/tg/ - Traditional Games

Anonymous
I think one of my players migh(...) 07/19/14(Sat)05:05:07 No.33509714

File: the truth is out there.jpg (18 KB, 348x255)

I think one of my players might be a lizardperson Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)05:05:07 No.33509714

I GM/DM for a group of 10 friends who switch in and out indiscriminately. We play a lot of different stuff. Mostly it's fun times.
But one of them might be a lizardperson.
You know. A reptilian alien wearing a human-suit to infiltrate our society.
I have yet to inform the local reptoid inquisition, but I've begun compiling some sizable evidence against him:
>In our 2 years playing together, he has never once eaten any food offered to him.
>Subsides entirely on homemade "cookies" he brings from home.
>Cookies are green, and pasty. They also taste awful.
>Whenever he uses the rest room, he is in there for 10-30 minutes. Possibly reapplying his human makeup?
>When excited, he slurs his speech to the point of incomprehensibility, clearly due to not being a native English speaker. Nor any Earth language, for that matter.
>Makes phone calls every 2 hours, most likely reporting back to the reptiloid homebase with his findings on hooman behaviors.
>Constantly uses nasal sprays and inhalers due to "allergies."
>The other day, I gave him a tissue to blow his nose. I took it and threw it away, then offhandedly checked on it in the trashbin. The tissue dissolved into a puddle within about 30 minutes.

Do I have enough evidence to safely alert the local draconian authorities, or should I wait and gather more intel on this cold-blooded spy from beyond the moon in my midst?

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)05:07:36 No.33509740

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)05:07:36 No.33509740

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>>33509714

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)05:07:50 No.33509747

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)05:07:50 No.33509747

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Go on.

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)05:09:08 No.33509763

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)05:09:08 No.33509763

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Please report them.

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)05:10:43 No.33509778

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)05:10:43 No.33509778

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a-are you actually serious OP?

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)05:11:35 No.33509789

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)05:11:35 No.33509789

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>>33509714
Huh. I kinda wish one of my friends was a lizardperson, now. I wouldn't have to share food with them and apparently they could spit acid at people who mess with us. Plus, lizards are intrinsically pretty cool.

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)05:12:06 No.33509792

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)05:12:06 No.33509792

>>33509747
On top of all of this, he is an EXCELLENT roleplayer. He gets completely into character, down to accents and mannerisms. He evidently is well trained in the theatrical arts, likely due to his years at the saurian espionage academy on Titan.
He also claims to live with his mother, despite the fact that he has never been seen with her.
I thought about following him "home" one night, but he saw me linger in my driveway for too long, and was almost certainly suspicious. Fearful for my safety I instead sat in my den all night, whisky in one hand, pointing a loaded shotgun at my front door.

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)05:13:07 No.33509801

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)05:13:07 No.33509801

>>33509792
well OP, only one way to find out
invite him over, then cut him up. i mean, it is the only way to get through the humansuit, right?

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)05:14:32 No.33509810

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)05:14:32 No.33509810

>>33509801

Too drastic, instead OP should turn his AC up to freezing temperatures to see if it slows him down at all.

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)05:15:19 No.33509821

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)05:15:19 No.33509821

>>33509714
TFW My town is full of people like that.

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)05:16:28 No.33509834

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)05:16:28 No.33509834

>>33509810
Excellent strategy. A lack of results does not however excuse him from all suspicion, as his meat-suit may be in some way climate controlled.

>>33509789
Don't be fooled, reptilian sympathizer. They are out to get you. Because they are them, and we are us, and if they aren't us, then us can't trust them.

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)05:17:42 No.33509849

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)05:17:42 No.33509849

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>>33509821
Leave quietly but purposefully, do not arouse suspicion from the scalies, lest you too be replaced by a dinoid replicant.

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)05:19:13 No.33509868

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)05:19:13 No.33509868

>>33509821

Quick, buy some geckos and other lizard pets and treat them like kings to let them know you're willing to work for them.

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)05:24:00 No.33509922

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)05:24:00 No.33509922

>>33509868
They care not if you are willing, as all will work, willing or not, after they forcibly transplant all of humanity to be used as slaves in the gas mines on Jupiter.

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)05:29:26 No.33509974

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)05:29:26 No.33509974

>>33509714
Clean and polish your gaming table very thoroughly before a session and afterwards check to see if he left any fingerprints. Reptiles don't sweat so if there are no fingerprints he's wearing a suit. The authorities won't help you much, so your best bet is to just do it yourself and serve lizard stew to your players for the next few sessions.

