE OF ACES
DO YOU HAVE ENOUGH BULLETS?

rolled 71 = 71

>>18800355
Hey, what's that over there?

rolled 93 = 93

>>18800355
Pew pew pew.

rolled 48 = 48

>>18800355
Ace of Aces. She got this

rolled 30 = 30

>>18800355
shoot 'em up Erica

>mfw bunny ears
LG you so funnay

rolled 80 = 80

>>18800355
...we're between Erica and her target.
Between Teamkills McChaingunny and the target. Brilliant!

rolled 5 = 5

>>18800388
crazy like a fox we are.

Lookout. Hey, Lookout.
Stop rolling.

>>18800366
Erica's gun barks fury into the air, a barrage of rubber bullets flinging themselves at M.

His heavy cloak absorbs much of the impact but they still make him panick and slow down a little.
You need to take him down now.

Taking your brick out of the holster, you use it to wedge the accelerator on your cart in place.
You stand up on your seat and prepare to leap.

*ROLL FOR ACTION MOVIE CAR TO CAR JUMPAN*

rolled 21 = 21

>>18800405
WE GOT THIS.

rolled 34 = 34

>>18800405
>>18800401
make me.

rolled 70 = 70

>>18800405
We were a stunt double for a movie once, we broke both our legs and our collarbone, they never paid workers comp.

rolled 97 = 97

>>18800405
We are the spider-butler.

rolled 76 = 76

>>18800405
Oh god we're going to get a facefull of pavement.

rolled 12 = 12

>>18800423

rolled 58 = 58

>>18800405
YOU'RE NICKED, CHUMMY

rolled 51 = 51

>>18800434
gonna have to do better than that.

rolled 99 = 99

>>18800478

rolled 58 = 58

>>18800484
Not bad.

rolled 56 = 56

>>18800484
Better, indeed.

>>18800484
alright, you've convinced me. ill leave the dice alone for the rest of tonight.

rolled 38 = 38

>>18800499
But... but... without low rolls how will we get our daily dose of HUE?!

>>18800514
Udz can cover for me, I'm sure.

>>18800428
As you lepts across the space between you, a song played in your head
"Butler-man, Butler-man. Does whatever a butler can."

You land right on top of him.
"FUCK YOU!" He begins to throw wild punches as he struggles to keep the vehicle in control.
You fight back. Your fists bust up his glasses and messes up his hood.
As the cloth covering his head falls away, it reveals a shaven head and a weird tattoo on his skull.
You continue pummeling him into submission.

He losses consciousness and control of the cart.
You grab the wheel and ease it to stopping by grinding it against a wall.

Erica and Hina pull up alongside you, your unmanned cart crashing and overturning a few meters ahead.

M CAPTURED.
WAT DO NAO OH MASTER BUTLERS?

rolled 85 = 85

>>18800535
Probably. Unless I'm distracted at the moment.

>>18800536
Well, we're touching him, right? I sort of expected him to disappear, simulating him being pulled back to the Bureau.

Oh well. If we've still got him, get him tied up.
Search him for anything useful.
And then let Erica interrogate him for information regarding the other two rogues.

>>18800536
Wait. Shaved heads, red robes, weird tattoos. This might be a stretch, but…

>>18800536
Celebratory makeouts with Hina while Erica secures the prisoner.

>>18800536
inspect that tattoo. compliment erica for good shootan. Ask Hina to retrieve Demon Slayer. Let Gai know we got M, have him regroup with the followers.

I'm feeling too good tonight to channel the necessary bad feels to get the dice to obey me tonight.

rolled 55 = 55

>>18800569
M's robe was black.

>>18800536
Q&A time. Send the ninj-ers back with the carts?

Examine the prisoner, and report in with The Dude.

Im betting the reason he didnt disappear is so we can examine him.
Also take his cloak

>>18800536
Loot his shit, tie him up, and start looking for a way back to wherever is safe.

hi-fives all around.

Tie him up, take his device.

Have Kraus mind-rape it for information.

>>18800645
>Have Kraus mind-rape it for information.
Oh, good point!
If he has his Device with him, then it would have recorded everything said between M and the other two.

