>>32084626
YOU CAN'T SILENCE MY MUSIC!
*Belts out Don't Stop Me Now*

>>32084686
(heh, did my name wrong)

I think.

That we.

As collective.

Should stick.

With tradition.

Wilst letting.

Open the room.

For invention.

Of new spells.

Hey, I'm not changing Infernal Geyser or Blazing Tempest to whatever normal name they want, I spent weeks thinking up those names.

>Ye Olde Elminster's Violet Spheres of Multiplicated Force That Cause Internal Physical Anguish

And therein lies the problem. While I'm by no means in favour of wiping away the achievements of my predecessors, we're no longer a bunch of crazed hermits in towers-this is a GUILD, we have more departments than can theoretically be counted working together if you trust the folks in Extraplanar Studies, and that isn't a system that works when one spell name takes up a whole line, or when different departments have different names for the same spells. I am NOT having a repeat of the "Tentacles/Graspers" incident, thank you very much.

I say, we leave spells as they are. New names just make everything more confusing.

>>32084626
>Ye Olde Elminster's Violet Spheres of Multiplicated Force That Cause Internal Physical Anguish,
Are you implying that this damnable sod have stolen a recipe of "Elmordenkainebigkhelbenarun Gygakunarneson's Magnificuntous Missilelike Entities of Superlatively Admirable Impairment"? I'm going to supreme court right now.

Why don't we just brew a wishing potion and use it to fix the problem?

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Why not both? I like the sound of Trogdor's Mass Explosive Diarrhea, but it's basically a localized fireball spell.
Let's keep the simple names for the students, for ease of reference, and hold on to the specifics where the spell is sufficiently different from the generic baseline.

I am not.

Saying that.

We should.

Add merely.

New names.

We should.

Simply respect.

The old ways.

And resist.

The trickery.

Of rogues that.

Use wands and.

Abuse our noble.

Powers.

>>32084838
How can you even say that without biting off your own tongue?

>>32084786
Well said old man!

>>32084957
Ell-morden-kai-ne-big-khel-ben-arun Gyga-kunarne-son.

Youngsters these days. And who thoughT theoretical pyrOmancy would be agood idea?

>>32084957
Steady there, mah boy! This astounding incantation has been providentially passed down the Gygakunarneson family line for generations! And THEN some fornicating faggot comes and blabberingly proffer us to call it "MAGIC MISSILE". Just listen to it, it sounds horrendously atrocious!

>>32084995
Old? I'll have you know I'm a hale and hearty 73 years young! I still remember lobbying to set up Applied Evocation, back in the bad old days when the Archwizards defined the boundaries of their subjects. If I have to hear the words "isn't all evocation applied" one more time...

>>32085070

I agree with.

Lord Gyga

kunar.

neson.

on this.

Old ways.

Are better.

>>32085070
Yes, but is it actually different from the regular magic missile first year studants learn?

>>32085070
I'm a girl.

>>32084626
>On the agenda for today: nomenclature.

It is on this subject the Magi council has particular interest. Many of our scholar-brothers have encountered issues involving the pre-existing infrastructure the guild proper has in place for naming spells, something that is at direct odds with our sacred practice of naming (and promptly shouting out) our ultimate finishing moves to empower them.

>>32085132
We could just reclassify those as martial techniques, you know. Fighters don't have those restrictions. They'll laugh, sure, but they won't tell you what to yell.

>>32085100
My apologies Sir, the short beard tricked me.
I cannot comment on the fact regarding applied Evocation, it's kinda outside my specialty.

>>32085129
Big deal, I'm just a figment of imagination.

>>32085129
That happens, deary, don't lose heart

>>32085116
Well... But... Of cour... I say, thahhhhhhhhhnnnnnnngggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh~

Pardon me, my demonheart transplant has seen better centuries. Where was I? Ah, and it is of utmost importance to restore all of the current nomenclature to its splendidly immemorial roots.

>>32085188
It is. Eventually.

Can you.

Believe that.

The druids.

Of all spellcasters.

Stole my spell.


*gasp*


Slothix' Xenoxomorphix Asteraceae Aggressix Xigatyx.

.

And renamed.

it into.

Summon.

Large.

Flesh Eating.

Flower.

And then.

They polymorphed.

Me into.

a Sloth?!

>>32085210
So how about we let students cast their ridicuous, unrefined MAGIC MISSILE, and we stick to Elmordenkainebigkhelbenarun Gygakunarneson's Magnificuntous Missilelike Entities of Superlatively Admirable Impairment?

They'll surely see the difference if it's so eloquently explained.

>>32085216
Those damned mysterious druids, we should hire some expendable fighters or something to find out their secrets.

>>32085216
Oh, you mean you weren't always a talking sloth?

>>32085235

Students.

Should learn.

The noble.

traditions!

>>32085188
It happens, don't worry. Learned early on that long facial hair and cones of flame do not play nice.

And... ugh. Let me put it like this; it took me months to convince old Bronzegut that WHAT you were casting Fireball on was vaguely important.

>>32085179
This would be an even less favourable outcome. The last time the magi order encountered the fighter's guild, one of our more 'free thinking' officers taught them how to cast prestidigitation as charisma-based spell. That was thirty thousand years ago and we still haven't gotten rid of all the Lore Wardens hiding within our fellowship.

Our clerical department is admittedly limited in robustness.

>>32085270
Students have better things to learn. They can learn the traditions when they learn to stop setting other students ablaze during basic fire shaping class.
It's getting so bad that some people deman I should teach WARDS? How ludicruos is that? DEFENSE! In APPLIED PYROMANCY!

BAH

What is with such long names? If is not for long ritual, but in field or for writing in tome, Boris does not want wrist to be sore out in field - generic and slight variations for all, so that we may customize names foooor whatever purpose, tovarich. All I want is to know what spell I use, da? Of course, comrades, this does not mean we cannot call spells whatever we want alone.

>>32085269
I used.

To be.

A man.

A scholar.

And a gentleman.

But then.

Through trickery.

Of rogues and.

Scoundrels.

The druids.

Were convinced.

That I was.

To be turned.

into this.

Form.

So I would.

Be impared.

To casts.

Proper spells.

But they.

were wrong!

I summoned.

Flaming.

Natural.

Organisms.

To murder.

Them all!

>>32085288
What in the blazes is a Lore Warden?
You fighters confuse me.

I feel.

The Wastes.

Of Time.

Pulling.

I will return.

Last Week.

>>32085319
Wow, tough luck, days like these I kind of realize how lucky I was. Yeah sure my early years sucked by I never got turned into a sloth.

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Howdy, guys. I think all your complications arise from one simple problem - you have too many spells. I always needed only one.

