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>>46020072
The redhead relaxes a bit, but before you can say anything else, she's drawn back into quiet, almost conspiratorial conversation with mini-Nep. The purple-haired goddess candidate glances back at you every now and then. So does Mojang.

... it's strange how well they're getting along. It's not like you were worried about Mojang suddenly getting green-eyed jealous over little sister-ness or something like that; she's painfully good-natured, and sudden forced 180-degree shifts in personality only happens in those Japanese cartoons.

Still, they've been talking an awful lot. Maybe it's some kinda little sister commiseration thing?

Anyway, you're all headed down toward your hyperdimensional fortress's cavern levels, both to mine out Seganium (to let you get your body back) and to make sure that ravening forgotten beasts won't suddenly burst through to eat you all in your sleep. You're painfully aware that the hallways are all unfinished quickly-hewn stone, and that the damn place still has that bland new fort smell, but there's precious little you can do about proper dwarven decorations until you're properly dwarven again.

... speaking of your dwarven body, Neptune's been awfully quiet ever since she started walking. You look to where she's been keeping pace with you, and she's... staring ahead, her eyes slightly feverish, and she's sucking on her own braided hair.

The hell?

Neptune's gaze flits toward you, and she turns slightly red. "W-Wah! This isn't what it looks like! Your hair tastes good!" she hisses defensively. "It's all warm and fuzzy and heats me up from the stomach outward! What kind of shampoo do you even use!?"

(Cont.)

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>>46020103
Uh... water, animal tallow soap, and the inevitable splotches of booze that get into your hai-

Oh.

Oh, hell, Neptune's going through alcohol withdrawal, because you're a goddamn dwarf.

[ ] [GIVE NEP ALCOHOL] Because your dwarven body can't actually get drunk, but Neptune can go through withdrawal. And the prospect of Neptune going through withdrawal absolutely terrifies you.
[ ] [DON'T DO IT] You'll swap back soon enough, and Neptune can handle it until then. Besides, for all you know, the alcohol dependency'll stick TO her if you booze her up.
[ ] [GIVE NEP PUDDING] Treat the symptom, not the disease.
[ ] [GIVE NEP SPIKED PUDDING] Why not both?
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>>46020103
Shampoo? What's that? Some kind of mamby-pamby elven soap? Real dwarves make their soap from the rendered fat of slaughtered kittens!

...Actually you know what, yeah, it's shampoo.

>>46020127
[ ] [GIVE NEP ALCOHOL] Because your dwarven body can't actually get drunk, but Neptune can go through withdrawal. And the prospect of Neptune going through withdrawal absolutely terrifies you.

>>46020127
>[X] [GIVE NEP SPIKED PUDDING] Why not both?
sneak some eggplant in as well, because you are a terrible ass person.
also welcome back blorp. i love this quest.

>>46020127
>[ ] [GIVE NEP PUDDING] Treat the symptom, not the disease
Tough it out, Neptune probably doesn't even like alcohol, we won't waste it on her.

>>46020127
>[ ] [GIVE NEP SPIKED PUDDING] Why not both?

Fuck yes pudding shots

>>46020127
>[x] [GIVE NEP ALCOHOL] Because your dwarven body can't actually get drunk, but Neptune can go through withdrawal. And the prospect of Neptune going through withdrawal absolutely terrifies you.

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>>46020127
>[X] [GIVE NEP ALCOHOL] Because your dwarven body can't actually get drunk, but Neptune can go through withdrawal. And the prospect of Neptune going through withdrawal absolutely terrifies you.

Time for your medicine Neptune.

Sheeeit, I want expecting there to actually be a thread today.
I was expecting at least two push backs

>>46020127
[x] [GIVE NEP ALCOHOL] Because your dwarven body can't actually get drunk, but Neptune can go through withdrawal. And the prospect of Neptune going through withdrawal absolutely terrifies you.

>>46020327
On top of that, he was only like half an hour late.

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>>46020127
Awww yeah, best thread of day time.

>[ ] [GIVE NEP ALCOHOL] Because your dwarven body can't actually get drunk, but Neptune can go through withdrawal. And the prospect of Neptune going through withdrawal absolutely terrifies you.

All dry and no drink makes Urist a dull girl.

>>46020127
>[X] [GIVE NEP ALCOHOL] Because your dwarven body can't actually get drunk, but Neptune can go through withdrawal. And the prospect of Neptune going through withdrawal absolutely terrifies you.

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>>46020127
>[ ] [GIVE NEP ALCOHOL]

[X] [GIVE NEP SPIKED PUDDING] Why not both?
You're going to be switching back soon enough, so you don't want tire body going through alcohol deprivation when you're in it, but you probably don't want to see a properly sloshed nep in your body. Plus, she's more likely to accept spiked pudding than a straight up drink

It's here!!

>Urist McAnon cancels sleep: interrupted by quest

>>46020127
>[Give Alcohol]
Just be professional. "Oh, don't mind that weird feeling, that's just my crippling achohol dependency. I need it to get through the working day. Here, give my body what it requires."

Also, point out that Nep's got the same human-mind, CPU-body thing going on that Blanc does. What's up with that?

>>46020127
>[ ] [GIVE NEP ALCOHOL] Because your dwarven body can't actually get drunk, but Neptune can go through withdrawal. And the prospect of Neptune going through withdrawal absolutely terrifies you.

Just on question: Is the beer of Angel-Saxonian, medium or Central European quality?

Also, good to see this quest up.

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>>46020127
>[ ] [GIVE NEP ALCOHOL] Because your dwarven body can't actually get drunk, but Neptune can go through withdrawal. And the prospect of Neptune going through withdrawal absolutely terrifies you.
Yay more HDDF! My beard is ready.