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)05:29:32 No.33509975

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)05:29:32 No.33509975

>>33509922

Yeah but someone has to taskmaster those slaves

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)05:34:47 No.33510028

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)05:34:47 No.33510028

>>33509810
>>33509974
Genius. I will do these both this sunday and see if it bears fruit.
Wish me luck, fa/tg/uys.
If I don't report back, assume I have been silenced by the reptoid authority.
Or worse, abducted.
I will sleep with a cyanide capsule hidden on my body, for easy consumption should they attempt to take me back to their horrible moon homeworld.

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)05:39:54 No.33510074

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)05:39:54 No.33510074

>>33510028

Wait a minute, HOW DO YOU KNOW WHERE THEIR HOMEWORLD IS? REPTILIAN DETECTED!

SHARDING HARD DRIVE AND FLEEING FOR THE HILLS

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)05:40:14 No.33510080

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)05:40:14 No.33510080

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>>33509922
Hypothetically speaking, I'm sure that these reptile-people would much prefer cooperation with humanity.

After all, it would be very useful to have a willing liaison so that both species could get along better.

Anyway, this is a silly subject. How about that Warhammer 40,000? Do you think that the next codex-manual will be released soon? What would you say that the Imperial Guard's chances against the Vampire Courts are?

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)05:42:08 No.33510110

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)05:42:08 No.33510110

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>>33509789
>>33509821
>>33509868
>>33509975
>>33510074
>>33510080

EVERYONE IN THIS THREAD IS A REPTOID AGENT.

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)05:42:41 No.33510122

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)05:42:41 No.33510122

Haha, Stoners.

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)05:44:21 No.33510139

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)05:44:21 No.33510139

>>33510110

Nah dude - we're spiders
>on the internet nobody knows you're a spider

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)05:46:16 No.33510159

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)05:46:16 No.33510159

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>>33510139

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)05:50:03 No.33510209

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)05:50:03 No.33510209

>>33510159
Mein Negger

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)05:56:48 No.33510268

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)05:56:48 No.33510268

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>>33510110

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)05:57:04 No.33510271

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)05:57:04 No.33510271

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>>33509714

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)07:31:28 No.33510967

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)07:31:28 No.33510967

Be on the lookout during your next tabletop met up.
Are any of your fellow players actually reptillian infiltrators?
Do they exhibit the tell tale signs of reptoid physiology?
If so, please alert the local authority immediately.
Unless they're lizard people, too.
In which case, just take your suicide capsule.

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)09:09:27 No.33511727

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)09:09:27 No.33511727

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>>33510110
>>33510139

Nah, we're actually skellies.

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)10:00:37 No.33512162

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)10:00:37 No.33512162

>>33509714
OP, if you are right, you have to take drastic action. REPTILIANS ARE NOT PEACEFUL. No matter what the libtard sympathizers say. They only want to enslave our race. We can't have another repeat of the Santiago Incident of 2012 here. We all know they were behind that, don't let your town be next.

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)10:16:06 No.33512297

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)10:16:06 No.33512297

>>33512162
I'd burn it to the ground first.

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)13:46:34 No.33515155

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)13:46:34 No.33515155

I TRIED GOING AWAY FOR A WEEK ON A "HOLIDAY" FOR SHELTER

THEY FOUND ME

SEND H

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)13:50:26 No.33515211

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)13:50:26 No.33515211

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>>33509714
>he doesn't play with elves

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)14:29:13 No.33515972

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)14:29:13 No.33515972

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>>33509714
You could have left things well enough alone, OP.

We're coming for you now.

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)15:15:55 No.33516832

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)15:15:55 No.33516832

>>33511727

I starting to suspect all my players might be secretly be skeletons wearing meat suits. Their body structure is identical to that of a skeleton, and there are several places-- particularly the joints-- with odd protrusions that I suspect might be flesh-hidden bone.

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)15:18:38 No.33516894

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)15:18:38 No.33516894

>>33516832
Oh by the nine, I think they have infiltrated the governments too.

What do we do?

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)16:01:36 No.33517819

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)16:01:36 No.33517819

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>>33510139
>>33510268
>>33511727
What the shit, I thought this was a Capy mission!?

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)16:06:05 No.33517937

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)16:06:05 No.33517937

>>33510110
>>33510139
>>33511727
>>33517819
>Whose conspiracy is it anyway

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)16:21:36 No.33518292

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)16:21:36 No.33518292

>>33517937

Wouldn't it be hilarious if there actually no humans remaining on Earth, and everyone was actually a disguised agent of one of dozens of different secret invasions, all so hidden that they're oblivious to the fact that they had collectively replaced humanity decades ago?

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)16:24:58 No.33518368

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)16:24:58 No.33518368

>>33509714

Eh, this thread could have been funny but you played out the joke in the first post.

