>>39946954
>>6361 (The fuck? Wasn't it only going to need to be sealed up for a few weeks? Why has it been several months?)

You were locked up for that long, then time passed without event. Your spy has been somewhat incapacitated, but is expected to recover shortly.

>>6364 (I dont want to test the first two on kobolds first we can fire Hyperborea at open space to test it first and Eldrict Bolt sounds fun to try on some excess fungal crops we want loyl kobolds and not dead or angry ones
Mental Subservience is fine to test.)

Rubbing your chin, you find that indeed, it's dangerous to harm your minions. So you rise and find an uninhabited side room, and command it to be smoothed out and expanded: your testing room.

>>6352 (Can we rename ourself something other than Bob?)

Technically, your full name is either Robert Glorious or William Glorious. It's unclear, so you have everyone call you Lord Glorious (Bob to friends).

You don't have any friends.

You summon forth one of your kobolds and ask him to take care of your spy.

>>6359 (Also, could you update the pastebin with info on what rooms we have and what they do.
I've forgotten whether the armory can equip everyone under our employ with basic armour & weapons or something different.)

http://pastebin.com/zXiD5huJ You search your memory for what rooms reside in your home.

You ask your scouts about news regarding Orcs and Goblins. One of the more cunning among them tells you that it seems that they moved over the mountains, or are far, far deeper underground.

Well, then: Multiple activities and priorities face you.

>Let's test out our spells, nail down the variables at the least.

>Let's send a team over the mountains. Surely a message to the Orcs or the Goblins would be welcome…

>Let's dig deeper. It's probably worth the time.

>Get the damn shaman to whip something up for the spy. She can't freeload!

>Explore the library further.
>Something else…
You think you can manage two or three of these…

>>39946963


Technically speaking, your real repertoire is your crafting capability: a lich left alone is always a prepared lich, which is a horrifying thing to combat.
You spend some time testing your spells, bringing in boar carcass.
With an effort, you begin with Hyperborea.
The blast of cold is… Tiny, the first time, but so chilling that the effect is actually wider than the initial zone, the sudden compression from the cold shattering a baseball-sized hole in the boar's side. On the second cast, it fills about half the room, cold enough to snap-freeze some of the earth, creating semirandom icy fields - as well as killing nearly everything in the radius.
Next, you lazily cast Eldrict bolt at a passing fly. It explodes. You raise an eyebrow, then cast it at the boar, who heals its wound, then grows four new legs from the side of its head, which shortly rot off to leave bony spikes in their place - which immediately explode off of its face, obliterating its head and nearly impaling a passing kobold.
Your maw clacks open at the wild effects of the spell, thoughtful. It seems that the variables of these spells are wide and difficult to nail down, but with effort, you discover the following:

((More))

>>39946981

>Hyperborea's maximal area is rather large, and it's maximum effect is significant. However, it seems randomly chosen for both these effects.
>Eldrict bolt's mutations are often short-lived, but it seems that with some effort, one could, possibly, use it for malice or improvement among enemies or allies. Probably. You hope.
Exploring the library leads to some interesting finds. It seems you are known most for the Seven Nation War, which surrounded your support of the rising Lesser Races - Trolls, Ogres, Lizardmen, Kobolds, Orcs, and Goblins against the surrounding seven nations. Some fury bubbles within your chest at that appellation, and it bursts from your maw like a finished kettle when you learn that the Trolls, Ogres, and Lizardmen were wholly wiped out due to your failure.
How dare they!
You nearly fling the volume across the room, but gather yourself. Gone days. Old days. If you forgot it, it probably wasn't important, right?
In this exploration, you fail to find new spell tomes, but that was a single shelf.
The Kobolds set themselves to digging down further, which will take some time, and the Shaman cures the spy, who finally finds herself leaving for the first time in too long.
And that's when you feel it. It's only in passing, like a tiny sun sailing overhead, but a massively holy prescence passes - likely on the train past the town.
You know what it is immediately: A Templar.
Templars are like Liches, only they are held together with blinding holiness, usually for a single mission. Their soul is held safe from their body in their holy relic. Something about this Templar is familiar, but you cannot place it.
The past is rising… Damnation.
>How do we react to this event?
>Are there any other plans to execute?

((More))

>>39946994


The kobolds have emptied the human graveyard, returning you some soul bits, bones, and other items you have yet to inspect. They will keep. You feel preoccupied.
>>6380
You studiously ignore the presence. Instead, you prepare a team to cross the mountains and meet the Orcs. The team consists of your strongest kobolds, but not your Champion, he shall remain here.
"You may wish to consider meeting them in person, milord." the Shaman states. "While you were vitalized by the Core…"
You don't need it to function. The Shaman can run things while you're away and the Champion will ward against any bullshit. Besides that, a show of strength may be in order - or some sort of gift.
As for how reasonable they are… Orcs, in your experience, defer to power, but it takes quite a show to force them to change alliance based on that. They recognize many forms of power aside from martial, as well. To that end…
>I will go with the party.
>I will stay here.
>I will watch and direct personally.

