>>21647922
That it was.

We wait with bated breath. Also, compilation of the other stories and pictures as a zip can be found here if anyone's interested:
http://www36.zippyshare.com/v/28626621/file.html

>>21648005

Then let us Begin.

This tale begins with a unexpected visit from my brother, with his two boys in tow. It was a day filled with false courtesies and pretending I gave a damn about his work troubles, of which he had endless complaints. At the very least Kat had fun playing with her cousins. Now his two children are 7 and 4, but apparently never heard story about knights in their short lives. So that dad Kat got to be the storyteller. Leading them off with an interesting rendition of Thomas' adventures with bugbears.

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>>21647922

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Pic related

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We rollin' nao

I got here in time for the best father ever? Hooray!

>>21648150

Now halfway through the story Kat decided she needed to show, and not merely tell the story. So she found her sword and shield and declared the two boys to be bugbears attempting to attack her. This concept greatly confused the two, they not knowing what a bugbear was. After much explanation from Kat and even her finding my monster Manuel and showing them a picture of one they finally got the jist of it. At this point my brother had stopped droning and we were simply watching them out of interest. Kat then found a doll of hers to serve as a damsel and the fight began!

Then next scene amounted to two boys screaming in terror as a young girl suddenly came at them swing a little plastic sword.

>>21648291
Huh...so you CAN make someone be flatfooted even if they knew the attack was coming. My DM will hear of this.

>>21648291

After we calmed them. (Well my brother did, I was too busy laughing) They explained they played pretend in a different way.

Essentially they shouted out whatever it was they were about to do, so no one would be surprised and could "Play along" with it. (I later learned my brother taught them to play as such in the hopes that one shouting "I'm going to hit you with X would avoid injures) Kat was slightly annoyed but agreed to alter her play for them. They then started afresh with Kat yelling "I'm going to smite ye with my blade!" And charging again, the older boy the yells "I knock the sword out of your hand!" Kat stops. And stares at him. "That's not how the story went."

I just stopped in to say I think it's wonderful that you're cultivating your daughters imagination. She'll grow up to be a better, more well-adjusted adult because of it.

>>21648371
>So they wouldn't hurt themselves
But getting cuts and scrapes is part of childhood!

>>21648371
>"I knock the sword out of your hand!"
This bugbear was smart.

>>21648371

"But then what's the point? Can we just play?"

Kat considered this and said. "Ok" with a smile and threw the blade to the side. Then yells "Foul beast! I will bash you with my shield then!" The older boy calls out again. "You can't do that shields aren't a weapon that's not fair!"\

"It's doesn't matter! IF I hit you with it it'll hurt watch!" (I had to stop her from hitting him.)

"Doesn't matter it's not a weapon and you have to play fair!"

Kat in the interest of more pretend relents. "Fine, I dive for my sword!" and leaps. The young cousin then has something to say. "You can't! I was over here and picked it up!"

"But you where over there! How could you?"

"I never said I was over there, I was over here so I have it now!"

Kat was looking very annoyed now. "Fine whatever"

Younger cousin "I attack you with the sword!"

Kat "I block it!"

Younger cousin "Nuh-uh I go around the shield when you try"

The little brat has to win it seems. My brother was getting a chuckle out of it.

>>21648491
These two kids remind me of my own cousins...that's not a compliment. Hopefully, they'll learn the value of playing fair so it's fun for everyone by the end.

>>21648491
>>21648491
>that's not fair!
Says the minmaxing rules lawyer.

>>21648537
If it doesn't benefit me, then it is not fair!

Reporting in! Ready to proofread and pngerate when the time is right!

>>21648537
It's all in good fun. Mostly.

>>21648537
Says the 4 year old**
FTFY. Honestly, I don't see how this could be any different than "I hit you with my gun" "nuh uh. "yuh huh"
Oh wait. It isn't different. Because these bugbears don't understand the obviousness of melee weapons.

>>21648491
Shields are very much weapons. They have listed damage... at least in 3.5
PEOPLE LIKE THEM

They're kids. Hopefully, they'll grow out of it.

And I hope Kat will learn to roll with the punches and be patient with eedjits.

Dude, please type this stuff up first next time, so we're not stuck waiting half an hour between posts.

>>21648558
I read that as 'pregnate.' You might want to use a different verb form.

>>21648582
I'm just baffled at a dad setting this up to keep his sons from hurting each other. My dad gave my sister and I our first wooden swords and our only warning was "Remember, scars last forever, so don't aim for the face" Or something like that. I heard about this secondhand from my mom since I was about 5 at the time.

>>21648608
Wait, does that mean I can make a character in 3.5 that dual-wields shields, and still be somewhat useful?

>>21648642
Like impngnate.

>>21648659
Theoretically yes, but you'll only get the AC bonus from one of them at a time.

