Letting your nannites shower you rather than take the time for a real one, you go grab a cup of coffee from the pot that had been brewing since the call came in. It isn't the real stuff - that shit's too expensive for even your budget, which isn't exaltly stingy - but it's the closest thing molecular assembly plants can supply. Still tastes like shit, though. It's supposed to get better as you age, but...

Heh.

"I'll have them at location Victor Charlie Alpha at in thirty six," you say, savouring the horrible tasting liquid.

"That's what I like to hear!" The voice, though computer generated, sounds somewhere between excited and pleased. "Base out." The Rose, which had followed you into the little alcove that you like to pretend is a kitchen, abruptly collapses in on itself and vanishes from your vision.

With your free hand, you poke the file that had been left behind, which is lazily floating over your frying pan as you cook up an omelet from a half dozen eggs.

:Welcome to THE BUREAU
:WARNING
:USER PROFILE CORRUPT
:ATTEMPTING TO RETREIVE BACKUP...
:...
:...
:...
:...
:BACKUP RETREIVED.
:WARNING
:PROFILE BACKUP CORRUPT.

"Oh hell no," you say through a mouthful of omelet. "Nope. Nope. Nope. NOPE. This isn't happening."

:ATTEMPT TO RECONSTRUCT PROFILE (Y/N)?

>What do you do?

=====
THE RULES

The first choice of action to reach three votes determines the actions taken by the protagonist. If an action is STRESSFUL (such as combat), SKILLFUL (such as hacking), or SOCIAL (such as bluffing), roll a d20 and add the relevant stat. Unless a critical is rolled, the average will be taken.

The stats used in this game are Fallout's SPECIAL - Strength, Perception, Endurance, Charisma, Intelligence, Agility, Luck.

For those who need everything spelled out plainly:

Strength is a measure of the character's physical might.
Perception is a measure of how aware the character is of her surroundings.
Endurance is a measure of how tough the character is.
Charisma is a measure of the character's bearing and presence.
Intelligence is a measure of how smart the character is.
Agility is a measure of a character's hand eye coordination.
Luck is a measure of how lucky the character is.

Luck is special (heh) because it determines the crit range on your rolls.

1 luck never crits, and critically fails on a 4 or lower.
2-4 luck crits on a 20, and critically fails on a 3 or lower.
5-6 luck crits on a 19 or higher, and critically fails on a 2 or lower
7-9 luck crits on an 18 or higher, and critically fails on a 1.
10 luck crits on a 17 or higher, and never critically fails.
=====

First, yes lets reconstruct our profile, and check our inventory.

(please let us have a quirky AI unit that does are targeting who we can't get along with. Also we vow to get rid of it, but never get around to it.)

>>22368638
Reconstruct profile Y.

First thing to do is check our inventory. Second we should pull up profiles of friends and people we've worked with before and make a team from them.

>>22368658
Huh, lets put everything into charisma, intelligence, and perception.

(how many points do we have total?)

>>22368690
Fuck, your idea is terrible and annoying. Too many AIs we can't get along with already. Go back to /a/ with that shit.

>>22368658
S - 5
P - 6
E - 5
C - 8
I - 8
A - 6
L - Start with 7

>>22368809
This should let us upgrade our crap as we go.

If this quest has us doin' magic, items that boost our base stats may be something we can build.

>>22368658
How many points do we have to spend?

>>22368809
iamokaywiththis.jpg

But... but... chitter.

>>22368809
Drop two points of luck, get C and I up to 9.

>>22368890
Not the guy who suggested it, but no.

7 luck is a good point to have it, 10 is too expensive, but crit failing on a 2 is a bit too often for me.

>>22368809
Seconded.

>>22368890
Luck determines far too much in these matters, and can help in things like craftan cheks to increase other stats.

A makeup kit and some shades could max out charisma, and if it doesn't, something else might. Only pleb OPs would stick us with permanent stats in a SPECIAL quest, and luck affects too much of the game.

File: 1357197519359.jpg-(722 KB, 800x1200, Drinkan Coffee.jpg)

Flailing, you do you best to slap the shit out of the flying red N that has appeared in front of you. You really don't want to do this right now - it's annoying, it's long, it's arduous, and it comes to mind that you won't be able to review the files on the people who stole your day off. Also, they have either killed or are torturing one of the few people who've been with you from the beginning, which is also bad.

"Dammit, 'Linda," you say, smacking the flying green Y. "If you're dead I'm going to fucking kill you."

The text begins to advance, asking you for your secure access phrase, something you would never say (I certainly love being a twenty nine year old child soldier!) before letting you actually access the profile that you need to restore.

:Welcome to THE BUREAU
:Profile Reconstruction Begin:
:Please Enter [Agent Name] now.
:Please Enter [Compiler Designation] now
:Please Enter [Metatextual Statistical Analysis] now.

>Enter all three.
>SPECIAL is a 40 point buy, distribute 40 points, no stat less than 3.
>Compiler Designation is your magis element, which can be pretty much anything.

>>22369052
S-3
P-6
E-3
C-9
I-9
A-3
L-7

This is what I believe we should go with.

>>22369052
In that case,

S - 4
P - 5
E - 4
C - 7
I - 8
A - 5
L - 7

>>22369052
As for name I vote Sammantha (Sam for short) or Kallen.

As for magic I vote we take up golemancy, golem servants are always a plus.

>>22369052
>name
Joanna Constantine

>compiler designation
Godfrey, after Gottfried Leibnitz

>>22369111
seconding

>>22369102
>makes shit into 3s
>doesn't get that we're going to need leadership, and specialists can be found elsewhere

>>22369052
Sylvia Hawkins

S - 4
P - 6
E - 4
C - 5
I - 8
A - 6
L - 7

Compiler Designation: Entropy

>>22369052
>Compiler designation

Artifice, so we can boost stats. Lets us make shit in general, too.

>>22369135
Hey, a hellblazer fan! Seconding name.

>>22369102
Seconding these stats.

>>22369136
>Entropy
What the fucking fuck, man, you're gonna get us all killed.

>>22369162
You know you want it. Besides we control it, we can wreck every body else's day instead of ours.

>>22369147
This looks like the least terrible option.

Let's get it all together:

Joanna Constantine

S - 4
P - 5
E - 4
C - 7
I - 8
A - 5
L - 7

Artifice

>>22369136
>Entropy
I am considering changing my vote tot his just to bring about the end of days.

>>22369052
Agent Name: Maria Hoddford

S-4
P-5
E-5
C-7
I-6
A-6
L-7

We should be an all-rounder, but with that little something that propelled us to leadership. Hence averageish values (with emphasis on being adorable & dextrous yet weak child) with luck in the second-last category.

> I don't know what a Magis Element is

>>22369178

this looks okay

>>22369215
>>22369178
>>22369147

Guess we've got our gal, OP. Fire up dat quest.

>designate magical element
Alright guys, how overpowered do we want to be?

Name: (someone else come up with one)
S-4
P-6
E-4
C-6
I-6
A-7
L-7

Element: Boundaries

>>22369180
Do it, change it to entropy.

I already voted for entropy.

>>22369178
I'm fine with this statline but I do think Entropy would be more interesting than Artifice. Destruction vs. creation.

>>22369240
>Destruction vs. creation
>having to choose

>>22369178
Looks good to me.

>>22369240
Do you not into logic?

COMMANDER! Listen to me, commander. We could BUILD AN ENTROPY CANNON.

>>22369307
>having to build an entropy cannon
>not taking element: Truth
>"I have an entropy cannon."

I do understand not wanting to break the game for ourselves, of course.

File: 1357199111075.jpg-(855 KB, 800x1200, Cyberpunk Magical Girl.jpg)

:Name Entered and Verified
:Welcome to THE BUREAU Joanna Constantine.

:Metanalysis Entered and Verified

:Strength - 4
:Perception - 5
:Endurance - 4
:Charisma - 7
:Intelligence - 8
:Agility - 5
:Luck - 7

You feel pretty SPECIAL after putting in your metanalysis, rather lucky, even if you never did fully regain your strength from you old sickness. Nomming on an egg, you smirk and try to see if you can trick the computer into thinking you were a lot more powerful than you are.

:Enter Compiler Designation
:>Artifice
:Compiler Designation Entered
:Verifying...
:...
:...
:...
:Scanning local r-state...
:...
:...
:...
:Scan complete. Compiler Designation Not Verified.
:Sanctity of the Forms Verified.
:Enter Compiler Designation

>Enter Compiler Designation.
>If your element violates another Platonic Form (such as both creation AND destruction do by their nature), it is right out.

>>22369420
Golemancy.