>Inspect the tattoo
You look at the tattoo, Its a weird symbol like two tapeworms fighting each other in a circle.
You also take his robe off and leave him in the jeans and non-descript black shirt he was wearing underneath it.

After rooting through his pockets, you find a couple thousand in chips and a card for a shop in the red-light district.
[Hapsiel's Happiness Hovel] it said in bold purple letters.
On the back was a small map showing it's location.

The Dude contact's you as you put the card away.
'So, you caught one huh? Good work. Well take care of him now and give you what information we can squeeze out of him later.'
The prisoner disappears from where he lay.
'You now have 39 hours left. Good luck.'
The connection ends.

WAT DO NAO OH MASTER BUTLERS?
[ ]bring carts back
[ ]wait for Naru and Ninjas

>>18800645
Is his device still working for him though? They might have some sort of programming so they won't betray the bureau which is how we found out about this situation

>>18800715
[X]wait for Naru and Ninjas

Lounge among the smoldering wrecks looking suave as all hell.

>>18800715
[x]wait for Naru and the Ninjas (which sounds like the name for a shitty high school weaboo band)

>>18800715
Start hauling the carts. Presumably we'll meet up with Naru on the way.

rolled 34 = 34

>>18800715
Wait, then return the carts

>>18800715
[x]wait for Naru and Ninjas
We'll task some of the Ninjas to take the carts back, and the rest of us will go in the direction that M was going. Presumably, that's where we can find the other two.

>>18800730
as suave as only post-apocalypse can be.

>>18800715
Get Gai to collect our minions, we take the carts back and then join up to check out that shop

>>18800718
definitely something worth asking about either next time we talk to the Dude or when the exercise is over.

>wait

You lounge around waiting for the others to arrive, your arms around Hina and Erica.

A few moments later, Gai followed by the pthers walk into view.
"How did it go?" He asks you
"We got him. He also left a clue." You say as you show him the card.
"The red-light district again... It seems fate has been pushing us towards that place all this time."
"Indeed." you answer.

"My lord, Are you alright?" Naru comes running up to you with Bob the shirt-ninja beside her.
"Yeah, I'm good." you answer her as you rip off the silly mustache and hat.
"My lord," She says as she moves to take off the bunny ears. "I kept it safe for you."
"Thanks." you tell her as you pat them firmly onto her head. "You keep them on for now, jsut to make sure they stay safe."
"... Yes My Lord." she answers with a bow.

You tell bob to get Four of his ninjas and to drive the remaining carts back to the gorillaman.

They comply and you are now left with your team of four, Naru, and a pair of ninjas.

WAT DO OH MASTER BUTLERS?
[ ]head back to the ramen-gumi HQ
[ ]go towards where M was headed
[ ]Investigate that large hole in the wall.

>>18800854
[x]go towards where M was headed
That hole in the wall is tempting, but we've got a job to do, and only 39 hours left to do it in.

>>18800854
. . . huge hole?
Might as well at least take a look inside. If there's nothing interesting, we'll go to where M was heading.

>>18800854
>you can keep them for now

WHY LG

[x]go towards where M was headed
Get the fuck out of these furry infested sewers.

>you pat them firmly onto her head.
>You keep them on for now

>>18800854
[X]Investigate that large hole in the wall.

Huge holes must always be investigated and it hopefully won't take that much time out of our schedule.

>>18800854
>hole
wait what
[x]hole
J-J-JAM our flashlights in.

rolled 3 = 3

>>18800854
>[ ]Investigate that large hole in the wall
Wait, what hole?

>>18800854
[x]investigate that large hole in the wall.
Naru constantly saying 'My lord' makes her sound like Visas Marr in my head. which is totally okay with me.

>>18800899
>WhatthefuckamIlookingat.jpg
I see that you have been lurking TWQ, Fritz.

>>18800854
[x]hole

>investigate hole

Near where your cart overturned, there's a large hole in the wall that opens up into a roughly hewn passage into the rock.
Your group of 7 enter and investigate it.

After five minutes, the exit seemed so far away, the tunnel continued on and gradually began getting tighter.

You push on.
After five more minutes, the tunnel was so small that you were forced to crawl on your hands and knees to move forwards.