>>46020502
It's probably of "Whatever I could fit in my still" quality moonshine

Okay, feeding alcohol to the Nep wins the vote, so- writing!

>>46020327
>>46020349
EVEN A BROKEN CLOCK CAN BE RIGHT TWO TIMES A DAY, ANON

>>46020502
On one hand, because no one else in DF's world properly drinks alcohol, their alcohol is probably the finest in the land. Dwarven work.

On the other hand, these are smelly bearded kitten-eating psychopaths fermenting shrooms in dank caves while getting possessed by unknown forces and playing with forces far beyond their reckoning.

It's probably moonshine.

>>46020619
Finest in the land.

>>46020502
Cave wheat beer, of course.

>>46020619
Yeah dwarves are kind of terrifying when you consider them from an outside perspective. The only thing I've seen potray them truly right is the Bravemule story. I highly recommend it if you guys haven't read it, it gets the tone of dorfs perfect, odd grammar and all.

>>46020619
Well, as long as it isn't something like Angel-saxonian quality or Kölsch (Read: Water with a hint of beer) than it can't be too bad.
Also, being insane doesn't prevent someone from making good beer.

>>46020746
>I am a hardened dreg I have never built a crop that was not murder

>>46020746
>Bravemule
>take one look at it and oh my fucking god, that Dwarf Fortress grammar

Welp, I know what I'm reading after this. Thanks, anon!

>>46020887
It's the least I could do, almost literally! The grammar is indeed fantastic.

>>46020072
>Neptune's hiding some sorta deep darkness behind that ditzy airheaded exterior
We checked. Behind that ditzy airheaded exterior there's a ditzy airheaded interior.

>>46021079
You freaked me out for a second, until I realize you were quoting something I said last thread...

>>46021079
Well, there is something more, but that is currently encased in all the old pudding Neptune ever consumed: a cunning Opportunist.... who is still a ditzy airhead.

Give the Nep FERMENTED EGGPLANT JUICE!

>>46021079
But where does she keep the memes

>>46021156
That is a good point. You don't have to be clever to CONSIDER yourself clever. Being smart is not a prerequisite for scheming.

>>46021192
On nChan.

Is there a Prototype Moe Personification?

>>46021574
Probably. Which is kind of scary in its own way.

>>46021574
She's probably a serial killer somewhere, disguised as an NPC between rampages.

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>>46020103
L-LEWD MOJANG?

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Blorp you magnificent bastard nice to see you man

>>46021950
TOTALLY.

PLATONIC.

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>>46020127
>[X] [GIVE NEP ALCOHOL]

For a moment, you teeter on the brink of indecision, because you're not sure what scares you more: Neptune going on a boozed-up, may-may-spouting, fourth-wall breaking bender (with her impressionable younger sister in plan view), or Neptune growing more unhinged as withdrawal takes hold.

Eventually, you figure that the latter's far more terrifying, if only for one reason: Neptune's in your dwarven body. Dwarves do not handle stress well, and you really, really, REALLY don't want to test what happens if your body goes into a fell mood while Neptune's in it.

But first, because you're not a complete idiot, you go down the obligatory checklist.

Neptune, is your throat dry?

"Huh?" The question seems to snap her out of her funk, at least temporarily. "Hmm... well, come to think of it, I could use a little water!"

How's your skin feeling?

"I'unno! I mean, wacky cartoonish violence shouldn't leave a mark, but I think I have the heebie-jeebies." Neptune perks up. "Oh, maybe it's because of that draft!"

Grimacing, you quietly drape Neptune's braids across more of her body. Damn that tattered cat lingerie. Anyway... how about the limbs?

"That's heavy, doc!" She pauses, frowning in thought. You recognize the expression of intense, otherworldly concentration on your own face, and your worry intensifies. "... wait, was that too dated? Or is that the sort of thing that never goes out of style?"

Gods above, you shudder to think what would've happened if you'd left Neptune upstairs with Blanc and an impending withdrawal-caused tantrum-slash-fell-mood. Well, nothin' for it now. Making sure that Mojang (or, Armok forbid, mini-Nep) isn't looking, you reach into your dwarven body's inventory-

"YyyyeeEEE!" Neptune squeals, pulling her arms to her chest and jumping like she's been electrocuted. "Bad touch! Bad touch!!"

(Cont.)

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>>46022067
- and pull out your tertiary flask before thrusting it into her hands. There you go, one medicinal drink. Just like the chief medical dwarf ordered!

"Oh!" Neptune examines the leather-bound object with curious interest; whatever color the leather originally was, it's been stained almost pitch-black by repeated spills, tears, and possibly Gnomoria's blood, if memory serves you correctly. "So this'll heal me right back up, huh? You've been holding out on me, you sly little kitty cat of a dwarf!"

Yes. Yes, it will. And you're not a cat.

"Ooh, what kind of leather is this?"

It's... also not cat.

"Huh? Well, okay!" The en-dwarfed goddess puts one hand on her hip and lifts the flask to her lips like it's nothing but a bottle of milk. "Thanks, Urist! Down the hatch we gooooo-"

NO! No, don't- don't just chug it down like water. Take it a few sips at a time, Neptune.

Neptune holds it in both hands and tentatively touches it to her lips, her (your) eyes flitting up at you for confirmation. "Like this?"

Yes, perf-

- shlrrrrrrrRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrRrrr-

... don't... don't make that noise. There's no goddamn /straw/ on that thing, how is she even making that noise?

"Sorry, sorry!"

Jeez. Here you are, living in unreality, stuck as a non-dwarf while teaching a non-dwarf stuck as a dwarf how to be a proper dwarf.

... ignoring Neptune's indignant squawk, you reach into her (your) inventory and pull out one of your many flasks before taking a long, long pull from it. You don't know if goddess's bodies can become inebriated, but you're going to do your damn fool best to find out.