((The players decided to lead the party, and I will start from there with my next post!))

>>39947006
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Old%20Fucking%20Lich%20Quest
((Archives))

http://pastebin.com/zXiD5huJ ((Abilities, Stronghold, and resources information!))

Right.

"I will go with the party." you state. "My Champion will remain here, with you, to keep an eye on things. Forward all of my spy's reports to me through him." you rise, back cracking, wires snapping and pwinging as the wood in your leg creaks.

This... Won't be an easy trip. A walking stick (Powerful casting staff, you tell yourself, yes, that's what it is, yes) and perhaps a wheelchair, if you can manage to cobble one together (A mobile platform of necromantic power and spellery, of course!) Hm... This will not be easy terrain.

Within a few hours, your noble kobolds present you with a few options. You could take one or all or some:

>A sled of bones, some from the human graveyard. You could, you suppose, enchant it, but it's made to be pulled by some of your 'bolds. Or you could make undead servants for the task from animal parts...

>A spinal-column staff topped with a deer skull from your shaman. It's impressive, and you like the antlers being tipped with iron from your Armory. A nice touch.

>A wheeled chair, rather mundane, but reinforced well and made rather decently, though it looks a lot like a chariot. ...Maybe they took a chariot from the Armory, turned it round, then added things. It's well armored, in any case.

>>39947107
THE CHARIOT

>>39947107
>>A spinal-column staff topped with a deer skull from your shaman. It's impressive, and you like the antlers being tipped with iron from your Armory. A nice touch.
Nice to see you back, OB.

File: Spoiler Image (70 KB, 730x540)

70 KB PNG

>>39947107
I missed you, you Old Bastard.
I hate to split the vote, but I'd want the bone sled pulled by elephant skeletons.

>>39947107

Cool, I was wondering where this quest went.

I'm assuming the thread you just posted occurred right after the events of thread #3, after the mines were unsealed again, right?

Also I vote for the chariot chair thing.

>>39947107
>A spinal-column staff topped with a deer skull from your shaman. It's impressive, and you like the antlers being tipped with iron from your Armory. A nice touch.

Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>39947175
>>39947177
>>39947532
>>39947588
"The staff and the wheelchair." you say. "It'll bring a lot of impact to the proceedings." you say with a nod. In short order you whip up a few skeletal boars to pull the wheelchair, seating yourself as your men prepare meals and provisions and tents.

Ha. Sleep. Food. Things you no longer need.

A memory assaults you, a fragment of conversation. A laugh, soft and musical. A woman's laugh? A joke, something about not needing sleep anymore. You remember dark hair and raucous music. You shake your head, and order them to get started.

You relax as it starts, confident that your fifteen kobolds and your own self account for enough of a display of power as you make your way out of the woods and towards the mountain pass.

Random event roll...

>>39948105
Doubles!

You aren't far from the woods when you come across a wounded dwarf. He rests against a tree, weapon trapped in his torso and bleeding out steadily. He breathes evenly, as if resting. His armor is not ornate, it is simple, practical, and even minimal. An axe lays to one side, to the other, a short apparatus like a tube. The air smells heavily of something you can't place. The Drawf's soul sings of dark deeds in deep caves, rumbling threats from men in heavy silks. Smoky dens, bubbling vice, thick cigars and thicker accents.

He doesn't move as you approach. You have many options...

>Heal him, and ask about repayment later.
>Let him die and 'recruit' him.
>Heal him and ask about Dwarven strongholds nearby.
>Other...

>>39948160
>Let him die and 'recruit' him.

>>39948160
can we find dwawrn metalworking secrets if we "recruit" him?

>>39948160
>Let him die and 'recruit' him.

>>39948160
Let him die

>>39948160

>Let him die and 'recruit' him.

>>39948160
>>Let him die and 'recruit' him.

>>39948160

>Let him die and 'recruit' him

Dam I missed this quest. Looks like I got some reading to do.

Also bumping for awareness.

>>39951510
Yea... been lurkin' for the past 2 hours I think and still nothing :/

>>39948160
How much who the guy remember if we revived him?

If it's not much, it could be good to have another living spy for the Dwarven race. Just need to change his vice to something we control.

>>39951589
Maybe the Old Bastard passed out. It seems that, from what I can tell on Twitter, it has happened before.

>>39951966
Too bad. I like the funny way the lich himself sees the whole situation

>>39952182
Yeah, I'm enjoying that as well.