>>32085318
Style points, you have any idea how cool you look shouting stuff like "Abyssal flames of the Nine Hells, incinerate" then burning everything in a five meter radius into ash?

>>32085408
And people call me a one trick pony...

Is there still a ban on engaging in intercourse with your summons? One of my Colleagues would like to know

>>32085447
Right. "Colleagues".

>>32085335
Look, this nomenclature problem is having very powerful ripple effects around here beyond what mildly perturbs you. Being able to shout out a signature move before casting is what empowers our magic, and with the guild's agent's breathing down our neck making sure we are limited in scope of our spell's proper execution, many of our brothers in arms have fallen from arcane grace.

I don't know if you are aware sirs, up here on the guild spire, but the Magi order has been holding off the Great Black One on the western seaboard for at least the last millennia.

Now, I'm not one to suggest that perhaps NOT having your eyes perpetually devoured by snakes made of negative energy would be preferential to preserving some of the spell copyright act's integrity- but it is at least worth a look.

My apologies to interrupt you all, oh venerated elders, but I wish to ask if there is a place I can find the minutes of previous meetings of the Mage Guild? I wish to study your wisdom extensively.

>>32085443
The only thing that should burn in those circumstances is the caster. From shame.

Right "Wisdom"

>>32085443
Only for use rarely! Talking too much is good time for enemy to kill you.

>>32085512
Great Lords Beyond, man! I was looking for THAT thing for at least two centuries. Stop bullying Killy right this instant and bring him back to my lab!

>>32085522
Shouldn't you be doing that pryomancy homework I gave you?
>>32085541
HEY HEY HEY HEY! That's my shtick, Eerro

>>32085564
-But the snakes!

>>32085512
The Great Black One? You've dedicated all this time to combatting Maximal Senior prank? Man, would a little background research kill you people?

Come on, another "universal spell naming standard" idea. The problem with Ye Olde Elminster's Violet Spheres of Multiplicated Force That Cause Internal Physical Anguish isn't its name, it's mainly because of its fallouts.

Seriously, people should use Errodith's Instant Curse instead of YOEVSMFTCIPA. Of course there isn't the bling, the massive slow violet spheres chasing the enemy and the wail of a thousand damned souls, but the result is exactly the same and the battlefield doesn't turn into a magical wasteland for centuries to come.

>>32085599
The snakes are a by-product. Poor bugger's going through a difficult stage is his twenty six phase lifecycle, and the snakes are a sign it's healthy. And a wonder that is, I bet you didn't even sacrifice to him!

>>32085522
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=mage+guild might do it, but it doesn't look like whoever was in charge has kept proper records sadly.

>>32085541
big words from someone who have trouble with cantrips!

>>32085599
Oh boohoo, big bad field marshal afraid of a few vipers? You have any idea what kind of terrible things I have to face while wearing next to nothing?

Really scary things, that's what.

>>32085620
I think it's another Great Black One. The prank one is devouring the Fighter's Guild expedition to the New World.


Now that is something that could use some nomenclature limits. We have more Great Black Ones than I have prehensile tendrils.

>>32085671
Your ex is safely out of town, I think I already told you this next week.

>>32085686
See, that one was a bit of a masterstroke, because the real prank is that the Great Black One IS the New World.

>>32085727
What ex? I don't have an ex-anything except master.

>>32085620
Your guild restricted us from access to the archives after you reclassified us as martials! For fuck's sake, some of our members were members of the guild council before they decided to wield a weapon in it's protection. Remember forty thousand years ago when I sat in THAT chair trying to explain to you that my interest in swordplay was not 'just a phase' and how the foundation of the Magi Order in order to combat the creeping forces of the end times while the guild sat on it's collective ass wasn't 'something I'll grow out of?'

>>32085731
Clever. The seniors are getting crafty. I wonder if this generation will provide me with an apprentice. It's been so long.

>>32085787
Just dabble a bit in Tulpamancy, then you can think up your very own apprentice in no time.

>>32085529
Hey, you like precision, I like area of effect, two completely different schools of thought.

>>32085787
You know-

Never mind. Just grant me access to the filework on 'Killy' and the co-ordinate where you want him and I'll have the order shepard him there for you so I can start on re-acquisition paperwork sooner rather than later.

>>32085762
I will again point out that I am only 73 (which you would have known if you had done your background research), so I haven't the slightest idea where you're getting FORTY GODDAMN MILLENIA from. And that archives thing is an issue, but why was that stopping you consulting our local expert on Xenoarcanology? You're really not presenting the best case here.

>>32085833
Filework? Have you seen what happens when Xenoaracanology tries to keep RECORDS? We're explicitly forbidden from doing so by one of the first laws the guild laid down. And I want him HERE, his favourite obelisk is under the council chambers.

>>32085825
I tried. We did not end well.

>>32085913
Seventy three... Sevent-

Ah. I've got the wrong plane. I wholeheartedly apologize for the intrusion gentlemen.

>>32085917
Oh, is that what it is..?
All this time I thought it was just a place to discard research rejects and such.

>>32085917
Eh, don't I know the feeling.

>>32085968
You took my familiar to ANOTHER DIMENSION? You better bring Killy back here or I'll show you some creeping forces of the end times! I'll lodge my Great Black one so far up your Abyss of Doom that you'll snort apocalyptic prophecy!

>>32086000
We will have him sent care of our conjuring department on our side. Again, I apologize for the intrusion.

Hey guys the thieves guild murdered my family can you kill them all?
k thnx bye

>>32086047
Hank..
Well, we've been over this before.
Those killings were legal due to the royal decree at the time.
Can't you just.. necromance them up again? or whatever it is you Necromancers do behind closed doors.

>>32085975
It's how it got started. Killy was my graduation project, you see. A proof that we can indeed control world-eating monstrosities from the realms beyond sanity. Of course enticing them to stop ending the world is one thing, but they still have their needs and their peculiar life cycles. Hence doom snakes, obelisk, human sacrifice and all that.

I wonder if I should take up an apprentice one of these days.

>>32085827
>>32085529

Oh what there are two of you now?
This guild is going downhill I tell you!
Its all burn this and ignite that!

Whatever happened to the days when we flooded towns instead of burned them down?

Next time we get ordered to deal with unruly villagers I want the village flooded or frozen!
None of this nancy pancy burning it to the ground.

>>32086204
Hey wetworks, ain't nothing nancy pancy about hellfire.

>>32086204
>>32086232
Oh boy, here we go again.

Goodness, you side has it even worse than ours.

>>32086204
>>32086232
Force beats the both of you, now sit down and quit your pissing contest, some of us are trying to work here.

>>32086232
Why is a diviner going on about hellfire?

>>32086319
Di- I'm a warlock! I made a pact with infernal powers to get back at my asshole of a master.

