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>>27492285
The next day, and Simo was still busy trying to convince the San Salvacion government to sanction a scouting mission into Erusea. This has left Wraith Team in a bit of a limbo situation, as you didn't really have official orders to do anything in particular, so most of you were left to your own devices, more or less.

Well, you could always hit up Hudson's team, who were probably hanging around here somewhere. Though you've talked to Hudson and Reznov, you really didn't know the rest of the Emmerian team that well. Last you say they had gone off with Bragg and Runaround.

Meanwhile, you see Menendez, Falynn, and Charlotte at the West gate. Oddly enough, you see Menendez and Falynn in some sort of enthusiastic conversation. Since when did the two of them grow so close?

And finally, you can see Lucina, Morgan, and Mary-Kate at the top of the wall, apparently eying something suspicious or something.

Well, there was still Edwin and Sparky, but they were still in the infirmary and the doctors here were much more strict. No visitors. In addition, Lara and her fellow pilots had already left earlier in the morning to return to the Kestrel.

>Find Hudson's team.
>Hit up Menendez and the Twins.
>See what Lucina, Morgan, and MK are up to.

>>27492297
>Hit up Menendez and the Twins.

>>27492297
>Find Hudson's team.

>>27492297
>See what Lucina, Morgan, and MK are up to.
Listening to Hell March whilst reading last night's thread was great fun

>>27492297
>Find Hudson's team.

>>27492297
>>See what Lucina, Morgan, and MK are up to.

Rolled 9 + 5

>>27492297
>See what Lucina, Morgan, and MK are up to.

>>27492297
Changing my vote to
>Find Hudson's team.

Drivers should be able to drive slaves and herds of animals. Maybe even blood.

>>27492297
>See what Lucina, Morgan, and MK are up to.

>>27492297
>Find Hudson's team.

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>>27492297
>>Find Hudson's team.

Let's meet the rest of the operators we'll be operating with!

>>27492297
>Find Hudson's team

>>27492297
>See what Lucina, Morgan, and MK are up to.

>>27492297
>Find Hudson's team

>inb4 the suspicious thing that Lucina, Morgan, and MK are looking at is really just Brilliant who somehow got lost in Europa and ended up here.

>>27492297
>>Find Hudson's team.

Rolled 10, 16 = 26

>27492297

>See what Lucina, Morgan, and MK are up to.>>27492297

>>27492297
You seem to recall Hudson and his team moving off to the motor pool, so you decide to make your way over there. You wave your way through all of the parked jeeps, trucks, tanks, and transports until you can see Trombe sitting in the back. Oddly enough, it wasn't quite in line with the rest of the vehicles, like it was hiding something behind it. You can also hear lots of talking, though you can't quite make out exactly what is being said.

Curious, you walk around the vehicle, and see Bragg, Runaround, and Hudson's team all gathered around a makeshift still, most of them with drinks in their hands.

>What the heck is going on, here?
>Isn't this like, illegal, or something?
>You know what, at this point I could probably use a drink, too.
>Other

>>27492581
>>What the heck is going on, here?
Remember what happened last time we got drunk?

>>27492581
>>Isn't this like, illegal, or something?

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>>27492581
>>What the heck is going on, here?

I'm just curious--how the heck did they manage to cobble together a still?

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Is this gonna be like M*A*S*H?

Rolled 19 + 5

>>27492581

>What the heck is going on, here?

then

>other

I'm going to leave now, Not good with booze remember?

>>27492581
>You know what, at this point I could probably use a drink, too.

>>27492581
>What the heck is going on, here?
>Isn't this like, illegal, or something?
>>27492640
We can only hope.
>>27492643
Dice off.

>>27492581
>Isn't this like, illegal, or something?

>>27492581
>Isn't this like, illegal, or something?

>>27492581
"What the heck is going on here?" You blink.

"You're right, he IS pretty slow." Woods cackles to Bragg.

"I can see you've got a still set up." You protest. "But why? And... how?!?"

"Lucas, if you've really got to ask why a man needs a drink, you obviously haven't truly lived." Bragg laughs. "Since all of our supplies have to be shipped in, alcohol is pretty low on priorities, so we gotta make do."