I can't wait to see the world's background more. This quest keeps hitting my Dungeon Keeper and Overlord strings.

>>39952276
Yeah, I felt the same connection (although pretty obvious). The world kinda seems like the generic good vs. bad universe but I like it so far

>>39952338
Nothing wrong the generic, especially when we can change things in the world.

I wonder if we can make more Hearts later on or some how revive the others. I think it could be fun to add new lords to the mix. Plus more allies to hit the enemy with.

>>39952440
Or just simply create some necromantic orbs that are similar albeit lesser than the ones we have

>>39952487
That could work to.

Do you think if we get stronger we can call The God of Evil, Malor? They made the hearts after all and maybe they would grant us some much needed info.

>>39951716
yes i agree we need to recruit him the question is alive or undead. That choice depends entirely on if making him undead will greatly diminish his skills.

Catching up on thread 4 as I missed it, will join shortly

Well it looks like we have some players... no gm tho :'(

Alive! Sorry, I literally passed out at the computer. Let me pick the ants out of my arms and get writing...

>>39954131
YAAAAAAY!! welcome back. Cracking a cold one for this ;)

You stop the procession and look over the dwarf. His memories would become far less specific on revival, if you went that route - For example, your Champion remembers a woman betraying him, at some point, which is why he hates your spy. But he doesn't remember what she looks like at all, her name, or anything like that. You rub your chin in thought, considering. Rendering him undead could gain you another undead on the level of your Champion, however, which may be worth it on its own rights...

>>39948160
I say we save him, question him, THEN kill him and own his ass

>>39954131
Woho! Great to have you back Bastard

>>39954186
Heal him, and ask about repayment later. play the subtle charmer.

As a side note am i the only one concerned that the wasteland spreading from our dungeon cor may interfere with our plan to be stealthy?

>>39954186
Might as well save him and ask for repayment. We can always kill and raise him later. Or test out eldrict bolt.

>>39954186
Heal and save, maybe kill later depending on his usefulness.

Maybe he's cool with being a living evil dude?

File: EdwinGoldhand.jpg (266 KB, 670x850)

266 KB JPG

>>39954401
>>39954354
>>39954294
You work quickly, sealing his wound with dark power, and waiting for him to awaken. He rises, blinking at his situation, then grasps the axe and leaps to his feet, backing away. You can see his mind working as he glares at you, then recognition and finally...

Respect.

He turns the blade of his weapon earthward, then leans on the haft, smiling.
"'Allo, frind deadman." he says, smiling. "I'm Edwin Goldhand, of the Golden Hands, and me and mine thank ye kindly for saving the scion of the house."

You tilt your head to one side.
"And who are the Golden Hands?" you ask, and he blinks.

"Ye been sleepin' unner a stone, deadman. The Golden Hands are..." he rubs his forehead, then grins. "We are legitimate businessmen, so to speak. We offer protection to many good businessmen in the deephalls, import products that few can offer, and our dens of pleasure are renowned throughout the land, though they may be of questionable legality." he says, "Our family spans from frozen north to the frozen south, may it live until the mountains crumble."

You get the feeling that while the Golden Hands are legitimate, they are probably not businessmen as such. "And you, ser, are in the enviable position of being owed by the Golden Hands. Seems to me you're on a trip." he says, "So I won't sidetrack yer. Instead..."

>"I could come with yer, then guide ye to me father so you two can talk business, like."
>"Or I could go home, and the Golden Hands will find you on yer own times, ye?"

>>39954687
Eeeeeh. Tempting to still kill him and make him a champion.

>>39954714
I dunno, access to a sizable organization with business contacts and experience moving goods could be useful, especially as he doesn't seem too upset with the fact that we're a lich.

>>39954687
>"I could come with yer, then guide ye to me father so you two can talk business, like."

>>39954687
>"I could come with yer, then guide ye to me father so you two can talk business, like."
We need contacts more than we need slaves... for now

>>39954687
>>"I could come with yer, then guide ye to me father so you two can talk business, like."

>>39954687
> come with us
But our first priority is the orcs, we'll get to the dworfs afterwards
>>39954714
I think he'll be more useful puting us in contact with the golden hand

>>39954687
>"I could come with yer, then guide ye to me father so you two can talk business, like."
>>39954769
I dont see why we want the orks right now. I thought we were trying to pay the stealth card and orks are not stealthy. Honestly this is a good excuse to change plans.

>>39954734
>>39954753
>>39954760
"Why not come with us? We are traveling to the Orcs."

"Aye? Well, I may be able to help out, there." he says, walking alongside your caravan as you get moving. "I know a way through the hills, you see, and I know some Orc. Enough to get by at any rate!" he laughs, stowing his axe, and the lot of you begin to move out after he gets back the tube thing.