>>32086319
either he's dabbling in the wrong forces or we are due for a visit from the Grammar Guard.

>>32086421
>>32086423
I do believe it's time to summon the Grammatical One and the Other Spellguard.

>>32086300
"Work" The only people who work around here are the servants, and besides, everyone knows summoning is the gentleman's magic.

>>32086516
Ha, that's a good one, I know I don't have much room to speak on the subject, but at least with my pact, I do most of the leg work, you just summon a giant chicken horse thing and have it trample everything.

>>32086595
Exactly, No muss, no fuss, and no dirtying my robes like a common druid.

Have I been missing these, or has it just been a while? I love these threads with all my fart.

>>32086625
I think it's been a while, but it is hard to tell for me.

>>32086609
This caster knows what's up.

>>32086609
It lacks a personal touch.
I mean, have you ever feel the rush hitting a troll point blank in the face with a infernal spell? Of course you haven't. I don't even think you had your first ill-advised adventure.

>>32086625
>>32086653
How did these two commoners sneak in here?

Did the demonic door guards get unchained again?

>>32086703
My bad, I relapsed and stopped existing for a moment there: >>32086653

>>32086686
In his defense, he is an apprentice, they don't have much time for adventuring.

>>32086686
I thought this was the Mages Guild, not the barbarians guild. I'll just see myself out.

>>32086703
I don't know Watersports, why don't you check it out.
>>32086746
Bullshit, I was an apprentice and I got dragged to all sorts of stupid adventures.
Granted the person dragging me was my master but still.

>>32086808
You keep mentioning your master, so now I'm curious. Who is he?

>>32086877
Master Ashburn, a perverted, selfish, asshole of a master that I got stuck with.

Sorry I''m late to the meeting gentlemen, as usual my magical sorting system once again filed me under fictional and it took me a few weeks in-universe to traverse the corridor.

As I'm sure many of you have noticed, a significant portion of the library has been overtaken by an amalgam of several ancient, dark scrolls, presumably left near each other by some imbecillic Would somebody send some more experienced faculty deal with this, as most of our scrollkeeping staff's attempts have just led to more evil literature being added to it.

Ideally someone from outside Noel or Delmare's departments, I'm tired of re-assembling ashen remains with papier maché

>>32087294
Well looks like I'm off the hook. Have you tried getting some summoners to do it?

>>32087416
Don't look at me, my specialty might be close to summoning, but it isn't actually related.

>>32087416
Alas, i couldn't get past their golem at the reception desk..

Why don't I ever get invited to these meetings? I'm still a wizard too!
As a note, I think all spells should have more scientific names, like instead of "fireball" it should be "pyro-projectile".

>>32087696
That's a terrible idea.

>>32087696
>>32087819

For once I agree with Noel the matchstick

first you tell us to rename fireballs

next your going to be telling me we need to reclassify Argogs famous bellyblasting brew as Black Hydra toxin extract.

Well I won't stand for it science be damned!

>>32087294
In my home city of Etu we had a similar problem with self-propagating malicious scrolls. They managed to overtake the entire royal library before we learned that they could not posses written works that contained small grammatical error's.

>>32084626
*stumbles into the room, far shorter than usual*
where in the seven hells is the goblin piece of shit,the thingd i'm going to do to him when I find him shall be whispered to naughty children and...oh, I see a nearly missed the meeting

>>32088107
Who are you calling matchstick, you waterlogged witch?!

>>32088170
Oh goody, here comes Randolph. I see you're getting in trouble with goblins instead of female knight champions now.

>>32088247
*flails arms hidden by the arms of his robe* ooooh yes, having a slight urge to turn my apprentices bowls in rabid badgers is trouble now a days, hmmm?

>>32088301
Whatever happened, chances are you probably deserved it.

>>32088325
*removes hood* green shit head managed to compound a deaging spell with a gender changing spell. I am going to kill him

>>32088367
Oh my god.

That's HILARIOUS, everyone, look at the little munchkin!

Good day everyone, took me a while to find this place, I would swear that those idiots in reception tried to keep me out
Binding shades to oneself to draw on their energy might be looked down on, but whoever designed this gods damned tower is just downright evil!

I say let them call it what they will. As long as they've been educated in its creation and intended purposes, we've done all we should be expected to.

On that note, I will be giving a seminar on the little-known spell "Firebrand," later today in Lab 12. It will heavily focus on my design of the spell in order to bring alchemy closer to magic.
Also free coffee.

>>32088445
I hate
everything

>>32088484
Was the thing in reception a tentacle beast that smelled heavily of roses?
>>32088486
will there be fluffy pastries?

>>32088484
Ah, forgot to introduce myself, what poor manners
James of the Red Shadow, and I am glad to finally make it to one of these meetings

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I play dnd every week, have been for over 10 years. I play wizards, even.

But, you people are some serious autists. Kill yourselves.

>>32088486
rrrgh

>>32088489
Consider it payback for all the perverted things you done over the many long years of your stay here.

I, THE CHRONOMANCER, HAVE ARRIVED!

>>32088577
Sprung a leak?

>>32088578
I could easily reverse this, it's just that would mean I'd have to work

>>32088604
Well, would you look at that, I'm actually earlier than the wizard with time magic

>>32088604
Have you seen a goblin around here?

>>32088653
Can't say I have
If you are mad enough to fry someone, might I recommend that idiot of a receptionist?

>>32088653
Hank was around here earlier, I swear.

>>32088715
Terry is my roomate
>>32088725
I'm looking for grimble, not hank, I like hank, I currently hate grimble

>>32088754
Is terry the tentacle one you were talking about earlier or the elf with an extra arm?

>>32088836
The tentacle one
the extra arm is one of my apprentices whom I am not going to murder in a rage

Take this you overgrown fiend that smells like my grandmother! LANDSHARK POUNCING PROPULSION INTO GRALLION SIX-WAY EVISCERATION!
<ripping and tearing>
Phew... Um, could somebody please direct me to the mage apprentice sign up board? Maybe I have the wrong tower.

>>32088932
TEEEEEEEERRY, NOOOOOOOO....eh, he'll be right as rain in a few days

>>32088932
Also, this is the meeting room, you want the third tower on the right behind the tree

>>32088985
Oh. My apologies little girl. I didn't know that was your pet.

>>32089080
If he could hear you, he'd be very cross
Want a pastry?

>>32084626
Archwizard, others have been calling meetings. did you give them permission

>>32088892
WHAT GOOD ARE APPRENTICES IF YOU CAN'T RAGE-MURDER THEM?!?!
....
A-hem, sorry about that bit of a side effect, what with binding shades and all. At least give them a bit of a lecture on either doing their job properly or getting their soul ripped out and used as a back up battery

>>32089192
My lectures often devolve into experiments and or my teaching room bursting into flames

>>32089226
Or somehow creating spells that destroys every girl's clothes in a fifty meter radius.