"Trading the surplus to the villagers also has it's boons." Runaround nods.

"Isn't bootlegging illegal?"

"Well, only in Europa." Bragg shrugs. "And... Emmeria too?"

"The government loves their taxes." Mason nods.

"But the thing is, we're not in Europa or Emmeria. We're in San Salvacion, and last I checked the had no official law against brewing your own alcohol, and even if they did, I'd love to see a policeman brave enough to come to the southern border to arrest us."

"As for the how," Runaround joins in. "Falynn actually helped us out a lot with it."

>No way, Falynn wouldn't do something like that... would she?
>Oh, I guess she does have a wild side to her after all.
>Other

>>27492789
>>No way, Falynn wouldn't do something like that... would she?

>>27492789
>No way, Falynn wouldn't do something like that... would she?

>>27492789
>>Oh, I guess she does have a wild side to her after all.

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>>27492789
>>No way, Falynn wouldn't do something like that... would she?

This only brings up the question of how Falynn knows how to cobble together a still.

>>27492819
What the hell am I looking at?

>>27492789
>No way, Falynn wouldn't do something like that... would she?
Oh Lucas, you're so innocent...

DONT DRINK ANYTHING

>>27492819
Jager has VERY weird notions of 'family bonding time'.

>>27492789

>No way, Falynn wouldn't do something like that... would she?

"We known her since we were kids, I might have expected this from Charlotte but her?"

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>>27492832

Huot Automatic Rifle, an LMG developed from the Ross Rifle, a bolt action rifle used by the Canadians during WW1.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Huot_Automatic_Rifle

>>27492865
Ah yes,how can I forget the Ross rifle? Many Canadians in WW1 had a first hand encounter with using them after the bolt flew into their faces.

>>27492789
>Oh, I guess she does have a wild side to her after all.

>>27492640
>>27492657
Keep that damn chicken quiet.
>>27492789
>No way, Falynn wouldn't do something like that... would she?

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>>27492789
"No way, Falynn wouldn't do something like that... would she?" You gasp.

"Lucas, do not underestimate a latent genius who doesn't experience enough challenge in her life." Bragg grins.

"How does she even know how to build a still in the first place?"

"Guess she read it somewhere." Bragg shrugs.

Well, this was certainly something you had to confront Falynn about at some point. However, you suddenly feel two hands starting pinching your cheeks.

"Awww, he's just so adorable!" Chequita cooes as she pulls at your cheeks from behind. Honestly you never even heard her coming! "Hey Lucas, why don't you join up with us? I promise I'll take care of and look out for you~!"

Both Hudson and Mason shake their heads in exasperation, while Woods is in stitches and nearly spills his drink. Bragg and Runaround also join in on the silent laughter. Yeah, great squadmates they were. Weren't they supposed to be watching your back?

>Humor her.
>Reject her offer politely.
>OH HELL NAW
>Other

>>27492987
>>OH HELL NAW

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>>27492987
>>Humor her.

What could possibly go wrong?

>>27492987
>>Reject her offer politely.

>>27492987
>>Reject her offer politely.
If we run, her hunter instincts are liable to kick in

>>27492987
>Other
"Well, what do you know, I am suddenly very thirsty. Someone pass me a drink. Now."

>>27492987
>OTHER
Accept.
I'm joking I'm joking I'm joking I'm joking I'm joking don't do this don't do this I'm joking

>>27492987
>Reject her offer politely.
"I...uh...don't do well with alcohol. Thanks for the invite though!"

>>27492987
>OH HELL NAW
run nigga run

>>27492987
>Humor her.

>>27492987
>Humor her

>>27492987
>>Reject her offer politely.

I would feel a lot safer with you watching my back than this lot... Buuuut I have spent a good year or so working with them so I guess I kind of owe it to them to stick around I guess?
I mean if you guys are alright with that I mean.

>>27492987
>Humor her.

I know this will not get accepted but on the off chance it does, I really want to see what happens

>>27492987
>Humor her.

Don't run, her hunter's instincts would kick in and we'd be raped in a heartbeat.

>>27492987
>>Humor her
Let's play with the murderous cougar.