The forest begins to slope upwards, and Edwin's guidance leads you to a semi-hidden pass that is even and easy to traverse, though you get the feeling you're being watched. Edwin assures you that it's his nephews and cousins, set to watch the pass that no miscontents see it used, like. You get the feeling that malcontents may well be authorities, but it's none of your concern as you make your way up.

As night falls, you take a break, pitching camp. Edwin regales the kobolds with ribald tales, from The One Time My Nephew Thought That Orc Was A Lady, or The Time We Tricked A Godspeaker. His tales omit nothing, leaving the kobolds laughing in barking fits or cheering about some conquest or another.

"An' so I say to the man, well, that isn't ale, and hasn' been for the past three jugs!" and everyone laughs. You relax back into the chariot, thoughtful as you look around. The area is without much activity.

>Meditate on the memory you felt before.
>Talk to Edwin (About...?)
>Think about...?

>>39955206
>>Talk to Edwin (About...?)
What can he get us, at what prices? Corpses or captives maybe? Of competent people that is, for good souls. We have the gold.

>>39955206
>Meditate on the memory you felt before.

>>39955206
>>Meditate on the memory you felt before

>>39955206
>Meditate on the memory you felt before.

>>39955206
>Meditate on the memory you felt before
we can talk business later.
Orks may be good to ask about but memory can be fleeting. we should look into that.

>>39955206
>Meditate on the memory you felt before.

>>39955358
>>39955354
>>39955347
>>39955319
>>39955310
You think, and think.

And the memory surges back.

---

The music is loud, and you're okay with that for once.

You rest on your position of honor, shocked that things would turn out this way. The treaty sits in front of you, and at your side, the black-haired paladin who brought it to you giggles at the antics of a kobold trying to drink from an ogre's tankard.

"You seem so shocked, William." she says gently. "At all of this."

"I never thought we'd win. I never thought you'd... We'd..." You run fingers through your hair, taking a deep breath. "I mean, I wished it, with all my heart. But I never thought it would actually happen."

"It is a night of many such things." she says softly, a hand on yours.

You smile at her, and she offers you one back, full lips and gentle blue eyes...

---

You awaken from the memory feeling not joy, but rage. You barely understand, the fragments floating in your brain like so many lanterns in a fog. You shake your head, it's morning.

"Ay, dedman." Edwin states. "Welcome back. You, ah, looked proper dead for a bit there. Everythin' aight?" he asks, as the kobolds begin to pack. "We got two paths to take, not that there's much bother about it.

>"The western path is a mite slow-going, see, but it's better for your wheeled thinger here."
>"But the northern path is direct, and a lot faster."
>"Course we could split ways and meet at the bottom, too."
>>"But you'd have to pick who to go with, in that case."

>>39955786
>>"The western path is a mite slow-going, see, but it's better for your wheeled thinger here."
Give us time to talk and I'm good, thanks for asking.

>>39955904
Supporting this!

>>39955786
>>"The western path is a mite slow-going, see, but it's better for your wheeled thinger here."

>>39955786
>"The western path is a mite slow-going, see, but it's better for your wheeled thinger here."
I think we can take the opportunity to talk. Is there anything you can tell me about the local Orks I would appreciate the information.

File: Spoiler Image (62 KB, 265x297)

62 KB PNG

It ded?

>>39956123
>>39955971
>>39955904
"Let us go the slow way. I'd like to talk."

"Aye."

You discuss the Orcs as you make your way through the pass. The Orcs have lived in this frigid land for many generations, mining, growing, expanding where no one else could survive. They live on, apparently, underground crops, which brought respect from his clan for them.

"We help them out, now and again." Edwin states, "Though most dwarves can't stand orcs, we find them admirable." he chuckles. "They're waiting for a war, it's said, that they can sink their tusks into. They're waiting for a chance, a... a fight worth having. Last one was the Seven Nation war, and we all know how that turned out." he says, "A damn shame." he says, as you crest a corner, the massive frozen valley coming into view. Snow coats it all, lending it a silence and a pure scent that makes you smile. In the distance is a stronghold, buttressed against a stone formation, surrounded mostly by sharp sticks and treacherous pits and stones, difficult terrain save for a single path up.

"Orcs are amazing fighters, and their magery is from the old times, all runes and spiritcasting. Very reliable folk, orcses." he nods. "Now, then - I do have a past with this tribe. But you could introduce yourself if you like...?"

>I will go first, and introduce myself.
>You go ahead.

>>39956668
>>You go ahead.

>>39956668
>You go ahead.
we want to play this on the DL
while it would be fun to make a huge show of our might at there gate that is counter to our goals. If they scoff and we are reasonably alone with there leader we can crate a demonstration.