(Cont.)

So what games do you want to see moe personified? For me I wouldn't mind meeting Age of Empires/ Mythology mainly because I played those games all the time when I was little. I also wouldn't mind meeting GTA or Saints Row.

I hope we find FTL or Space Engineers soon. I would love to see them.

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>>46022093
Not too long after that, and once Mojang removes the cobblestone blocks sealing the breach, you find yourself standing in the first cavern level. It's mostly unchanged: as you emerge at the cavern's "ground" level, the ceiling seems to stretch high above your heads. Pale underground trees compete against natural rock pillars for space, and colorful mosses crunch quietly underfoot. Even with your inferior non-dwarven divine senses, you can hear distant splashes, telling you that there's a source of water somewhere close.

There's a palpable, soothing sense of /life/ in this cavern, which threatens to put you at ease. The only thing different is the visible battle damage along some of the walls, but even that's already being swallowed up by the greenery, the voracious plant life, and the relentless humidity.

"Wah..." Purple Sister breathes, her eyes sparkling in wonder. She takes a tentative step forward, and then another. Then, almost childlike, she spins in place with her arms out, her long hair spiraling behind her. "It's so pretty down here!"

Come to think of it, she was born on a godforsaken rock in between dimensions, so this's probably the most color (let alone the most life) she's ever /seen/.

"It really is," Mojang murmurs, looking around almost proudly. "I still don't know how Oneechan does it!"

By balancing it out with occasional bouts of mind-numbing terror, you refrain from growling. Wouldn't do to traumatize mini-Nep.

Neptune takes another sip from her (your) flask. Already, she's looking a little ruddy-faced, and that's perfectly healthy. "Uu~... once I get back to Gamindustri, I'm going to put in a complaint at the department of dungeon design," she laments. "They have to stop recycling assets! They have one dungeon architect, and they work the poor guy to death!"

(Cont.)

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>>46022119
"They do?" Mini-Nep squeaks, turning to stare at the other goddess. "T-That's awful! Is that really what Gamindustri is like?"

... traumatize her more than she already /is/, rather.

Right. If you recall correctly, there's a fair bit of Seganium up on this level, but it's kinda spread out. For once in your life, you don't feel comfortably closed in; rather, you feel like there's too much damn space to keep track of. With your senses reduced to that of a non-dwarf goddess, you can't really tell what the lay of the land is like, or if there's anything going on out here.

The breach down to the second caverns isn't in sight. When you ask Mojang about it, she tells you that it's- apparently- over in one of the corners. The lay of the land apparently channeled most of the unleashed firepower into more of a pinpoint strike, which explains why 1) the cavern isn't a fiery wasteland, and why 2) there was enough firepower to punch down multiple z-levels in the first place.

[ ] [SCOUTING] Do a thorough once-over of the caverns, and tally up the available Seganium here before doing anything. That's half the reason why you're down here, anyway, AND you need to see this breach for yourself.
[ ] [SEGANIUM] Go straight for the prize, and mine out all the visible Seganium as fast as you can. Last thing you need is a Forgotten Beast jumping you, or- Armok forbid- for those idiots upstairs to start fighting again.
[ ] [SPLIT UP] As much as you hate to admit it, you'll get this Seganium out faster if you dig independently of one another: Mojang'll take mini-Nep to one side and mine, and you'll supervise Neptune. You can do a more thorough examination once you're back in your ACTUAL body.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>>46022093
Wait.......did Urist skin Gnomoria?

>>46022119
>"They have to stop recycling assets! They have one dungeon architect, and they work the poor guy to death!"
it can't be helped, the budget won't support more

>>46022095
Arma, I want to see Arma so badly it hurts, or Spec Ops TL.

>>46022142
>[ ] [SEGANIUM] Go straight for the prize, and mine out all the visible Seganium as fast as you can. Last thing you need is a Forgotten Beast jumping you, or- Armok forbid- for those idiots upstairs to start fighting again.

>>46022142
>[ ] [SPLIT UP] As much as you hate to admit it, you'll get this Seganium out faster if you dig independently of one another: Mojang'll take mini-Nep to one side and mine, and you'll supervise Neptune. You can do a more thorough examination once you're back in your ACTUAL body.
Yell if bad things happen.

>>46022144
Probably just beat her half to death with the flask.

>[X] [SEGANIUM] Go straight for the prize, and mine out all the visible Seganium as fast as you can. Last thing you need is a Forgotten Beast jumping you, or- Armok forbid- for those idiots upstairs to start fighting again.

Never split the party

>>46022142
>[ ] [SEGANIUM] Go straight for the prize, and mine out all the visible Seganium as fast as you can. Last thing you need is a Forgotten Beast jumping you, or- Armok forbid- for those idiots upstairs to start fighting again.
In out. Maybe be on the look out for Doomgirl.

>>46022142
>[X] [SEGANIUM] Go straight for the prize, and mine out all the visible Seganium as fast as you can. Last thing you need is a Forgotten Beast jumping you, or- Armok forbid- for those idiots upstairs to start fighting again.

Gotta go fast
The Seganium demands it

>>46022142
[Scouting]

Is that dungeon reference a crack at the games? Well played.

>>46022142
>[ ] [SEGANIUM] Go straight for the prize, and mine out all the visible Seganium as fast as you can. Last thing you need is a Forgotten Beast jumping you, or- Armok forbid- for those idiots upstairs to start fighting again.

The sooner we have our body back, the sooner we can properly watch as everything goes to hell

>>46022142
>[ ] [SEGANIUM] Go straight for the prize, and mine out all the visible Seganium as fast as you can. Last thing you need is a Forgotten Beast jumping you, or- Armok forbid- for those idiots upstairs to start fighting again.