The claustrophobic passage eventually opened up and you, being in the lead poked your head into the cavern.

**ROLLEM**

>>18800899
>large tits
NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOOOOOPE

>>18800854
Check the hole then move on to where M was headed

Hopefully we can catch R and J

We still need to run into the Ouendan and EBA teams

rolled 89 = 89

>>18800954
DRR DRR DRR

rolled 75 = 75

>>18800954
What the Hell now?

rolled 100 = 100

>>18800954
Director Yuki's private lounge and her wondering how the fuck we got in there.

rolled 99 = 99

>>18800954
DRRR DRRRR DRRR

>>18800972
her face when

rolled 65 = 65

>>18800954
Welp

>>18800899
That is bloody ridiculous.

>>18800976
>>18800963
DRRRRRRRmind

And so we unintentionally free/enslave another construct.

Ethics? Who needs ethics when you have crazy humor?

rolled 20 = 20

>>18800963
>>18800972
>>18800976
I guess the dice like the gaping hole.

>>18800997
Dice always like gaping holes

>>18800963
>>18800972
>>18800976
wat
WAAAAAAAAAAAAT

>>18800972
>>18800976
Awww yeah.

Sorry didn't get the whole pic.
Gentleman behold!
BTW dem nips.

and I think I know why LG is pushing Naru forward. so that when she does follow us out of the simulation, Perrine will have to get pushed to the back in terms of stuff that must be taken care of immediately, and the pregnancy trolling can go on for another week at least.

>>18801061
>dose hentai-sized tits.
Nope.

>>18801002
I'm not sure I want to know how you learned that.

rolled 4 = 4

>>18801061
Aughnasdflns. NOPE.

Just doesn't look right.

>>18801061
I don't fuck anything with tits bigger than its head.

>>18801070
I know, Perrine smiling like that is just wrong

>>18800976
>>18800972
You find yourself looking into a room dominated by a tower built from various computers and screens.
Music is blaring from the stack of technology, and on the other side of it, you see some movement.

You cautiously crane your neck to see just what exactly it was.
You spot a very attractive girl playing alone on one of those arcade dance machines.
She's wearing a hat and blazer similar to the Director's.
She was also not wearing any pants.
No, from this very attractive girl's very exposed crotch swung a very unattractive penis.
A slip of your foot causes a rock to fall towards the floor.
The dancer hears this and yells out in a very masculine voice that did not fit that very feminine face.
"WHO'S THERE! SHOW YOURSELF!"
The dancer looks around and finally spots you peering out of the hole.
"KYAAAAAH!" The dancer exclaims in a very feminine voice, coupled with a very strong arm that threw a very solid keyboard.

You hurriedly backed out of there.
"What did you see?" Erica asks as you tell your team to get out of the tunnel and head back.
"Something I should not have." You tell her simply.

>>18801088
Hahahahahaha oh LG you troll you.

rolled 16 = 16

>>18801088
bwahahaha

>>18801088
Director is a dickgirl?

Goddammit, I hope her clone isn't as well. Although that could mean some crazy bedroom hijinks.

>>18801064
>prolong pregnancy trolling

Just... please, no. I want to hold Perrine and tell her it'll be fine and that we'll be there for her.

I still remember when she was listening outside HIna's door the whole night because she didn't know we'd teleported out, and she was crying her head off because she was so afraid.

>>18801088
What the fuck?

I guess this would normally have resulted in a Bad End and a Reload, but the 100 basically saved us from using up another reload bead.

>>18801110
Yeah, hopefully that was just a Yuki Cosplayer, although if it was the real Yuki, we may have a problem.

rolled 100 = 100

>>18801117
I seriously doubt the actual Director Nagato would be in the Infinicon sim.

>>18801110
> I want to hold Perrine and tell her it'll be fine and that we'll be there for her.
God, yes.

And she was in her own room, right next to Hina's. The dorms have terrible sound proofing. As in, there is none.

>>18801132
UDZ
GODDAMNIT
STOP WASTING ROLLS

rolled 84 = 84

>>18801148
No.