>>27492987
>Humor her.

>>27492987
OH HELL NAW

>>27492987
>Humor her.

yeeees

>>27492987
>Reject her offer politely.

We don't deal well with Alcohol

Then she pulls out a dress and forces us to wear it.

>>27493148
BETTER YET

>>27492987
>Humor her.
The only way out is through

>>27492987
>OH HELL NAW
avoiding bad end

>>27492987
>Humor her.

Time for Bad End.

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>>27492987
>Humor her.
>>27493148

>>27493223
Fucking Chaquita would result in a bad end how? We get a higher grade of ass than was likely otherwise on a reasonable timescale?

>>27492987
Every instinct in you tells you to try and disengage and run for you life, but your rational mind kicks in and warns you that trying to run away would probably make things worse. From what you could tell, Chequita had a hunter's mindset, the harder something was to obtain, the more she wanted it.

This meant that in order to save yourself, you'd have to throw yourself into her jaws, in a metaphorical sense.

"Haha, really now?" You laugh awkwardly. "What are the benefits for Emmerian soldiers?"

"Well... in the Special Warfare Division, you get to kill whoever you want and do whatever you want with almost zero consequences!" Chequita says with a beaming smile. "As long as you don't caught, of course, but that's half the fun!"

"Okay, that's enough." Hudson sighs. "Let the kid go, Chequita."

"AWWWWWW." Chequita pouts. Yes, you are seeing a grown woman trained killer pouting like a ten year old girl. "Can't we keep him, pleeeaaaase?"

And her grip on you grows ever tighter.

>Point out that she should probably listen to Hudson.
>Plead with Hudson to help you out here.
>You've got no choice but to use THAT.
>Other

>>27493263
>>You've got no choice but to use THAT.

>>27493263
>>You've got no choice but to use THAT.
What is "THAT"? Is it candy?

>>27493263
>You've got no choice but to use THAT.
I don't get the feeling that Hudson is in control of this situation any more

>>27493263
>You've got no choice but to use THAT.
Th-THAT?
LUCINA!

>>27493259
merc said it would be a bad end on twitter

>>27493263
haha
>You've got no choice but to use THAT.

I bet it is our hair!

>>27493290
fluffy hair'd be my guess

>>27493263
>>You've got no choice but to use THAT.

CASE BLUE CASE BLUE

>>27493303
oh that is crap! way to spoil!

>>27493263
>>You've got no choice but to use THAT.

Is it candy? Fluffy hair? Both?

>>27493263
>>You've got no choice but to use THAT.
Well shit, now I have to now what THAT is.

>>27493311
Maybe we should give her a caramel or something after she lets us go. We don't want to leave her upset.

>>27493263
>>You've got no choice but to use THAT.

Lucas really needs a rape whistle. Hopefully it will work.

>>27493319
it seemed pretty easy to guess seeing how she is a nutter

>>27492889
I love how despite the fact that the bolt stop lug physically stopped the bolt from over-travel, and that the Mk1 and Mk2 rifles which had the main problems, were phased out and almost all troops were given working Mk3's, this myth still perpetuates, but please, keep being ignorant

>>27493263
>>You've got no choice but to use THAT.
I don't know what "that" is, but we should use it. For reasons.

>>27493360
The rape whistle never works.

>>27493263
>>You've got no choice but to use THAT.
Gatei?

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>>27493360
It never works you fool

>>27493481
>>27493453
Look then we need a way to weaponize our fluffy hair and a ability to become a maid

>>27493536
I'm now picturing Lucas charging an enemy encampment head first, howling like a madman. "TOUCH MY HAIR! TOOOOOUUUCH MYYYYY HAAAAAAIIIIR!"

The enemies scatter to the four winds, terrified, and filled with a strange desire to touch the hair.

>>27493536
I just imagined a grenade with bits of our hair in it

>>27493263
Well, you really didn't want to, but it looks like you'd have to resort to it. You'd have to use THAT.

Fortunately for you, Chequita's face is already pretty close to your head, so all you need to do is shift your head a bit to the side and rub your fluffy hair all along her cheek.

"Aaaaah~!" Chequita squeals before falling over, a dreamy look on her face. "So... FLUFFY! Oh god I'm gonna die..."

