>>2402444
Arch Magnus "Magnus the Mighty, Gate-Breaker and Friend of Giants"

200/200Hp

Death Touched. Your brief jaunt through the land of the dead gifted you with superhuman durability. +10 armor

Spirit blade. Fallen warriors of ages past whisper in your ears, Guiding your strikes. +10 to attack rolls and damage

Huge- Magnus is a big guy. Even for you. +50 to Hp and +10 to feats of strength. Allows dual wielding of great weapons and allows the use of Ultra Weapons.

Runes-
Rune of the Giant- +50HP, +10 to strength checks and an additional attack die with great and ultra weapons.

Combat Skills-
Iron Fist Counter. When dual wielding and defending, your highest success roll will result in a counter. Roll 1 damage dice.

Ruinous slash-Great weapon skill. A single, powerful attack that removes 1/4 of your enemies armor and does +1dd damage.

>Gear
Magnus's Hammer. (Great Weapon) A heavy, brutal weapon with a serrated, angled head, a vicious spike on the reverse and a butt cap of solid steel.

Battle Spear (Great Weapon)- the bastard love child of a sword and a spear. Improved with the Dark Moon blade of Reinhart Sonum, this weapon carves through flesh and leaves ice in the veins of your foes. 2d100 +1d100 ice damage when used as your primary weapon.

3 Heavy throwing axes. Perfect for burying in a mans skull from twenty yards.

Fighting Dagger. Great for surprise blows under a jaw.

Mail-Reinforced Leather armor- boiled leathers reinforced with mail offer substantial protection
+30 armor

Warrior Helm-This angular, brutal looking helm offers decent protection while keeping your vision clear. +5 armor

Spiked Pauldron-Your left shPulder and bicep are coated in overlapping steel plate with a vicious spike jutting from the center. +10 armor

IronCapped Boots-Thick, reinforced, mildly spiked boots that guard your shins, toes and calves. +5 armor

Heavy gauntlets. Thick articulated gauntlets that extend to your elbows, allowing you to block enemy blows easily even without a shield. +5 armor.

Blessed Great shield- a massive slab of silver engraved steel adorned with decorations of the Moon goddess and her seven hundred saints. You really need to redecorate it. +15 armor when equipped.

Trophies-
Shrieker Head
Eolhim's Legion Longsword and Dagger. (1handed)
Harald's Saber (1handed)

Current loot hoard-
Shrieker Fangs (Ingredient)
Hearts blood (Ingredient)
Shrieker Claws
Shrieker Hide
Shrieker Eyes
Shrieker tendons
6L in various goods, furs, Trinkets, coins and other valuables.

Thralls and Property-
Aella of Rhya's hill. Can be gifted to others.
Mylea-Claimed after raid of Rhya's Hill.
Ysolde-Claimed after Raid of Rhya's Hill.
Keera-Claimed during the sack of MoonBend

You stand from your bedroll as the early morning light pierces the haze of the night. Lionel rubs his eyes tiredly, yawning from his hours on the night watch. Balon, Arvel and Falhim animatedly argue over how much of the Cliff Jumper meat they could fit into their packs. By the droplets of blood trickling from the bottom of Balons pack you can assume they have plenty.

Your party sets to the trail with single minded purpose, reaching the tomb of Trulas Storm-Blade. Its a days travel there from where you currently camp but you're sure that the misfortunes of the road are behind you.

>Speak to a companion

>Timeskip to camp

>>2402637
>Timeskip to camp

>>2402637
>>Timeskip to camp

>>2402637
>Timeskip to camp

>>2402642
>>2402646
>>2402648
>Still forgoing the backstory

Talk to falhim. Let's learn more about our companions

>>2402637
>Timeskip to camp

>Timeskip to Camp
>Roll me 1d100 for your days travel

Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>2402704
>Inb4 moon dust addict

Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>2402704

Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>2402704

Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>2402704

Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>2402704

>>2402814
Damm what we get form not talking to people

>>2402817
We're going to get our shit pushed in by a hopped up moon Knight

>>2402826
Usually the maximum number of rolls warlord will account for is the first 3 so I don't think we should worry too much.

>59>DC55

While the trail itself is devoid of enemy tribes, moon knight patrols, roaming monsters or natural disasters, the sky does not share its mercy. Endless cold sheets of rain fall relentlessly all throughout the day. Your breath puffs out in clouds of white in the near freezing, damp conditions and the thin soil along the trail becomes slick and greasy mud. Only the oils soaked into your leathers and your companions hide and fur garb keeps the moisture from soaking you down to the bone.

You finally stumble into a small, narrow cave only barely big enough for your group as the sky finally darkens, the relentless rain turning to freezing slush and sleet. You shiver slightly, ringing out your waterlogged hair you rub your hands together, willing warmth into your fingers.
"Wren? How far are we from the Cairn?"
You call out to the scout, a flint and tinderbox already hard at work in his hands, smoke curling from the bundle of twigs and dried branches scraped together from the floor floor of the cave. Without a word he points toward the mouth of the cave. Peering outside, a flash of lighting illuminates spires of stacked stone and a rounded mound. Before the light fades you think for a moment you detect torchlight emanating from within the structure.

Arvel and Urhost strip off their bearskin cloaks, making use of Falhim's and Lionels spears to make a makeshift flap for the cave mouth, preventing others from seeing into your shelter and insulating you from the chill of the storm.
"Fuckin' chilly out there"
Urhost remarks, peeling small beads of ice from his beard.

Arvel scoffs, working his numb fingers
"Colder'n a ice giants balls out there"

Balon smirks, feeding the fledgling fire a lump of bone dry wood and nearly shoving his fingers into the coals
"Been feeling lots'a giant balls there 'ave ya?"

Torbos sits quietly near the rear of the cave, staring off into the distance and rubbing a small amulet between his fingers.

>Converse with a companion

>get some sleep and try to warm up

>>2402873
>Converse with a companion
Talk to torbos. We haven't rrally spoke to him at all during this quest.

Ask about the amulet he's holding.

>>2402873
>Converse with a companion
Talk to torbos.

>>2402873
>Converse with a companion
Tell wren about the possible torchlight we saw; should we do some scouting?

>Talk to Torbos

You shake your hair and beard out, relishing the fact that the cave is steadily warming from the small crackling fire and the body heat of eight people. Making your way over to Torbos you drop down heavily onto the stone next to him. He jumps, obviously deep in thought but grins tiredly, rubbing the carved bone amulet with his thumb
"Hey there Magnus. Sorry I got a bit... A bit distracted. Never liked storms much. Not since..."

>Not since what?

>Whats that amulet there?

>What do you think about this tomb raiding?

>Other

>>2403082
>Whats that amulet there?