Everyone needs a bunch of little mechanized servants. It will also go with the fact we used to be sickly and are weak. Instead we use our little machine servants to do all our heavy lifting.

>>22369420
>Platonic Form
I feel like I should know what this means.

>>22369447
Again. Violates a Platonic Form.

Mind, it's not like you can't make golems out of your Form, but still.

>>22369493
May we get further explanation on exactly what Platonic Form is.

And the quest grinds to a screeching halt as the philosophy lecture begins.

>>22369493
>>22369420
Seriously, OP, might want to get the fuck out of character here and lay it out in simple terms.

>>22369528
>>22369548
Lets just take telekentics. it's simple, useful, and probably won't violate the rules.

>>22369511

Basically, on a philosophical level, they are things that can't be broken down into smaller things. Creation and destruction can be broken down into smaller things. Fire, not really. Apples, not really. Swords, ~iffy but sure. Sharpness, not really. Etc. Etc.

Think of something exceeding simple on a philosophical level, and pick that as your element.

>>22369572
>not wanting to be as utterly overpowered as possible
It's like you want us to hit an abrupt Bad End.

>>22369588
Ok, then I choose light.

File: 1357199892560.gif-(946 KB, 500x700, FUCKING GOD.gif)

>>22369588
...

>Boundaries
>Truth
>Perception
Take your pick or suggest your own, gentlemen.

>>22369588
Fine, AUGMENTATION.

It lets us create things that buff people/team members.

If not that, then EMPATHY. That'll let us win over so many motherfuckers we'll get entropy mages working for us.

>>22369612
Every single one of those can be broken down.
>>22369572
So can that.
>>22369596
What kind of light? In what sense of light? Laser light? Enlightenment? Colors? Lightweight things?

You guys cannot into plato.

>>22369624
This...can maybe into plato.

>>22369624
I would rather we have total control of the SELF, physically and mentally, of ourselves, and others.

This allows us to gain both your desired abilities.

I've got no fucking idea what any of this means besides it being our magic power, so I'll just blurt out Time Manipulation and hope I don't sound completely retarded.

>>22369646
>>22369662
Yes. We cannot into Plato.

Why don't you into helping, and teach us how to into Plato rather than being useless.

>>22369646
Mother fucker, I don't care! Just start the damn quest already. You know what cannot be broken down intros smaller bits? X-ray radiation.

Lets become a nuclear bomb gentleman.

>>22369668
The ideal self was kind of a complex thing according to plato, and I suspect OP wouldn't let us go for it, but it'd be nice.

Faggot had to go and replace ARETE. If we could have that, OP, oh, wow. We'd be a badass.

>>22369692
see phrasing of
>>22369662
I was seconding it.

>>22369624
>>22369668
>>22369697
Fund it. Arete in the sense of all-around optimization would be pretty alright, though augmentation or empathy would work. Certainly self has my support if it is both available and able to deliver what we hope for.

>>22369708
Yes, and leaving us with no help in understanding why it works. It does not actually help us into Plato.

>>22369736
Why don't you try thinking harder?

Truth has a million subjective definitions even as a platonic ideal because platonic prose indicates that the rhetorical tools granted us to get there can produce so many different results. Aside from that, you're wanting to use it to make things true, which is more of a reality-altering power without a single all-consuming label.

Perception is concerned with the various senses, and so can be broken down into aural perception, visual perception, etc aristotelian-style.

Boundaries, do you mean legal ones? Etc.

Augmentation might be differentiable but in the end relates to something being made more than it was, to qualitative increase, though quantity is often the quality in question. It at least contains a single unified concept before being further divisible.

Empathy is pretty much indivisible. It can only be used in one sense, even if definitions differ.

>>22369794
Unless OP is going hardcore stupid and using the idea of ideal forms in the cave.

In which case the one we should choose is obviously the ideal gun or the ideal armor.

>>22369794
You know what, fuck it. Where is OP?

Just give us a damn list to choose from, I just want to get started.

(still say x-ray radiation)

>>22369822
Can we reword that as 'Irradiating death lasers'?

>>22369842
Irradiating Lasers, lets do this. I want to give people cancer. Fuck.

oxygen could be fun

>>22369842
Ain't gonna work.

>>22369794
>>22369822
>Why don't you try thinking harder?
>You know what, fuck it.

/tg/ in a nutshell

/thread

>>22369866
The distinctions or lack thereof seem rather arbitrary. Perhaps someone could just post a list of things we KNOW FOR SURE constitute Platonic Forms, and pick from there.

>>22369822

Trying to figure out how Arete will work, as that was the first to reach three votes from what I can see. It will have to do with the perfection of self, temporary stat boosts, and turning critical failures into critical successes.

>>22369893
>turning critical failures into critical successes.
DUMP LUCK! DO IT NOW!

Does fear work?

>>22369876
I just wanted to come into a thread, and have some fun, not have to use my FUCKING BRAIN! God damn, what is that lump of fat for anyway!

>start reading interesting quest
>discussion degenerates into bastardized philosophy

Please stop clubbing each other in the cave and settle on a character idea.

>>22369893
That'll work. Arete is all about being a good all-rounder so as not to have a deficiency in one particular area.

Just think of Odysseus - he is a great fighter, a wily schemer, a ready speaker, a man of stout heart and broad wisdom who knows that he must endure without too much complaining what the gods send; and he can both build and sail a boat, drive a furrow as straight as anyone, beat a young braggart at throwing the discus, challenge the Phaecian youth at boxing, wrestling or running; flay, skin, cut up and cook an ox, and be moved to tears by a song. He is in fact an excellent all-rounder; he has surpassing aretê.

>>22369906
It's not going to work every time, dumbfuck.

>>22369916
I want to, but apparently nothing we choose qualifies!

I still think Irradiating deathlasers would be better...

This thread is in dire need of more wrathful pinkettes.

>>22369968
And waifu creation. If it's one thing that /tg/ does well is make waifus. If there is one thing we do horribly it is philosophy. Lets stick to what we know guys.

>>22369968
>>22369990
You may both be in dire need of having your shit slapped.

>>22369968

get out

>>22369990

you too

>>22369968
We can recruit her into our team. We get four others, after all.

>>22369968
What the fuck are you even talking about?

>>22369995
Already happened.

>Implying I wouldn't enjoy it.

Anyway, what is our decision so we can get the show on the road?

OP, please try making the quest again another time. This looks like a bust and I want to see it work.

>>22370027
see
>>22369893

>>22370031
It wouldn't have been bust if OP didn't stall his own quest to death. It's not /tg/ that is at fault here.

>>22370060
So, we lynch OP?

our magical power is shitty philosophizing

File: 1357201697202.jpg-(636 KB, 850x1236, Belinda.jpg)

You sigh at the machine's response, and type in you actual Compiler Designation. You were a little bit disappointed when you found out that your magic was more internally focussed than externally focussed. No flashy kabooms for you, nor making old pipes super sharp like Belinda could. Just a few self enhancements, and a luck that was gods be damned perfect.

:Compiler Designation Entered and Verified.
:Compiler Designated ARETE, the excellence of self.

:Compiled Spell Matrices

:Excellence in Failure
:Perfect Self
:Superbia Maxima
:Referer's Intuition
:Perfect Form
:Fearlessness

:Active Spell Matrices

:Enhanced Self
:Boundless Speed

:Key Metanalysis Stat: Luck

"Okay, that's settled," you mutter at the screen. "Now, tell me your secrets."

:Welcome to THE BUREAU Joanna Constantine
:Accessing Files...
:...
:...
:Files Accessed
:>Field Report: Belinda Rogers
:>Second Mirrors Report
:>First Mirrors Report

>What do you do?

>>22370071
Call up a list of people we can recruit. We need someone to help build shit, a perceptive person, a strong person, et cetera.

>>22370071
Fuck, I don't even remember. We're meant to be finding our squaddies, yes? Let's do that.

>>22370071
Read the reports. Field report, first mirrors report, second mirrors report.

We fight crime!

>>22370071
Read all of reports in order First, Second, and then Belinda's report. We need to know what we're up against before we can put a good team together.

>>22370071

take off that shitty hat. what are we, ten?

>>22370098
>>22370103
these

>>22370098
Seconding this.

>>22370105
Hey. Man walks down the street in that hat, people know he's not afraid of anything.

>>22370091
Ok, here is what we need for the team:

The smart guy, in the form of a overweight neck beard hacker type

The big guy in the form of a steroid addicted muscle bound black man who can't scratch his face.

The lancer in the form of a rival agent chick who is our best friend or some similar bullshit but is actually evil

The chick, who is really touchy (as in she will FUCKING TOUCH YOU WHILE YOU SLEEP)

And the team pet, a hamster named nibbles.