>>21648491

Kat annoyed greatly now "Fine but when you hit me it just hits my armor! And I grab the sword from your hand!" And she yanks the blade from him.

younger cousin "Brother help!"

Older cousin "I'm gonna knock you down!" and proceeds to barrel down my daughter. I had to stop that and have a little talk with them about rough housing. But then it was back to play. Kat with her sword and the two bugbears facing her down. She yells again "I'm going to smite you with my sword!" And both the bugbears yell this time "We doge it!" and Kat had to smile at least, they seemed to finally get it.

Then they shout "And we throw rocks at you!"

"where did the rocks come from!?"

"The ground duh"

"They bounce off my armor!"

"Then I through a huge rock! With both my arms!"

"I roll out of the way!"

"Then I jump on you!"

"I stab you as you try!"

"I throw another big rock at you!"

"But I'm holding you down!"

"But I stabbed you!"

"You can doge it and stab me at the same time!

"I can too!"

"Then I knock your sword away when I grab you!"

"Then I use my shield to hit you!"

"You can't use your shield like that!"

"Gaaaaaah!"

>>21648642
Eh, it sounded amusing in my head. Point stands.

>>21648638

It's more fun watching you all wait as I type

>>21648689
Makes sense. Where's the fun of being a bard if you can't see your audience react? That being said, type faster and you can sleep by the fire and have the first bowl of stew by the kitchen. Fair trade?

>>21648689
I would imagine that you aren't taking breaks from telling your story just to refresh the page and look at your puppets dancing.
I'll check back in an hour to see if the story is done.

>>21648689
And here's why nobody really does write their stories before hand.

Twisted pleasure from seeing people f5ing!

Not that I wouldn't do exactly the same. Feeling an audience is awesome.

>>21648682

And the tale continues on in that fashion for quite sometime. My daughter slowly entering the "I need to beat them just to prove a point" mindset eventually. Somewhere in the end result had both the bugbears mounted on dinosaurs and Kat having a forty foot lance, that called down lighting like Zues was having a field day. Anyway at this point simply shouting out bigger and weirder items into the fray wasn't working so the boys started calling in more bugbears.

'With all of us we just rush in and beat you! You can't beat us all!"

Kat annoyed frustrated and never having to actually tell her story gives up.

"Fine you win! I don't care!" and storms off to her room.

That being the end of play my brother decided it was time to leave, once his kids finished their little victory dance. I went off to see how Kat was doing and hoepfully to explain why the little boys acted how they did.

But I could open my mouth however she spoke first.

"Next time I'll just tell the story, they don't know how to play right do they? It'll be netter for them if I just make them listen they aren't like my friends if I don't make them do it they'll ruin everything,"

She didn't seem mad, it was more of disappointment. And sure enough when I asked she said she wasn't mad. But she did ask a question. "Do they really have fun that way?"

So that's the short tale. Kat becomes frustrated and then learns about railroading troubled groups. I wonder if I should tell her other wise? What do you think /tg/?

Now I may have another tale if you all wish.

>>21648743

Truth be told it's more of a case of me being distracted on my end as I type, but still the reactions are fun to see

>>21648860
>Now I may have another tale if you all wish.
If we wish? Oh, you tease. You know we want it, you just want to hear us ask for it. Ply your trade, o bard, I beg of ye.

>>21648860
Of course we want to hear it. You know that.

>>21648659
yep. Known as a board and board instead of a sword and board.

>>21648905
>>21648917


Very well, know I feel the energy for one last tale, so once again I ask you all to choose.

1) The Zoo and Monster Manual

2) A day at Mid-evil times

3) The tale of Thog, A beginning with witches

>>21648981
I want to hear about Thog.

Take me to the Zoo!

>>21648981
The Zoo and the Monster Manual sounds like a recipe for d'awwlarity.

>>21648981
>one last tale
>three options
If you didn't have such wonderful stories...

Fine, I wish to hear of the zoo.

>>21649019

And if I didn't? Please Continue.

Anyway the Zoo it is. Now this was fairly recent, as it was a kindergarten trip to the local zoo. I, who was volunteer to chaperon by the wife decided to bring along the Monster Manuel as both a joke and to hopefully have fun with Kat as well. Once at the zoo however, Kat demanded to hold it. "I need to be able to find out what monsters I'm looking at! It took nothing more then five steps off the bus before she had her little group of friends with her to find the monsters. And off we go to see the Monsters.

>>21649101
Then the suspense would have killed me.

>>21649101

Now the first exhibit we visited that day was the monkeys. The tour guide described them as small and impish as then tended to like to play jokes on the guests. The word imp made everything easy for Kat. Quickly finding imps in the manual. Then discovering that imps normally had magic and fireballs and the like quickly declared that they all needed to watch out! Because the monkeys would " .... Tricks us to look away then burns us all!" Now the tour guide was just confused, the teacher just sorta sighed. After a few moments of staring the tour guide lead us away.