>>39956668
> you go ahead
Although when he says history I assume it wasn't anything bad, considering previous dialogue

>>39956668
>>You go ahead.
Warm them up for me.

>>39956826
addendum: we can play humble as long as they obey our hidden will in the end.

>>39956668
>I will go first, and introduce myself.
We will protect Master!

>>39956668
>You go ahead.
No need to take any unneeded risks.

Damn, I just noticed you back Ol' B!

File: HeWhoBrokeTheMountain.jpg (99 KB, 500x694)

99 KB JPG

>>39956862
>>39956854
>>39956826
"You go on ahead. Call me Lord Glorious."

The name makes his breath catch in his throat, then grin wild, golden teeth shining beside ivory.

"Oh, aye."

He walks into the fortress, bowing before the various orcs. They bow to him in turn, and many of them joke with him. They old many weapons, though a few hold longer, heavier versions of the strange apparatus the dwarf had. Eventually he makes his way to the center of the fortress, where there sits the largest one. Eight feet tall and strong-looking, massive and with a massive sword.

They speak, briefly. The orc nods, then rises, pointing at you to come in.

You are wheeled in. The orcs are powerful and strong, fit to a man and woman. Both genders seem to enjoy equality in the combat zones and at home - a male chases after his children barking orders as you pass - but there is a definite tension in the air.

"I am He Who Broke the Mountain." he said, "Friends call me Mountain." he adds, grinning - yellow tusks jut out, dangerous looking. "My friend here from the mountains says you are strong. That you bring war. Is this true, bone man? Do you bring us war? Or are you here to buy more of us for piddling little fights?"

>>39957150
I come for war. but i do warn you that the first moves will be slow and subtle. Our opponents are strong and numerous. we need to corrupt and weaken them before we can crush the core of there power.I come not to fight but to WIN(que standing with a show of magic)!

>>39957150
He Who Broke the Mountain, I wouldn't come to you unless I had something big in mind. Your people, the orcs, are the strongest I know of. If you don't mind holding until my planning is ready. I wish to shake the worlds foundation and bring back the old times.

>>39957150
"I intend to turn this world upside down. Of course there will be mighty wars and blood shed to be had. Now tell me Mountian, how many of your orcs are ready to do battle now?"

>>39957150
"Master wants to crush the Templars! Much fights to be had from them!"

>>39957630
I doubt we would have brought a kobold characterized as "cannon fodder" with us.

Just promise them a bloody war and in exchange and promise ask for some skirmishers or a unit of troops to have at our disposal.

>>39957660
Apparently we've decided his roleplaying antics are amusing. We being anonymous.

>>39957660
Aren't they all?

>>39957680
I thought we decided on annoying?

>>39957706
No, that is just you. The rest of us don't mind him. I do expect him to be killed off in the next big fight though.

>>39957706
I'm with you, personally, but I guess we're the minority. Oh well.

>>39957732
I can't imagine what would give you that idea.
I feel he belongs on the back lines.

>>39957783
Yea, I can see him being the Lich's hand servant.

Did someone forget to save this thread?

>>39958127
I assume you mean in the archives?

>>39957706
He was referring to the character of the Kobold himself not the person RPing, I think. Anyway it's not like he's off-topic or spamming with useless bullshit, so what's the harm?

>>39958662
Honestly? I stopped caring about 2 minutes after I posted that.

Liquor is a wonderful invention.

>>39958724
I fuckin love being Irish/scottish, let me join you in glorious inebriation!

>>39957150
Hello Mountain. I bring you war unlike seen since your ancestors, and a chance to change the tides of fate. However it is yours to deal with as you will.

>>39957411
"He Who Broke the Mountain, I wouldn't come to you unless I had something big in mind. Your people, the orcs, are the strongest I know of. If you don't mind holding until my planning is ready. I wish to shake the worlds foundation and bring back the old times.

"But such upheavals require preparation. Consideration. I will not be crushed by my own eagerness, and I thus require planning and careful, subtle work beforehand. Thusly, I would ask now only a few of your men, to stand beside me, as a gesture of alliance."

Mountain considers, then gestures. "These three." he states, three big orcs with maces stepping forth. "Join us, dead man, to watch our contests. Today is a holy day!"

Edwin laughs, "I've been hankering for a meal. Come on, let us eat together!"

Something simmers inside you, but you can't place it as you wander down to take a seat at the table. You can't eat, of course.

"Tell us more, bone man!" one orc pipes up, eager.

>>39959450
Can you give us a prompt so we know when you're done?

>>39959594
Apologies, I'll do that in the future.

>>39959450
I had a few plans in the works to use a town's trains against it self. With your help I hoped to hijack them and use that as a means of deployment. Then I will use some people from the inside to open up defenses, with my spymaster.