>>2403082
>Not since what?

>>2403082
>>Not since what?

"Since what?"
You ask, looking down at the angular carved lump of bone. In the flickering light it resembles a human skull for a moment before it is illuminated as a rune covered ivory amulet.

Torbos sighs, rolling the ball of his thumb across the amulet. He flinches slightly as lightning cracks, thunder rolling across the mountains like the roar of a angered giant.
"N-nothing important Magnus. Im fine, I promise."

>Torbos is ashamed. Roll me 1d100 to see if you can convince him to tell you.

Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>2403200

Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>2403200
"No pressure, friend. We all have our scars, some of us ugly fucks just have the bad luck of wearing them on the outside."

>>2403227
>just have the bad luck of wearing them on the outside.
Its the other way around

>41 squeaks by DC40

You pat Torbos on the shoulder, the younger man, barely past manhood, actually trembling beneath his damp furs.
"No pressure friend. We all have our scars. Some of us ugly bastard just have the fortune to have them on the outside. Talk. You'll feel better."

Torbos chuckles, shaking his head slowly before nodding, swallowing heavily
"N-never really liked storms. I-I uh... When I was younger... I went out exploring with my cousin, Naen and a few friends. We.. We got lost when a storm hit, a big one. We hid inside a cave and tried to wait it out... Naen, he was always braver than me. He went to go get help, told us to wait and try to stay warm. He gave me this..."
Torbos holds up the small medallion and smiles sadly
"He told me it would keep me safe... He gross to death Magnus. Only a few hundred feet from the Crag itself. Nobody could hear him yelling for help over the storm. If he hadn't been alone maybe... Maybe he wouldn't have died."

>What say?

>>2403317
Why the fuck did Froze correct to Gross? Ugh kill me plz

>>2403317
"He died nobly, Torbos. And this is why we have the warband; none of us fight alone."

>>2403327
>kill me please
we both know I'm incapable of that, QM.

>>2403317
We're your family, torbos. You'll never be alone.

>>2403406
>>2403415
Combine these. He chose to save his family, the warband is our family. Sometimes one of ours is taken from us, we don't have to think about whose to blame, especially with acts of nature and gods. What we can do is remember the greatness in that persons life.

You chew the inside of your cheek as you consider Torbos's story. The horrible guilt and self-blaming after the death of a friend could eat you alive.
"He died nobly Torbos. Trying to save others. But this is why we have the warband. So none of us have to fight, struggle or die alone."

Torbos wipes his nose, shaking his head.
"I let him die. Alone. Cold. Terrified. Because I was scared. Scared of the storm"

You grip Torbos's upper arm and shake him slightly, forcing the young man to look at you
"He chose to save his family. The Tribe, The war and, that is our family. He died alone yes but he did it to save others, those he considered HIS family. Sometimes one of ours is taken from us, we don't have to think about whose to blame, especially with acts of nature and gods. What we can do is remember the greatness in that persons life"

Torbos blinks away shamed tears and nods slowly, his thumbnail ticking against the bone.
"Y-you've got a good point Magnus. I-ill think about what you said"

>Increased Relation with Torbos.

>Speak more with Torbos

>Speak with a companion

>Get some sleep

>>2403494
>Get some sleep

>>2403317
Mybe if he wast trying to be a hero and trust in his friends a bit more you all could have goten out of it together.

Sometimes durningstorms the best you can do is sit tight and hopw it passes.

>>2403494
Time for a funny dirty taven story for thr boys

>Any other anons want to vote?

>>2403502
This. Let's have some fun, foster some more goodwill.

>Tavern Story wins.
>What say?

>>2403546
I'd actually see if we can't all try and one up each other. Maybe draw lots to see who goes first? Totally not because I have no idea what to say at the moment.

>>2403546
Start by taunting Arvel that we are going to drink him under the table when we get back.

>>2403597
After he's nice and mad we finish with telling him that after he passes out drunk we'll be banging all the women in sight while his limp dick lays in stale split beer and vomit.

>Taunting Arvel wins.

You pat Torbos on the back again, the younger warrior deep in thought as you stand, rolling your shoulders.
"Arvel! I hope you dont think im impressed! Beating that cave stalker like a ugly child when we both know I damn near fed you your teeth!"
You call out, the hulking warrior laughing madly and poking Urhost with his shoulder

"Ah yer lucky I was just drunker'n usual! If I was sober id'a slapped yer ugly mug around with me prick!"
He guffaws, cracking his scarred knuckles with a grin. Urhost smirks, raising his eyebrows incredulously. Lionel and Balon share a look and shrug while Falhim snickers. You plow on, stepping over the fire and poking your companion in the chest.
"Oh drunker than usual eh? I could drink ten times more than you, fuck your mother, molest your ancestors and then drink you back under the table so far you might never drink again!"
Your companions burst into laughter as Arvel sputters and attempts to retort
"Aye! Aye? Ill-ill..."

You plow on mercilessly, jabbing your friend in the chest with each word
"We both know when we get back im going to drink every drop of ale in the crag, fuck every woman in sight, kick your ass again and leave your limp dick in a puddle of vomit and spilt beer"

The small cave rings with hysterical laughter as Arvel finally cracks and collapses laughing, tears running into his thick beard as you haul him up and pound his back happily.
"Its on then!"
He roars, punching you in the gut playfully.

>Speak with a companion

>Get some sleep

>Other

>>2403729
>Get some sleep
Well then we better go raidingfor some of that beer for this drinking contest

>>2403729
>>Get some sleep

>>2403743
+1

>>2403729
>>Get some sleep

sleep sleep

>>2403729
>Get some sleep

>sleepitimess

You spend a few minutes joking and trading insults with your companions before you retire for the night. Rolling out your slightly damp bedroll near the fire you soak in the warmth while listening to the chatter of your companions and the roar of the storm outside.

Your dreams are dark and murky, fragments of faces you've never seen and places you've never been. Whispering shadows pull at your skin and hair, whispering some urgent message you can't quite hear. You're pulled awake still desperately trying to hear their words.

"Magnus. The storms passed and Wren's got some news."
Urhost says gently, shaking your shoulder while crouching next to you.

You sit up blearily, rubbing sleep from your eyes and stretching stiff and sore muscle
"'m up"
You grunt, working your jaw and attempting to unstick your tongue from the roof of your mouth.

Urhost chuckles, patting your shoulder and begins tending the fire and turning a small spit laden with chunks of meat from Balons pack.

You push yourself upright and look around. Most of your companions are around the entrance to the cave, enjoying the warm morning light after the bonechilling damp of yesterday. Wren sits atop a small outcrop, a strange tube of hard leather, crystal and wood held to his eye.