The next cage held a pair of bears. Easy enough for Kat to find but not fun enough to play with. Some they became dire bears. Still simple but slightly less boring. She had to ask however to the tour guide. "Do you cut off their spikes?"

I decided then to explain to that poor lady what was going on instead of letting her suffer.

>>21649207
I'm torn between hoping she'd play along with it and thinking she'd just be even more confused...

You are truly the best father a child could hope for... wonderful bed time stories, involved in the childs life, and helping cultivate creative thinking as well as imagination. Whatever you do remember these times with your daughter when she goes up and discovers boys and the mall. Possibly show her screenshots of the threads.

>>21649207

They lady while understanding the outburst now, (Some what it was more or less chalked up to childish imagination) did not seem to want to play along, so Kat was on her own for entertainment today.

The next exhibit was wolves, that quickly became worgs. She could tell by the grotesque jaw of one of the wolves. (It was yawning) and clearly the zoo keeper feeding them at the time was a hobgoblin that was to be slain later on that day.

The hyaenas were gnolls in disguise, the gorillas bugbears. Then we came to the crocodile exhibit, the highlight of the day because Kat got to see dragons that day.

I kind of want to make this man a mandolin similar to the guitar in Ephemeral Phantasia. An instrument to play songs for his daughter, and a sword to polish when boys come to court her.

>>21649298
>Kat got to see dragons that day.
You are the best father with the best daughter ever. What else needs to be said?

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>>21648860
I limited myself to typos. You do make me work at it, don't you Bard Father?

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>mfw i wish i had a dad as good as you.

>>21649298

Now the exhibit for crocodiles was rather extensive, because it seems crocodiles are racists, they hate different colors ones and fight among them so they kept them separate. When Kat found three seprate cages filled with Blue, green and a few white (Albinos) scaly beast, they were clearly ice' lighting and poisons dragons. But this is also where a little trouble started and a bit of fun I had to end. Now Kat walked up to the tour guide and asked a question. "How do you get in to feed them?" She answered her. "There's a door right around back if you go in the building." She then scampered back to her friends and I had to follow. Tell her that no, today was not a day to slay dragons.

"But dad what could be better!?"

"Watching druids and rangers put on shows with beast."

And that was that and we moved on, Kat eager for a show.

Further in zone they had an elephant show, with clearly druid magic, for how else could such a large beast balance on a ball? And the well trained griffins who flew threw rings in the air, and even a few wrogs that danced. It was a magical day for Kat where the shows came to life in a new way. On the bus back to the school Kat asked me a question. "Could I learn to do that? To be a druid like them?" "Of course you can"

My Daughter wants to be a zoo keeper now.

>>21649419
I have not given a "That's bloody adorable" kind of smile in years, bard father. And yet, every time you put fingers to keyboard, I have no other reaction. Good show, mate.

>>21649419
And so she will continue to reinvent what she'll be. It's awkward when you don't grow out of that in college, I keep feeling trapped every so often.

And with that tale good night /tg/ I no not when I shall return, but return I shall with more tales to tell.

I shall leave you with the final words of Thog the barbarian.

"A big man like me can feel too, that's why I will win while you lose" All this as he jumped into the Volcano.

Hmm. Well honestly it's a pretty tricky concept. I suppose the only way to really solve it wouldbe to actually start playing out the actions with a die to determine whether or not they're succesful

>>21649559
WHY WOULD YOU LEAVE US WITH THAT?

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>>21649419

Should...should we keep the thread bumped for tomorrow?

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>>21650449
Yes. A millions times yes.

>>21652986
Then bump.

>>21653157
This is /tg/. Even at our busiest you can wait three hours between bumps fairly safely.

>>21648860
The fact that you raised your daughter to appreciate the playing, rather than the winning, pleases me greatly.

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I BRING THE GIFT OF DRAWFAGGOTRY TO THIS THREAD.

also i can't draw horses

Really though, a friend had linked me to the archives of this and being able to find an active thread of pretty much the best dad ever made me giddy! So here you go!

>>21653390
But that's an amazing horse

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>>21653390
Great work, amazing horse.

>>21654853
It tastes just like raisins

>>21655006
I need some lemonade now.
Sweet lemonade. Mmmh, sweet lemonade.

>>21649715

It's fun and perhaps I'm sadistic.

>>21653390
Truly there can be no nobler steed.

Am I the only one thinking that we're witnessing the beginnings of the worlds first, real-life Paladin?

Amazing work Bardfahter, and I hope that someday I can be as awesome as you are.

>>21655042
She's like a real life Sandwich to me.

>>21653390
d'awwww

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It sounds almost like you and your daughter are on a mission from God.

To give /tg/ new good screencaps.

Bump for the bump gods

Long live the bard and his wonderful daughter

I wonder if we'll have to wait for tomorrow before Bard Father recounts another story.

Bump