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)16:32:34 No.33518558

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)16:32:34 No.33518558

>>33517937
>yfw you realize the true mastermind behind all the conspiracies is actually humanity

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)17:44:49 No.33520268

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)17:44:49 No.33520268

Craft an aluminium hat to protect yourself from his influence.

op
07/19/14(Sat)17:55:22 No.33520517

op 07/19/14(Sat)17:55:22 No.33520517

>>33509714
Offer to join him in his subversive activities you pleb!

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)17:55:23 No.33520518

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)17:55:23 No.33520518

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>>33517819
Fuck all of you guys, there is a huge beaver community on 4chan

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)18:09:45 No.33520807

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)18:09:45 No.33520807

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>>33520518
P̘̞̬̗̭̰͑̉a͇̞͍͙̿ͫṭ̜̟̾̓̈́ͨ́̈̓ḣ̦̯͚̫e͎̮̪̪̥̟͆ṭ̱̰̠͇͚͇ͯi͉̹̙̦͓̻̍̒̒͛͆ͪ̽ͅc̼̯͖͍͚͕̮͆ͧ̋͌ ̗͇̻̩͚̥̇̇B̝̪̬ͦea̲͍̙̓v̗̳̩͊́̈̃͆͊ẽ̞̭̬̼ͅṟ͎̉̐ͯs̹͎͉͗.̥͖̓ͤ
̘̰͎̜̙͊ͪW͓̱̖̠̬ḥ̼̬̮a̻̥̲͚͛̐̑͑̆̓̚t̺͚̻͖ͥ͌͂ͧ͊ͮ̚ ̫̭̰͎̲̑͆̒ͨ̓ͤ́a͖̩̜̗̺̻͔r̘͊ͩ̽͋͆̐e̬͂ͨͫ̀ͤ ̺ͧ̉ỷ̥̈̎̀ͣ̊o̼̜͔̜̞̯ͨu͉̘̹̘̍̎̐̓̋̈́̒,͉̹̠̝̺͌̓̈́ͮ̾̐̋ ̜̘̳̝̬͓ͧ̚c̮̭̩̣̗͂o̦͉̭͓̥͂ͥm̪͎ͮ̀͆̈́ͪͦͬp̠̝͛̔á͔̯̳̳̥͓ͦ͒͌ͤr̹̫͖͓͙̱ĕ̳̩̪͆ͯ̆̚d ̠̫ͫ̾͒̽̎t̩͙̣̔o̟̪ͣ̃ͫ ̗̖͈̱̯̥̞o̬͍u̙̬r͍̼͉̽̇͑̾ ̬͙̹̾̊M̱̩͉̲̖̑ã̜̣̯͆ͭgͥ̇ͨ̅̐̓n̳̻̔̽ͣi̺̗̞̱̤͌̎f͓͚̈̽̽̌͑i̫̜͔̣̞̍̏̏ͅc͎̞̲̭̱̬ͨe̞̼̮̻̰n̮̞̘̙̦̝ͤ͌̔̅͆c̽e̮͖͉͋ͯͨ̎̒̏͛?ͧ̏ͪͤͪ͌̚

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)18:14:31 No.33520916

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)18:14:31 No.33520916

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>>33520807
Go home platypus you're drunk.

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)18:23:07 No.33521128

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)18:23:07 No.33521128

>>33520268
Better results can be had with an aluminum bat.
Best defense is a good offense.

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)18:26:14 No.33521199

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)18:26:14 No.33521199

>>33521128
No, the best defense is the deterrent threat of a good offense.

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)18:29:18 No.33521255

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)18:29:18 No.33521255

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I, uh
I'll just take my leave.

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)18:35:07 No.33521375

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)18:35:07 No.33521375

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>>33521255
Too late for that, son.

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)18:36:23 No.33521404

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)18:36:23 No.33521404

>>33518292
You ever read The Man Who Was Thursday?

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)18:47:21 No.33521617

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)18:47:21 No.33521617

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Never fear! Candle Jack will save u-

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)18:49:53 No.33521659

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)18:49:53 No.33521659

>>33521617
The fuck did you just d-

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)18:51:03 No.33521680

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)18:51:03 No.33521680

>>33521617
Nothing bad will ha-

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)18:54:25 No.33521736

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)18:54:25 No.33521736

>>33521617
>>33521659
>>33521680
None of you know how that fucking works. You all have to say Candlejack's name or he won't do shit. Also, adding a dash is stupid because he takes you midpost.
Y'all are faggo

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)18:54:40 No.33521742

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)18:54:40 No.33521742

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>>33509714
And you didn't fuck him?!

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)18:56:13 No.33521777

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)18:56:13 No.33521777

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Daily reminder there are nonhumans on this board.

>mfw

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)18:59:58 No.33521845

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)18:59:58 No.33521845

>>33521777
I want to know how that man cup-ulates.
Is that jarring?