>>22370130
because he's lobotomized, maybe

>>22370140

>neckbeard
>guido roidfag
>animu tropes

1/10. Get back in your box, pleb!

>>22370162
I have a better idea.

A man with a paralyzing fear of large spaces, to the point he has not left his house in years. he interacts with the world entirely through various wired in things, cameras and the like. Also we are unsure how exactly he has managed to survive on nothing but delivered convince store food for three years.

>>22370189
Nothing says /tg/ like self insert characters, anon.

File: 1357202545281.png-(Spoiler Image, 455 KB, 950x1000)

Let's wait to see the list of recruits before we start deciding, shall we?

Though we know who we all want to see there...

>>22369990
Only as appropriate friend.

>>22369995
Chill, brah, chill. No need to get bent out of shape from a single comment.

>>22370020
Another quest, ran 'round the end of last summer. If OP is who I want to think he is, he should hopefully know where to find me.

>>22370140
Those aren't magical girls. Those aren't magical girls at all.

>>22370071
Read them reports, and query re: possible team mates.

>>22370225
Of course, now bend over an accept my hard throbbing personal projections.

>>22370253
That's hardly self-inserting. You're the one that's supposed to bend something over.

>>22370292
Is that even anatomically possible?

Particularly considering the characters in this quest are presumably predominantly girls?

>>22370306
But you're not a girl.

You're a man with a paralyzing fear of large spaces, to the point where you have not left your house in years. You interact with the world entirely through various wired in things, cameras and the like. Also we are unsure how exactly you have managed to survive on nothing but delivered convince store food for three years.

Now get bending.

>>22370071
Really the only thing to do is read all the reports

>>22370340
>BUENO

I vote we access the field report, first. I think Belinda was our missing friend, so maybe it'll tell us what to expect when we go look for her.

>>22370306
This isn't me.

>>22370340
And I do not in fact have a fear of large spaces. I have a fear of bears, and bears generally live in large spaces. Ergo, fuck bears.

Now I shall bend.

File: 1357203306275.gif-(1.63 MB, 296x248, Fuck it, I'm out.gif)

>Cyberpunk
This could be fun
>magical girl
Well fuck. Fuck everything.

>>22370381
>fuck bears.
Well, that's one way to get over your fear...

File: 1357203453285.png-(2.08 MB, 1800x1275, Cirnos.png)

You decide that before you choose who you're going to bring in for the mission, you're going to need a bit of context on the whole 'what the actual fuck is going on here' thing. Deciding that it would be best to get the worst of them out of the way first, you poke the floating head of your best friend on the nose, which then unfurls into a full hologram of her.

"Base, this is Belinda," the image says. "I don't know who gave you your information, but they were wrong. Whatever the hell is going on in here, it's certainly not 'routine r-state fluctuations'."

There's an explosion in the background. A rather big one.

"Because I really don't think routine r-state fluctuations lob explosions around so freely." There is another, louder one. "Nor do they tend to, you know, be fifty meter tall eldritch monstrosities shaped like a mind bending puzzle, sir." There is a moment of silence - whatever sounds of fighting that were in the background stop.

"-ake her t-"

"-ut the co-"

The recording ends abruptly. The other two are mostly useless, aside from giving you the location of the r-state anomaly (on the corner of Fifth and Weston, fairly close to outpost Bravo Tango Foxtrot). Filled to the brim with assurances that it was just weird space, the two Mirrors reports are absolutely no help at all.

>What do you do?

>>22370392
That is what must turn this quest into.

We must become, the bear fucker.

>>22370413
Read the First Mirrors report, and then the Second. What are they?

>>22370413
Contamination. We take no options, engage code level black. Contingency plan: Divine Mayfly.

Carpet the entire area is as much radiation and holy water as we can, if the vatican gets wind we let one of them run loose the whole countryside might end up under quarantine.... again.

>>22370415
Shoulda named ourselves Mirai.

Also, our Intelligence is 1 short for the Cirnos.

>>22370413
Flip a coin, I wonder if they end up landing edge first when we do it.

Rewatch it a few times, pay special attention to the explosions and how they act/work. See if we can see anything of the eldritch monstrosities she's talking about.

Sigh, get a cigarette and a cup of coffee, we've got a long couple days ahead of us.

Pull up a roster of available personnel we can draft for this, with a filter giving priority to people we've worked with before or with exceptional talent.

File: 1357203709590.jpg-(65 KB, 945x980, Minaka.jpg)

>>22370238
That's certainly not who I'm referring to. More of pic related. A Timid Brunette to go with her is also acceptable.

But these are references I suppose none of you get.

>>22370413
Remind ourself of just what a Mirror is in this context.

>>22370435
Hurr, we've already read them. Never mind.

>>22370471
Wait, there was a Nanoha quest on /tg/? How do I not know of this?

>>22370413
Review files of possible teammates.

I hope there's a chick in there that doesn't have -4 str, we really need someone to offset our noodly physique.

=====
Powers and their rules

Your Key stat is the number of times per thread you can use Compiled Spell Matrices, which makes luck even more critical for you.

Excellence in Failure: Upon use, turns a critical fail into a critical success.

Perfect Self: Upon use, turns all of your stats to 10 for the next post.

Superbia Maxima: Upon use, automatic critical success on a skillful action.

Referer's Intuition: Upon use, guesses are correct if not reality violating (you guess the right way to the target, you think there might be a cache of weapons somewhere, etc.)

Perfect Form: Upon use, automatic critical success on a physical action

Fearlessness: Upon use, overcome supernatural fear.

Active matrices are active all the time, and do not use up a time per thread from your pool.

Enhanced Self: At the beginning of each thread, add 1 to 2 abilities scores (do that now). You are also immune to non-supernatural fear effects.

Boundless Speed: You can run at 30 kph, jog at 20 kph, and walk at 10 kph.

>>22370532
Mentally disabled road fiend? I'm thinking we need a Hodor!

>>22370549
Okay, add one to Luck and one to Perception.

>>22370493
Nanoha... ish. Called "Magical" Girl quest, set in a post-scarcity setting, akin to Eclipse Phase. We started as the planetary AI, tasked to assemble a team of "magical" girls to fight an impending invasion of Von Neumann machines, which for some reason didn't use lethal measures against pubescent females.

Then the quest runner disappeared (after we nat 20'd a roll to understand a form of time travel), and I and others were quite sad.

>>22370549
Add one to strength and endurance to cover our fail.

>>22370569
>add to luck
Are you stupid? Unless it gets us to 10, we're not going to be categorically ahead in terms of crits.

>>22370549
>boundless speed
Well, I guess we can run slower than we could move on a bicycle.

>>22370600
Does get you another use of your compiled powers though.

>>22370600
Did you not read the bit about Key Stats? Putting it at 8 means we can use Compiled Spell Matrices 8 times instead of 7.

>>22370549
>Enhanced Self: At the beginning of each thread, add 1 to 2 abilities scores (do that now). You are also immune to non-supernatural fear effects.
Perception & Agility

>>22370616

Sorry, that should be mph*

>>22370549
Review assets given to us by the Rose. Do we have a car? A gun? Let's look at ourselves in the mirror, and check our sum total.

>>22370623
5 is the mean for stats, and any problem we can't solve with 7 uses is unlikely to be solved by 8.

But if we're going to be cheap little shits about it, I guess we could go with luck and charisma/intelligence.

Way for OP not to explain the fucking rules before we started chargen.

File: 1357205447325.jpg-(544 KB, 850x531, Contacts.jpg)

Alright, great. So the situation is that your friend got nabbed buy something or someone that could speak the queens fucking english, there's a heightened r-state out there in the middle of the fucking city that seems to spew fucking eldritch abominations out the ass, and either The Bureau's computers were cracked (un-fucking likely, but possible) or the survey team has been compromised, or both. Just. Fucking. Incredible.

"This," you sigh, "is exactly how I wanted to spend my day off."

You down the rest of the horrid liquid and pur yourself another cup, while your computer cycles through your [CLASSIFIED] Contacts list.

There are quite a few. Most of whom you never met in person. Reducing that down gets you a bit more of an acceptable list.

Amy - Heavy Weapons. Assault Specialist. [Not On Duty]
Belinda - Heavy Magic. Assault Specialist [MIA]
Bianca - Light Magic. Infiltration Specialist [Not On Duty]
Carmina - Medium Magic. Special Operations [Not On Duty]
Delphine - Light Weapons. Infiltration Specialist [On Duty]
Erin - Medium Weapons. Command Operations [On Duty]
Hilda - Medium Weapons. Assault Specialist [Not On Duty]
Gertrude - Heavy Magic. Infiltration Specialist [Not On Duty]
Zoey - Light Magic. Assault Specialist [On Duty]

>What do you do?