This time EVERYBODY starts laughing and spilling their drinks. Bragg actually almost knocks the still over.

"Holy shit, kid!" Woods cackles. "We've seen and fought some serious shit over the past few years, but never have I seen anything take down Chequita as fast as you did!"

"Oh man she's never going to live down this one!" Mason laughs. "Give me the camera, Woods, we gotta save this for posterity!"

Hudson doesn't laugh out loud, but the restrained grin he's giving suggest he's on the verge.

"Damn, Lucas." Bragg laughs and wraps an arm around you. "I always wondered why the girls always had their eyes on you, and now I know! Hair like that is a borderline war crime!"

"Oh yeah, I'm going to have to report this to the UN." Hudson nods. "We've just found a new WMD."

"Hey, that's not funny guys." You frown. "Chequita's really scary!"

"Well, I think you'd better be hauling ass, kid." Woods says, getting a new drink for himself. "Or Chequita's gonna start grabbing it when she wakes up!"

You nod and quickly make your escape. Hudson and his guys were certainly interesting, though Chequita was definitely the most scary of the lot. Before you know it, you're back at the center of the base. Everybody seems to be gone, but you're pretty sure you've got a good idea where they went.

>Go to the top of the wall to see if you can find Lucina's group.
>Go to the West gate to see if you can find Menedez and the Twins.
>Other

>>27493682
>>Go to the top of the wall to see if you can find Lucina's group.


>>27493536
Maybe we can sneak into secure areas with our ability to disguise as a maid and set up a firing position by hiding an LMG in the skirt. Hell, maybe Morgan can disguise herself as a butler as well.

>>27493682

>Go to the top of the wall to see if you can find Lucina's group.

>>27493682
BEHOLD OUR SECRET WEAPON!

>>27493682
>Go to the top of the wall to see if you can find Lucina's group.

>>27493682
>Go to the top of the wall to see if you can find Lucina's group.

>>27493682
>>Go to the top of the wall to see if you can find Lucina's group.
She's the only one who can keep us safe from Chequita.

>>27493682
>>Go to the top of the wall to see if you can find Lucina's group.

Wonder what's got them so focused?

>>27493682
>Go to the top of the wall to see if you can find Lucina's group.

>>27493682
>Go to the West gate to see if you can find Menedez and the Twins.

>>27493682
You climb up to the top of the wall to try and see where Lucina, Morgan, and Mary-Kate went off to. You scan the jungle carefully, trying to find them.

>roll 1d20

Rolled 9

>>27493830

Rolled 6

>>27493830

Rolled 1

>>27493830

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>>27493840
optimism...hoooo......

FUCK!

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>>27493835
>>27493836
>>27493840

>>27493835
>>27493836
>>27493840
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a1QCBF3h_tM

>>27493840
Lucas is about to get rapet

>>27493830
Unfortunately, you can't see them from where you are. They must have moved deeper into the jungle or something.

>Go in after them.
>You probably won't find them. Let's go find Menendez instead.
>Other

>>27493902
>Go in after them.

>>27493902
>>Go in after them.
Time to tempt fate.

>>27493902
>>Go in after them.

>>27493902
>>You probably won't find them. Let's go find Menendez instead.
If Lucina doesn't want to be found, she won't be found.

>>27493902
>Go PT.

You don't get to be a soldier without some sweat.

>>27493902
>Go in after them.

Rolled 18

>>27493902
>>You probably won't find them. Let's go find Menendez instead

>>27493902

>>You probably won't find them. Let's go find Menendez instead.

lets not. Bandits about.

>>27493902
>Go in after them.

>>27493902
>>You probably won't find them. Let's go find Menendez instead

Not without a buddy

>>27493902
You sigh and head for the nearest gate. A quick query to the gate guards and they confirm that Lucin and the others had recently exited just a few minutes ago. Well, at least the trail was still warm.

"Are you sure about going off into the jungle on your own?" The gate guard asks. "The jungle is pretty dangerous at any time of the day."

"I can handle myself." You say, patting your M60. You made sure you were prepared, after all.