>>46022142
>[ ] [SEGANIUM] Go straight for the prize, and mine out all the visible Seganium as fast as you can. Last thing you need is a Forgotten Beast jumping you, or- Armok forbid- for those idiots upstairs to start fighting again.

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>>46021950
LITTLE SISTERS ARE NOT FOR LEWDS

>>46021961
Thanks, I'm glad to be here!

>>46022144
>>46022178
Yeah, she only committed violence upon Gnomoria with the flask.

Given how much Urist treasures alcohol, she was probably pretty mad.

>>46022142
>[ ] [SEGANIUM] Go straight for the prize, and mine out all the visible Seganium as fast as you can. Last thing you need is a Forgotten Beast jumping you, or- Armok forbid- for those idiots upstairs to start fighting again.

>>46022142
>[ ] [SCOUTING] Do a thorough once-over of the caverns, and tally up the available Seganium here before doing anything. That's half the reason why you're down here, anyway, AND you need to see this breach for yourself.


We need to find the friendly Birdman, then we can be sure that nothing dangerous is nearby.

>>46022142
>[X] [SEGANIUM] Go straight for the prize, and mine out all the visible Seganium as fast as you can. Last thing you need is a Forgotten Beast jumping you, or- Armok forbid- for those idiots upstairs to start fighting again.
>[X] [WRITE-IN] Check on our Birdman. I swear, if Doomgirl or someone killed the first of the only two things we've ever summoned that didn't immediately try to kill us (and the only one we don't have to share custody with), we're going to throw such a tantrum!

>>46022142
>[ ] [SCOUTING] Do a thorough once-over of the caverns, and tally up the available Seganium here before doing anything. That's half the reason why you're down here, anyway, AND you need to see this breach for yourself.

also
>>46022270
is our NPC compatriot kill? That'd be sad times, friend.

>>46022144
No and you can't prove anything.
>>46022142
>[ ] [SEGANIUM] Go straight for the prize, and mine out all the visible Seganium as fast as you can. Last thing you need is a Forgotten Beast jumping you, or- Armok forbid- for those idiots upstairs to start fighting again.

>>46022142
>[X] [SEGANIUM] Go straight for the prize, and mine out all the visible Seganium as fast as you can. Last thing you need is a Forgotten Beast jumping you, or- Armok forbid- for those idiots upstairs to start fighting again.

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>>46022253
You.

Are.

Powerless.

>>46022142
>[X] [SEGANIUM] Go straight for the prize, and mine out all the visible Seganium as fast as you can. Last thing you need is a Forgotten Beast jumping you, or- Armok forbid- for those idiots upstairs to start fighting again.

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>>46022144
I would like that. Take advantage of respawns. (Don't know if they exist in Gnomoria)

Also makes for a very fancy leather. We should also skin Build the World for a sister flask. And terraria and make a present for mojang out of it.

>>46022357
NOT FOR LEWDS!

>>46022498
There are no respawns in Gnomoria, no. It's basically a(n extremely) discount Dwarf Fortress with a built in visualizer.

>>46022511
That picture is totally innocent

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>>46022785
Is it? Is really anon?

>>46022835
Well I mean, she's naked but there's no sexual context. Blushing isn't lewd.

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>>46022511
YES
YES
YES

>>46022142
>[ ] [RIP N TEAR] Tear that cutsie excuse for clothes off our body. At least naked we look like we where in a strange mood
>>46022253
lewds for all

>>46022871
Well, I would point towards the censor crosses as an indicator of something being perceived as lewd.

If those weren't there, your explanation would be far easier to believe.

>>46022880

Anon what are you doing you faggot.

>>46022919
PURITANICAL OPPRESSION

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>>46022920

SSSSSS

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>>46022511
BREAKING THE LAW, BREAKING THE LAW!

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Rules are made to be broken.

Lines are meant to be crossed.

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>>46022871

>>46022906
I like this option. Seconding.

>>46022952
Well said. Purityrannical standards should just vanish.

>>46023045
No. No. No. No. No. Fucking. No.

>>46023045
Did you forget what she's wearing underneath it?

>>46022906
no dude we are not exposing our body especially with a drunken Neptune at the wheel

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>>46023020
>>46022992
>>46022961

>>46023119
Yeah. We keep the things on.

>>46022906
But she's not wearing what's in that picture, she's wearing a damaged set of kitty lingere, and our hair.

>>46023162
With other words: We need to give her clothing.
>Oi, Nep, I hope you like clothing made out of Granite, Battle-Realms Wolf-Clan style.

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Come now. We're a blue board; lets not get Blorp in trouble; especially after all the work hes put into this quest.

also,
> [ ] A naked Nep-Urist is a mentally scared Nep-Urist. Get some clothes on, woman!

>>46023273
Seconded.

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>>46023273
Well, it is a little slow currently, and in some places it is 4AM or earlier. Still, cut lose with pics after Blorp had his thread ending post.
But, well....

>>46023381
Its not quite midnight EST, and I'm pretty sure thats where Blorp is, so this thread's probably got one or two more posts in the next couple hours.

We need to get a writefag to make lewds of Urist and Mojang

>>46022142
>[X] [SEGANIUM]
>[X] [While keeping an eye out for the bird man and Doomgirl]

Come to think of it, you're not THAT worried about the breach; you trust Mojang's buildings almost as much as your own, when it comes to keeping forgotten beasts and other assorted monstrosities walled away. Her stopgap measure will definitely hold for now, because- thank fucking god- forgotten beasts haven't learned to destroy constructions or blow things up.

... you shake off a sudden memory of the Forgotten Creeper. Maybe you'll just... not hold hands with Mojang until you add proper stone walls, drawbridges, and traps to the breach connecting the first and second cavern levels.

Right, it's time to get some motherfucking Seganium!