>Go speak with Wren. What's the news?

>Go speak with a companion

>Speak with Urhost

>Get a look at the ruins yourself

>Other

>>2404160
>Speak with Wren. What's the news?

>>2404163
+1

>>2404160
>Go speak with Wren. What's the news?

You stride through the cave, pushing through the small cluster of your companions lounging on sunwarmee rocks and approach Wren. The scout has smeared the outside layer of his furs with dust and dirt and soot, giving it the mottled appearance of stone. If it wasn't for his hands and head emerging from it you would never be able to pick him out of the crevice.
"Urhost said you had news for me?"
You crouch behind the outcrop hes laying on, peering over the edge at the ruin of the Cairn. Wren clicks his teeth behind his mask, twisting the tube he holds to his eye and grimacing.
"Good news and bad news Magnus. Which do you want to hear first?"

>Give me the good news

>Give me the bad news

>>2404202
>give me the bad news.

>>2404202
>Give me the bad news.

>>2404202
>>Give me the good news

>>2404202
>Give me the bad news
Tell us Wren, what was that light?

You sigh, pinching your nose and shaking your head
"Whats the bad news?"

Wren clicks his teeth, muttering to himself for a moment before putting down his spyglass and looking down at you
"Well... The Cairn isn't empty. There's easily a dozen men down there. And not regular treasure hunters or tribals honoring their ancestors. I count at least four heavily armed and armored men, bodyguards if some sort most likely. There's one twat in there that's in charge. Only seen him twice. Big silver staff, black robes with silver threads, always hooded. Looks like some sort of priest."

You curse, the last thing you wanted to deal with was a group of those moon worshipping cunts.
"The fuck are THEY doing here?"
You ask angrily

Wren shrugs, bringing the glass back up to his eye
"Couldn't really tell you. Id guess that they're destroying 'heretical relics' seeing as ive seen them smash damn near everything they find. Bastards love destroying anything their silver cunt doesn't like"

You sigh, rubbing your forehead
"Whats the GOOD news then?"

Wren chuckles, pointing to a makeshift hitching post shattered to pieces and a conspicuous lack of the hitched horses.
"Their horses bolted in the storm. Theyre about to send some men to go fetch them"

You smile viciously. That IS good news.

>A Seeker and his retinue have taken over the Cairn of Trulas Storm-Blade for the purpose of destroying relics. Their horses have bolted and they are, for the moment, stuck there.

>What do?

>>2404263
>ask wren his plan
Let's fucking do this

>>2404263
prepare for battle

>>2404263
Wait in ambush. Ghost the horse-fetchers, then see if we can't draw them out and pick off a few until it's an even fight. Then we swing the fuckhammer.

>>2404263
Wait for the men sent to fetch the horses, ambush them and kill them as quickly and quietly as possible. I’d say wait until nighttime to attack the rest but they’re probably stronger in moonlight, or at least their leader is. We could wait for a second group to get sent to look for them and the horses though. Then the rest will be easy pickings.

Maybe ask our two newest recruits what they’d know about the guy in charge, do the priests have any magic powers or anything like that?

>>2404263
>Prep for combat

>>2404263
Get ready to butt furk soome moon bitchs

Us and the others will keep the big boys busy and wen seanks around and kills the seeker ( prist)

>>2404276
>>2404301
Seems like a solid plan. Support

>>2404470
>>2404301
>>2404276
Sound nice but remver there distoring all the loot Nd shit that we wanted from the place soo dont wait too long as there wont be anything left to loot

>Ambush the Horse-Fetchers

You rub your chin as you think and finally come to a plan. Ambushing the men sent to catch the horses will deplete their numbers down to a manageable level while preventing any from escaping. You inform Wren of your plan and the scout nods, closing his spyglass and tucking it into his furs.
"That was what i was going to suggest anyway. If we get rid of those men, they'll be much easier to deal with"

You quickly inform the rest of your companions of the situation and the impending fight. Lionel swears as you describe the robed man and nudges Balon
"Finally get to stick one of those pompous zealots eh?"

You figure there is some lingering bitterness between your new recruits and make sure to ask them sometime but right now you need to decide

>Ambush the men from above with Lionel, Torbos and Wren

>Ambush the men on the trail with your full group

>Other

>>2404482
Good point. I vote we ghost the horsefetchers ASAP and then maybe have Arvel, Lionel, & Balon taunt them out to battle, then we bushwhack them. Just so long as somebody tells them about how the Moon Goddess likes to take Vall's veiny dick.

>>2404494
>Ambush from above
And send Urhost, Arvel, & Balon to lay an ambush for the lads in the tomb.

>>2404494
>>Ambush the men from above with Lionel, Torbos and Wren

Don't worry about the stuff in the tomb. We just need tomb dust. Everything else is gravy

>>2404494
Ambush the men on the trail
Wen gose in from behind
Or bush sinping

>>2404560
We i think every one eils on this trip would want something and not just binng a dick and only getting something out of it.
Want some shingy

If we just need grave dust just lwt them fonsh burn shit and we can walk in after them

>Ambush from above

"Wren, Lionel, Torbos. On me. Were gonna hit those pricks from the rocks above them when they leave. Urhost, you, Falhim, Balon and Arvel stay here. Don't let the buggers sneak out by you."
You rattle off your orders quickly, making your way down the trail, following the rise of the rock with Wren and the others close behind.

A mile or so down the trail you find a perfect outcropping over the trail, the men having to pass by directly underneath with no nearby cover and a dizzying drop on the far side. You take up your position, the others posting up behind nearby outcrops and boulders. Lionel points at the bundle of axes on your belt questioningly
"Are you really going to use those?"

>Damn straight I am

>Lots of big rocks up here

>anybody got a spare?

>Other

>>2404717
>>Lots of big rocks up here
Our FoS is way suited for this

>>2404717
>>Lots of big rocks up here

>>2404717
>Lots of big rocks up here

>Lots of big rocks up here.

You raise an eyebrow and smirk at Lionels confusion, reaching down to grip a rock the size of a mans head, tossing it in your palm as easily as a pebble
"I think im good"

Wren and Torbos laugh quietly as Lionel shrugs, muttering to himself about "damn strong fuckers". You lean against your rock and watch the trail, the faint voices of the horse wrangling party carried on the wind. You grip the jagged rock tightly and wet your lips, waiting for the men to come under your ambush point.

>Roll me 1d100 to see how the ambush begins (whether you get the drop on them)

>>2404717
>Lots of big rocks up here

Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>2404819

Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>2404819

>70!
>Got the drop!