"Whatever you say." The guard shrugs and opens the gate for you. You quickly cross the cleared area between the wall and the treeline designed to be a killzone in case of an attack. No point in making yourself a target for potential snipers. In a few seconds, you reach the treeline, and now the jungle seems a lot more foreboding now that you're up close. However, you came too far to back out now. You take a deep breath to gather your courage and step inside.

>roll 1d20

Rolled 4

>>27494031

Rolled 6

>>27494031

Rolled 5

>>27494031

Rolled 5

>>27494031
inb4 shamfur dispray

>>27494038
>>27494048
>>27494059
What the hell, dice gods?

Rolled 16

Well done. All you chucklfucks that wanted to walk into enemy territory alone.

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>>27494038
>>27494048
>>27494059

Aaaaaand we just get jumped by a not-NVA patrol. Either that, or we just get even more lost.

>>27494031
As you creep through the jungle, you still can't find any trace of Lucina. In fact, you don't see a trace of ANYBODY. However, you do get the feeling that you're being followed. An ever so slight rustling of movement just behind you and to the side. You're not sure if it's a person or an animal, but it's definitely something.

>Call out a warning.
>Retreat back to the base.
>Ignore it and keep going.
>Fire a burst of MG fire at its general direction.
>Other

>>27494119
>>Call out a warning.

>>27494119
>>Call out a warning.

>>27494074

It gets worse.

Our MG is specced for support fire, right now.

Firing while moving and close jungle terrain are its weak points.

We're in big trouble.

>>27494119
>>Call out a warning.
No warning shots, ever.
>>27494148
We can always use a pistol.

>>27494119

>>Fire a burst of MG fire at its general direction.

An allyor someone we know would have just called out to us.

FIRE

>>27494119
>Call out a warning.

>>27494119

>Call out a warning.

I bet its Chequita. We're about to get raped.

>>27494119
>Call out a warning.
>>27494148
Nonsense, I'm sure it's just Chequita following us to kidnap us for our hair. Our, soft, fluffy hair.

>>27494169
That can be good if it's an enemy, or bad if it's just some kid who's too curious for their own good.

>>27494119
Head deeper into the forest.

>>27494119
>>Call out a warning.
Star! Star or I will fire on you!

>>27494218

>star

No sparky there.

I look away and I see anon proceeding to do something stupid.

>>27494248

Which one. I see a few.

>>27494226
its called a challenge and countersign.

Is anyone having problems connecting?

>>27494284
yeah, kept getting 502 503 504 errors

Anyone else get hit with truly hideous amounts of lag?

>>27494285
Well, at least it's over.

>>27494288
Rumors say that it may be because of Breaking Bad.

>>27494294
Breaking Bad?

>>27494300
Apparently it's over. I guess it was probably just a joke or something.

>>27494119
"Who's out there?!" You yell, pointing your MG at the direction of the noise, and then you yell the challenge word. "Lance!"

There's not answer, just more rustling. You're about to pull the trigger when the source of the noise finally reveals itself. It's big, ugly, noisy, and extremely smelly, with a hairy body, tusks, and a large snout...

It's a goddamn wild boar. And a very angry one at that. The thing just comes charging out at you screaming.

>Shoot it!
>Dodge!
>NOPE
>Other

>>27494393
>NOPE
CUE THE YAKETY SAX.

>>27494393
>>Dodge!

>wild boar
Ohhhhh fuck.

>>27494393
>Dodge!

We're so fucked.

>>27494393

>NOPE

>>27494393
>Dodge!

>>27494393
>Dodge!

>>27494393
>NOPE
Shooting it sure as fuck won't work. See, the problem with hunting boar isn't KILLING them, a good deer rifle can do that, it's STOPPING them. Because if a boar is charging you, it doesn't matter if you land a killing shot, it's gonna keep running and gore your ass.

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>>27494393
>Dodge

DOOOOOOODGE

>>27494393
>Wild boar
>NOPE

>>27494393
>CRAZY IVAN!

>>27494393
>>NOPE

Rolled 16

>>27494393
Your eyes widen at the sight of the boar. Even if you shot it, and you had no doubt your MG had enough power to take it down, the boar's momentum was going to carry it straight into you anyways, so you desperately roll out of the way in an attempt to dodge.