"Yeah!" Purple Sister cheers innocently, raising a fist. "Let's get some motherfucking Seganium!"

"Urist!" Mojang hisses- or rather, hissssSSSsses, glancing worriedly at the oblivious mini-Nep. "Language!"

"Language," Neptune echoes in a warm haze, staring at her flask like it's the most interesting thing in the world. Normally, a vague sense of unease would settle over you at this, but you're just thankful she's being /quiet/ for once in her life, holy hell.

Mini-Nep pokes her fingers together, looking properly chastised. "Did... did I say something wrong?"

You fail to resist patting her on the head. Nope, she did absolutely nothing wrong, you reassure her, doing your best to ignore Mojang's put-out pout. Anyway, Seganium!

The cavern remains deceptively peaceful as the four of you tromp around, quickly looking for ores the old-fashioned way. You're not fooled, though; everything exists to murder dwarves, so it's just a matter of time before the caverns vomit up something to end your existence, or at least greatly inconvenience it.

Too bad you don't plan to stay around long enough for that eventuality to happen, huh?

(Cont.)

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>>46023690
You and Purple Sister take to the air, keeping an eye out for monsters. One z-level below, Mojang and Neptune comb the walls. The en-dwarfed goddess is a lot less steady on her feet, and you're pretty sure she's muttering "(d)-(d)" to herself. Not surprisingly, it's not too long before your surrogate little sister pipes up, bless her dwarvenly greedy heart.

"I found some!" Mojang crows. Whipping out an iron pickaxe, she starts hammering away at the shiny purple ore with reckless abandon. If it was anyone else, you'd cuff them upside the head and teach them how to /properly/ treat valuable ores, but you've long since learned that there's a method to Mojang's madness. You can't dispute her results, too: somehow, she's got a 100% drop rate for stone and gems, whereas you're lucky if whatever you mine doesn't disappear into useless dust.

After a moment, she frowns, like she's reading cracks in the rock only she can see. Then she swaps to a familiar light-blue pickaxe before chipping at the ore much more carefully.

Really? This ore requires /diamond/ tools?

"I think so!" Mojang replies, not looking up from her task. "I mean, iron was taking too long, and it feels... almost like obsidian, actually! How strange."

"It's not strange at all!" Neptune calls out, pick in hand. Between the alcohol and the tattered (barely there) clothing, you've been keeping a close eye on her, on the lookout for sudden onset insanity. "Seganium's one tough cookie: sharp as a golden axe, hits like a dragon, and stings like a hedgehog!"

... and stubborn as all hell. You expected more complaints from her in general, but she really is gamely hammering away at the wall, tongue poking out of the corner of her mouth.

(Cont.)

>>46023715
"Are you sure there isn't anything I can do to help?" Purple Sister murmurs, fidgeting uncertainly.

Nah, don't sweat it. It takes a /long/ time to learn how to properly mine.

"I... I guess? It's just that Mojang makes it look so easy."

You glance down toward your surrogate little sister, windmilling a dense diamond pick one-handed like it's a feather duster. Honestly, she makes a /lot/ of things look easy, so mini-Nep shouldn't let it bother her.

She's silent for a moment. You're finding that it's pretty easy to read her through all those flames, so you cut to through the awkward silence.

"Huh? No, nothing's wrong, it's just... I think I've come up with a name," she says quietly. "It's-"

>Urist Twelfthbay senses danger!
ROLL d100! (dice+1d100 in the email field)
Taking the best of three!
DC: 60! Bonus: +5 for not splitting the party.

>>46023715
>the booze made her semi-dwarf like
color me suprised

Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>46023732
!FUN!

Oof, sorry for being so slow tonight, guys! Probably going to have to call it a night after the next one or two posts-

>>46023547
Well, yes, this in a nutshell!

Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>46023732
Oh yeah, and Blorp, you do know Doom 4's coming out, right?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljpBwguIqos

Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>46023732
No forgotten beasts, please!

Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>46023732

Gods of the Mine.

>>46023761
YAY No !FUN!

Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>46023732

>>46023761
just fucking barely

Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>46023732
Nepoli!!

>>46023761
Yup, I saw that! That looks... ridiculously brutal, actually.

Hell, it's almost like they canonized those comics.

>>46023812
Well, you are in a place that gets invaded by what appear as the forces of hell. Of course someone gets Insane when that happens. Doomguy goes Violent insane, why, for comparison, Serious Sam loses his grip on his visuals. (Or at least that how I interpret the graphical shifts between games.)

Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>46023732

>>46023715
it is time.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s4jiomkRA0s

>>46023779
OMG Y-Y-YOU SUPER LATE POSTER!

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>>46023732
>>46023761
>DC..... borderline passed!

Neptune's shriek pierces right through Purple Sister's next words, and you whirl around to find the en-dwarfed goddess plastered against the cavern floor, covered in some sort of sticky white substance, and oh fucking HELL it's a giant cave spider.

Before your power-up, you'd lived in fear of the damn things. After your power-up, and as the moe personification of Dwarf Fortress, you're more or less able to take the things one-on-one.

But for an airheaded ditz borrowing your body, who took off your liquid metal gauntlets and every piece of armor imaginable, a giant cave spider pretty much spells instant onset death.

Cursing under your breath, you immediately boost down, landing smack-dab between the spider and its erstwhile prey. You have no idea how the damned thing got so close without ANYONE noticing- aren't there supposed to be webs signalling the presence of this sort of thing?- but that's something to worry about later.

Twin cries of "Oneechan!" echo through the cavern. A crossbow bolt flies over your shoulder from above, and punching through the spider's leg- Mojang, who probably dug herself halfway up a wall again, with a perfect sniper's post. Meanwhile, Purple Sister dives down, but she doesn't even bother landing; instead, the flame-wreathed goddess smashes right into the spider, spattering half its body to a fine paste.