>>18801132
>rolls a 100 on nothing.
ISHIGGYDIGGITY

>>18801110
>>18801117
All it mentioned was
Pretty girl, hat and blazer like yuki's and DDR machine
I think it's safe to say not the director
And the manly voice and giant dong of course

rolled 66 = 66

>>18801154
ALL THE GODDAMN TIME

>>18801152
Jesus dude what did you do to have the dice gods love you like this?

>>18801110
some froggy comforting would be nice.
but seriously, you don't expect LG to not wring out every delicious tear and ounce of buttdevastation that he can from this scenario, do you?

>>18801160
He sucked their dicks.

>>18801088

>this entire post

I've seen some shit, LG.
At least, that's what I thought.

You arrive back at the main tunnel, your clothes now covered in dirt and grime from crawling.

You continue on the path that M was driving down earlier.

---------------------------------------

After a couple more kilometers of walking down the wide, empty tunnel, you see a light in the distance.
It's daylight, and the sound of flowing water beckons you.

You double your pace and finally get to the exit.
--------------------------------------------------------

You find yourselves at the bank aof a small river cutting through a row of tall buildings on either side.
The signboards and window displays you can see clue you in on your location.
You have arrived at the Red-light Hentai district.


WAT DO OH MASTER BUTLERS?

>>18801116
It was supposed to be a furry pit.
The hundred did save you.

>>18801132

DICE GODS HAVE SPOKEN

We hold Perrine and tell her it'll be fine and that we'll be there for her.

>>18801172
Go to the location on the card.

>>18801172
Disguise the Women as Men.

Only then shall we proceed.

rolled 37 = 37

>>18801172
Pray tell, how many scenarios have we completely fucked up with 100s?
I can only count Hina sexing, T-rex taming, and this.

Also, rolling for Slaneesh, Billy, and Frank to be waiting for us.

>>18801172
Get to the Happiness Hotel. It's our lead on what he was doing, we might find something there. Stick together and don't stare too long at the abyss.

>>18801172
get Erica and Hina back under their cloaks, then head for the Hapsiel's Happiness Hovel

>>18801172
>WAT DO
Go to Hapsiel's Happiness Hovel.

>It was supposed to be a furry pit.
>The hundred did save you.
Also, you dumb shits, we're running out of reloads and the RNG is a fucking piece of shit that gets seeded with low rolls, and you intentionally choose something that will get us Bad Ended?

>>18801190
>>18801172

Also, ask Naru if she recognises the freaky symbol.

Also:
>>18800715
>Hapsiel's
That fucker
WE ARE FUCKED

>>18801199

wait, HAPSIEL?!

oh god, OH GOD NO!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xB9AhDyCo9E

>>18801213
I'm waiting for you. . .

>>18801222

What the fuck.

What the fucking fuck.

>>18801222
HOLYFUCKINGSHITBADGERCUNTDICKBAGS BATMAN!
He's scarier than frank!

>>18800715
. . . why the fuck does he have an SOS brigade tattoo?

>>18801297
We should ask Naru about that, maybe there's an SOS Brigade somewhere in Infinicon.
It's more likely than not.

>>18801297
Because our next BBEG is a rogue Haruhi, obviously. She's been taking agents and brainwashing them to start a war and destroy the Director, Kyon and the IDPKB. Makes sense.

>>18801297
Because Haruhi is the legitimate god of the multiverse, was chained by the Director to prevent her from destabilizing things, and we're now going to be seeing a lot of BAD WOLF style messages as she subconsciously tries to contact us on her golden throne.

Or Haruhism has a following at Infinicon.

To the Hovel!

Here is hoping our 1s roll not on their own.

>>18801318
>Or Haruhism has a following at Infinicon.
Oh come on, now you're just being silly.

rolled 88 = 88

>>18801327
What do you mean?

You quickly get the girls under thier coats, Naru donning the one you took off M.
After hiding your larger weapons and making sure to leave signs for the other ninja following you, you head up to street level.

"No eye contact." Naru tells your group in a whisper.
"No sudden movements."

You walk along in the sunlit street, in between signs advertising Octopus-maid cafes and Dickgirl Massages.
You make sure to stay clear of any side alleys and shadow covered areas, knowing full-well the depravity that goes on in them.