>roll 1d20

>>27494437
Worst part is, we already blew optimism on the first roll.

>>27494393
>>Shoot it!
Fuck boars. Right in the head. With a full belt.

Rolled 4

>>27494475

Rolled 5

>>27494475
GO!

Rolled 5

>>27494475
DODGE!

Rolled 9

>>27494475
DICE

Rolled 9

>>27494475
Dodge!

>>27494482
>>27494486
>>27494490
I think we just died.

>>27494482
>>27494486
>>27494490

Ha.

Hahahahha.

>tusk in arse

>>27494482
>>27494486
>>27494490
Seriously?
What the actual fuck.

>>27494490
>>27494486
>>27494482
Well this is gonna hurt.

>>27494482
>>27494486
>>27494490
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DoYVFD-MRfU

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>>27494482
>>27494486
>>27494490

On the plus side, this means we can chat with Edwin and Sparky if we survive this.

>>27494482
>>27494486
>>27494490
>>27494491
>>27494498
This is going to hurt, isn't it

>>27494482
>>27494486

Stahp.

And then Lucas was gored to death.
Many tears were shed, the end.

Is this going to be summed up in the archives as "The thread where anon proceeds to do stupid things most of the tread"?

What the fuck is up with the dice tonight?

>>27494534

Yes. Make it so.

>>27494536

Not just tonight, they were trying to fuck us pretty hard yesterday as well.

>>27494536
punishing anon for their stupidity. People should know better than to do stuff like this as Lucas isn't commonly blessed by the dice at these times.

Rolled 20

>>27494475
Let see if I roll a 1

Rolled 7

>>27494558
fickle dice gods. And another 20 down the drain

>>27494536

Well we won't be rolling in the first place if we didn't decide to leave the camp and wander into the jungle alone.

Seriously, we only have ourselves to blame.

>>27494558

AND YOU.

>>27494558
A bit late there.

>>27494558
you goatfucker

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>>27494558

Now they're just trolling.

>>27494558
FAAAK YOU! I will put you in the camel clutch, break your back, fuck your ass and make you humble!

>>27494582
Iron Sheik pls go.

Rolled 1

>>27494490
>>27494486
You try to dodge out of the way, but you're weighed down by your armor and gear, and you can't quite make it. The boar rams you full in the chest, knocking the air out of your lungs and send you sprawling to the ground. However, the one good thing your armor does is soak most of the impact, but the trauma plates have literally cracked from the force.

Your gun was also knocked from your grasp, and is lying just out of arm's reach of you. If you shifted just a bit, you could reach it, but the boar is already preparing to charge again.

>Try to pick up your gun and shoot the boar.
>Dodge roll away from the boar.
>Get to your feet and run like hell.
>It's too close to get momentum. Stand your ground and wrestle it!
>Other

>>27494665
>>It's too close to get momentum. Stand your ground and wrestle it!

manliness level must increase!

>>27494665
>It's too close to get momentum. Stand your ground and wrestle it!
COME HERE PIGGY!

>>27494665
>>It's too close to get momentum. Stand your ground and wrestle it!

>>27494665
>Get to your feet and run like hell.

>>27494665
>It's too close to get momentum. Stand your ground and wrestle it!
>Draw knife, aim for eye!

CLOSE AND ENGAGE, besides M60 is shit for CQC work

>>27494665
>>It's too close to get momentum. Stand your ground and wrestle it!

Let's grapple this sonnuvabitch!

>>27494665
>>It's too close to get momentum. Stand your ground and wrestle it!

I know we're choosing this just because of its nat 1.

But inb4 double lucas nat 1s.

>>27494665
>It's too close to get momentum. Stand your ground and wrestle it!
WE MUST BRING HOME BACON!

>>27494665
>Get to your feet and run like hell.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MK6TXMsvgQg

>>27494665
>It's too close to get momentum. Stand your ground and wrestle it!

>>27494665
>Get to your feet and run like hell.

>>27494703
>I know we're choosing this just because of its nat 1.

Just as a warning, you should NEVER base choices off the roll, because I might have either accidentally left the dice on or it's for something completely different.