... as for you, you're ripping the webs off Neptune with your hands. The sticky silk (worth a goddamn fortune, a small part of your mind laments) clings to CPU Purple Heart's clawed gloves, and Neptune yelps, writhing in pain.

"O-Ow! Watch the claws! Please watch the claws!" she hisses. "Trust me, I know what they can do if you're not careful-"

That's the least of our worries right now! Neptune's a sitting duck like this- that damn spider's going to crush her unarmored head like a melon, and then it'll suffocate her with its venom!

(Cont.)

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>>46024385
"You mean, crush my unarmored head like a roast duck, right? I mean, let's keep that metaphor goi- w-wait, it'll /what/!?" she squeaks, her brain catching up to her mouth.

It'll do nothing /if you can fucking help it/, you growl, finally ripping Neptune free. You stand her back up, most of the webs still clinging to her- oh, okay, that solves the no clothes problem for now- and turn to see how the battle's going.

"Oh," Neptune says in a small voice, as you both watch the mangled giant cave spider slowly- and impossibly- knit itself back together, despite Mojang and Purple Sister's best efforts. "Void corruption."

Void what?

"Void corruption," your Neptune-possessed doppelganger repeats, her (your) eyes wide. She continues babbling, actually looking somewhat spooked. "I remember something about that the last time we all got together with Histoire! It was some meeting about doing more research about the void, but then-"

Y-Yes, okay, whatever, now what's that void corruption shit all about and how can you beat it?

(Cont.)

>>46024337
Nah, the others posted just to earlier without proper preparations, which led to mostly mediocre results.

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>>46024406
"I'unno!" Neptune wails, her eyes squeezed shut. "Vert made a jab at Blanc's washboard chest, and I accidentally snuck some of Noire's pudding away, and it all went downhill from there-"

Distantly, as you listen to Neptune babble incoherently, it occurs to you that you vaguely recall Histoire mention something about void corruption, and how it /should/ be solved by having a giant lode of sharicite attuned to you as the fortress holder, or something.

It also occurs to you that you'll have to grill Histoire much, much harder on certain aspects of the hyperdimensional void next time you see her. Because god/damn/.

[ ] [KILL IT HARDER] Okay, if all three of you unleash everything you've got on this one goddamn spider, you should be able to outpace its regenerative powers. Probably.
[ ] [CREATE A CAVE-IN] Knock out some of those stone pillars and bring the ceiling down on the giant cave spider, because you do NOT have time to dance with this fucker.
[ ] [KITE IT TO THE BREACH] When in doubt, leave the damn monster for later. Get it over to the breach, shove it down to the second cavern level, and call it a day.
[ ] [NONE PURER] Desperate times call for desperate vague measures! Sure, you'll probably summon something /worse/ than a void-corrupted giant cave spider with impossible regenerative properties, but better the devil you know than the devil you don't, right?
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>>46024431
>[ ] [KILL IT HARDER] Okay, if all three of you unleash everything you've got on this one goddamn spider, you should be able to outpace its regenerative powers. Probably.

>>46024431
>[X] [KILL IT HARDER] Okay, if all three of you unleash everything you've got on this one goddamn spider, you should be able to outpace its regenerative powers. Probably.
Violence will solve all our problems!

>>46024431
>[ ] [KILL IT HARDER] Okay, if all three of you unleash everything you've got on this one goddamn spider, you should be able to outpace its regenerative powers. Probably.
Lets use fire.

shit there are crossbows in minecraft now?

>>46024431
>[ ] [CREATE A CAVE-IN] Knock out some of those stone pillars and bring the ceiling down on the giant cave spider, because you do NOT have time to dance with this fucker.
totally a safe way to get more seganium

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>>46024431

[Violence]

Or pic related.

>>46024431
>[ ] [KILL IT WITH FIRE] It can't knit itself back again when particles of it dance in the wind as soot.

Make sure it stays away from burnable things.

>>46024431
>Keep it busy while Mojang and/or Neptune build a wall around it. Regeneration means squat if it can't get to us.

>>46024431
>[ ] [NONE PURER] Desperate times call for desperate vague measures! Sure, you'll probably summon something /worse/ than a void-corrupted giant cave spider with impossible regenerative properties, but better the devil you know than the devil you don't, right?

>>46024431
>[x] [KILL IT HARDER] Okay, if all three of you unleash everything you've got on this one goddamn spider, you should be able to outpace its regenerative powers. Probably.

>>46024431
>[ ] [KILL IT HARDER] Okay, if all three of you unleash everything you've got on this one goddamn spider, you should be able to outpace its regenerative powers. Probably.
Better save this silk to get us a purple cloak, Love equipping my kings guard dwarfs with purple cloaks.

>>46024431
>[ ] [KILL IT HARDER] Okay, if all three of you unleash everything you've got on this one goddamn spider, you should be able to outpace its regenerative powers. Probably
Come little sisters! Have at it!

>>46024431
>[x] [NONE PURER] Desperate times call for desperate vague measures! Sure, you'll probably summon something /worse/ than a void-corrupted giant cave spider with impossible regenerative properties, but better the devil you know than the devil you don't, right?

summon summon summonoming!

>>46024431
[ ] [NONE PURER] Desperate times call for desperate vague measures! Sure, you'll probably summon something /worse/ than a void-corrupted giant cave spider with impossible regenerative properties, but better the devil you know than the devil you don't, right?

>>46024431
>[X] [NONE PURER] Desperate times call for desperate vague measures! Sure, you'll probably summon something /worse/ than a void-corrupted giant cave spider with impossible regenerative properties, but better the devil you know than the devil you don't, right?

>>46024431
>[X] [KILL IT HARDER] Okay, if all three of you unleash everything you've got on this one goddamn spider, you should be able to outpace its regenerative powers. Probably.