>>32089281
The classical randolph entrance

>>32089121
I may have six arms at the moment, but they're all coated in terry-juice.
Just a suggestion on nomenclature. Tradition exists for a reason. Olde magics should keep their olde names as a warning of their potency. the newer magic missile is something we "aspirants" use for the sake of less collateral and greater discretion.

>>32089413
You may want to wash up, terry juice is a slight aphrodisiac

>>32089432
Of course it is.

>>32089413
REFFERING TO SUCH SIMPLISTIC SPELLS AS OLDE MAGIKS IS AN INSULT!!!!

.... Yeh, sorry about that, they tend to get riled up about the most random things.

>>32089532
I created Terry while bored on night, somehow he gained sentience and rather beautiful singing voice

>>32089576
Considering what I have heard about you, creating a tentacled beast with aphrodisiac blood seems right up your alley

>>32089432
OH FUCK.
I HAVE AN INTENSE URGE TO BITE AND TWIST A MIDGETS HEAD OFF.

>>32089627
My other roommates are clones of farm girls I spliced with monster parts, I was going to sell them, but they for some reason had souls, and I could not just sell off something with a soul.

>>32089670
Sounds like a personal problem, try to make sure said midget is green

>>32086200
Oh, why, if it isn't Noel again. Long time no see. How did the Infernal empowerment go? Not TOO excruciatingly painful, I'd hope. Glad to see you're wearing something sensible.

>>32089706
YOU GOT IT. HIS NAMES GRIMBLE.
I'LL WASH THIS CRAP OFF WITH HIS BLOOD!
Grimble... I've got a tingle... and... you're... the one I need to spread the seed

>>32089791
Hey there Wendel, yeah I got use to, even got bumped up to head of Pryomancy.

>>32089860
hilarious

>>32089900
Splendid. So, and I'm dieing to know; what DID end up happening to your former teacher/master/perverted-old-beardmeister?

>>32084626
Begging your pardon, archwizard, but even in my limited capacity for memory, I recall that we had this exact same discussion a year ago, almost to the day.

Don't you remember this? I cited my own creations that have been circulating the colleges for decades now - Percival's Diving Suit, Percival's Rainy Day, Percival's Poseidoid Pal... and, in the past year, Cobb's Thaumic Cascade. That one'll keep me in royalties for centuries.

Are you feeling alright, archwizard? The last time something like this happened, you were teaching your soup advanced demonology.

>>32089948
Eh, who knows, quite frankly I stopped carrying for the most part now, I got my own life now.
I'd still fry him if I ever see him of course, but its less obsessive now.

>>32089678
Did you say you had something with souls that you don't want to have souls?
I believe I could assist you in a way that we can find mutually beneficial

Also, Delmare, stop teasing the sparkers. It goes past sport and into cruelty at too low a threshold.

>>32089995
...that said, you're not familiar. What happened to the old head of pyromancy?

>>32090012
No, they pay me rent. which allows me to buy more parts, which allows me to make more abominations to let loose in the forest in my closet

>>32090113
I dunno, the position was open and I was the most qualified so bam, head of pryomancy, teaching students how to burn stuff with magic. Might consider giving the position away to somehow else so I can take up an apprentice and travel for a bit.
And to avoid the paperwork.

>>32090221
I just transmute all the paperwork I'm given, then I can say I just lost it

>>32090221
Huh. I swear that they're getting younger nowadays.

>>32090325
That's because they keep killing themselves or deaging themselves

>>32089976
It's the strangest thing, because I remember a discussion like this in the past too. Especially the portal to the plane of awful music, which I hasten to remind everyone I was NOT responsible for, so please stop giving those whiny non-wizards directions to my laboratories.

Especially the thieves. It's hard enough keeping reagents in stock around here without some filthy cutpurse deciding to walk off with all my powdered dragon claws.

I think I'll send one of my apprentices to check that the chronomancy department hasn't gone and connected all the years back-to-front again. Not that I strictly object to bizarre manipulations of time and space, but it plays havok with my research schedules and I'd like to be kept informed.

>>32090325
Hey I'm not that young

>>32084626

>If I wanted generic spell names, I'd be playing GURPS. Oh, wait, yeah, I am. And it has wizard guild membership rules.

I for one am opposed to changing spells names. The great wizards of old worked very hard to develop these spells and promulgate them. If Tenser had kept his spells to himself, the Magiocratic world wouldn't be what it is today. Taking his name from his transformations and floating disks and whatnot robs us of our heritage, robs us of our incentive to work together, and robs us of the ritual purity that has sustained us through these dark times.

Would you have me cease work on my Rift of Tentacular Violations? Nay, I will not, but I shan't share the secret with my peers if the High Magister of Arcane Lore claims credit for yet another of my achievements. My Gaping Maw of Pulsation revolutionized the study of all twelve of the Nether Realms of Forbidden Caprice, but the short-sighted nincompoop suppressed my work and claimed credit for my brilliant advances!

>>32088525
>>32084786

Those thrice-bedamned grasper wizards are mere hedge-mages-- they copy my work and at that not even well. That bungling idiot Evard could never get more than a friendly hug out of HIS feeble summonings, and then he has the cast-iron gall to claim it as an advance over MY spell.

You see? This is just the kind of disgraceful claptrap that I'm talking about! That accident in the kitchen-slaveys' dormitory was regrettable, but with more time and more spell-power I could reproduce this effect on a continental, nay, global scale! Think of how this would revolutionize our understanding of the nether regions!

But if all wizardry is to be is hoarding spells cribbed hastily from better wizards' spellbooks, scribbling secrets and claiming them as our own, casting spells without thought to the painstaking work of centuries that unlocked those arcane secrets, then we might as well hang up our cloaks and cast Charm Octopus for the rest of our lives.

>>32090399
It's bleedin' causality gone mad, m'boy - I'm CERTAIN that I've made advances in the past year, so it can't have all been changed at once. Or at the time. When.

The tenses for this will be atrocious.

>>32090556
Oddly, I think I remember this argument vaguely, as well.

>>32090608
As it happens, I'm vaguely fluent in a language that has the verb tenses we need, but as trying to listen to it makes me bleed out my ears, I'd just as soon muddle through with the common tongue.

Once we find out who's responsible, I'll send my apprentices to give them a piece of my mind. Or possibly I already have. Blast.

>>32090608

It's been a sore point for the Guild and me for some time. And, for that matter, created some sore points for the kitchen-slaveys as well.