>>22370871
sounds like we have more like 5 people to pick from already since only five arn't already doing stuff.

>>22370871

Hilda and Gertrude, good strong Germanic names wont find any better girls.

>>22370871
Let's send inquiries to everybody not on duty, as Not On Duty doesn't guarantee that they're not busy. Let them know that The Rose has lost a mage, and you've personally selected them to retrieve her.

Are we getting paid? What materiel will we have access to for the mission? Is The Rose providing anything?

>>22370871
Okay, our operation is in 48 hours so we might be able to get some of the On Duty people.

Pull up comparisons of Gertrude and Bianca as we won't need both of them, I'm leaning towards Gertrude.

Amy is wanted, we need a heavy weapons person.

Get more info on Delphine and Carmina, they interest me.

>>22370871
We need to know what the different advantages and disadvantages of the following are:

-Special operations
-Command operations

Because that kind of makes a difference.

What would be the benefit of having a second commander on our team? Would it making splitting the team into two groups viable?

And who's the medic?

>>22370871
Contact, or arrange to contact when they're off duty, Amy, Carmina, Hilda, and Gertrude.

>>22370889
We've got 48 hours, so we should be able to snag any of them.

>>22370871
>>22370963
Additionally, do any of the sniper-types carry anti-materiel rifles?

>>22370972
>>22370967
>>22370963
>>22370942
>>22370935
>>22370909
>>22370889

We need a plan for how the fuck this team is actually going to function.

Do we need snipers? Spotters with stealth capability to scout? Do we need a medic? What do we need aside from someone to lug around the heavy guns?

>>22371027
I believe we should use an ancient ork saying

"More Dakka"

>>22370871
Why the fuck

Are all our contacts Touhoes?

File: 1357206594337.jpg-(165 KB, 490x598, So Extinct You Need To Cl(...).jpg)

You pause to contemplate the resources at your perusal. You open up an encrypted channel to your financial information and find with no surprise that a small shell corporation has been set up in your name approxiamately two and a half minutes ago. It owns a small warehouse two blocks down from the heightened r-state zone, which if you go by normal Bureau procedures is where all the goodies and toys are stashed.

For shits and giggles, you look up to see what position in the company you hold this time.

:Welcome to ROSE CORP, LLC, LTD
:>Query Management
:Chief Financial Officer: J. Constantine
:Other Positions Pending.
:>Query Salaries
:As part of the 2031 Disclosures Act, We are obligated to make available the compensation for our upper management.
:CFO Compensation: 1,500,000

You're a little disappointed at you paltry salary. Usually, the figures are a bit more absurd - though this might be the Secrecy branch of the Bureau figuring that less absurd compensation packages are less notable to interested third parties. This sum is, however, enough to buy yourself the coffee plant you've been meaning to get, a sound investment in these troubled times.

>What do you do?

>>22371058
inb4 Cyberpunk Touhou Quest

Fuck this shit, it's Japan o'clock and I'm not putting up with the questgiver's inability to post in a rapid fashion.

>>22371058
Because OP is a faggot.

>>22371086
I actually don't mind this too much.

>>22371091
Forgot my sage! Come back when you can post once every fifteen minutes, you slothful, nocturnal, /a/-spawned fuck.

>>22371072
Start shopping. We'll need weapons, armour and transportation assuming we don't have our own already. Have we sent messages to our potential squadmates yet? We need to hire them.

>>22371112
my my, there's a real poet among us.

>>22371099
Neither would I. I wish this would swerve down the 'A-Team where everyone is an animu schoolgirl killer' path. It'd make trying to sort out what to do next easier.

>>22371027
We aren't likely to get much info on what we're going in to, save going to check it out ourself, though that may not be safe. I was trying for a generally well rounded team, myself.

>>22371072
Well, shit, we've got time, let's go down and see what we've got there.

File: 1357207754133.jpg-(72 KB, 849x971, Joanna.jpg)

>Last post for the night.

You decide to contact Amy, Carmina, Hilda, and Gertrude. Those four have always been reliable, and the way you're feeling right now about the fucks that kidnapped your friend, a delicate hand is the last thing you want to use. No, no, you're definitely in a "hammer it until it's dead" mood right now.

To: Amy, Carmina, Hilda, Gertrude.
From: Joanna

:Recording Begin

"Hey guys, some fucks decided that the Bureau was something that they could fuck with, so they fucked with our field reports, and more importantly, they fucked with one of us.

Right now, some two bit motherfucker who thinks Cthulhu is the type of thing you want hanging around in your back yard is holding Belinda hostage. Now, this isn't the type of thing that we let slide now, is it? No, what we're going to do, is we're going to find where those motherfuckers live, and what they're motherfucking doing. And then we're going to burn it all to the fucking ground.

And Gertrude, yes. You can use the lemons."

You open an encrypted channel to the other girls, and along with it send the coordinates to the warehouse.

>On the case that this is still alive tomorrow...
>What do you do?

>>22371112
Well damn, someone sure is being a cock gobbler this night.

>>22371296
Go check out the warehouse, place the order for the coffee plant.

And, if this is you, REaDS, we missed you.

>>22371296
What is the Bureau in the business of doing? Who are you within it? What are you? What is your history? Who opposes the Bureau? What do they want?

tl;dr: Can we get some exposition/background on the current setting please?

I endorse this thread.

>>22372409
but apparently the OP doesn't as it seems he has abandoned us

>>22372676
He cryptically hinted that he would come back tomorrow. He's likely gone to sleep.

I can see this going the way Magical Girl Noir Quest was supposed to go.

>>22371296
We should be a little more careful with our communications. The Bureau did say that the enemy has already begun cracking our encryption.

File: 1357241863163.jpg-(333 KB, 2048x1536, The Bureau's Logo.jpg)

>>22371897
=====
Codex: The Bureau

Founded in 2017, The Bureau is a paramilitary organization dedicated to the extermination and containment of supernatural threats. Possessing greater net assets than many countries, The Bureau is able to operate without support from the nations they operate within.

Communications between The Bureau's Operations Agents and Field Agents occur over a wireless Wide Area Network that exists in parralel to the internet proper. Whilst normal such methods would be insecure and subject to man-in-the-middle attacks, the bandwidth the network uses is proprietary, relying on heightened r-state radiowaves that civilian transceivers cannot pick up. This makes their network alomst impossible to crack, as it requires the transceivers to be chromatically drained.

The Bureau's Field Agents are universally female. Recruitment generally occurs from poor families with terminally ill children; the Bureau offers an experimental cure, and most families agree without hesitation. A clone of the child is grown whilst they are under The Procedure, and is used to fake the child's death.

The Procedure itself is an esoteric process that involves entrance into what is known as Plato's Cave by the subject's consciousness. It is unknown what exactly occurs in the Cave (most describe it as "tripping balls") but if the subject is not rejected, they emerge with total knowledge of a Form. The only known side effect of the Procedure is a lack of aging in the subjects - subjects do not grow past the age of recruitment. If the subject is rejected, they die.

Significantly correlated factors for rejection are as follows. Subjects ungoing the procedure post puberty have 99.75% rejection rate (rise begins at later stages of puberty, jumping from 2% to 38.6% between 15 and 16, 73% at 17) Subjects possessing a Y chromosome have a 98.56% rejection rate. Due to this, it is generally considered most ethical to recruit agents no younger than 13 and no older than 15.

>>22376126
So how many magical boys and magical women are in the bureau?

>>22376126
Can a subject quit the Bureau? Won't the subject wish to be reunite with her family?

>>22376126
R-State has been mentioned several times; what is it?

Also, we are paramilitary; what interactions do we have with legitimate government agencies such as the FBI, NSA, MI5, FSB, and GSG9?
Do we provide a code-word of some kind to let them know that they've just stepped into a classified mess, or are they antagonists(at least, any more than any intelligence agency is to another)?

File: 1357243880431.jpg-(96 KB, 788x670, NSA agents and a Bureau Agent.jpg)

Your last piece of toast in mouth, you throw on a particularly oversized coat and leave your apartment. You happen to live in a nice section of town, and have managed to convince your neighbors that your some kind of girl genius attending University on the other side of the continent from home. Old Man Henderson is the only one on your floor whose awake right now, and he gives you a friendly wave that you return in kind.

You're fairly sure you see him reading a newspaper on actual paper. Who the hell has that kind of disposable income?

Crazy old men aside, you don't run into much trouble on the way out of the building. It's a few dozen stories down an elevator, a quick walk through and empty lobby, and a muttering of thanks that old Alex back at Base hacked the government's surveilance system. You wince as some kid you've seen hanging around during school hours get picked up bodily by a pair of truancy drones, and consider yourself lucky that it's not you.