Hey, it's healing pretty slow, wall it in. Just drop cobblestone all 'round it.
If necessary, kill it again to give Mojang time to get down here.
I don't trust nep to do it, because DF building takes longer, she'd struggle with the building mechanics because she's fucking retarded, and because DF doesn't really let you build like that, it wouldn't be in theme. Perfectly fine for minecraft though

>>46024631
To be fair, the main reason DF doesn't let you build like that is because the dorfs scatter like fucking roaches as soon as they come within a screen of anything even vaguely threatening.

>>46024631
Well, we did speedbuild multiple times while under attack, so it is possible, even if it isn't fitting the theme.

Still, I have to concurr that it wouldn't work because Neppumuk has effectively no experience in Dwar Fortress Building.

>>46024431
>[ ] [WRITE-IN] >>46024631
Just wall it in. Its basically
>[ ] [KITE IT TO THE BREACH]
without the kiting.

>>46024697
Well, no, it'll still require some kiting. It just involves 100% fewer breaches.

>>46024631
I vaguely recall some sort of spidersilk farm that uses an encased room with holes to collect silk in DF. is that possible?

>>46024677
Yeah, I know. That's what I mean. It's not true to the game, because you can pretty much never build walls directly around an enemy. But you do that shit all the time in minecraft, just switch to cobblestone and click like a madman. Also, building in DF actually takes time.
Plus nep's a shitter and would probably fuck up the corners or wall herself inside or forget the roof

If the killing fails for some reason we can talk about walling it off, I figure.

>>46024431
>[ ] [WRITE-IN]

Second in walling it in. Then we can farm its silk as well.

void corruption is blackish purple in color, right? Perfect silkwear for Neptune! CONTAMINATION, WHAT'S THAT?

>>46024431
>[ ] [KILL IT HARDER] Okay, if all three of you unleash everything you've got on this one goddamn spider, you should be able to outpace its regenerative powers. Probably.
Smash it into bits, then toss the bits into separate caverns and wall then off.

>>46024431
>[]TAME THE MONSTROSITY!

>>46024431
Tame it

Oh how I wish we had a Dwarven Atom Smasher set up, we must berate Neptune later for screwing around and not setting one up.

>>46024431
>tame the spider
just like how we tamed Carp!

>>46024431
>Tame the beast
Spider mount get

>>46024431
>[]TAME THE MONSTROSITY!
Sure, why not.

>>46025096
>>46024431
yas, I wants a TRUE DWARVEN MOUNT!

>>46025096
One the one hand, we could end up like the beastmaster with the 2 ferrets...
On the other hand, Rexxar.

>Kill it with fire.

>>46024431
>[]TAME THE MONSTROSITY!

Do this. Spider mount!

>>46025119
>yas, I wants a TRUE DWARVEN MOUNT!

>A Spider

...where should I begin where it doesn't add up? With BFME 2 or with WFB?

>>46025202
We already have a void shark. We don't need a frigging spider. just kill it.

>>46025223
> Not want to ride in on top our spider mount riding our void shark, while it uses its silk to pin down enemies so that we may smite them.

It's like you don't want to have an amazing answer to those pesky immortal casters we've been fighting.

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>>46024431
>[X] [KILL IT HARDER]
>[X] [IF THAT FAILS or super succeeds, EXPLORE MORE LUCRATIVE OPTIONS]

Shit. Okay, no time for fancy plans or elaborate schemes: all you CAN do is murder the damn thing faster than it can regenerate-

"I can help!"

- no, she really /can't/, unless she can use a crossbow.

"I can learn!"

You open your mouth to shoot her down. Then you catch the look in her eye, and the way she's shivering from barely-suppressed... nerves? Fear? But not fear for herself, not with the way she's straining toward the battle every time Purple Sister nearly gets caught up in a web.

With a growl, you once again reach into her inventory and pull out a much-battered but well-loved crossbow, thrusting it roughly into Neptune's hands. Fine. Hold the thing still, pull the trigger, and for Armok's sake, don't hit anyone but the spider, otherwise she's never hearing the end of it.

To your surprise, Neptune doesn't dispute that, nor does she crack any jokes- she just nods. "Got it!"

You leave her to it and dive headfirst into the battle, CPU Purple Heart's sword cutting a swathe through those thrice-damned webs. Whether by design or corruption, the giant cave spider seems to spew an entire bin's worth of silk with every second that passes, and you quickly gain altitude to avoid getting tangled up in a barrage. The longer you drag this battle out, the greater the chances you or Purple Sister will get swatted to the ground, and you don't fancy chancing goddessly vitality against paralyzing neurotoxins.

Good news is, it seems that all three of you plan on shutting this thing down as fast as possible.

(Cont.)

>>46025223
It's a pathetic samefagger. Don't worry about it.

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>>46025328
You pull your flight trajectory into a tight circle, your own speed crushing gravity against your body- and you catch a glimpse of Mojang, impossibly holding an entire gob of arrows in her off-hand while somehow firing her trademark long bow one-handed. Somehow, arrow after arrow thuds accurately into the freakish arachnid; the sight of that physics-defying feat makes your eyes /hurt/, and you spare a moment to be immensely proud of your surrogate little sister.

And then you're swerving back around, falling in line with Purple Sister. You finally get a good look at that monstrosity she calls a weapon as she shoots explosions (not bullets, not high-yield bombs, but /explosions/). It's like someone welded the dumbest parts of a sword with the dumbest parts of a firearm together, and somehow got the best of both worlds.

"Oneechan!" Mini-Nep exclaims. It takes you a split-second to realize she's referring to /you/, but you shake off how surreal it feels. She continues speaking, all butterflies and sparklies and straightforward innocence-

"Let's burn this motherfucker to the ground!"