The group of a half dozen black and silver garbed men comes around a bend in the trail, spears used as walking sticks and long, broad bladed daggers stuck through their belts under their cloaks. Mail and blackened strips of steel reinforce the dark leathers protecting their chests, thighs and forearms. They also complain. Loudly.
"We'll be doing this shit all day"
"Where the bloody fuck are those horses?
"Jaym! How, by the Silver Lady's glittering CUNT, do you forget to hobble the horses?!"
One shouts, smacking another upside the head with his spear shaft. The struck man stumbles and falls, a passing member of the group merely kicking him in the belly until he rises. Lionel huffs to himself and you shrug.
"Looks like a fun bunch"

The group of Initiates begins passing under your position, berating the unfortunate member of their group and never once thinking to look up. You heft your stone and lean over the side, bringing your arm around.

>Roll me 1d100+20 for stone throwing (FoS)

Rolled 16 + 20 (1d100 + 20)

>>2404936

>>2404982
jesus christ i'm as bad as axe anon

Rolled 91 + 20 (1d100 + 20)

>>2404936
Saving it

Rolled 59 + 20 (1d100 + 20)

>>2404936

>>2405025
well done anon

>>2405025
Magnus used rockslide. It was super effective!

>111! Extra critical success
>Magnus used Rockslide!

You heft the rock high and sling it downward with all your might, throwing all your bodyweight into the throw. Wren, Lionel and Torbos pivot over their cover, drawing, aiming and looking all in one movement. The Initiates below barely even have time to register they are under attack before three of them fall back, arrows sprouting from throats, eye sockets and hearts.
"Wha-what the fuck!"
"Whats happening!!!
"Fanis! Get up man get up"
"We gotta get outta he-*thwak*"

The panicking Initiate collapses as a jagged rock the size of his own head collapses his skull. His body is thrown backward by the impact, sailing over the edge. You reach down to heft the another rock but stumble as the stone you stand on shifts, your bulk and movement too much for the fractured layers of stone. You quickly leap away, toward solid stone and call for your companions.
"Away from the edge! Jump!"

Moving quickly your companions leap away from the rapidly shifting surface and roll to safety as the initates below attempt to run for safety. Their frenzied dash bears no fruit as several tons of gravel, thin soil and jagged stone sweep over them like a wave, crushing them to paste and bearing them off the edge of the trail, dashing what remains of their bodies to paste.

You sit, your feet inches from the new Cliffside and laugh madly, standing and spitting over the edge
"Now that's how you throw rocks"

Lionel stares wide eyed at the mind boggling drop he very nearly became a part of and swears to himself, shaking his head and hauling Torbos to his feet
"Fucking Madmen. Madmen I swear"

Torbos shrugs, gesturing to you.
"you kind of get used to things like that with Magnus"

>head back and regroup

>head back and attack the ruins

>Other

>>2405128
>head back and attack the ruins
Do we have everyone with us?

>>2405128
>head back and regroup
>Other
Ask wren if he thinks they'll send another group out. We can easily catch another squad in an ambush

>>2405128

>head back and attack the ruins

There's four of us, can handle half a dozen moonies and I'd rather give them an extra hour to destroy the resting place of a hero. Granted, we're going to be looting the place, but it's what whoever it was would've wanted.

>>2405134
nah man urhost and the non range guys are at the base

>>2405128
>>head back and regroup

>Head back and attack. Skip planning phase (Bold move cotton)

The quick hike back to your camp is accomplished with minimal whining from Torbos and Lionel, the mile and a half melting away nearly before you know it. While you inform Urhost of the outcome of your ambush, Torbos excitedly tells Arvel and Balon how you had wiped out the squad by causing a Rockslide with your fist.

Taking up position on the trail down to the ruin, you note a pair of the heavily armed and armored men standing guard by the entrance while four other men sit around a campfire, repairing their gear and talking amongst themselves

>Gear select

>Hammer and Spear

>Hammer and Shield

>Spear and Shield

>Fighting Dagger and Thorn Dagger

>Bare Hands?

>>2405155
Ah shit I started writing before I saw you anon. My bad :(

>>2405175
>>Hammer and Spear
Since we've decided that we're a one man show, we need to deal as much damage as possible.

>>2405175
>Hammer and Spear

>>2405175

>Hammer and Shield

>>2405175

> Hammer and Spear

Let's test out the moonblade on the moonies.

>>2405175
>Spear & Shield
Let's show off the trophies we took from (((their))) big guys.

>>2405214
Actually changing to this, might be a moral decrease.

>>2405175
>Spear and Shield

The heavy guys are probably heavy infantry or true knights. The spear does 3 damage dice per hit so I'd take the spear and the +15 armor from the shield to max our damage and armor. Need to be careful around knights they aren't scrub tier mooks (or at least they shouldn't be).

>>2405226
Putting this out there hammers do more damg vs armour then spears or blades

>shield
Pffffft
>Et tu axeanon?
Fiiiiine we'll play it safe for one round then we fuckhammer.

>>2405237
When have I ever not been in favor of spear-and-shieldfaggery? Answer: when I'm in favor of axefaggery

>Spear and Shield seems to win
>Writing

>>2405175
>>Hammer and Spear

You bring your shield around your back, sliding your forearm through the thick, leather straps and gripping the sturdy inset grip. Your battle spear, cold and sharp as a frozen razor rasps as you draw it free, the enchanted blade seeming to smoke in the air.
"Lets go introduce ourselves shall we?"
You chuckle, twirling the four foot blade like anyone else would a a dagger.

Stepping out onto the trail, your men quickly following behind you. Wren and Torbos take up position on small ridges while Urhost and Arvel flank you, weapons gleaming viciously as you stalk down the trail. The heavily armoured men notice your group first, stepping forward and drawing their weapons. Their black and silver armor covers them completely, a cloak of black cloth twisted with silver threads hangs from their shoulders while angular helms with a great in the shape of a crescent moon emerging from the top like a ornate axe blade. One calls out, thumping his halberd into the ground
"Who goes there? Who dares approach the Wardens of the Moonlight Chapel? In the name of Lady Nyx and Seeker Rethal I command you, Turn back!"

>What say?

>Fuck words, insert spear.

>>2405234
True but so far there is no such bonus to armored enemies with the hammer (at least from what I remember). You are correct that blunt force weapons are good against armor but our hammer just does 2 damage dice with no bonus toward armored enemies. If the spear is our primary weapon we get 3 damage dice and with the shield our armor goes up significantly.

>>2405341
>What say?
"Magnus the slayer of the darkmoon approaches! And i'm going to fuck you harder than Vall does your whore of a goddess!"

>jimmies shall be rustled

>>2405341
>i'm going to fuck you harder than Vall does your whore of a goddess!"

>>2405341
>"Your goddess drips with Vall's seed, and your Seeker laps it up on his knees!"
Then icespear him in the dick.