You wouldn't last a day in the joint. Too much drama, too many shitty priorities, and too few opportunities to beat the crap out of someone without consequence. Really, just not your style.

But no, there's no trouble on the way out. It's just outside that the trouble begins.

Standing there, as if they were waiting for you, were the two spooks from the NSA who you ran into at the airport. Dressed like a cliche out of a bad spy flick, you are having a tough time controlling your urge to kick them in the shin again. Fuckers nearly got you and that Agent from Japan killed in the name of "National Security."

"Ms... Constantine, was it?" the bigger of the two asks. "We're here to debrief you regarding the incident at Arkham International. It's a matter of national security, If you would come with us..."

Your repressing get's a bit harder. Do these fucks not understand what a Rose Garden Incident is? There's a fucking agreement - you stay out of our way, we stay out of yours.

>>22376544
Forgot the
>What do you do?

>>22376544
eh, go with them, we can always punch our way out.

>>22376544
"I will cooperate, however, I'm formally filing a complaint with the Agency that you are interfering with a time-sensitive operation, code word ROSE GARDEN. If you do not have sufficient clearance for it, then arrange for someone with sufficient clearance to handle my debrief. Are we clear?"

>>22376544
>Your last piece of toast in mouth
I don't get that. Why not just (a) hold it, if you're going outside right off or (b) put it down somewhere if you've got more preparations to do?

Polite sage.

>>22376645
Supporting this.

>>22376126
Does this also render the subject biologically immortal?

>>22376260
Probably very few since the procedure's simply not DONE to them.
Even if 2% could survive it's unlikely agents would take them unless it was one of their own and they were desperate for a Cure.

>>22376818
but they had to find out it was 2% somehow.

>>22376859
Sure, but I doubt any of those people are still around, seeing how such a job's pretty lethal and it's highly doubtful the Bureau is younger than 30 years.

Once they learned of the high mortality rate they must have started doing it to those demographics less and less till the perils of the profession took away those people that were still around from the early days.

>>22376544
Hey Bureau, got an email you can drop me? I got something that's right up your alley.

Another Quest Runner

File: 1357245728868.jpg-(41 KB, 653x600, Agent Bowie.jpg)

"Fine, fine," you say. "But make it quick."

Almost sarcastically, you put out your hands like a criminal surrendering to the police drones. You sure as hell weren't expecting the agents to slap a set of zip cuffs over your wrists. Or to rather bodily manhandle you into the waiting, unlicensed black vehicle. Which, peering over the barrier between you and the front seats, lacks both autonav and GPS.

Well, fuck.

"I'll be filing a formal complaint, by the way," you deadpan at them. They seem to have no fucks to give. "There's been another Rose Garden incident, and unfortunately for your debriefers, this one's rather time sensitive." You sigh. "I do hope you have the proper clearance. From what I understand, you've got the most incessant bureaucracy, and I really don't have the time for you to cut through the red tape."

The one riding shotgun turns back towards you. Appropriately enough, he has a shotgun in his hand. One of the new models, armor piercing, ferro-tungsten, and magnetically accelerated.

"I wasn't aware that clearance was necessary to deal with illegal militias," he says. "And, quite frankly, my higher ups agree."

>What do you do?

>>22377032
Time to explode his face, I think. This is a waste of our time.

>>22377032
"Is that so? And is this policy change agency-wide, or just your little section?"

Looks like we might need to use a spell.

>>22377032
"Sir, I appreciate your vigilantism and IN-CO-RUPP-TI-BLE ::drag it the word out:: sense of justice but, quite frankly, you're in way over your heads, mildly put".

"Tell me, who are these superiors of yours, and do they realize that they're on thin ice?"

We might be able to irritate them into talking, seeing how actual pros wouldn't even bother explaining OR make the mistake of getting onto our turf.

File: 1357246275770.jpg-(148 KB, 401x600, Primary Color Red.jpg)

>>22376260
=====
Codex: Procedure Survivors

There are exactly 144 male agents who survived the Procedure from the initial test population of 10,000. Most of these are still in active field service throughout the world, though three of them (known collectively as the Primary Colors) are in Logistics. Holding the Forms of Red, Green, and Blue, they are in charge of overseeing the chromatic draining of sensitive electronics.

Only 50 adults survived the Procedure from the initial test populations of 10000 men and 10000 women. They serve primarily in command positions, as their control over their Forms is considered less than sufficient for field use.

Rolled 11

>>22377032
Can we try to fool it? Rolling for sweat talk
"I bet you aren't aware that I'm a double agent, too. Please release me now so I can explain properly the rest of the plan."

>>22377032
We are recording this, correct?
Any way to send a message to the Bureau?

Be ready to use Perfect Form or Perfect Self.

>>22377192
You're seriously going to try something that unlikely to work?

>>22377156
colours are primary forms? awesome

>>22377304
B-but they probably blindly follow orders. So if we could find a way to make them believe we are their superior, everything would be okay. Using our magic, we can probably guess/discover any password or secret that only a superior would know, right?

>>22377448
We're talking about the NSA, not Homeland Security.

Rolled 41

>>22377152
What could possibly go wrong?
Rolling for this

File: 1357248021857.jpg-(248 KB, 1544x812, Agent Bowie 2.jpg)

"Is that so~ooo?" you say, dragging the word on sweetly. "And is this policy change agency wide, or just your little section?"

The man refuses to respond. Rather grating on your nerves, if you ask yourself.

"Well, sir, I must commend your viligance," you deadpan. "Between it and your inco~oruptable sense of justice, you may well succeed in getting us all killed." You can't help but snort. "Well, I guess National Security will be secured - won't be any threats anymore. Though everyone will dead, so there might not be much of a point."

His face betrays nothing. His grip, however, betrays a simmering rage burning beneath his skin.

"Turn the barrier off." He orders the driver.

"Sir, procedure sa-" You hear the clicking of the shotgun. "...Yes, sir."

The gun is now in your face, a bit to close for comfort if you ask yourself. The man's face and voice betray no emotion, but you can tell his self control is slipping.

"Listen well, Ms. Constantine," he says. "The NSA cannot allow a mercenary organization with your firepower to operate within the borders of the United States. So, respectfully, I'm going to have to ask you to tell me everything you know about this 'Bureau's' command structure."

He smirks a little. "You are not exactly inexpendable, however, so if you do not cooperate, you may find yourself dead." The shotgun looms on your brow.

>>22377685
Forgot
>What do you do?

>>22377685
Can we headbutt his shotgun so that the barrel bends?

>>22377685
Are our hands in front of us or behind us?

If in front, we can use Perfect Form and possibly Perfect Self.
Headbutt the shotgun with enough force to break the agent's grip, grab it with our hands, and take it away. Then we kill the driver and start interrogating with buckshot to the knees.

>>22377764
You just need to roll for it

Melee is 1d20+Strength, which is only 4. You do have Perfect Self, which turns all stats 10, and Perfect Form, which is an auto critical on a physical action.

>>22377685
"You're a funny man. The Bureau is a rather vengeful operation, I'll give you that for free, so if you don't let me go and through some miracle actually manage to kill me your career will die a sad little death, any family you care about will be taken from you."

I'm considering using Referer's Intution to say something like "You have a daughter, correct? 10 years old, cute as a button, doesn't have that many friends, reads a lot. She'd make an excellent Agent, she wouldn't even remember you. Now get that shotgun out of my face."

>>22377685
"I'm going to kill you now."

Then do so.

>>22377853
This man does not appear to be the type to cave like that. Seems he's got something personal against the Bureau.

I think we need to make an example of him.

>>22377916
People always cave when it's their family, especially their daughter. Telling him that killing us means his daughter will disappear and never remember him ought to put him in line.

>>22377945
I think you overestimate the likelihood of this man breaking, especially a member of a respected intelligence agency.

>>22377945
Who's to say he even has a daughter?

>>22378030
Referer's Intuition. Guesses are correct if not reality violating, given that it's possible that this man has a wife and daughter we can guess that and he will.

File: 1357249974804.gif-(2.58 MB, 700x394, Joanna, use Headbutt!.gif)

The gun doesn't really do this job of intimidating you - it's not like it has much on the things that you fight when it's not your day off - and quite frankly you think that these motherfucks need to be made an example of. Your Form course through you, the compiler in your brain flashing with the command prompt "Perfect Form". The world seems to slow down for a moment as adrenaline courses through you, and you act as is most natural.

You slam your head down on the shotgun.