You follow the map and head towards Hapsiel's Happiness Hovel.
-----------------------------------------

You find the building you were searching for.
Its a squat structure painted in hideous shades of purple and pink.
All the windows have been covered with purple pare with little hearts cut out of them.
Through the cut-outs, you can only see pink throbbing lights inside.

"I.. Don't like this." Hina says as she tugs at your sleeve.

WAT DO OH MASTER BUTLERS?
[ ]scout it out
[ ]head on in

>>18801343
worth a shot, at least i know my dice are good tonight.

>>18801348
Scout it out, never enter enemy territory without proper recon.

rolled 1 = 1

>>18801343
he means this.

rolled 5 = 5

>>18801348
"Neither do I."
[x]Scout it out

>>18801348
[ ]scout it out
Why the fuck not

>>18801341
Well, to be fair, yes, yes I am being silly. Considering how important Yuki is, I'd be surprised if Haruhi wasn't important.

I mean, she is one of the most powerful characters in fiction on account of being, you know, explicitly omnipotent.

And if she ever became fully aware of her powers, I suppose it's not completely unreasonable for her to be lobotomized and imprisoned Emperor style.

rolled 75 = 75

>>18801356
In this case, "proper recon" is 10 kilos of high explosives.

Pity we haven't got any.

>>18801348
head in. we stand out, we can't waste any more time before the other two agents get farther from us.

>>18801359
Dem o's

>>18801348
[x] scout
Perhaps send a few ninjas in? Hopefully their SAN checks are in order.

rolled 6 = 6

>>18801348
[x]Head on in

Men, we fight the good fight. We will storm their hotels, raid their cafes, and cleanse this area of its sins. To do this, we need bravery, not just any bravery, we need pure, concentrated, unrivaled, courage. With that courage, we will have the power to defeat all the stand before us! Onwards men! Hyaa!

Sometime when we are free we gotta see if we can have this simulation done again for fun with the use of majaik.

>>18801382
saying that, in the middle of the hentai district, sounds like an Oglaf comic.

>>18801368
10 kilos? I'd firebomb the entire city to hell.

>>18801396
Let's see if you still think like that after the hovel.

>>18801415
Im basically saying purge it with fire, imagine what Erica could do to the district.

>>18801410
I meant 10 kilos for the one shop we're about to enter. We'd need to hire the RAF to re-enact the bombing of Dresden if we wanted this city properly cleansed.

rolled 71 = 71

>>18801431
Just ask Dresden to do what he did with the Red Court....

>>18801449
quiet. LG probably isn't anywhere near Changes yet.

>>18801348
[x]scout it out
Let's not rush in where angels fear to tread.

>>18801449
I... I honestly can't tell if you made a name-based pun, or mistook Dresden to mean the fictional wizard.

Also, [X] Scout it out.

>>18801449
fuck you for reminding me that it exists.
At least there's still, what, two books a year for the next 5 or so years...

rolled 72 = 72

>>18801486
Uh, neither, I was just saying that instead of hiring RAF and doing all that waste of time, Dresden could do it in much shorter time and much neater. I guess.

. . . .
The building was on fire when he got there.

>>18801486
Fun fact, Butcher named Dresden after the bombings.

Notice how Harry likes to use fire spells? Yeah, not a coincidence.

>>18801489
its more like one book a year for 8 years and then the 3 part finale. no idea how long that will take him to write.

>>18801506
Actually it's likely that there'll be more than 20 books before the Apocalyptic Finale (Hell's Bells, Empty Night, Stars and Stones) because Butcher initially planned to have Ghost Stories' events in 10th book

>scout it.

Your group hangs back as you send Bob and the other ninja inside.
For cover, you head into the McBukkake across the street.

Your group sat on a table facing the street, observing the Hovel.

Around you sat people in varying dress (and undress) enjoying fries and burgers smothered in a sticky looking white fluid.
You shudder at the thought of what that could be.
'SHOULD I TELL YOU?' Kraus asks you mentally
'No. Please no. I'll give you a night out with the dolls and Frau if you don;t, please.' you beg him.
'PUSSY.' he says as he shuts up.

Across the street, Bob and his companion run out of the building screaming.

WAT DO OH MASTER BUTLERS?