>>2405363
+1

>>2405355
oh my god... That's so brutal

"I, Magnus, Slayer of the Lion Knight, Bane of the Dark Moon, Breaker of Castle Vollsung approach. And im going to fuck you harder than Vall does your whore of a goddess!"
You roar, slamming the rim of your shield into the ground, stopping thirty paces from the men. Your companions spread out alongside you, weapons gleaming evilly.

The Wardens and the black garbed initiates advance, spears and Halberds gripped tightly, black, diamond shaped shields hefted in front of them. The same one who spoke before sputters in rage, twisting his head to look at his counterpart
"What.. What did you SAY?!"
He sputters, his voice rising to a bellow of rage

You chuckle, looking around at your companions and raise your voice
"I SAID.. Your goddess is Vall's whore! Her silver cunt drips with Valls seed and your high seeker laps it up on his KNEES!"
Your companions burst into laughter, slamming their weapons together and taking up a chant of
"Valls Whore! Valls Whore! Valls Whore!"

The Wardens erupt into screams of incoherent rage, leveling their weapons before finding their voices
"HERESY! SLAY THE HERETICS!"

>Magnus and 7 companions have engaged 2 Wardens and 4 Initiates.

>Engage 1 Warden

>Engage both Wardens

>Engage (how many) initiates

>>2405413
>>Engage both Wardens

>>2405396
My only regret is that the priest isn't a priestess. Fucking a priestess and getting her pregnant on top of everything else would make this absolutely perfect.

>>2405413
>Engage both Wardens
We boasted hard, now let's back it up.

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29 KB JPG

>>2405413
>Engage both Wardens

Fuck it. Might as well go balls deep on this one, not like the two wardens wouldn't try their best to claw their way to us anyways.

Also
>TFW QM adds both insult options just for shits and giggles

>>2405413

> Engage both Wardens

They'll likely receive a bonus for their frothing rage, but I don't care, that was well-worth it.

>>2405436
>Frothing

Much like Nyx's twat after Vall finishes.

>>2405438
Okay QM This was just a hint of speculation that was started by me (I was the anon who made the thumping comment who started these shenanigans). But does Vall really fuck Nyx? Is that the reason she hates us and the other barbarians, because she's tired of Vall pounding her like a cheap nail with his godhammer?

>>2405441
It's as good a reason as any. Vall does what Vall wants

>>2405441

I feel it would be best if Nyx's whose status remained ambiguous, the insult doesn't mean as much when we know it to be true or untrue, and finding out for certain would be a great in-character goal.

>Magnus has engaged
>200hp
>70armor

>Warden Kael
>150hp
>65 armor
>Masterwork weapon-+10 damage
>Armor of Faith- Cannot be frightened in combat.
>Enraged- forgoes defense in favor of increased Rip and Tear (-2D +2A)

>Warden Aster
>150HP
>65 armor
>Masterwork Weapons-+10 Damage
>Armor of Faith
>Enraged

>Attack

>Defend

>Fight dirty

>FoS

>Other

>>2405441
Nyx hates Vall for a plethora of reasons. The Almost-Goddess of the Moon being a cocksleeve for our MC's divine patron is simply highly amusing and may or may not be Canon.

>>2405454

> Fight Dirty: Trip Warden Kale, then Ruinous Slash him while he's down

>>2405454
>FoS

>>2405454
Magnus stats for this fight
>Battle Spear as main weapon (3A, 2D, 3DD)
>Great Shield (+0A, 3D, +15 Armor)
>Fighting dagger (1A, 1DD)
>Throwing Axes (1A, 2DD)
>Pauldron (+1DD for shoulder ram attacks)
>Boots and gauntlets (increased kick and punch DD)
>Helm (+1DD when headbutting)

>>2405454
> Fight Dirty: Trip Warden Kale, then Ruinous Slash him while he's down

This is a good option

>>2405454
>>Fight dirty
can we just keep on insulting them

>>2405475
This. We need to strip some armor. Ruinous slash on kale

>>2405454
>>Fight dirty
use dirty trick like using shield to hide your throwing axes before they approach .

Rolled 24 (1d100)

>Trip Kael and ram a ruinous slash up his anus.
>Roll me 1d100 best of 3 for tripping success. Beat Kael's resist roll and well roll some more.

Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>2405510

Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>2405510

Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>2405510

Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>2405510

>63>24. Kael eats dirt.
>Roll part 2. Roll me 1d100+10 for landing Ruinous Slash. Because Kael is face down in the dirt (a lot like Nyx) all you have to do is beat 50.

Rolled 28 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>2405517

Rolled 28 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>2405517

Rolled 58 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>2405517

>>2405520
>>2405521
Well fuck bro. Someone save our sorry asses

>>2405523
Saved

>>2405523
good save anon

>68>50.
>Ruinous slash hits!
>Roll me one (1) 4d100+10 First come first serve. This is gonna hurt.

Rolled 56, 27, 83, 35 + 10 = 211 (4d100 + 10)

>>2405539

>>2405541
...missed one-shotting him by 4hp. Unless the damage hits after the armor gets nerfed.

>>2405539
>Kale-ka-bob

>>2405549
4hp left is usually a mortal wound. Even if he survives his ass is bleeding out.

>Damage result
>Warden Kael
>150HP
>65 Armor
>211-65=146
>150-146=4. Warden Kael is mortally wounded!
>RS armor damage- 65 - 25% = 49Armor

(Warden Aster was defending that turn anyway which is why he didnt get a free shot at you)

>Writing

>>2405560
Correct. Anything below 10 is a mortal wound. Mortal wound means they are dying but not dead. They can still hurt you if you get careless though.

File: regret_this_decision_anchorman.gif (767 KB, 500x281)

767 KB GIF

>>2405565
>face enemy who insults your goddess in the worst way
>your battle brother and you are in a frenzy
>you battle brother advances to kill the heathen
>turtle like a fucking dumbass and see your comrade get tripped and cut in half
>Barbarian doesn't even get scratched
>Your face when you have to fight him alone

You flick your wrist and hold your battle spear ready, freezing mist rising from the enchanted steel as the two Wardens charge. One catches a pair of arrows on his shield and balks for a moment but the other continuing fearlessly, the green eyes behind his helm wide and glassy in complete, fanatical fury. A endless cry emerges from beneath his helm, a cry of
"HEEEERRRREEEETIIIIICC"
that comes to a pitch as he levels his Halberd to bring the bright, razor sharp edge hacking down into your neck.

Hes so engrossed in carving into your heretical flesh that he fails to react appropriately as you sidestep and while, bringing the rim of your shield around to slam into his shins.