Other options would be dependent on our abilities and any new information your people can give me.

Not sure if you needed a reply or not, so going a head with my thoughts.

Are we dead or waiting for the next update? Did OB pass out again

File: 1411950230967.jpg (124 KB, 736x550)

124 KB JPG

>>39960462
Heh, the thought of that makes me laugh. It doesn't help that I did that before.

Guys, this is time fore an amp speech, think, how would you get angry warhungry orcs to get excited about joining you? Sell them.

I would but I'm out of energy.

>>39960702
I was thinking we could wait to do a closing speech when the contest is over and we got some talking out of the way to learn more about these people.

"Well, for example - hijacking a train. Using it to deploy men and resources rapidly to bases along the line, captured towns." you state. "I don't know nearly enough about the technology of this time, to be honest, but the more I know..."

Edwin chuckles.
"He's been asleep so long he didn't know about the Golden Hands!" he says. "Which means he doesn't know about guns. Come, dedman. Time to learn." he says, picking up his apparatus. "This is a pistol, a kind of gun," he says, "Guns use the detonation of an explosive powder to propel a projectile at high speeds, to deliver harm." he says. "Allow me to demonstrate. Apple!" he holds up his hand, and an Orc tosses him one - where his glove and sleeve meet you see a glimmer of gold. He sets the apple on a stump, then walks away, as far as a dozen paces. "This is far from the longest range these weapons manage." he states, aiming. "Used to be we had to handload these things, stuffing in the powder and whatnot. Now we have cartridges - " he holds up a small paper cylinder, which he slides into the gun. Iron glints from the cylinder's tip as he loads it. " - which speed things up a fair bit."

He aims.

Oh, you have the barest time to think, It's like a crossbow.

He fires, and proves you entirely wrong. Firstly, it's loud - very loud. Second, the projectile is so fast as to be utterly invisible, crossing the space nigh-instantly. The apple explodes into tiny, tiny pieces, and your maw hangs open as he opens the weapon, paper ash falling out. "One shot, though. With multiple enemies, an axe is better." he says, "Or a crossbow. Hell to use in close quarters. These..." he waves the gun, "Is what the Golden Hands specialize in. We are the best creators of legal, and illegal, firearms on the planet."

He grins, "For a fair sum, we could be your supplier, dedman. What do you say?"

>What /do/ you say?

>>39960795
Why not? Also, can we ask him more about advancements in tech and magic in general?

>>39960795
Why not, we have so much gold we can't even count it. And we do need to begin the process of modernizing. Also, see if he can procure science literature. We could stand to learn more about this world's advancements/

>>39960795
I say they will have their uses. How long will it take to train in their use?

>>39960702
My friends, it has often been said that I like war. Friends, I like war. No, friends, I love war! I love holocausts. I love blitzkriegs. I love defensive lines. I love sieges, charges, I love mop-up operations, and retreats.
Wars across prairies, in streets, in trenches, in grasslands, in frozen tundras, through deserts, on the sea, in the air, I love every act of war that can occur upon this earth.
I love blasting the enemy to smithereens with catapult salvos that thunder across the lines of battle. My heart leaps with joy whenever a soldier is tossed into the air and cut to pieces by well placed spells. And there is nothing like a mage using a well-placed fireball to destroy the enemy ranks. And the feeling that comes when a soldier runs screaming from his blazing friends only to be mowed down by heavy arrow fire, is such an exquisite feeling. Like when ranks of infantry brandish their swords rushing into the enemy line. It moves me deep within my heart to watch a fresh recruit stabbing over and over into the bloated chest of a long-dead enemy.
Part 2 coming

>>39960970
The sight of deserters being strung up from a tree is an irresistible pleasure. And there is nothing more arousing, than the sounds made by prisoners of war dropping like flies, screaming in agony as they're mowed down by brutal spellcraft! When a band of pitiful resistance fighters makes their final stand with nothing but small arms, only to have their city smashed to pieces by giant skeletons, I'm in ecstasy. I love it when my forces are ravaged by a Ogre armored division. It's so sad to see towns and villages that were supposed to be defended at all costs, being laid to waste, their women and children being raped, and killed.

Part 3 on the way.