The weapon bends and crumbles like it was made of playdough, a rather impressive accomplishment given that it had been made primarily of graphene and carbon fibers. Faster than he or the other agent can react, you tear free of you restraints - which were also carbon fiber - and wrap them around the driver's neck.

The other agent, whose nametag you can now spot, reaches for a gun, which you kick away as fast as he draws it. His hand now broken, you kick him in the head for good measure. He's down, but you've got bigger problems than some dumbfuck pulling a gun on you.

Namely, the whole "driver's dead and the car is about to crash" thing that's been going on.

"Well, fuck."

The car swerves off the road, fortuitously empty at this hour of the morning, and proceeds to crash itself into a maintenance alley. Though some of the more delicate instruments are broken, the property damage you succeed in inflicting totals less than $400,000. You are left with one dead driver, one NSA agent bleeding out, a flaming wreck of a car, and a few bruises.

Man that tactical driving course was worth it.

>What do you do?

>>22378196
Drag the NSA agent out, break a knee and his fingers for good measure, and call up the Bureau that some fuck-ups from the NSA tried to break the agreement, and now we've got an agent that needs to have his memories ripped and made an example of.

Oh, and ask for a pickup.

>>22378259
Seconding this.

>>22378196
kick the agent in the head, then run/jump to where we need to be before the perfect form wears off.

>>22378259
>Oh, and ask for a pickup.
And a snack.

Having to deal with incompetent, stupid people makes us hungry.

Hm... muffins might be good.

Rolled 72

>>22378298
Agent Fatty McFat.

Rolled 75

>>22378321
We probably tend to snap a few tendons when somebody calls us that, especially since we're perfectly trained and healthy.

>>22378259
Oh, and make sure to get any ID, and devices off of them. See if they've got NSA ID.
We should pocket that gun, too.
We need to take any communication devices they've got so that they can't be tracked.

And even if we call for a pickup, we should start moving away from this car, and find a place where we can stash the unconscious agent.

Rolled 28

-Search agent
-Move
-Conduct further searching.
-Call for pick up and snacks

In that order.
Everyone in agreement?

>>22378449
Don't forget:
- break surviving agent's knee and fingers

We don't want him escaping or being able to fight.

Rolled 21

>>22378449
>>22378493
That'd come after moving him and us, I guess.
Just do a quick check and get the fuck out of there, then give him the proper treatment and call for our transport and snacks.

File: 1357251786282.jpg-(202 KB, 430x900, Joanna disapproves.jpg)

"See," you huff, dragging the barely conscious body of... Agent D. Bowie, if his ID is at all accurate, from the burning wreckage. "This sort of bullshit is why I hate assignments where we gotta play nice with the alphabet soup. Always try this fucking cloak and dagger horsecrap."

You pat him down, and find a Braun and Hammer Wasp tucked into the fold of his jacket - this tiny little thing that fires guided bullets with enough force to knock a few heads off. A few smacks, and he's awake.

"I'm pretty sure I know how this ends," Bowie says. "I die, you plant some alocohol on my friend, the cops get called, and it's all dismissed as some punk joyriding without an autonav." He coughs. "Am I right?"

You break he kneecaps, and he winces.

"Was that really necessary?" he wheezes. He notices you taking out his phone, and searching the car for his buddy's. "Well I suppose that is, if you don't want the NSA coming after you."

You remain silent, and wrap a magstrip around each of them, before sliding them into the middle of the road. It takes a minute, but eventually a car drives past the alleyway, and the two phones leap up and attach to its bottom. That should keep them running for a little while yet. Obfuscation complete, you open up an encrypted channel to Base.

"Hey, Base," you say. "This is Agent 029. I just got picked up by some NSA fucks that got it in their head to try to bring us down. I need a cleanup crew and a pick-up." You pause for a moment. "And send Dave with the pickup. I could use a blueberry muffin."

"Acknowledged, 029," the computerized voice answers. "Pick up is on it's way. Dave was reassigned to HQ, though, so we're sending Gabby. Hope you don't mind cranberries. Pick up will be there in 5."

You sigh. Always gotta settle for second best these days.

>What do you do?

>>22378644
Take Agent Bowie's shoes off. Then take a sock off, and stuff it in his mouth. Gag him so that he can't bite his tongue off.

"You know, I'm really disappointed in you. MI5 at least knows how to treat a lady right, FSB would have blown their cortex bomb by now, and Mossad...well, Mossad would have blown up the entire city block by now to cover their tracks."

Rolled 12

How old are we chronologically?

>>22378709
The poser route?
I can dig it.

>>22378918
I think we're 29? Our body is most likely locked in anywhere from 13 to 15, given normal Bureau recruitment ages.

Bureau was founded in 2017, and it's at least 2031 now.

>>22378918
We're not exactly a poser. We've been with the Bureau long enough, and at least we've worked internationally at least once. We've probably met agents from the relevant agencies, and had to endure their bullshit to know their regular MO. At the least, we've probably heard from other Field Agents how the international intelligence community feels about the Bureau, and each agency's stereotyped behavior.

File: 1357253498760.jpg-(151 KB, 480x640, Joanna With Gun.jpg)

While you wait, you decide to better secure the prisoner. You tap his shoes to make sure that they don't contain anything like a boot knife, and once the seven razors tucked away inside of it are secured, you remove them. You then take one of his socks off.

"Oh," he asks a bit dazedly, "what are you going to do with that, Ms. Constantine?"

You then shove it inside of his mouth. He seems a bit relieved, and tries to speak through the makeshift gag. You can almost make out what he's saying.

"Oh," He seems to say. "That's what you're going to do with that."

Isn't really much else you can think of doing while you wait. You contemplate taunting him, but really, that sort of shit is dull if they aren't able to participate in the verbal spar. It's all kind of disappointing - usually, the NSA wouldn't have even asked to debrief 'suspicious persons'. They would have just bagged you and ran.

A few warning bells go off in your head, and you make a mental note to check the veracity of the IDs you swiped from them.

Before long, a nondescript van pulls up to your located. You palm the Wasp, just in case, as this sort of transport is the type of thing that pretty much all the alphabet soups tend to use. You're a bit relieved when Gabby steps out from the driver's seat, and a few Cranberry Muffin golems get to work cleaning the place up. Gabby flicks her wrist, and tosses a conjured muffin your way.

"Where to, Joey?"

>What do you do?

>>22379059
Hand her the ID's we nicked.
Let's go to that warehouse we were assigned, then Gabby can take Bowie to Base for interrogation.

>>22379059
"I wanted blueberry.

Well, we've got this alphabet soup motherfucker. I'd like to drop him off for someone to question him and get some answers, he's not acting like they normally do and I'm too busy to do it myself."

>>22379059
Balance a shoe on the agent's head. Then head back to the bureau, i guess.

>>22379059
Drag him back to the nearest Bureau safehouse, and see if an appropriately trained agent can interrogate him.

File: 1357254995538.jpg-(26 KB, 210x347, JASMIn.jpg)

You are tempted to complain about how the cranberry muffin isn't blueberry, but you remember that Gabby tends to react poorly everytime someone points out that her Form is less beloved than Dave's. Letting the clean-up crew, such as it is, get the clean-up done, you grab the rather baffled looking Agent Bowie.

"See, this is why our little organization is given free reign," you whisper to him. "Shit be whack, and we specialize in dealing with the whackest of shit."

Seeing you attempt to drag the much larger man towards the Van, one of the Muffin Golems comes over to you and lends you a hand. Patting it on one of it's berries, you go back over to Gabby, who from her far away expression is probably pouring over one logistics report or another.

"I need a lift to Sixth and Yoeman, myself," you tell her, "As for Mr. Bowie, I've got a bad feeling about that guy. Something's off about him, he wasn't following what we know about NSA procedures."

"Processing, then?" Gabby asks.

"Yeah, Processing," you reply, taking out the IDs. "And give to to one of the infospecialists. I'm not entirely convinced that they're authentic."

"All right. I'll stick here and clean things up, JASMIn will cover transport."

You step into the van's front seat, and the windshield lights up with pink text on black, mostly the dossiers on the agents you sent the message out to. A mechanical voice, much more pleasant and feminine than the one over the phone, greets you.

"Welcome to JASMIn, Agent 029. Destinations set." It pauses. "Was it really necessary to break both of Mr. Bowie's kneecaps?"

>What do you do?

>>22379467
"It might not have been necessary, but he did deserve it."

Get to our base of operations, see what we have available to us there, and start getting data on the case. See if there's a history of freaky shit happening in the vicinity of where the incident we're investigating happened.

>>22379467
"Yes, yes it was."

And yeah, lets proceed to the rendezvous point.

I just wanted to say I love how OP is running with everything in this quest. It's good.