>>18801506
Nah, more like 1 book a year for 8 years, a 3 part finale, and die after the second book.

>>18801519
Look at the ninjas with pity. Steel our will and enter. Tell the rest of the group that I can't ask you to come with me, it's too dangerous. I know of these horrors and thus I can't make any one enter this place if not of their free will.

>>18801519
Intercept Bob, find out what happened.
We may need to go in with just Gai for this.

>>18801519
Crap. How do you deal with people with catastrophic failures on their SAN checks?

>>18801536
. . . um
> catastrophic failures on their SAN check
Normal day for us?

>>18801519
>McBukkake
Dear god.

Get Bob, ask him what happened. Proceed inside with Gai, the rest stay on the street to see if anyone else comes out

>>18801536
For us, it's our entire life up to this point. For poor civilians a security blanket, someone telling them it's alright and about a 50/50 mix of alcohol and cocoa.

>>18801532
>>18801533
Splitting the party in the middle of the Red Light district? Are you insane?

>>18801518
>more than 20 case files.
Even better!
>>18801536
depends on what they're armed with.
when the hacker fails a san check, you can let him be.
when the marksman with the big rifle fails a san check, you hide until he's feeling better.
>>18801519
let the ninjas run. enter the happiness hovel like the unflappable butler we are.

>>18801519
Get Bob, question him.
If he's running too fast, leave him and just waltz in.
We stared down the Necronomicon. Twice. How bad could it be?

>>18801542
>>18801551
Normal day for us /tg/ goers, or normal day for Hayate?
I doubt it's the second one, considering his reaction at the 'white sauce'

We assist our ninjas.

They failed their san check, let's butler them back a few points.

>>18801519
It's just sugar glaze, they have to keep their blood sugar up so they coat their food in it... Right? Right?

>>18801568
It's not the reaction at the white sauce. It's the fact that if he learns too much, he'll go into a PTSD flashback of that time where our Father dressed us as a girl and sold us to a Sex Shop in Taiwan.

rolled 21 = 21

>>18801573
Sure, let's go with that.

>>18801565
>twice
Because the first time IT KILLED US.

>>18801582
Technically 3 times, and the second time it killed us.

>>18801568
Wait does anybody here have any sanity left?

rolled 55 = 55

>>18801582
If you're counting that one, it's three times.

>>18801579
>sold to crossdress and be an idol
>sold to racers
>sold to the yakuza
>now this
>plenty of things I don't know about

Well... I feel bad for our poor PC...

rolled 67 = 67

>>18801592
It's okay, that's natural.

>>18801592
It seems with all of the shit we've been through san checks should be either - or + 20.

>>18801592
You're forgetting the how he learned to play the violin, or where his skill with drinks comes from, or that time with the fat Greek.

>>18801609
I'm grouping that with 'things I don't know'

>>18801609
or when we broke knife-kun.

>>18801348
>>18800854
>>18800149
>>18800061
>>18799630

>Those pictures

Naru's a Trap, isn't he?

>Get report from bob.
>Head inside after.

You quickly get up off your seat and rush outside, the rest of the team hot on your heels.
"Bob! what happened?" You ask as you catch up to him.
"It was horrible boss... The muscles... The lips... The pelvic thrusts..." He breaks down in treats.
"Get a grip on yourself man!" Erica tells him.
"I'm.. I'm sorry ma'am." he says as he gets back up and tries to get himself together.
"Boss, I beg you. Don't go in there. Just.. Don't!"

"I'm sorry Bob, But I must." You tell him with a pat on his shoulder.
"Girls. You and the ninjas stay here outside and cover us. Watch anyone that gets in or out of the building." You tell them.
"But.. My lord." Naru begins to object.
"No buts. I need you to be where I need you. And right now I need you to stay here on the street."
"Yes My Lord. But if you ever put yourself in danger.. I.. "
"Don't worry. Danger is my middle name." You tell her with a smile.
"Shut it teacakes, everyone knows your middle name is Susan." Erica says from inside her hood.
"Leave the street to us." Hina tells you with a nod.

You and Gai steel yourselves and head on in.