>>39961002

Gentlemen... All I ask for is war, a war so grand as to make Hell itself tremble. Gentlemen, I ask you as fellow brothers in arms, what is it you really want? Do you wish for further war as I do? Do you wish for a merciless, bloody war? A war whose fury is built with iron, and lightning, and fire? Do you ask for war to sweep in like a tempest, leaving not even ravens to scavenge, from this World!? Very well. Then war is what you shall have. We are a clenched fist, ready to strike down all who oppose us, with our might. I believe that each of you old warriors is worth a thousand of their sickly soft children! We represent a force that could easily defeat an army of a million and one men! It is time for us to awake the ones who sent us screaming into oblivion, and who now lie sleeping. Let's drag them out of bed by the hair, and remind them of what we are! We will remind them of what it feels like to live in fear. We will remind them of the sound our boots make against their throats. We will remind them, that there are more things between Heaven and Hell than are dreamt of in their philosophy. Our battle-hardened warriors will burn this world down to ash. Yes, my friends! Soon, charred remains will illuminate the night sky! I have brought you all back just as I promised I would. Back to our favorite battlefield. Back to our beloved war! At last, the sea lion has crossed the ocean and is heading up the hill! Friends... let's bring them Hell.

This is my suggestion for our speech. it's a parody of the Major's speech from hellsing ultimate I fixed up real quick.

>>39960795
Yes.
We need to be as well armed as possible, and only a fool would abandon such an invention.

>>39960970
>>39961002
>>39961021
soooo what do you guys think?

>>39961021
>>39961002
>>39960970
I literally can't not read this in a German accent.

And now, in my mind, Bob is German.

>>39961060
HEADCANNON!

>>39961043
Get rid of the trenches and we got a five-star stolen speech.

>>39961043
It sounds like the kind of speech you would give once you got an army, not when you re trying to get one.

>>39961043
It would be nice, but let's not getting them so war happy we can't plan things out.

>>39961113
>>39961089
>>39961120
so we're saving it for when we do get an army than? and eliminating the trenches
How did I miss that?

>>39960970
>>39961002
>>39961021
for all those confused,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUB9QGKCNmI

>>39961072
*canon
Cannons are big guns, anon.

>>39961524
exactly

>>39961544
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-1132-j

>>39960904
>>39960919
>>39960933
"A few questions." you say, "Is this the most advanced weapon, would you say?"

"Not quite. While we are the best producers of firearms, some smithies have made metals and materials that can counter them. Some stinking tree-sap based nonsense, or some shit." he grumbles, "Not to mention spell-worked swords. It's a nasty world out there if you plan to take over with orcs, kobolds, spear and sword." he said. "But magic, well..." he rubs his chin. "Magic's fallen a fair ways. These days, people hardly remember what aspects is."

"What! But those are basic! Any child-"

"Would know that real magic is about mana and filtration through elemental filters via staves and wands." he says, "Aspect is the dominion of a dead land."

"You cannot be serious."

"I am. Dwarves remember, Orcs remember, humans and elves have moved on."

"What nonsense." you grumble. "What of training for these?"

"I can send along a cousin, he'll have your men trained in a month or so. Learning how to use them is the work of a week, but maintenance of a Goldhand & Rutger is a damn necessity." he says.

"...I'll take them. I'll discuss specifics with your father."

"Aye."

You return to the celebrations as one Orc hefts a longsword from a barrel of imperfect ones, and hurls it with a grunt. The sword lands solidly in a wooden target, and the next steps up, throwing at his own target.

Then the woman steps up.

Not an orc - but she seems to belong anyway, long red hair, scars all over, and green eyes that seem to sear holes in those she glares at. There's some cheering as she picks up her own blade, then rears back.

You smell magic as she throws, a blast of it as precise as thrown handful of pebbles, and the blade tumbles rapidly, humming as her target is sliced in halves to the cheers of the orcs.

"The winner of this round is She Who Punches Yetis." the Orc leader states.

>Talk more to Edwin
>Speak with... Punches?
>Relax and enjoy the other events.
>Other?

>>39961980
>Speak with... Punches?
ooooh boy barbarian captain incoming.

>>39961980
>Speak with... Punches?
Use the full title when we address her, though.

>>39961980
>>Speak with... Punches?
ask her about her magic

>>39961980
Dam it, if only we still had flesh.

>Talk more to Edwin
Hey you know anything about the girl?

>>39962103
"Edwin, do you know about her?"

"Abandoned in a pass. Found her and brought her here. Her arm was struck by lightning, and the scar, it is a natural rune formation. So when she uses that arm, magic happens. She's uh, dangerous. Angry. Hates humans." he says, "Well, no, I misspeak, she hates everything, but humans most of all."

You raise an eyebrow.
"Oh, she just don't show it. But... There's a fury there. I swear it's what powers the arm."

You wander up to her, thoughtful as she stretches, muscles rippling under her harnesses and animal skins, and she glares at you.

"What." she says, in common.

>Well, what?

>>39962351
I heard you hate humans, enjoy killing, and are naturally magical. Those are all qualities I admire.
I've come to ask: how often do you get to do that (gesture at the remains of the target) to an actual living being?
I wish to recruit you as a member of my forward force. Essentially, you'll get the best of the violence, and the first pick of targets, as you lead our charge across this despicable land.