>>27494665
>It's too close to get momentum. Stand your ground and wrestle it!

>>27494665
>>Get to your feet and run like hell.

>In before we tame it and make it the base mascot

>>27494665
>>Get to your feet and run like hell.

Rolled 1

>>27494665
Screw it. The boar was too close to gain any serious momentum from a charge, which gave you a chance to fight it in close combat.

"Come on, you stupid pig." You spit. "Bring it!"

The boar gives another wild squeal and charges.

Rolled 14

>>27494665
>It's too close to get momentum. Stand your ground and wrestle it!

Get angry!

>>27494752
>roll 1d20

>Merc roll two nat 1s
BRACE

Rolled 18

>>27494759

Rolled 14

>>27494752

Rolled 1

>>27494759
DIIIEEE!!!!

Rolled 17

>>27494759
WRASLE THAT WILDLIFE!

>>27494768
FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!

>>27494768
You've just made an enemy for life.

>>27494768
Armchair nat 1 roller

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>>27494768

>>27494768
THIS IS WORSE THAN DEATH.

>>27494768
theirs a reason I stopped rolling

>>27494665
>>27494752
Did Merc really roll 2 nat1s in a row?
This is just the dicegods fucking with us now.

>>27494780
>>27494783
>>27494793
>>27494791
Guys, chill. It only cancels out the 18, and we still have a 14. Which I THINK beats the 1 that Merc rolled. PRETTY SURE.

Rolled 15

>>27494766
Fortunately for you, the boar somehow loses its footing and trips, sliding to stop about a meter in front of you. Seeing your chance, you leap onto the pig's back and grab it's tusks, trying to pull its head up so you can get you knife into its throat.

>roll 1d20

Rolled 15

>>27494808

Rolled 16

>>27494808
Come on natural one

Guys quick, give a manly speech about beating up boars for the optimism bonus.

Rolled 19

>>27494808
I'm kinda scared to roll to be honest

>>27494808
I'll abstain for now.

>>27494828
You shouldn't be. That's a dead boar.

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>>27494814
>>27494825
>>27494828

Aww yeh, our luck has urned. Now let's ride that pig all the way to base. Bacon or a new mascot!

quickly, while the dice are rolling high, let's start doing improbable shit!

>>27494828
YOU JUST GOT US WILD PORK! or a new pet

>>27494828
The boar struggles, and you very nearly lose your grip several times, but you manage to find an opening where you can risk letting go with one hand to draw your knife, and you jam it in the boar's throat several times before it can finally shake you off. You're sent rolling through the dirt and when you get up, you can see the boar still standing. However, it's obvious it's on its last legs. Blood is leaking profusely from its throat and its squealing has become a pained gurgle. It teeters and totters on its feet, as if it's about to fall over any second, but it remains standing. Defiant to the end.

>Finish it off with your gun.
>Finish it off with your knife.
>Just stay back and let the blood loss do its work.
>Other

>>27494865
DON'T TEMPT THEM

>>27494865
Dont push your luck.
They're listening.

>>27494865
Oh yeah, we gave Sam a dog last quest. Should we get a new pet?

>>27494877
>>Finish it off with your knife.

>>27494877
>Finish it off with your knife.
it is the only way

>>27494877
>>Finish it off with your knife.
Remember the rules of the hunt

Rolled 19

>>27494877
Mutter an apology and kill it with your knife dexter style

>>27494877
>Finish it off with your knife.

>>27494896
B-but I'm scared of the hunt...

>>27494877
>Finish it off with your knife
Look it in the eyes as we do, respect the prey

>>27494877
>Finish it off with your knife.
Never shoot twice. If you shoot twice they can find you.
Then drink it's blood. We gotta drink if it's our first. It's the Spirit of the Boar. When we drink it, we'll be a real hunter. His blood will be ours, and once we do that, there's gonna be something different about us. Always.

>>27494877

>Finish it off with your gun.

Let us get some bacon.

>>27495011
FUCK.
>Knife

>>27495006
YEEES

>>27495006
Where have I heard that before? Damn, I'm gonna be thinking about this all night.