"Watch your step"
You chuckle darkly as the mans battle cry cuts off in a cry of pain as his shins, guarded as they are by plate, shatter like dry twigs. He flips bodily, doing a complete somersault and slamming into the ground face first so hard you can hear his helm shatter his front teeth. His counterpart cries out in shock
"Kael! No!"

As you stand over the stunned and crippled Warden. Honestly you had expected one of the chapel guards to be... Well... Better. But that's a thought for another time. You heft your blade and bring the freezing steel down onto the mans back with a slash so fast and vicious the air hums in its passage.

Armor parts like silk before a razor, flesh like ice before a flame. The blade carves into the mans body so deeply you can simply see *through* him. Ribs, spine, organs, all are helpless to stop the passage of the blade as it buries into the ground, blood spurting high as you wrench the blade free. Somehow, impossibly, the Warden is still alive despite nearly being bisected, his fingers digging into the stony soil as he attempts to drag himself forward, blood pooling around him.
"Tough bastard"
You remark, adjusting your grip as you turn to face the remaining Warden, the man bravely standing his ground.
"Now. Ive gotta fuck ONE of you. You feeling frisky?"
You smile cruelly and the Warden snarls in hate, casting aside his shield to grip his Halberd

"In A Faithful Death, Endless Glory!"
He cries, charging you with his Halberd held high

>Attack

>Defend

>Feat of Strength

>Fight Dirty

>Other

>>2405603
>>Attack

>>2405603
>Attack
Dumbass has gone full retard. Now he has most likely lost armor and what little defense he had left. If we out damage him (which we most likely will) he's just gonna die.

>>2405603

> Attack

Props for guts, but against us, that doesn't mean much more than scenery.

>>2405603
>>Feat of Strength
Bullrush him and knock his ass down, we don't have to trade with a chump like this

>>2405618
I'm going to change to this. Hopefully he can die from falling

File: 1477966902872.jpg (24 KB, 639x402)

24 KB JPG

>>2405615
>Attempting to out DPS the fuckhammer

>>2405603
>Attack & Defend
If we can? Shield held overhead, kneel and duck under it, thrust with our spear into his belly.

>>2405629
I would count that as an attack. I do like strategy and specific moves being suggested.

>>2405618
I'll switch too. We're more likely to succeed anyway with a +20 and we'll make him vulnaerable by doing so.

Also because I want to get to the next update as fast as possible.

Rolled 17, 29, 49, 26, 71 = 192 (5d100)

>Attack Wins

>Magnus is Attacking
>Warden Aster is attacking + Frenzied. Frenzy adds +2 to his normal 3A. His last 2 Die must beat 50 to hit you.

>Roll me three separate 1d100+10

>>2405645
Damnit I called it before I saw this. Fuck me sideways.

>>2405650
Do we just roll and move along or do you want to change the prompt?

Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>2405657
I mean if you guys want me to change the prompt I will. I try to work with my players as much as possible.

Rolled 99 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>2405649

stick to attack our roll is good

>>2405659
>>2405660
You know let's just keep going.

Rolled 98 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>2405649

>>2405659
>>2405660
>>2405665
Nah we cool

>>2405665
Oh my lord

Rolled 18, 76 = 94 (2d100)

Hit results

17<56. Magnus hits
29<109. Magnus hits. +10 damage
49<108. Magnus hits. +10 damage
26<50. Aster misses
71>50. Aster hits

Give me 3 rolls of 3d100+10. Rolling for Asters damage.

Rolled 28, 12, 21 = 61 (3d100)

>>2405677

>>2405677

Rolled 18, 78, 80 + 10 = 186 (3d100 + 10)

>>2405677
Oops

Rolled 28, 96, 80 + 10 = 214 (3d100 + 10)

>>2405677

>>2405688
Even If aster still has 65 armor he gets 276 damage. Poor dumb bastard

>Damage results

Magnus
>200hp 70armor
>94-70=24 damage
>200-24=176HP. Magnus is bloodied.

Aster
>150hp 55armor
>61-55=6 damage
>196-55=141 damage
>224-55=169 damage
>6+141+169=316 Damage (wew I need to throw harder foes at you soon)
>150-316=-166hp. Aster is DEAD.

>How shall we send him to meet the moon goddess?

>>2405718
Cleave him in twain.

>>2405718
Slam him with our shield so hard he sees stars.(first attack)

Impale him on our spear (attack two)

Hoist him up on our spear and hold him above us while he still lives (third attack)

As the light fades from his eyes ask him if it was good for him too then laugh.

>>2405719
This. We sliced one up the back. Slice this one up the front. Like butterflied moon chops

>Chop Chop

>Writing

You bare your teeth and charge at the frenzied warden, the mans defenses forgone in favor of the chance to rend your flesh. His halberd comes around in a sweeping arc and your blade meets it, the steel ringing like a bell as you punch out with your shield, whirling and bringing your blade across your body. The tip catches in flesh, carving through the joint of his plate like a razor. His snarl of pain is music to your ears as you turn to face him again.
"Filthy heretic bastard!"
He snarls, blood oozing slowly from the frostbitten flesh of his upper arm.

Your smile resembles that of a feral wolf as you flick rapidly freezing blood from the tip of your blade and lunge forward
"Not too filthy for that whore you call a goddess"
You laugh, bringing your blade around.

He snarls like a feral animal as he rreturns the swing, his eyes nearly popping from his skull
"SIIIIIILEEEENCE"

Your blade slams into his Halberd, gouging a chunk from the finely wrought steel and knocking it back, his eyes somehow widen even further as your blade loops around again. A hiss of pain emerges from between his lips as the tip of your spear carves through the armor of his chest, scoring deep into the bone, severing muscle and eventually, his right arm at the elbow.

He stares down at the glistening stump for a moment before howling defiant rage, lunging forward with his Halberd and driving the spearhead at its tip deep into your hip. You roar in rage, cleaving through the Halberd shaft with your spear. Driving the man back with a swipe of your shield, the frozen blade comes back down in a savage slash that passes through the Warden from skull to groin without slowing down. Armor, skin, bone, viscera, all split down to the spine and fall open as he topples backward, split open like a cleaned fish.

You plant your boot on the mans ruined corpse and pull the six inch spike of steel from the flesh of your hip with a since and a curse, flinging it down and spitting on his body.
"There. You just got fucked hard. Was it good for you too?"

Blood seeps unhappily down your hip and leggings, trickling down to your boots. Looking around you note that your companions have mercilessly butchered the initiates without any serious injury besides Balon taking a dagger to the forearm. He binds it with the torn cloak of one of the slain initiates and kicks the mans corpse angrily. Urhost approaches you, his axe smeared with a fresh coat of gore and swears appreciatively at the ruin of the two Wardens.
"Lets go in an' say hello to the others shall we?"