*gimme a roll*

rolled 34 = 34

>>18801663
I've faced worse!

rolled 14 = 14

>>18801663
Time for Stoic Gai and Unflappable Hayate to go on an adventure.

rolled 46 = 46

>>18801663
Welp, we're fucked.

rolled 61 = 61

>>18801663
This is where Shirou shows up, right?

rolled 67 = 67

>>18801663
We were all insane to begin with...

rolled 97 = 97

>>18801663
not gettin raped today!

rolled 70 = 70

>>18801663
My mind is made of steel, not your pathetic fleshmeats.

>>18801656
But she's a female.

>>18801702
Naru, yes. Yukimura, however...

>>18801702
Is she?

rolled 13 = 13

>>18801656
I'm not really seeing it, but even if she is, what's the problem?

>>18801702
That's never actually been confirmed beyond his/her immediate appearance.

Even flat chest is inconclusive. We'd need to get a look at his/her naughty-bits to be completely certain.

rolled 49 = 49

>>18801717
Besides, she's a construct anyway. We could probably change that.

>>18801628
>I'm grouping that with 'things I don't know'
Then you must read the archives.

>>18801689
I think we are unflappable

You and Gai push open the doors and head on in.
Pink doors flank the purple painted hallway and the bright pink shag carpet.
From behind each door you hear muffled sounds that you would rather not listen to.

At the end of the hallway, a concierge's desk is set-up.
Behind it stoop a tall, muscle-bound creature.
"Oh my, More guests!" It says as it prances out from behind the desk, the six fake wings on its back bouncing with each step.
"I just looooove cute boys like you." It says as it approaches you, the oiled muscles and tight clothing glowing horribly under the pink neon lights in the hall.
"What can I do to you this day?" It asks, still taking menacingly slow steps towards your pair.

WAT DO OH MASTER BUTLERS?

>>18801712
Yukimura was confirmed for girl in the LNs
dat bathing scene

Welp im out, night all try not to get us raped to death or killed.

>>18801768
Remain unflapped.

"We're here about this man, and his associates. What can you tell us about them?"
Show the picture of M, R, and K.

>>18801768
Indeed she was. Also, shove the picture of our target in his face.

>>18801768
We have been sent to find these people.
>hold up pictures and Gai's Enforcer Badge
We have been led to believe they have been here recently. Any help would be appreciated.

>>18801768
We are looking for these two men, give pictures of the remaining rogue agents. Have you seen either of them?

>>18801768
Unflappable mode on.

Pull out the pictures of the agents, including M, and ask if he's seen any of them and what they did at his establishment.

>>18801773
As am I.

Good luck, gents.

>>18801768
Adopt poker face of the century.

"Sorry to disappoint you, but this visit is for business." Present pictures. "We are looking for these people. At least one of them passed by here. Where are they now?"

>>18801768
>>18801787

maybe staying focused and confident will throw him off.

>>18801811
Or maybe (Likely) he's into strong silent types that don't show their emotions. In which case we are many kinds of fucked.

>>18801817
We got a 97 here and 100 ignored before and he is the most flamboyantly gay combination of billy and slaanesh possible

He won't be into stoics

>>18801817

if that is the case he might try to break through our calm using more subtle(yeah right) methods, my theory is that if we keep holding him off while we seriousbuisness.png him for any information about the other agents, he'll eventually beg us for some lovin.

>who am i kidding we are boned no matter what.

This reminded me of something (For some reason). What's going on with Gai and Maggie? How are they doing?

You remain the calm and unflappable butler that you are. Gai flashes his ICE badge.
"We're here for business." You tell him as you fish out the pictures of the agents. "Have you seen these men, and do you know where they might be right now?"

"Ohhh you're a serious one arent you?" he takes the pictures from you, his fingers lingering on your hand.
"I can't say that I have.... Besides, the pleasures and pains of my customers are always CON-FI-DEN-TIAL. he says with a wink.

"You are obstructing an official investigation..." Gai speaks up.
"Ohohoho, speaking of investigations. How I'd love to investigate just what's under that helmet and spandex..." he wraps himself around Gai, your stoic teammate taking it in stride.
"How about it? One round with me and I'll tell you everything you know." It said slowly.
"How about You tell us what you know and I don't break the bones in your arm." Gai says as he pries the creature off him.
"Ohhhh, you know just what to say to make me moist.~"

[ ]tell me your secrets foul creature
[ ]lets get out of here this is going nowhere
[ ]other

>>18801876
[x]tell me your secrets foul creature
We have less than 38 hours by my count. Not enough time to be subtle.