- and hilariously filthily-cursed violence that you wholeheartedly agree with, because fuck /yeah/.

(Cont.)

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>>46025359
Matching each other's tempos, flight paths twisting across and through, you and mini-Nep slice over and across the spider in beautifully choreographed strafing runs. The monster doesn't have time to respond properly- when it turns to lash out at you, you're already away, and Purple Sister's cauterizing its legs; when it attacks /her/, you're up in its face, CPU Purple Heart's ridiculous blade carving spider meat faster than a legendary butcher.

Each attack hammers home the fact that CPU Purple Heart's body instinctively knows how to fit itself perfectly with Purple Sister's every movement; hell, it's like your own dumb dwarven instincts get in the way of that. Their teamwork goes beyond Gamindustri's whole obsession with sisters, and straight into the realm of divine goddesses made to complement each other perfectly.

... Neptune is one lucky goddess, and you've done her a big favor.

>Urist Twelfthbay and Purple Sister combine forces!
ROLL d100! (dice+1d100 in the email field)
Taking the best of three!

Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>46025380
c'mon dicey

Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>46025380

Gods of War

Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>46025380

Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>46025380

Forgot to mention- higher the better, with a bonus of +10!

Does anyone remember what happened to doom? Or is it still a mystery?

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Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>46025380

>>46025359
>It's like someone welded the dumbest parts of a sword with the dumbest parts of a firearm together, and somehow got the best of both worlds.
It's been so long that Urist has forgotten about Moru's gunlance.

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OKAY, we'll pick up next time, since it's a weekday night and I'm hitting my ceiling; it seems like we've got a high roll of 76+10, so that's more than enough to put the beast down without any problems!

We'll have the next thread on FRIDAY, 3/18, at 8-ish pm EST; updates to scheduling will go to https://twitter.com/BlorpQuest, while questions and stuff can generally go here or ask.fm/BlorpQuest!

Thanks for voting and participating, guys, and sorry for being slow for most of tonight. Hope you all enjoyed the thread, and I'll see you next thread!

>>46025475
Thanks Blorp.

>>46025475
Good night and a good sleep Blorp.

It was again slow yet very enjoyable.

shit, the tongue on this lady
don't look at me, she don't get it from my fuckin side of the family

>>46025534
a..anon?

>>46025475
Thanks so much for writing! It's such a pleasure to see this quest up.

>>46025414
went to hell

>>46025348
> anyone who votes for something i don't want is a samefag

Fuck off faggot.

>>46025475
Thanks Blorp for the thread! Looking forward to the next one.

Balance and good times to you!

>that feel when you realize urist is actually stupid strong ability wise but doesn't have the raw power behind her attacks
its like shes almost goddess tier but she has no sharicite so she can't do shit.
or the equivalent of being laggy as shit but a really good player in a game normally. also damn i missed this one, thanks blorp!

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>>46025475
Thanks for the run.

Funny to see Nepgear's got a M-rated vocabulary. That should be fun.

>>46025564
I think he's referring to Nepgear.

>>46025665
>I think he's referring to Nepgear.
yeah that was in reference to nepgear's fuckin' swearin' all the time.
just realized that the expression more commonly uses mouth rather than tongue but fuck it it's midnight

Ähm, could someone get this thread up on suptg.

I have no Idea how, otherwise, I would have done it.

>>46025791
this.

>>46025791
Done.

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>>46025791
>>46025870
>>46025927
I KNEW I FORGOT SOMETHING.

Shit, I'm really out of it tonight. Thanks for catching it, guys, and g'night!

>>46025359
>"Let's burn this motherfucker to the ground!"
Nepgear I'm proud.

If we get out of this alive and return to our own bodies, we should have a large booze party with everyone in Hyperdimension.

>>46025957
Gnight and gmorning Blorp!

>just arrived
>Blorp leaves
FUCK

>>46027403
It can't be helped. I wasn't expecting a thread today either, I only clicked his twitter to check what day he was pushing it back to

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Nepgear is cute. CUTE!

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We gonna have to tell everything to Histoire later.

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>>46027661
Who is going to have to explain to Histoire why Nepgear is swearing?

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>>46028081
Okay, maybe Urist will stay in Lowee, out of Histoire's violent claws.

She does have the habit of smacking Neptune (at least in fanworks, probably less in the games).

>>46028081
personally I blame nep

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How long until we finally meet NOWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGHHHHHH?

>>46028247
Fuck off scum.

>>46025629
But she has sharicite... Its called Temptbleaches the dutiful chastity

>>46028646
But doesn't Urists already using all that sharicite to stay in control of Purple Heart?

>>46028686
>But doesn't Urists already
I dun goofed.
Isn't Urist already using that shit to do her crap?

>>46028247
>even here, sc/u/m

>>46028686
Nnope, all she knows/uses the sharicite for is to stave off the void

>>46028709
And all she'd need is three people to believe in her for activating HDD

>>46029376
Mojang and NepJunior already do.
Just one more.

>>46029384
What if we can get Nep to believe in us? Or Shovelknight

>>46029376
Well, they were all goddesses, so they probably count for much more than 3 people.

>>46029398
That's the opposite. Goddesses don't count, because they're basically already believing in themselves, and can't believe in someone else.

>>46029459
Then explain how Blanc managed HDD when literally everybody in her nation stopped believing in her except for 3 goddesses that did.

>>46029486
All the CPUs are bugged in HDD form currently.

>>46029505
So you haven't played Victory or Rebirth 3 then.

>>46029532
So you haven't read the Quest. Good to know, I was wasting my time with a retard.

>>46029384
Well, I would think Estelle believes in us, even though we haven't seen her for ages.

>>46030565
I though she believed in Blanc?

>>46029376
She's already in Purple Heart's body, you fucking retard.