>Kick in the door

>Come out and plaaaayyy

>Other

>>2405813
>Kick in the door
"I came here to fuck bitches!"

>>2405813
>Kick in the door
Weren't we dual wielding our spear and hammer?

>>2405813
>>Kick in the door
This is where QM disappeared in the first quest.

The door to the ruin (little more than rough hewn planks nailed together) shatters like matchstick under your boot as you put your considerable might into kicking it in. Striding confidently into the cairn, the gloomy interior lit only by torches and the cracks in the rounded stone ceiling, you plant your spear on the dirt strewn floor and roll your shoulders.
"Good Afternoon"
You call out to the hooded figure and their remaining pair of bodyguards.

Seeker Rethal turns from where he was inspecting a ancient, rune covered helm, a layer of frost crawling across its surface, spreading from thin, pale fingers. The hood and cloak obscure his face and form, only a pair of pale glowing eyes visible within the unnatural gloom.
"Heretic"
The flat, emotionless voice rings across the Cairn, pulling warmth from the air and from your bones.

"Dispose of them"
The pale, slim fingers clench and the helm shatters like a eggshell. Waving idly in your direction the Seeker turns toward the large stone sarcophagus in the far wall. The intent is clear as the pair of Wardens step forward, Halberds held at the ready.
"You go no farther Heretic"
"The Silver Lady decrees your deaths"

>Take on the Bodyguards

>Focus on the Seeker

>Other

>>2405849
take the boss

>>2405849
>Focus on the Seeker
>gesture to your shield "The silver lady has been my most eager whore."

>>2405907
Thispls

>>2405907
>>2405913
be nice to moon babe!

>>2405932
Lolwut no

>>2405849
>Focus on the seeker

>>2405932
Lets make our god proud

Kill the all

>>2405849
>Bodyguards
"Your friends outside said the same thing. Your Silver Lady was too busy on Vall's cock to back them up."

>>2405849

>Take on the Bodyguards
Wen shoots at the seeker
Or we can thow the axes at him and then fight thr bodyguards

>>2405456
I mean, he probably heard this whole conversation and he sounds like the kind of guy who would be like "Huh, guess that sounds fun"
So if he wasn't already doing it, I would bet on him doing it now.

>>2406078
Shit i change to Focus on the seeker
Becouse his breaking all the loot the cunt

>>2406095
>>2405849
>Throw an axe in seekers back, then engage the others.
"Dont run now, you are up next"

>>2405849

> Focus on the Seeker

>Engage the seeker

You look to your sides and nod to your companions, gesturing towards the pair of stalwart bodyguards.
"Take care of those two for me would you?"

Urhost grins savagely and nods, clenching his grip on his axe
"Aye. Think I can do that. Arvel, Falhim, Balon, you take that cunt. Lionel, you're with me"

Your companions split up and advance, smashing into the pair of Bodyguards like hammers and forcing them to part, giving you free pass through their center to where the Seeker approaches the rune line sarcophagus.

"In all things, The Lady of The Moon watches. She has counted the sins of Trulas 'Storm-Blade' and named him Heretic and Apostate even in death. And so shall his memory be wiped clean"
His flat, echoing voice rings unnaturally off of the walls of the cairn as each footstep leaves a steaming, icy print on the stone. The ornate, silver staff in his hand crawls with frost as he slams it into the ground, shattering a pressure plate. Rusted spikes dart upward but rust and dissolve away into nothingness as the Seeker simply steps through them.

"Heresy against the Lady cannot be abided. Be gone now.. And forever"
He calmly lays a single finger upon the tomb, crystals of ice spreading across the surface from that malignant contact. The runes of sealing and protection flare brightly, golden and crimson light battling against silver and darkness. But the Runes are beyond ancient and the power assaulting them is strong. One by one, the sigils blink out, consumed by frost.

>Throwing axe to the back

>Insert spear into anus

>Shield bash

>FoS?

>Other

>>2406582
>>Insert spear into anus

>>2406612
"Vall send`s his regards

>>2406582
>Insert spear into anus
Our spear will have the best chance against the frost magic

Rolled 64 + 25 (1d100 + 25)

>Spear to the rear
>Roll me 1d100+10

Rolled 24 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>2406631

Rolled 94 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>2406631

Rolled 18 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>2406631

Rolled 31 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>2406631
Guse we losong this spear

>>2406693

Fuck yeah

>104>89

You charge forward, unwilling to let the Seeker destroy the resting place of this ancient hero. You run forward, through bone chilling cold and shadows that crawl along the ground like snakes before bringing your spear back and driving it forward toward the small of the Seekers back, seeking to impale the fanatic.

You grit your teeth as the blade impacts *something* inches from the Seekers back, bringing you to a jarring halt. Its like trying to drive it through solid stone. The Seeker doesn't even deign to turn and face you, simply focusing on consuming the power within the sarcophagus. You bare your teeth in a snarl and push forward with all of your might and the barrier gives, the tip of your spear finding purchase in flesh.
"YOU DARE?!?!"
shrieks the Seeker, whirling around and lashing out with his staff. Stars blossom behind your eyes as you fly backward, your ears ringing and mouth filling with the salty tang of blood. Rethal brings a hand behind his back and grunts, inspecting the blood dripping from his spiderlike fingers.
"You must pay for this insult Heretic. You must pay body and soul"

You stand, shaking your head and adjusting your helm, bringing your blade up into a defensive stance
"Come get it then"

>Magnus
>174hp 70armor

>has engaged

>Seeker Rethal
>395HP
>Inhuman strength- +10 to damage and feats of strength
>Shield of Winter-Successful defense rolls deal 1d100 ice damage
>Deceptively Fast- -10 to hit chance.
>Ash Bearer-Posseses a vial of Ash. Be careful

>Attack

>Defend

>Ruinous slash

>Throwing axe

>Fight dirty

>FoS

>Other

>>2407235
>Other

Roll to get the bastards attention and dodge around him and place yourself between the coffin and Rethal. Then try to open the coffin. Let's hope ol stormblade left his name sake in his final resting place.

Gonna need some magical assitance to help with this magi.

>>2407235
>>Ruinous slash

>>2407235

> Fight dirty

Okay, this is bad, and he is a badass, but this Priest doesn't have any armor, and our weapon is superior so I think we have a shot at this. My plan is to fling a throwing axe at his face, and when he moves to block we dodge to the side and hamstring him with our battlespear.

>>2407327
Cmon anon be real

We're going to humiliate him with how easy we win

>>2407348
>Anon claims battle will be easy
>we attack but whiff with all our attacks
>the priests winter shield kills us because he basically gets free attacks off when we miss

Just keep jinxing us anon just you wait and see.

>>2407327
This
>Throw axe so his guards shift to the axe, then impale the fucker

>>2407235
This shield could be bad news. We need to find another advantage. Would throwing axes still trigger the ice damage?

>>2407348

> 395 HP
> dishes out heavy damage when we miss, has a bonus to dodging our attacks, and does extra damage himself

Anon, hubris is the death of kings, and we're nowhere near monarchy.

>>2407368
We get 3 rolls to his one, and we have higher bonuses. Whiff chances are very low.

>>2407384
No, you have to be in melee range. Defense almost doesn't apply to axes as they either have to dodge or try to block it.

>>2407387
Actually he has 3A and 3D so he is almost on your tier. Hes just unarmored and has a big hp pool

>>2407397
Whoops dropped my name

>>2407327
>Weapon is superior

>Looks at notes.
>Topkek.

>>2407404
uhoh

>>2407235
>FoS
Get him in a bear hug into a suplex; he's fast and strong... but not as strong as us. Let's grapple his ass

>>2407404

Aw feck. At least if we survive, it'll be a COOL story. Get it?

>>2407394
>throw axes
We need to soften this guy up before we get our shit pushed in

>>2407404
Is there a powerful lightning sword type weapon inside Trulas Stormblades coffin? My choice was based on the assumption there was, and hypothetically if there was such a weapon inside would trulas let us inside to use it since you know this icy cunt is just gonna destroy everything like a douchebag.

>>2407423

Maybe, but to get to it, we'd have to open the centuries-old sealed tomb while the Priest is slaughtering us, for a hypothetical slight advantage he might be able to resist entirely.

>>2407427
That's why I'm asking QM. To see if he'll throw us a bone and maybe give us decisive answer. If not then I'll switch my vote to something else.

>>2407235
>Fight dirty
Guse we just gota kep his attion from the loot
And point out we alredy kill one of his soft boy fuckers with the sheild
Mybe talk about how we going to engave vaill fucking thr goddess on it next

Also his stick will make a good back sracter

They talk alot for people not doing anything

>>2407442
Also can we not try to ice his ice
Our blade dose ice damg, his alabout ice ice baby
So idk use fire sticks on him?

>>2407442
>>2407447
Who brought fire sticks? Can we order them from Amazon? Same-day delivery?

>>2407423
There is a weapon in there. It may or may not be a powerful lightning infused sword that was the namesake of its wielder. But the Sarcophagus is sealed for the moment and you don't really have time to pry it open. However if you could get a very strong person to hit it really hard...

Rolled 25 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>Throwing axes + Shit talking + Sneaky hit seems to win.
>Roll me 1d100 for your Axe throw. Beat his dodge. Bo3
>Also what say. Feel free to get creative.

Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>2407554
"The next words of out of your mouth will be ow my face!"

Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>2407554

Rolled 7 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>2407554
"you need a dripping axe wound like your whore Nyx"
too vulgar?

>>2407567
Insult to his god and his manhood. Implicit threat of castrating him.

Nope sounds good.

>>2407554
>Is your whore of a goddess so eager for prick that she's turned to molesting corpses now?

>>2407599
I like this

>83>35. Magnus hits.
>Roll me one 2d100 for damage. First come first serve.

>>2407442
Or maybe us instead of Vall. All this glorification of some other dude is pretty gay.

Rolled 76, 39 = 115 (2d100)

>>2407687

>Damage Results

Seeker Rethal
>395hp 0 Armor
>395-115=280hp

>Writing

>>2407698
Na na your gay thinking its gay
But also couse it might be happening and it pisses them off to no end

>>2407773
If you are going to shitpost at least do it in English that people can understand. Spell check broski.

You drive your spear into the ground and dip your hand to your belt, the rounded, solid grip of one of the axes filling your hand reassuringly. You spit blood onto the ground and glare at the stationary Seeker with such vitriol and contempt you're surprised he doesn't burst into flames.
"Is your whore of a goddess so desperate for prick that shes taken to molesting corpses now?"

The Seeker inhaled, his silver eyes gleaming in the darkness of the hood.
"What? What. Did. You. SAY?!"
His shriek of indignant fury resonates from the walls of the cairn, dust drifting downward from the roof.

You flip the hatchet in your hand and grin viciously.
"Im gonna give you a nice dripping cunt with this. Just like that silvery slut you bow down t-WHOA"
"SILENCE BLASPHEMER"
You duck as the solid metal of the Seekers staff suddenly comes straight for your head, thrown like a javelin. The Seekers howl of fury rises in pitch and volume as his throw misses, the staff burying into the stone behind you.

While his throw missed by a hairsbreadth, yours flies true, the hatchet whirling through the air and burying deeply into the Seekers shoulder. The hooded figure snarls in rage, ripping the throwing axe free and slinging it down, the blade biting deep into the stone and glistening with blood and ice crystals.
"You dare wound me again? YOU WILL PAY!"
A humming behind you prompts you to duck and you barely move in time as the staff shoots back into the Seekers hand, the metal steaming with freezing mist.

You pull your spear from the ground, spinning it around in your grip as you and the Seeker circle each other, a nimbus of ice crystals growing around the ornate head of the staff.

>Attack

>Ruinous slash

>Defend

>Throwing Axe

>FoS

>Fight Sorry

>other

>>2407899
Oh wow like mybe 2 things wornt perfect and not like it matters you largly pronounce then the same way.
Like you understood what i said way dose it matter that much to you?
Like you couldn't come back with something better then your spelling and grammer wasnt perfect?
Like i get it when my soelling is way off but this is just pointless pointing.

>>2407946
>Defend

>>2407946
>FoS
charge him as hard as possible with our shield and crush him against the wall of the carin

>>2407977
+1

>>2407977
Let's try this. Can't let him use that staff for anything else

>>2407977

Noice.

>>2407946
this>>2407977

>>2407977
>>2407946
also add
>you're even easier to nail than your goddess, and she's practical drowning in Vall's seed

Rolled 44 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>Feat of strength: Shield Bash
>Roll me 1d100+20. Beat his resist roll. Best of 3

Rolled 28 + 20 (1d100 + 20)

>>2408263

Rolled 78 + 20 (1d100 + 20)

>>2408263

>>2408269
you're saving our bacon this thread

Rolled 17 + 20 (1d100 + 20)

>>2408148

Damn, Magnus, bringing the beats.

>>2408263

> *flashbacks to playing skyrim for the first time*

>>2408292
I was wondering if i was the only one imagining the seeker as wearing a dragon priest mask

>98>54

>Roll me one 3d100 for your feat of strength damage.