>>22379467
>Was it really necessary to break both of Mr. Bowie's kneecaps?
He'll be fine, if he is, in fact, Agent Bowie. Otherwise, he'll have more issues than broken kneecaps.

File: 1357257239971.jpg-(494 KB, 850x601, Warehouse.jpg)

>>22379666
>Trips confirmed for Truth

"Yes, yes it was," you tell the AI. "The fuck was waving a shotgun at me. Breaking kneecaps was the least he deserved."

The AI's avatar flickers for a moment.

"Fair enough. Proceeding to destination."

The van's engine kicks in. It's a new model, developed in house by some of the Bureau's technicians, capable of travelling seventeen hundred clicks on a single charge at seventy nine percent of top speed. Or fourhundred clicks if you needed to get somewhere ASAP. It doesn't take long for JASMIn to get you to the warehouse, and fortuitously, no misfortunate incidents occur along the way.

Other than the occasional whine from the fucker in the back. But Mr. Bowie's complaints don't really count.

The Warehouse itself is rather nondescript, flanked by a dry cleaner and a convenience store which were both probably bought out by different shell corporations owned by the Bureau. There's a fairly small door out in the front, and an open garage filled with paint and rennovation supplies. Atop the door is your shell corporation's symbol, a box holding the outline of a rose, above blocky text reading Rose Corp Ltd.

You open the door and enter. A laser scanner passes over you, and a light flashes over your right eye as your retina is scanned. The machine satisfied, the wall to your left descends, and you suspect that the secondary door is hiding a few autoturrets. You flick on the lights, and you see a cavernous room filled to the brim with boxes of munitions, weapons, gear, and a few vehicles.

>What do you do?

>>22380048
Okay, get a decent idea of what we have available to us. And start the research, if there's a history of odd stuff happening where we're looking into we might be able to get some reasons why and how it's happening.

>>22380048
Take a stock of what we've got access to. Check in on the rest of our team to see their ETA.

>>22380131
>>22380157

Seconding.

Also send a message out to the others to be wary of NSA agents. Bowie may not be alone in his actions.

Hey OP, where can I drop you a line outside of the threads?

>>22380327
Thirding this post.

File: 1357259130190.jpg-(184 KB, 800x616, Gertrude.jpg)

You notice a circular table tucked away from the vehicles, with a file floating over it. Checking the metadata, said file is geotagged to that location, and encrypted based upon your genome. You sigh, hating this particular part of the process, and flip open the sequencer stuck to your glasses. One pricked thumb and a few seconds later, you've been sequenced, and the file becomes unlocked.

:Welcome to THE BUREAU, Logistics Devision
:Verifying user...
:...
:...
:...
:User Verified.
:Welcome Agent 029.
:Accessing Requisitions for Operation: Bunny...
:...
:...
:Accessed.
:>Sidearms Accessed
:4x Braun and Hammer Wasp
:2x Smith and Western Colt
:5x Tactical Knife
:2x Tactical Machete
:
:>Light Weapons Accessed
:5x Braun and Hammer T100 Bullpup
:2x Golberg A17 Urban Assault Coilgun
:
:>Medium Weapons Accessed
:3x Smith and Western I19 Assault Railgun
:3x Braun and Hammer T4 Tactical Marksman's Coilgun
:
:>Heavy Weapons Accessed
:1x Goldberg 'Terminator' A100 Heavy Railgun
:1x Braun and Hammer T500 Heavy Machinegun
:1x Boeing Light Missile Pod (Vehicular)
:
:>Vehicles Accessed
:3x Ford and General 'Stallion' Motorcycle
:1x Ford and General 'Bulldog' Armored Personel Carrier
:1x Boeing 'Comet' Light VTOL Transport

>What do you do?

>>22380394
[email protected]

>>22380505
I, uh, a VTOL? Wow.

Let's check on the messages we sent out to potential team members. Has anyone replied? Has anyone come off duty?

>>22380505
Well now we need the rest of the team to get here so we can figure out how to divy up all this gear.

>>22380505

Take Braun and Hammer Wasp to supplement the one we stole, a tactical knife, and one Bullpup.

Go over the files to determine the likely locations we can search.

Ideal locations would be our friend's home (check for intel), the area she was operating in, and any NSA or government facilities that may be doubled as a secure fortress.

File: 1357261271682.png-(549 KB, 905x798, Hilda Asleep.png)

You're a bit awed at the amount of resources you have been allocated for the purposes of this mission. You aren't quite sure why they chose to give you a fucking jettibird of all things, unless they thought that Belinda had been extracted from the city. That would be problematic to say the least. You belt an additional Wasp, and lazily sling one of the Bullpups over your shoulder - you'll leave the heavier weapons to your squaddies.

Speaking of which, a few notifications flash in the corner of your vision. You poke the incessant thing, which has taken Hilda's face as its icon.

The image of her tucked under a beadsheet pops up, and from the angle you can see that she isn't alone in there. You make a slight noise of disgust, and a few mutterings about disgusting pedophiles. Hilda's face is filled with worry, and you decide to focus on the message rather than any of the disgusting, disgusting thoughts running through your head.

"So they took Belinda, and we're gonna go kill them all?" She asks, her voice rather sad. "Sounds like fun. I'll be there in an hour, just need to tell Heinrich that I'm gonna be out for a little while."

You frown. Given the timeframes, she should be here any minute now, which doesn't give you much time to prepare a strategy. Unless she and this... Heinrich pedophile are doing disgusting things as a "goodbye." Nope. You're not going to think about that.

You might be a little bit jealous of the older girl though.

None of the other agents have responded to your message yet - they've probably turned off wake up notifications because *they* figured that no one would buzz them on their day off. Maybe you should have done that too. But then maybe you'd have been bagged and tagged by those NSA fucks.

>What do you do?

>>22381106
Fuckin pedos.

Until she gets here it's time for research, research, and more research. We need to collect all the data we can on the mission, the mission location, anything we can dig up on the eldritch abominations that Belinda referred to.

>>22381338

Seconding.

Do research, ping everyone who hasn't responded two more times, and if that doesn't do it, load up the APC with everyone's preferred armaments and get ready to make appropriate stops at each member's place.

>>22381106
Might also want to give a heads up to the ones that are on duty right now as seconds, and give them the warning about possible NSA fucks snooping around.

File: 1357263360464.png-(1.37 MB, 1000x1250, Joanna at a terminal.png)

The very image of professionalism, you decide that it would be best if you ping everyone who isn't here yet. And send a general warning out to everyone on duty about NSA fuckwits and their incoming assholishness.

=====
To: All
From: Joanna

:Recording Begin

"Hey guys, we have a problem. Some motherfuckers from the NSA have been going around trying to apprehend agents and get infos on the Bureau. We've got on in processing, so hopefully we'll have infosupremacy soon. My advice: muderate the shitheads. If you prefer not to murderate, capture them for processing.

And most of all, be on your guard."

:Recording End
=====

=====
To:Amy, Carmina, Gertrude

:#Autorun{soundfile:airhorn.mp3}
:
:Begin Recording

"Wake up sleepyheads. We've got a mission. Previous message has details."
=====

=====
To:Hilda

:#Autorun{soundfile:BowChickaWowWow.mp3}
:
:Begin Recording

"Hilda, stop fucking your pedo boyfriend and gtf over here."
=====

After being the pinnacle of professionalism, you open up the infosupremacy suite for the mission.

:Welcome to THE BUREAU
:Agent 029 Verified
:Acessing Infosupremacy...
:...
:...
:...
:Accessed
:What would you like to know?
:>Location Data
:>Location History
:>R-State Parameters
:>Threat Classification Parameters
:
:Additional Applications
:>Voice Identifier
:>Agent Tracker
:>R-State Tracker

>What do you do?

>>22381678

>Location Data
>Location History
>Threat Classification Parameters

>R-State Tracker
What is this and how would we use it?

>>22381678
Let's start with it's History then look at current data and R-State parameters.

Once we get a look at that we can synch up Belinda's Agent Tracker Data to the field report she gave and see if we can learn anything from it.

File: 1357264249576.png-(20 KB, 508x505, R State 1.png)

>>22381740
=====
Codex: R-State

The R-State - or, Reality State - of a particular area is the number of extraspacial dimensional layers imposed upon reality within said area. The higher the R-state of an area, the more likely supernatural activity will occur and/or higher dimensional beings will be made manifest. At an R-State of 0, there are three spacial dimensions perceivable, embedded within a single dimension of time constantly moving forward.