>>39962351
You like killing things? Well, I like dead things, and I need someone who likes to kill things, to well, kill things. *Insert Evil chuckle here*

>>39962439
i likes.

... Is OP as dead as Bob?

>>39963085
Probably not, I'm thinking narcolepsy

>>39963357
He can have my insomnia, if he wants.

>>39963085
I like to wait for suggestions.

>>39962439
"I heard you hate humans, enjoy killing, and you're naturally magical. All qualities I like."

A grunt.

"I've come to ask: How often do you get to slice living things in half like that?"

"Get to point, bone man."

"I'd like to recruit you to be in my advance forces." you say. "Leading the charge, when it happens." you grin. "Or leading the defense, if I am attacked. First pick of targets..."

"Need think." she says after a while. "Maybe."

You grin as you return to the contest, where Punches is revered as the winner, to the celebration of most. There is much joking as the traditional reward is the winner's pick of the women, but she picks up a random orc and walks off to one of the buildings with him over her shoulder, arm sparking power.

Edwin is laughing his ass off at that.
"Every year! Every year, they're surprised."

>Talk to Edwin
>Talk to Mountain
>Other

>>39963423
>Talk to Mountain

>>39963423
...the only question I have is how the fuck does a skull grin...

>>39963423
So... If she jacks him off with that arm...

>Talk to Edwin
Ask him if he recognized our name. Might give us a better timeframe on exactly how long it's been.

>>39963485
Constantly.

>>39963423
>Talk to Edwin
I like the cut of his jib.

>>39963684
>>39963510
"So... did you recognize my name?" you ask Edwin.

"Aye." he says. "The Seven Nation war..." he shakes his head. "It was incredible. A lone magus against the Seven Nations. But you... Well, past you, almost pulled it off. An army that size, the one you fielded back then, was terrifyin'. The Dwarves listed it as 'without number', an' we like ter count shit." he grasps an apple, takes a huge bite. "Coulda had it, too, if that bitch Paladin hadna double-crossed yer."

"... Wait, what do you mean?"

"History tells that a single Paladin campaigned for the rights of the Lesser folk for years. Your army, her movement... They handed her a treaty to give you. Paid her heaps of gold in donations to the temple of her Goddess." he says. "So she distracted you. Pretended to like you. Her love of the lesser folk was destroyed by their offer. Now, granted," he says, "That money saved a loada kids, orphans and sicklies, yeah? But..." he sighs. "My grandfather was in that charge, the last one. Seven armies bearing down on a damned /celebration/. A fuckin' disgrace, is what it was!" he bangs the tables. "Lesser folk never stood a fuckin' chance! The seven armies closed in, the Paladin vanished, and so did you. A forest was planted over it after it was mined out, the site."

He sighs.

"Shame that Paladin died after being canonized. Shameful." he shakes his head, beard shaking as he eats.

>What do you say?
>Talk to Mountain instead.
>Meet the ones chosen for you.

>>39964127
>Meet the ones chosen for you.

>>39964127
>What do you say?
Huh well now i am even more pissed off

>>39964127
Well. That explains how pissed off I am about a black haired woman.

>>39964127
>Meet the ones chosen for you.

>>39964127
welp. on the plus side, I now have yet another reason to hate paladins.

>>39964438
>>39964413
"Explains why I hate black-haired paladins so damn much."

The dwarf barks a laugh as you get up, nodding his agreement. You make your way to the three chosen for you.

Their names are, apparently:
'The first Son of Him'
'The Twin of the first son'
and 'Oh God Why Is There Three This Morning Wont End'
In short: Son, Twin, and Morning. Triplets, they weild a sword, twin massive shields, and heavy twin maces. Each of them is just as skilled as the others, and working together, they're unstoppable - a feat they claim is thanks to the rune they all share on their foreheads that allows them to, essentially, understand what the others are about to do.

You're starting to think you can take that hamlet. Maybe even defend it. This many skilled men and women, the support of an Orc tribe...

Things are looking up, and you want to burn down some churches soon.

>>End of Thread<<

>>39964567
yeeees let the genocide of paladins begin.

>>39964567
My sides are in orbit. This was excellent, even if I only turned up after the fun. Can't wait for the next one!

>>39964567
Good thread OB, now get some (more) sleep

>>39964567
>Oh God Why Is There Three This Morning Wont End
You know, I'd forgotten why I liked the quest so much. Thanks for reminding me.

>>39964567
Nice work, I had a good time.

>>39964567
Sooo... did anyone else notice that the soul in our sword was a black hared holy chick originally in a memorial to the sight of our defeat? .... so yah theirs that.