It lead to some bad blood (and one embarrassing interspecies birth) ever since.

>>32090556
Oh we simply must compare notes

oh, I just remembered what I've been meaning to ask, is grafting monster parts onto unwilling subjects still illegal?

>>32084626
Listen, can't we just give simple names to our spells?
I don't need to know the name, Adorius's infernal discharge when everyone else just calls it Spark.
Lets just call it what it does, like fire bolt, or lightning chain, or grease, or illusory nakedness instead of wanking over who's getting the proper credit for something they stumbled upon.

>>32090849
Oh hello Talo, still part cat I see.
and that's because wizards have massive egos

>>32090844
I'm sorry, I don't understand the question. What part of YOU ARE A GODDAMN WIZARD involves caring about the petty edicts of the non-magical rabble?

>>32090325
She's not that young, or talented.
She just got magic by letting her ass get plowed by a demon, until then she was just dressing up like a loli
hail hydra

>>32090849
Yeah, that's what a wizard user would say. Once you come up with a spell of your own you'll suddenly be really interested in magic copyright.

>>32090946
I'm a lover not a fighter. I may be able to say, turn something into a mewling pile of flesh, but I don't have as much luck turning it into a smoldering pile of ash.

>>32090975
How many spells have you created, boy?

If it's about money, I can probably make some sort of deal with you Randal. You would be surprised at the amount of treasure you find around all those ruins and crypts and such in 700 years of hunting spirits

>>32091005
Well, my Masters thesis was a variation of the famous Ye Olde Elminster's Violet Spheres of Multiplicated Force That Cause Internal Physical Anguish, variation 245548 (look it up) with an improved aim function.

>>32090925
Yep, at least we have the expectation of being able to sleep 8 hours here instead of getting four at the most (and that was on weekends) at the warrior's guild.
So what, if I learn how to wreath my sword in fire in a different way than everyone else, I should be able to name it after myself nya? I mean, it was mostly an accidental discovery when fighting that Hydra a week back.
Speaking of, does anyone want vials of fresh hydra blood for their spell experiments?

>>32090989
I should hope that none of us here are fighters, son. Anyone who has time to waste swinging a sword around has no business claiming to be a wizard.

Anyhow, in my experience a mewling pile of flesh or a portal into the next county are as good as a fireball any day of the week.

>>32091039
*smug laugh* I created Randolph's disrobing slap, mass change gender, Armor to air, miniature invasive tentacles, and other such wonders

>>32091040
Well if it's different enough, I don't see why not. By the way, does anyone have any sweets? I have a sudden craving

>>32091046
Yeah except I like laughing at the chaos I cause

>>32091095
I'm sure, sir, which is why you are a regular of the Guild Council and I'm but a student.

>>32091124
are there any witches in the science magic school?

>>32091115
I see. Well, we all have our proclivities, I suppose. Do you require that they see you laughing? If not, a remote viewing spell or an enchantment to grant yourself invisibility and insubstantiality should be sufficient. I can recommend some tomes to research out of.

>>32091039
So what, you replaced one of the parts of prismatic sphere, or did you maximize it or some other meta-magic bullshit you are claiming is new.
>>32091046
Funny, I knew someone who always used to say the same thing when I was chasing him with my sword.
You should have seen the look on his face when I turned on my Tommen's Field of Arcane Energy Negation ring and stabbed him.
>>32091095
Does that come from being a loli, by the way, when did you go full loli
Last I saw you, you just had a nice set of tits.

>>32091182
No I just forget to run and they of course assume I am the cause

>>32091208
My apprentice hit me with a deaging and genderchanging spell, then ran off this morning,
I was not pleased
and most likely, seeing as I just taught my students the basics of mind altering spells

>>32091170
Very few... something about magic science and women just doesn't mix.

>>32091352
Damn, the witches guild finally made personal wards to keep me out.

>>32091208
No, do not forget I am a Magitech student. I of course created a device, a sort of ray-emitter (I call it a "laser") that specifies a target. You then cast the special form of the spell (it's syntax is slightly changed so that it would react to the aiming device) and the spell's accuracy increases from 76.2% to an impressive 88.6%, if I say so myself. Of course, this is at a significant distance, as the spell in question has a near 100% accuracy rate at close distances.

>>32084626
Esteemed Gentlemen of the Mages' Guild, I propose a round of song, celebrating the ancient traditions of the guild.
OH!!!

Who controls the Ashen Crown?
Who keeps non-vancian systems down?
We do! We do!

Who keeps the Far Realm off the maps?
Who keeps Swordmagi under wraps?
We do! We do!

Who holds back the Lightning Rail?
Who makes somatic components fail?
We do! We do!

Who robs halflings of their luck?
Who just plain don't give a fuck?
We do, WE DO!!!

>>32091337
You didn't poison him like I told you to, did you?
It doesn't even have to be something bad, just Jorthul's greater solvent of athlete's foot. Warrior or Mage, you start treating apprentices too gently and they'll eventually try to take you into their magical realm.
Just tell me if you feel the urge to say "oni-chaaan" at the end of your sentences, I have a good cure for that nya~

>>32091208
Look, I never said that the damn things aren't dangerous. Any moron with an opposable thumb can cause serious harm with one, and any sensible person should take care around them. As it seems to be fairly popular, I'd imagine it must be profitable enough that most practitioners don't even starve.

That doesn't change the fact that taking time out of your studies to wave around a sharpened metal rod amounts to slowly building a wall between yourself and true mastery of the arcane. There simply aren't enough hours in the day to do all the necessary research and still bother with that sort of mundane drudgery.

>>32091246
While I'll grant that there is an unfortunate tendency for the non-magical rabble to blame us for things that we are in no way responsible for, such as plagues, comets, and unforeseeable experimental results, I still don't think that you can say that when you admit to stirring shit up and then sticking around to laugh. But still, teleportation. It is literally the fastest getaway imaginable, and completely unstoppable with appropriate metamagical support.

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>>32084626
Too-too-roo!
Hey everyone, I brought some pizza bagels from the baker's guild with me

>>32091480
Okay, Oni-chan.
You know the problem is he is like me, he doesn't want power, he just likes having fun and causing mayhem, which is a problem as unlike all my other dumb as rock apprentices, he doesn't try to kill me, or break me, just fuck with me when he's bored

>>32091516
Dammit, you're supposed to be dead! That damn fool with his "world lines" and his "reading steiner" -what the hell does that mean, anyhow? It's clear who's responsible for this temporal clusterfuck now. I'm sending my apprentices to find that man and give him a sternly worded letter!

>>32091516
You are my new favorite person
>>32091483
Yeeaaaah but taking the scenic route is far more fulfilling

>>32091436
So you created a weapon that normal people can use easier and works as though it was projecting the spell, if I didn't know that mages weren't interested in that kind of thing I would say you are trying to seduce some of us here.
>>32091483
Well, I was a warrior before one of Randolph's students slapped a gender-changing/mind altering spell on the warrior guild door. I decided to learn magic to supplement my martial knowledge so not only am I a practiced magic user, I believe I could also qualify for a mage slayer if I bothered to take the entrance test into that order, not that I would pay the dues required to be in that hugbox when I have a perfectly good insane guild right here.

>>32084626
AHHH YES! I wish to retain to the rights to the name Rita's Superb Monster Enlargement for when I finally destroy those pesky Paladin Rangers!
I can make them grow when I'm orbiting the planet they're on, and my staff always comes back!

>>32091605
Ah, so you're more of a former warrior, then? I don't think there's a one of us here who hasn't made a lamentable mistake sometime in his past. Bygones being bygones, and so on, and the less said about the plane of unabashed frippery, the better.

>>32091572
Don't be mean to Okarin, he's a very nice man and that's why Mayushi is his hostage. Don't make Mayushi cut a bitch

>>32091661
Want to have a transmutation off, Rita?
first one to cause a holy crusade wins

>>32091695
Look, I'm not about to dispute that his heart's in the right place. That's the problem, frankly. Absolutely no good comes of being "nice" or "kind" or even "occasionally empathetic" when you're meddling with Things Man Was Not Meant To Know.

>>32091722
Ahh yess, All I need is my new monster to go down to earth and incite racial fear!
Go Glenn Beck! Destroy those Paladin Rangers!

>>32091769
Ok, someone get an apprentice to grab something from the pit, I'm sure some of those things are still alive

>>32091813
Call me suspicious, but aren't your own apprentices perfectly capable? I mean, I'll be the first to admit that apprentices are more like "pawns" or "tools" than that "human resources" word I hear bandied about by the common rabble, but if you're not prepared to use your own, I really have to wonder just what you've put into that pit.

It's not that portal to the k-pop dimension, is it?

>>32091908
I don't trust a good number of my apprentices as they seem to think of me as incompetent for some reason, the ones that do know not to fuck with me tend to be crazy enough to do it for shits and giggles. also because they'd have my scent on them,, and nothing in the pit likes my scent

>>32091605
No no, that would be dangerously close to breaking the ban on supplying overly-powerful magic to the common populace. This device assists in aiming the spell and giving it a level of auto-correction mid-flight but a trained wizard must still cast the spell.

>>32091957
I suppose you do have a noticeable aroma. Not quite chemical... not quite herbal... is that lavender? Wait! Wait just a second! Randolph, are you wearing perfume?! You know damn well that aerosols mess with the wards!

>>32092043
Which Is why I wear them, lets me get past all the pesky wards in the ingredient room, the portal to the witches guild, the kitchen, the female showers...and I should really stop talking right about now

>>3208676
Firstly, don't be disrespectful toward members of the Guild whom are FAR more skilled in the arts arcane, and secondly, how did you even get in here? I thought we had wards to prevent apprentices from entering the Guild Meeting Room in place. If you want to join the Barbarians Guild, I've already sent them an application in your name, so you'd better run along.

>>32092099
I was thinking about setting up a portal to facilitate your little contest, but I think I'll just arrange a contingency teleport to a safe demi-plane for myself instead. Right now, before something horribly unpleasant notices that you've disabled half of our defenses.

>>32092181
Oh it's not like this is the first time this has happened

>>32092211
Considering that we still haven't dealt properly with that time loop, you are technically correct. And if I rightly remember the guild bylaws, that is officially the best kind of correct in all guild business.

I'm still disappointed.

>>32092290
And you assume I care

>>32092322
Wasn't caring about strange things how this whole conversation started? I've quite forgotten. Where are my apprentices? Doesn't anyone have the meeting minutes?

>>32092359
I don't, I was trying to avoid this one

>>32092380
Quite all right. I should hardly expect a wizard to do the job of an apprentice. And I seem to recall that our last clerk is still an opossum.

Weren't you quite a bit younger a moment ago?

>>32092421
hmmm, seems Grimble is a tad incompetent with keeping different effects active at the same time, thank the gods

>>32091813
That isn't the pit that has "Do not eater, flesh eating monsters." sign on it, is it?

>>32092787
It is that pit, I use it as a dumping grounds

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WHAT BE THIS MANNER OF MAGICS?
I DO NOT KNOW THE DESIRE FOR YOUR WEAK KNOWLEDGE
STRENGTH IS KEY TO VICTORY
YOU ARE WEAK
PROVE YOUR STRENGTH IN KNOWLAGE TO ME ON THE BATTLE FIELD PUNY MAGIC MAN

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Barbarian here, I don't understand any of dis dweeb shit

>>32093086
Dear fucking god what did they feed you, would it be a fight to the death or fight to first who yields?

>>32093093
IT IS BEYOND YOUR UNDERSTANDING

>>32093005
Then, they're all dead.
I needed to grind some levels before I could actually kill something worth money.

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>>32093204
When I got my powda nuthin' is beyond my understanding

>>32093226
Thank you, I needed to get rid of those things, their screams annoyed me greatly

>>32093343
I like this one, can we keep him?

>>32093373
My friend, you're perfectly welcome to pick up any stray you take a shine to. Just remember that anything it poops on is your responsibility.

>>32093469
Just like grimble

>>32084626
Hey, we're not renaming 'Garland's Geckokinesis' are we?! If my spells aren't named after me nobody will take me seriously!

>>32093669
Where did you come from, I thought you were dead

>>32093373
You can keep him if you promise to take care of him yourself, the rest of us are busy with Rita as is. That means you have to feed him, care for him and take him out for murderous rampages every now and again. Now if you excuse me I have to see about refreezing our "Grand Transmuter" before we get sued again.
>>32093669
Does it even matter? Outside the guild who actually know what our spells are called, just tell them peasants its still has your name on it.

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>>32093726
Hah! You thought those Orcs could kill me? You thought I was a joke??! WELL, nobody was laughing when I cast 'Summon Greater Gecko' on them!

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>>32093373
Now I am bard
I was born hard
Magic aint my game
Nor tis my name
Dis mage guild aint loose enough
Too much hubbahuff
A lot of 'em sound like they in a talent show
So I give 'em something to remember like the Alamo

>>32093812
Delightful
>>32093786
Fine fine fine, also please put her on a fountain this time
>>32093799
aaaaaah, well, fuck

>>32093855
I know, I know, you all missed me. And here I was, thinking you all had forgotten me!

>>32091737
Says you. I get by perfectly well with a bit of helpfulness here and there. Granted, the occasional erotimancer takes advantage of my skills, and we end up making a rapevine that specifically targets elves(alive or undead) while telling other races they're "good people," but on the whole, it's worth it.
>Before you ask, yes I had to change my title. Apparently "Green Lich" is still JUST enough to get the dumber paladins in a smiting mood.

>>32093950
what is geckomancy?

>>32093950
Yeah, want a pastry, we have plently, some have explosive runes written one them

>>32093988
Geckomancy is the theory, Development, and application of all spells involving Geckos in some manner! IT IS A PERFECTLY VALID SCHOOL OF MAGIC.

>>32093989
No thank you, I just had a lovely brunch on the way here. It's why I'm a little late actually.

>>32094038
Ah, that explains why it took you so long, that and you don't seem to teleport

>>32094084
Funny story, last time I tried 'Lesser Geckoport' there were corpses EVERYWHERE. So I don't use it anymore.

It freaked me out.

>>32093855
No can do she stays in the Ice Lockers. While it would be a good and funny idea, we had to crack down on humiliating poses ever since the paladins have forced us to be "ethical". I managed to save the whole freezing people part but not the living lawn ornament deal. Granted I have to file like 20 reports just to get permission to freeze someone but hey its worth it.
>>32094038
I'm not so good with biology but on a scale of 1-10 how resistant to the cold are Geckos?

>>32094038
Don't let things get to ya, man. Newer schools always catch flak. Until about 4000 years ago, nodoby would've thought druidic and necromantic magicks could be combined. My Fossil mossdogs said differently.

>>32094172
Geckos are the master race! the perfect creatures! there is nothing, NOTHING, they cannot resist!

>>32094172
I miss the statues, they were fun, I really do hate paladins
>>32094084
I would guess so

Forgot to comment on the topic of the day...
Sometimes you need the full name(and the associated chant) to get it up to full power. If you don't have time, either use the truncated name, or a different spell. If you have the time, like if you have some blockers, go big.

Wizards are nerds, prove me wrong.

>>32094308
Lucha.

>>32094308
I create most of monster girls you shag

>>32094458
You get a pass for being a pretty cool wizard(ess).
For the rest of you, my challenge still stands.

>>32094479
great success

>>32094307
Why stop at just the full name? If you have blockers set up the runes, magic circles, blood sacrifices. Names are only what 80-99% of the spell to get the full power you need the proper ritual. But thats beside the point, if we start generalizing the names, we can weaken the novice mages' spells so that we won't have another Ashburn incident til the next archmage.
>>32094479
I'm a literal cool wizard, and I can survive in arctic conditions.

>>32094479
I brew alcohol that makes dwarves jealous, and hit things with a spear and sometimes with a spiked chain.

ugh, I got such a hangover... What did I miss?

>>32094308
>Nerd: an unstylish, unattractive, or socially inept person; especially : one slavishly devoted to intellectual or academic pursuits

Well, it seems that puts most of us out. You might argue that we occasionally have someone who is not, but SOME PEOPLE are less interested in the academia and are just using magic as a plaything.

>>32094664
what about us people who are in it to learn stuff AND use it as a plaything? What are we called?

>>32094634
I was briefly a little girl, the geckomancer came back, Terry got his ass kicked, an apprentice is after goblin ass, all my failed experiments are dead, and some one put k-pop over the rogue's guild or someshit

>>32094753
oh god, not the elemental plane of K-pop. I thought we sealed that forever.

and damnit, I was just about to have Cassandra pick up those experiments. This is turning into an awful day already.

>>32094742
A typical Mage's Guild Member.

>>32094798
it's okay, now I can start over with far more knowledge than before

>>32094850
My sides! They're floating away!

No, really, they're floating away. Could somebody catch those for me?

>>32094798
No, you jackasses sealed the plane of J-pop. I'm still miffed about that.

I just got back from lecturing Body Transformations 101 class.

Half my students always transfer out after the first day.. Anyone know why this is? I've been wracking my brain.

>>32094888
yeah yeah, that's nice and all, but what about ME!? I need those failed experiments to do some of my own experiments. Now I'll have to pay out of pocket to get those parts, and that's seriously going to hamper my knock out potion supply.

>>32094949
Oh shut up, no one likes your shitty taste in music anyway.

>>32094952
probably because I spread horrible rumors about how you molest all your students so that I can convince them to become my apprentices. I'm sure that's at least part of the reason.

>>32094952
It takes time for wizards to build up the right sense of depravity to handle that class. The half that transferred out will be the half that is taking it next time.

>>32094952

If you're such a great transformer, why don't you transform your brain into one that can understand why your students transfer out?

>>32094985
If you'd be willing to fix some various burns and burn-like injuries for my pathetic grad assistants, I would be more than willing to part with some of my stock of alchemicals for your needs. If any more of them are incapacitated, I will have to start teaching the lower-level courses myself, which means less time running my own experiments.

>>32094952
That would explain why I keep getting new students.

>>32095039
... Fine, I'll get Cassandra on that. I just hope that none of these injuries are near the groin area, or else this will take all day.

>>32094949
Could be worse, we could have actually succeeded in sealing the plane of K-Pop.
>>32094990
Is there any class in any mages' academy that doesn't require the student being slightly depraved? I mean considering who teaches them its a must these days.

>>32094985

Wh-why? Why would you do this? You can't actually be serious. If you are we might have problems.

>>32094990

Depravity? It didn't used to be such an act. It used to be quite nice. The art of changing your appearance or shape has been set to wayside as an, "elective". Something apprentices are not proud of taking!

>>32095088
I merely suggest that we become more depraved and therefore more ready to handle different sorts of tasks. After all, it's that sort of madness that eventually leads to new schools of magic being tooled with, yes?

>>32095049
Mercy, Randolph. What happened?

"Ye Olde" is actually a misspelling. Ye olde was never a real phrase.

>>32095102
I might be serious, I might not be. The real question is: Can you prove it?

>>32094985
Look, I don't personally care for the music myself, but when you got a god-being of anger, war, and destruction, who can only be calmed by a blessed few things, J-pop one of them, you do what you can to make sure he doesn't wake up and intentionally TWO ENTIRE ELVEN KINGDOMS again.

>>32095165
but that worked out for me in the end, because all the refugees came here, giving me a very steady supply of smooth elven skin to claim as my own.

>>32095149

I sure can make it seem like you did it. But that would be a young wizard's game. I have Tenure. I'm above such things. Whenever you want to discuss theory of the body just let me know.

We can go for a walk! Doesn't that sound lovely?

>>32095124
This is the kind of talk that gets the paladins all over us. I agree though madness does lead to greatness(or was it the other way around), still we need to conform or at least pretend to conform to normal society's standards if we want to not get crusaded........again
>>32095165
Can he actually tell the difference between K-Pop and J-Pop? I mean I heard to some westerners that they sound alike enough to pass for the other.