An R-state of 1 allows a fourth spacial dimension to manifest - generally, the least mind-fucky of the variant r-states. Those who utilize the power of a platonic form have a local r-state of 1, as well as any impermanent or permanent constructs they craft through the knowledge of their Form. Chromatically drained materials, and the WAN operated by the Bureau exist at an r-state of 1.

An R-state of 2 allows a fifth spacial dimension to manifest, and runs the risk of manifest higher dimensional creatures, which are generally not friendly. The highest recorded r-state is believed to be allude to in [REDACTED], written [REDACTED] years before [REDACTED], at an r-state of 57.

File: 1357265837105.jpg-(67 KB, 546x685, Joanna 2.jpg)

:>Access Location History
:Accessing...
:...
:Location History Accessed

=====
Codex: Site 029
Location: New Dunwich, MA
Discovery: September 29, 2039

Site 029 has been under surveilance for two and a half years. Prior to surveillance, the number of supernatural activities reported within the area was 5% (±5.2%) higher than the annual average for the Northeastern United States, and 2% (±3.1%) lower than the annual average for the City of New Dunwich. At 13:29:09 on September 29, 2039, a spontaneous increase in r-state occurred, peaking at r=7 (±0.9) before coming to settle at an average of r=2.222 (±0.1). At the moment of the spike, no higher dimensional being were observed manifest, and the site was recognized and filed as a Class 3 (Safe) abnormal location.

On March 21, 2042, a new spike in r-state was recorded at Site 029, and is presently holding stable at r=5.6 (±.4). Surveilance teams have been sent to the site, and it have been reclassified as a Class 2 (Erratic) abnormal location, pending reclassification to Class 2 (Dangerous) if higher dimensional beings manifest. If r-state is not reduced in 7 days, a forward team led by Belinda Rogers will be sent on site to apply procedure Greenberg-014.
=====

:>Access Location Data
:Accessing...
:...
:...
:...
:Location Data Accessed

=====
Codex: Site 029 Data
Location: New Dunwich, MA
Discovery: September 29, 2039
R-State: 5.6 (±.4)
Threat Level: Class 2 (Dangerous)
Greenberg-014 Priority: Ronin-1
Taskforce Assigned: B. Rogers
Taskforce Status: MIA
Area Radius: 400m
Area Population: 329
====

>What do you do?

>>22382427
Access the R-State Parameters and Threat Classification Parameters.

We will then attempt to synch up Belinda's Agent Tracker Data with her field report to see where she was when she was taken, and the R-State Tracker to see what the R-State of the location was like at the time.

>>22382483

Seconded.

See if we can't contact any other surveilance teams in the area for more intel.

Also bring up a list of the incredibly small town population, as well as the layout of the town. Find out where the church is, where the town hall is, where a secret underground cavern is most likely to be, etc.

>>22382532
(Sorry, thought I was >implying, but the Warehouse is in New Dunwich, and site 029 is at the corner of a major street and a minor street on the outskirts of town. You're one street over (sixth to fifth) and four streets down (Yoeman to Xavier to Xander to Weston). It covers about three buildings, an abandoned apartment building and two smaller occupied ones).

>>22381911
>be allude to in [REDACTED], written [REDACTED] years before [REDACTED]
Something along the lines of the Pnakotic Manuscripts, 450 million years, and the human era, yes?

>>22382483
This, pretty much. Hit up the Location Data first, though, so we have context for the record of her disappearance.

File: 1357267229170.jpg-(35 KB, 428x500, Joanna 3.jpg)

:>Access R-State Parameters
:Accessing...
:...
:...
:...
:R-State Parameter's Accessed

=====
Codex: Site 029 R-State Parameters
Location: New Dunwich, MA
Discovery: September 29, 2039

R-State Occillation over the past 24 hours: 2.5 (±0.2)
Peak R-State: 7.1 (±0.1) (0:14:31 03/29/42)
Minimum R-State: 4.6 (±0.1) (10:29:47 03/28/42)
Mean R-State: 5.6 (±0.4)
Median R-State: 4.9 (±0.1)
=====

You decide that a good start to the investigation would to check to correllation between R-State Fluctuations, Belinda's Field Report Metadata, and the Agent Tracker Data. It'll take you a few minutes to write up the code, but being an agent closer to Command than most, you've picked up a few tricks. You get to typing.

>Action Type: Skillful. Roll 1d20+Intelligence. Magic Use is Optional.
>What do you do?

>>22382819
Are you looking at my notes, Anon?

Rolled 2 + 8

>>22382908

Cross reference the R-State Fluctuations, Belinda's Field Report Metadata, and the Agent Tracker Data to develop a timeline building up to Belinda's disappearance that includes the locations Belinda had been investigating and her last known position.

This should also include, if possible, R-State Fluctuations that are beyond what Belinda could cause, so we can determine just exactly what/who we're dealing with.

Rolled 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1 + 8 = 28

>>22382928
Nah, we just read the same sources.

>>22382908
>two-digit year format
HISSSSSSSSS

We're almost into autosage and we've used -- by my count -- exactly one CSM, so we can probably afford to use Superbia Maxima here.

Rolled 16 + 8

>>22382908
Pretty much this >>22383218

File: 1357270236309.png-(963 KB, 1000x1217, SUPERBIA MODE ACTIVE.png)

Just to be safe, you burn through a handful of power, letting the Form of Arete flood your mind. You breathe deeply and close your eyes, basking for a moment in your own perfection. The eyes then open ablaze with the blue fires of mankind's apex, and your mind becomes unshackled by the petty boundaries of the mortal coil. There is in the background the sound of the door opening, but you care not; it fails to register entirely.

In this moment, as your minds eye blazes the words SUPERBIA MAXIMA, you are perfection incarnate.

"Bah," you say to the screen as its processor fails to keep up with your typing, "What foolish fuckwit wrote this pathetically under-fucking developed language, and DARED TO CALL IT CODE? It is unfit to run even the basest of programs! Yet here I sit, forcing myself to adopt its base syntax to my genius. Perhaps I should create my own fucking language..."

Hilda stalks up behind you, a thermos filled with the foul liquid in hand. "Will your language have blackjack, and hookers?"

"No, Hilda, it will not!" You glance at her, your glowing blue eyes alight with the fires of madness. "It will, however, have a function to manifest them on a multispacial plane if they are desired." You lean back, typing with one hand so the computer can keep up. "It will even have the capacity to cure your boyfriend!"

Hilda blanches, and pours you a cup. You take it as it is offered, and for some reason, it tastes much less foul.

"Now, BEHOLD!" you declare. "Cross referencing all possible location and r-state data with Belinda's report... and FORECASTING MOVEMENTS AND FUTURE R-STATE SPIKES! PERFECT. INFO. SUPREMACY." You let out a hearty laugh, which dies down as the fire fades from your eyes.

"Right," you cough. "Let's take a look and see where those fuckmothering mofos took Belinda."

>Field too long

>>22383952
:Welcome to THE PERFECT TRACKING PROGRAM
:Version INFINITY PLUS ONE
:ACCESSING DATA...
:...
:...
:DATA OBTAINED.
:ADJUSTING FOR BELINDA'S PRESENCE...
:ADJUSTED.
:R-STATE PEAK OCCURS TWENTY NINE MINUTES BEFORE THE ARRIVAL OF BELINDA'S TEAM
:SUDDEN DROP OFF SUGGESTS EXTRA NORMAL ENTITIES FOOLISH ATTEMPT AT STEALTH
:THE TEAM ARRIVES. R-STATE SPIKES TO 0.5 BELOW PEAK
:SPIKE LASTS UNTIL THE REPORT ENDS
:AFTER ENTERING THE MOST POPULATED BUILDING, BELINDA'S SIGNAL LEAVES AND FOLLOWS THE ROAD.
:15 MINUTES POST ENTERING BUILDING, SPIKE TO PEAK -0.1
:
:CONJECTURE - FUCKMOTHERERS WERE PROFESSIONAL
:POSSIBILITY - BELINDA HAS BEEN CAPTURED BY MOTHERFUCKING CTHULHU
:POSSIBILITY - BELINDA HAS BEEN CAPTURED BY MOTHERFUCKING PARANORMAL CULTISTS
:POSSIBILITY - BELINDA HAS BEEN CAPTURED BY HOSTILES MGs
:CONJECTURE - HIGH R-STATE OCCILATION IS AN ANOMALY
:CONJECTURE - [ENEMY] USING THE LOCATION AS A WAYPOINT.
:CONCLUSION - BURN IT ALL TO A GROUND AS A TRIBUTE TO JOANNA'S GENIUS. AFTER WE RESCUE BELINDA

Hilda raises her eyebrow at you. You chuckle a bit - that sort of thing tends to happen whenever you enter Superbia Mode...

>What do you do?