>>27495044
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XwwOF3ztiZU

>>27495006

Did...did we just find our Spirit Animal?

>>27495057
Our personal heraldry must now contain a boar!

>>27495006
this

>>27495006
DRINK IT!

>>27494877
>Finish it off with your knife.

>>27494877
Well, you were no hunter, so you really didn't know the custom of dealing with a cornered, mortally wounded animal, but something from Reznov's story yesterday, his lamentation on Dimitri's undignified death, moved something within you. This boar... it only attacked because you were bumbling through its territory, and it fought tooth and tusk for it. Even if it DID try to kill you, it didn't deserve to die a slow death from blood loss, or to be finished off by something as crude as a gun.

You walk forward, knife drawn. The boar eyes you warily, but it doesn't have the strength to do much else.

"Ssshh, it's all right. It'll be over soon." You whisper before jamming the knife directly into the back of its neck, severing its brain stem. The boar twitches and then falls over, finally dead.

You stand over the slain board, blood covering your hands, and you're left wondering what to do.

"HEY GUYS I THINK I HEARD IT OVER HERE!" You hear Mary-Kate's voice ring from the trees.

"MK," You can hear Morgan sighing, "we're not going to find that boar if you keep scaring it off with your yelling."

At that moment, Lucina, Morgan, and Mary-Kate come out of the bushes, and the first thing they see is you, covered in blood, standing over the body of a very very dead boar.

You all stare at each other rather awkwardly.

>Insert witty comment.

>>27495174
"I can explain everything."

>>27495174
I brought home the bacon!

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>>27495174

Um...who wants pork for dinner?

>>27495174
"Uuuuuuh, oops? Were you hunting this?"

>>27495174
So, I meant to take a left turn and now look what happen

>>27495174
"Too late, I already killed it. Finders Keepers."

>>27495174
"The Aristocrats!"

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>>27495174
"This isnt my fault"
Not a serious suggestion

>>27495174
"I swear to god, it told me it was 18."

>>27495205
>I brought home the bacon!
this

>>27495174

>touch knife to lips in a "hush" gesture

"Next time you go hunting, try being quiet."

>>27495209

This.

Rolled 14

>>27495174
*smile and wave as if nothing had happened*

"Hey guys, I've been looking for you."

>>27495209
Going with this.

>>27495209
>the tiny faux-minigun in the front bumper
That's adorable.

>>27495209

Supporting this, this is a pretty awkward situation.

>>27495217
this

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>>27495217
This this all of my this

>>27495209

Voting for this.

Also, lol is that a A-10 van?

>>27495227
this

>>27495209
I like this.

>>27495209
this

>>27495234
I like this

>>27495209
Supporting.

Rolled 11

>>27495234
So do I can we combine it with the comment ?

>>27495234
>>27495209
Both of these.
>*smile and wave as if nothing had happened*
>"Hey guys, I've been looking for you."
>"Um...who wants pork for dinner?"

>>27495209

Just this.

Rolled 7

>>27495174
as an addition
"He started it."

>>27495174
"Hey guys, I've been looking for you!" You smile and wave, and then look down at the boar. "Oh, and also, we're apparently having pork for dinner tonight."

"Hmmm." Lucina is already kneeling over the boar, inspecting it. "Knife wounds to the throat and spinal cord. Quick and clean, done up close. I'm impressed, Lucas."

"Holy crap are you sure you want stay as a Gunner?" Mary-Kate blinks. "That's straight up scout or shocktrooper shit right there!"

"Lucas, what the hell are you doing out here, and why are you ALONE?!" Morgan yells, apparently angry at you. "That boar could've KILLED you!"

>Sorry, I was just looking for you guys!
>To be fair, the boar attacked me first.
>Yeah, that was pretty stupid of me.
>Other

Rolled 15, 15 = 30

>>27495391
>>Sorry, I was just looking for you guys!

>>27495391
>>Sorry, I was just looking for you guys!

>>27495391
>>Yeah, that was pretty stupid of me.
then
>Sorry, I was just looking for you guys!

>>27495391
>To be fair, the boar attacked me first.

>>27495391
>Sorry, I was just looking for you guys!

>>27495391
>Yeah, that was pretty stupid of me.