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)19:00:35 No.33521854

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)19:00:35 No.33521854

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>>33518292
>The President of the United States reveals he was really a lizard person the entire time and that they have taken over the U.S.
>Suddenly the cameraman reveals he was a skeleton and thought they were the ones making the coup
>around the world different races and beings realize that nobody is actually human
>the last human being on earth, in his super secret bunker, laughs himself to death

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)19:03:55 No.33521932

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)19:03:55 No.33521932

>>33518292
wait, what would that make otherkin

honest or double pretending

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)19:05:08 No.33521953

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)19:05:08 No.33521953

>>33521854
I feel the skeletons hiding in lizard people spies infiltrating the capybara faction are the worst off.

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)19:06:35 No.33521978

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)19:06:35 No.33521978

>>33521932
Nah. Otherkin think they're physically human, but spiritually some other shit.
These guys are physically non-human and aren't retarded.

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)19:07:26 No.33521990

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)19:07:26 No.33521990

>>33521978
>implying skeletons aren't a bunch of ~~boneheads~~

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)19:11:20 No.33522089

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)19:11:20 No.33522089

>>33521990
Wow. Fuck you. What is this 2008? Still using racist buzzwords? I happen to be a skeleton and I bet I contribute more to society then you fucking fat entitled meat bags.

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)19:13:00 No.33522136

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)19:13:00 No.33522136

>>33522089
>Skeletal Justice Warrior

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)19:13:04 No.33522138

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)19:13:04 No.33522138

>>33518292
The whole thing was just a giant human conspiracy, realizing how expensive a space/colonization program would be they lured in multiple alien factions to do the ol' swaparoo, once earth was human free they conquer the alien worlds and use their old home-world as a zoo.

Fellow infiltrators we have mad a terrible mistake

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)19:27:19 No.33522416

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)19:27:19 No.33522416

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>>33522138
We warned you, guys. You didn't listen.

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)19:30:47 No.33522506

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)19:30:47 No.33522506

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>>33522416
I kinda like it though...

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)19:36:39 No.33522635

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)19:36:39 No.33522635

>>33518368
Why is it that whenever someone makes a post clearly designed to be humorous, when the vast majority of people are laughing or at least enjoying themselves, some asshole comes in and bes the comedy nazi?
Why do some people feel the need to police other people's fun?

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)19:40:24 No.33522700

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)19:40:24 No.33522700

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>>33511727
We're both.

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)19:48:22 No.33522821

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)19:48:22 No.33522821

http://www.heavenly-angels.org/english/default_en.htm
This might be the only solution and answer against them! Be guided by the Angels of Light and Love!

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)19:57:57 No.33522997

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)19:57:57 No.33522997

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>>33522821
>implying angels are to be trusted over elementals
>ever

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)20:08:33 No.33523224

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)20:08:33 No.33523224

>>33509747
Entomb me like one of your french skeletons

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)20:41:01 No.33523955

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)20:41:01 No.33523955

>>33509834
>Because they are them, and we are us, and if they aren't us, then us can't trust them

Best quote i've seen all day

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)21:06:45 No.33524425

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)21:06:45 No.33524425

>>33518292
I am a human though. I've cut myself and I've had X-Rays taken, I'm definitely a kind of a mostly-hairless primate, most probably a human. I've never wanted to be nonhuman (well apart from wanting to fly, but who doesn't), though I've sometimes wished to be of the opposite sex. Oh, and a tail. I kind of want to have one. Just imagine the masturba... everyday applications for one!

But just to recap, am I the only human in the thread? Do any of you wonder what it's like to be a real human? I'm up for answering any questions.

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)21:24:24 No.33524718

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)21:24:24 No.33524718

>>33524425
You can't be human though. You're on /tg/. You obviously must be either a neckbeard or a weeb, both of which are subhuman.

Just ignore him mates, everything checks out. No humans in this thread.

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)21:31:26 No.33524850

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)21:31:26 No.33524850

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>>33510139

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)22:22:43 No.33525935

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)22:22:43 No.33525935

/tg/ become night vale in 76 posts.

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)22:24:26 No.33525968

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)22:24:26 No.33525968

>>33524425
You were exposed to X-Rays?

You might be SKELETON MAN! That makes you half human.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IU513suJZzY

No humans here.

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)22:51:33 No.33526471

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)22:51:33 No.33526471

>>33509714
There is one thing that must be done.

You must kill the Lizard Man.

Anonymous
07/19/14(Sat)23:22:41 No.33527107

Anonymous 07/19/14(Sat)23:22:41 No.33527107

File: JANE-BADLER8.jpg (153 KB, 1271x1600)

153 KB JPG

>>33509714
Don't be silly -- there's no such thing as "lizardpersons".