>>32095211
Possibly, but don't get any smart ideas, I'll be taking Fluffy the Second on those walks as well.

>>32094985
the bodies are still there

>>32095192
Yeah, I highly doubt your claim, as
1. That was over 6000 years ago
2. Radiation burns tend to mar the skin
3. There were a grand total of two survivors from his rampage, and I know both of them are dead now.

>>32095141
My star pupil hit me with a deaging slash genderchanging spell, the deaging part wore off. Unless you're talking about the students

>>32095240
Yes, he can. From what i've gathered, though he speaks draconic, he understands that "japanese" language, though I never heard of it until I spoke to him.

>>32095263
But I need LIVE bodies. dead flesh isn't really very receptive to change. That's why I rarely do undead.

>>32095264
hm... Maybe I'm confusing my god rampages, although that one does sound very familiar. Ah well, when you get on in years and change bodies over 50 times, It's hard to keep all the Non-essential memories intact.

>>32095286
Okay. I thought you did this to yourself.

>>32095302
Ah, you mean Craig? Did someone take away his K-pop again?

>>32095354
First time was due to wards the said star pupil put out side the fighters guild, as a rather larger and then female brute tossed me through it
the second was similar except outside of my room
still have no idea where the little bastard ran off to

>>32095343
hehehe, do undead

>>32095398
You could just cast 'Garland's Gecko Sentry' they make the cutest little noises when they see troublesome individuals.

>>32095343
trust me, you wouldn't forget one of his rampages. The last time he woke up was due to some idiotic EVUL-types fucking around in his lair. They hit him with a Portable Hole/Bag of Holding arrow, and it just succeeded in pissing him off even more. He then wiped out them, and the entire island.

>>32095417
Trust me, my alarms are funner, then again they also refuse to pay rent every other time I ask.

>>32095433
hm... That also sounds familiar. But honestly, I could see myself easily forgetting one of his rampages, unless it benefited me greatly.

>>32095241

Smart ideas? We're colleagues aren't we? Brother, sisters and everything in between!

What has become of this institution..?

Good day, m'lords, I got delivery. Where put this ominous altar with skulls, dried salsa sales and elvish symbols? My order receipt says it's a "altar of Xmeetlr'sk" or whatever.

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>>32095595
Understandable.
On a related note, I gotta leave, as he's fixing to wreck more shit in 3 days, and I want to try to minimize the casualties from his fights with these new upstart beasties that've been showing up recently.
Night all.

>>32095745
Well I for one don't feel the need to get knocked up by some wrinkled old has-been. Besides, I don't date inside the guild anymore, not after what happened with Jakeness the Pyromancer when he left for the northern wastes and shut down half of the departments.

>>32095808
put it in the pit over there, the one marked "Mail/Complaint box"

If one more fucking new student in this class is an-edgy-as-fuck tipper bastard I'm going to hang myself. They all carry razor blades and actually open up their gods-damned veins to cast. They do know if they just cast the spell the blood just phases out through the skin to the surface?

Besides, using your own blood is a fucking desperation tactic. No, jackass, your spells aren't more potent with your own blood unless you're sacrificing it to some kind of daemon spirit, which is an entirely different field of study.

Now all the cow's blood I'm providing the class is going to waste, which is pissing off the druids that pants-on-head-retarded student GreenPriest association.

FML.

>>32095745
Quite a lot and not enough.

Have you seen Kralli without his facepaint? He doesn't even have to make an effort and he draws more women to himself than that grad student insisting that he's figured out estromancy. Given how bizarre he is most of the time, it's quite perplexing.

Really though, I wouldn't have even taken notice if it hadn't been for him *cough* keeping some of my students up all night... when they were supposed to be monitoring and altering a solution for 24 hours.

>>32095851
Okay sir... Hm, this pit looks kinda familiaOHMYGODWHYSOMUCHPINKIFEELFABULOUSOVERTAKEMnope. Also, I think that thing down there kinda hungry.

>>32095867
Wow, sucks to be you buddy. maybe you should bring in a vampire or something, I mean I don't know how that would help, but the end results should make me laugh. Similar to the student who is currently fused with the ceiling

>>32095814
Goodnight Selevyn good to see you as always
>>32095851
Wait what do you need dried salsa for?
>>32095867
Are they at least dressed like normal mages or are they doing the whole leather vampire schtick, cuz thats a pretty big tipoff. Maybe you should start screening your students before we get another accidental suicide lawsuit. In any case you're not the only one with that problem. I had a student who was convinced that because he was freezing his own blood into weapons that the sacrifice made it stronger. Poor bastard never made it past the front door.

>>32095924
Oh joy, Talo didn't kill my favorite failed experiment

>>32095924
*twitch* "Sir?"...You know what, Pinky does look quite hungry, why don't you go and FEED HIM *kicks him into it*

>>32095946
I have had several students who think I'm an old codger who would be easily bent to their will, they currently all work at the nearest brothel.

>>32095969
>>32095971
oh wait, wrong pit.....now I'm sad again

>>32095882
You talkin' about me again, bookworm?

I do that thing. You know, what do you guys call it? "Cast from Charisma?" I'm good enough to be in the room, so you shouldn't be all that surprised.

Unrelated: If anybody asks, I did NOT. NOOOOOOOOOT... change the cafeteria portals from the demi-elemental plane of fried chicken to the demi-elemental plane of sentient slime. On another less related note, I do not advise you to have the gelatin today... You know, unless you're into that.

>>32096045
remind me to order ALL of the gelatin, seeing as because of grimble, I am once again a virgin, which simply cannot be let to continue

>>32095946
>>32095934
Nope, they dress in trenchcoats and fedoras.

My class smells terrible, there is buttcrack exposed EVERYWHERE, and they all have neckbeards.

Don't worry though, I've made them sign waivers against killing themselves. Nothing daemonically binding, because one, I don't like dealing that way, and two, they all go like "Hurp Durp I'm above the law. The laws of man don't apply." So I might be able to actually sue the ass-backwards parents into oblivion that produce these autists if they kill themselves with their own magic.

Fun Deal.

>>32096186
So you wouldn't care if I used their bodies as the basis for my latest abominations to throw into a put for no reason?

>>32094191
I killed a gecko with a sword, then I roasted it on a fire
a friend of yours?

Why do I never get invitations to these meetings? By the Gods they invite the madmen but never actual staff.

>>32096679
because fuck you pisken

>>32096703

What in the hells are you even doing here? What in the hells are we actually discussing?

Is this why the budgets never get done on time? You crazy fucks are just discussing everything but important guild matters?