>>18801876
[x]One round

>>18801876

[X]lets get out of here this is going nowhere

giving my theory a long shot.

>>18801876
>Ikusa snaps 2 beads for having to endure this

[x]tell me your secrets foul creature.

>>18801869
They probably sit next to each other on park benches, they are both very stoic and don't say much, or anything. They consider it the most romantic date possible.
>>18801876
[X]tell me your secrets foul creature

This man is our current best lead, no matter how perverted and messed up he is.

If you don't tell us what we need to know Mr. Hapsviel there will be a reckoning. The innocent boys will be told the truth, the perverted will be told you are an upstanding place that just isn't for them. Your business will dry up and you'll never be able to grope an attractive man ever again.

>>18801902
Aww that's sweet.

I remember those tweets about Ikusa not expecting to find love.
Then talks about a quiet beauty.
Is he talking about Maggie as Gai, or is he talking about Yuki as Kyon?

>>18801876
This is a waste of time, let's get out of here Gai

>>18801876
If you tell us what we wish to know, we will reveal the location of a secret lair containing a transvestite playing DDR.

>>18801876
[x] TELL ME YOUR SECRETS FOUL CREATURE

"Listen, you're into weird stuff, right? Because you're coming off as someone who would LOVE to be forced into this furry suit and thrown hog-tied into the Undercon. Give us the information on these people."

>>18801896
Did he just do what I think he just did?
Good God, I pity the bastard. but we have no choice.
[x]tell me your secrets foul abomination of all existence

>Can we brick this foul creature in the head once were done? Seriously we'd be doing everyone a favor, simulation or not

>>18801915
We used our brick to jam the accelerator of our kart on, not sure if we regained it or not

"Tell us what you know, vile creature." You tell it. A calm, cold anger in your voice.
"You're into weird stuff, right? Because you're coming off as someone who would LOVE to be forced into this furry suit and thrown hog-tied into the Undercon."

"Ohhhh.. I'd love to do that again! When and where do you throw me in?" It asks giddily, sweat dripping off it's face in excitement.

"Two days from now. By the river. Ill even coat you in butter. Now tell us what you know." You tell it, the bile rising in your throat.

"Ohhh if you talk like that, there's no way I can resist..." It hugs itself in anticipation.

**ROLL FOR INFO**

rolled 48 = 48

>>18801936
The disgust and revulsion is palpable.

rolled 48 = 48

>>18801936
This seems appropriate.

rolled 21 = 21

>>18801936
This is perhaps the strangest interrogation we've ever performed.

rolled 9 = 9

>>18801936
Seriously, once we come here for real we are leaving Molotov everywhere and eradicating this hellhole

rolled 75 = 75

>>18801936
SPILL YOUR BEANS

rolled 25 = 25

>>18801936
Rollan

rolled 4 = 4

>>18801936
You shall give us your secrets! Not the ones that would destroy our brain, just the ones we need to know.

rolled 77 = 77

>>18801936

rolled 82 = 82

>>18801936
Tell me your secrets, grass.

>>18801953
He spills his beans.
Not figuratively though. literally.
From within the tight shorts that covered his nether regions dozens of small black beans fall out.
"Ooops. I forgot to clench." It grins.
"Anyway, yeah. I've seen them around. That one with the glasses and the one with the Mohawk. Last I saw the glasses guy was about 2 weeks ago, he got that full latex vacuum course. The mohawk guy... Well... Don't tell him I told you this but, He's down the hall right now. He's enjoying the schoolgirl buffet in the main conference room."

As he said this, you and Gai hurriedly run to where he said it would be.
You kick the doors open.

**ROLLEM*

rolled 67 = 67

>>18801982

knock knock motherfucker.

rolled 66 = 66

>>18801982
Stoic and Unflappable Entry!

rolled 40 = 40

>>18801982
PUT YOUR YOUR PANTS BACK ON AND YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR