you passed the Haki check woooo

(Observation Haki +1! DC decreased to 53)

First up, you flick your Haki on, spreading your awareness out. There’s an infantryman passing by, probably on patrol, but as long as you keep the volume low - even with the door open - it should be fine.

You keep staring at Smoboss’ closed-eyed face as he waits for the full effect of your current stupidity to slam down on him. “Devil Fruits really do taste like shit...” you say, your voice full of Mourning and Regret and Oh Seasus My Mouth.

You feel Smoboss flinch and then tense under your hug (he’s not thrown you off yet, you’re gonna absorb every second of this), watch his face twitch, eyes slowly opening to narrow bands of what-the-fuckery glaring. Your Haki is quick to inform you of the building frustration-resignation-urge-to-throttle-you that you’ve come to associate with Smoboss finding out you’ve pulled yet more dumbass shit. If you’re going to be sentenced to three-hundred years of latrine duty, you’re going to make it worth it.

“Brat.” A warning tone. You respond with the appropriate lack of self-preservation by widening your red-rimmed, shining eyes and looking as pathetic and innocent as possible.

Mustn’t laugh. Don’t laugh. Don’t.

“Yes, Smoboss?”

“Tell me you’re messing with me.”

>I’m messing with you. ...... By having eaten that Fruit.
>No, I’m Flashman, Smoboss.
>I could pretend I didn’t eat it, if you like? I just thought you’d wanna know.
>Other?

>>3557794
>In my defense, Smoboss, it wasn't voluntary.

>>3557794
>>Leap Back and pose!
>>Sparkle like the fire hazard you were always meant to be

>>3557794
>>No, I’m Flashman, Smoboss.

>>3557794
>it's a lightning logia, too
>In my defense, Smoboss, it wasn't voluntary.

>>3557794
>Sparkle.

>>3557794
>"As stupid as it sounds it happened by accident, but even then I would probably eat it"

>>3557794
Supporting >>3557804
Flashman is just bullshit enough that Smoboss might just shrug off how Flashy ate the fruit with "Oh, of course."

>>3557794
>Other?
>Would you believe if I told you it was an accident?

>>3557794
>In my defense, Smoboss, it wasn't voluntary.
>It fell in my mouth while I was falling through a jungle.
>Trees aren't soft, by the way. Important info that nobody bothered to share with me.

>>3557794
>it's a lightning logia, too
>In my defense, Smoboss, it wasn't voluntary.

Don't forget, next we have to tell him that the only real defense against our logia is armament haki, and why exactly it is that we know this fact

>>3557794
>>I’m messing with you. ...... By having eaten that Fruit.

Rolled 35 (1d100)

>i had to add the second part, it was very important

“In my defense, Smoboss, it wasn’t voluntary.” It was the trees’ fault. Treacherous vegetation. Why isn’t there a public awareness camapaign about the buggers? “Trees aren’t soft, by the way. Important info that nobody bothered to share with me.”

Smoboss’ emotions flicker to confusion at that, before he apparently dismisses it as typical Flashy weirdness, “You ate a Devil Fruit. By acci- you know what? I can believe that of you. I don’t why I was surprised.”

He sighs, deep and long, reaching a hand up to rub the bridge of his nose. “Congratulations, idiot. What one is it?”

>Lightning Logia.
>It’s, uh, a Static Paramecia. Definitely not a Lightning Logia. Because that would get me transferred. Wink wink.
>... Before I tell you, how’s your heart?
>Other?

Rollin’ for Klaus. Also really need to check who won the vote for companions, last thread. Think the second one was Hat and Sunglasses, who I should maybe count as one set? Not sure.

Or rubber, sanji could have soloed Enel with luck

>>3557831
>Lightning Logia.

"I stole it from god"

>>3557831
>>Lightning Logia.
>>But I was thinking I could pretend it was a static paramecia

>>3557835
supporting

>>3557835
supporting

>>3557831
>>It’s, uh, a Static Paramecia. Definitely not a Lightning Logia. Because that would get me transferred. Wink wink.

>>3557831
>It’s, uh, a Static Paramecia. Definitely not a Lightning Logia. Because that would get me transferred. Wink wink.

>>3557831
>Lightning Logia.
"Having insubstantial limbs is a weird feeling."

>>3557831
>>It’s, uh, a Static Paramecia. Definitely not a Lightning Logia. Because that would get me transferred. Wink wink.

>>3557831
>It’s, uh, a Static Paramecia. Definitely not a Lightning Logia. Because that would get me transferred. Wink wink.

>>3557831
>>It’s, uh, a Static Paramecia. Definitely not a Lightning Logia. Because that would get me transferred. Wink wink.

>>3557835
This. So much this.

>>3557831
>Lightning Logia.

>>3557831
>It’s, uh, a Static Paramecia. Definitely not a Lightning Logia. Because that would get me transferred. Wink wink.

>>3557831
>Is, uh, a Static Paramecia. Definitely not a Lightning Logia I got from killing the previous owner. Because that would get me transferred. Wink wink.

7-7 between Lightning and Static. Any more votes? Otherwise I’ll roll.

Can we add Armament to our revelation? I think Smoker is alredy so saturated with our bullshit that armament will seem like a minor "problem".

>>3557861
i'll switch to static

>static

just to be clear it is very clear to smoboss that we do have a lightining Logia and we are telling him we gonna pretend its a static paramecia right?

>>3557866
...Yes

>>3557866
That's what I got out of the static choice.

>>3557831
>Is, uh, a Static Paramecia. Definitely not a Lightning Logia I got from killing the previous owner. Because that would get me transferred. Wink wink.

>>3557831
>>It’s, uh, a Static Paramecia. Definitely not a Lightning Logia. Because that would get me transferred. Wink wink.

Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>3557862
A’s long as votes pull for it, yes. To be honest, you can’t actually do it at will, so I don’t know if you want to wait until you can casually activate it in front of him.

>>3557866
Yup.

>yer a logia harry

Ahahahahahaha. Um. “It’s, uh, a Static Paramecia. Definitely not a Lightning Logia. Because that would get me transferred. Wink wink.”

Smoboss stares at you through half-lidded eyes, expression blank. His emotions feel oddly calm.

“So it’s definitely not one of the Invincible Powers,” he flatly states.

“Absolutely definitely positively a big N-O on that one, Smobosserino. Highly lacking in Logia-having-ness here. Ha! Me! A Lightning dude!” You snort, rolling your eyes in utterly convincing disbelief. “That would be... shocking.”

Smoboss covers part of his face with one hand. Then the other disappears from your back to cover the rest. Despite that, his groan is resoundingly clear.

“... We getting up now, bossman?”

“You can. I’m staying down here a while.”

You untangle your arms from his jacket and clamber up, hoping it’ll dry quickly. Better wipe the last tears from your eyes too, just in case. “Sooooo. Uh.”

“You have a Static Paramecia,” Smoboss interrupts, voice slightly muffled by the hands. “Just... don’t tell anyone otherwise. I’ll sort out some kind of training for you, separate from Mina and Yosaku.”

You tilt your head, confused. “Who’s Yosaku?”

The hands move, eyes glaring up at you. “Go away.”

>Gotcha, I’ll go write up my report, you can kill me after you read it all.
>Actually... (was there more you wanted to say?)
>Congrats on trashing Mocktown, by the way! Except for the bars, they were pretty cool.
>Other?

>>3557876
>Actually I Also Got armanemt haki

>>3557876
>Actually... (was there more you wanted to say?)
>i... definitely didn't activate armament haki in my fight against god. that's not something i did.

>>3557876
>>Gotcha, I’ll go write up my report, you can kill me after you read it all.
>>Congrats on trashing Mocktown, by the way! Except for the bars, they were pretty cool.

>>3557876
>>Gotcha, I’ll go write up my report, you can kill me after you read it all.
>Oh yeah, I can do Armament sometimes, see yeah later Smoboss

>>3557876
>Gotcha, I’ll go write up my report, you can kill me after you read it all.

>>3557876
>>Gotcha, I’ll go write up my report, you can kill me after you read it all.

>>Gotcha, I’ll go write up my report, you can kill me after you read it all.
>Oh yeah, I can do Armament sometimes, see yeah later Smoboss

>>3557876
>Where's Klaus?

Four out of seven votes to mention Armament, anyone else want to mention it/keep it quiet?

(Heli-parent Quest probably tomorrow or Saturday, by the way. I’ll judge participation and speed before deciding how fast/often it’ll be.)

>>3557902
I'm good with mentioning it

Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>3557901
he died

>there was going to be a sappy bonding moment originally, but you drove him crazy and now papasmo needs to be alone and get drunk

You click your tongue and fingergun at him, beaming wide. “Gotcha, I’ll go write up my report, you can kill me after you read it all. Oh yeah, and I can do Armament sometimes, see ya later, Smoboss.”

You swagger at high speed out the door, feeling a spike of bewilderment-realization-horror-fury behind you, and close it behind you.

Aaaaaahhh.

It’s good to be home, you think, stretching happily and waving at the infantry who salute you.

>Maybe you should take the messed-up jacket off and put on a uniform now...
>Find Klaus. Before he finds you...
>Find someone else! (Who?)
>You should probably write your report...
>Other?

>>3557920
>>Find Klaus. Before he finds you...
Time to face the music

>>3557920
>Maybe you should take the messed-up jacket off and put on a uniform now.

>>3557920
>Maybe you should take the messed-up jacket off and put on a uniform now...

>>3557920
Kek poor smoboss
>Maybe you should take the messed-up jacket off and put on a uniform now...

Then

>Find Klaus. Before he finds you...

>>3557926
support

>>3557920
>Maybe you should take the messed-up jacket off and put on a uniform now...

>>3557920
>>Maybe you should take the messed-up jacket off and put on a uniform now...
>>Find Klaus. Before he finds you...

>>3557920
>Maybe you should take the messed-up jacket off and put on a uniform now...
Get those mugshots out there!

>92 - he’d have found you anyway, damn Observation man...

Hm. You should find Klaus and convince him not to kill you. BUT. You should also change out of this jacket.

You sulk down at it as you head over to your cabin, greeting several infantry on the way. The problem with flinging yourself at your commanding officer isn’t that they can’t actually see what you’re wearing when you’re hugging them, which rather ruins the effect of a torn, charred, blood-stained jacket. Booooo.

Your cabin is just as you left it, so you dress quickly - maybe you should get a new uniform soon, with the promotion; even wear your coat over your shoulders! Exciting! - when you suddenly sense it.

Sense HIM.

“Oh fuck,” you whisper, hands stilling on your clean shirt buttons, as the door-handle slowly, sloooowly turns.

“Welcome baaaaack, prettyboy~” the hellspawn coos, as the door creaks open.

>(fall to your knees) I WAS JUST GOING TO COME TO SEE YOU PLEASE DON’T MURDER ME I’M SORRY
>(tackle-hug him too, he’ll never expect it!)
>(try and slam the door closed, DON’T LET HIM IN)
>Other?

>>3557942
>>(tackle-hug him too, he’ll never expect it!)

>>3557942
>(tackle-hug him too, he’ll never expect it!)
desperate measures!

>>(tackle-hug him too, he’ll never expect it!)

>>3557942
>>(tackle-hug him too, he’ll never expect it!)
Hobo-dad deserves love too.

>>3557954
He’ll never admit to liking it though.

Yell anything while tackle-hugging?
>Yes (What?)
>No, just throw yourself at him like a dog whose owner has come home from a war

>>3557942
>(tackle-hug him too, he’ll never expect it!)

>>3557942
>(tackle-hug him too, he’ll never expect it!)
Eh, he was on our mind on and off during our time away, we kind of missed him in a weird 'I should have been training right about now' way.
Also, we know widened slashes and a tiny bit of Armament now, that has to count for something, right?

>>3557958
>>No, just throw yourself at him like a dog whose owner has come home from a war

>Yes (What?)
>Cry and blubber about how much you missed him and how nice it is hes not going to kill you for missing class, since you did stab a God through the heart and that has to count for something.

>>3557958
>Yes (What?)

Desperately tell him of our sword achievements, Rival get, armament maybe kinda, we killed god, OH PLEASE KLAUS WE WERE A GOODPUPILDON'TMURDERUSHARASHSJHGJAJHGGHSHDGHS

>>3557958
>Yes (What?)
>*in tearful voice*
>Klaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaus!!~
Glomp hobo-dad

>>3557958
>>3557969
+1

>>3557958
>>Yes (What?)
>>I GOT A RIVAL IT WAS TERRIBLE

>>3557958
>>3557969
this

>SWORDPAPA I WUZ GOOD BOI

Fortunately, you have the perfect plan for this! Klaus wants to ton inflict terror on you - to render you unable to come up with a defense. This is useless in the face of your cunning mind and brilliant sucking-up skills.

FACE THE WRATHLESS SYMPATHY-INDUCING TACKLE-HUG, KLAUS!!

The second the door is open far enough to reveal a grinning, leering Klaus in all his lack of glory, you’re on him. Outstretched arms, aimed with the beauty of Observation Haki, disregard his sudden flinch back and swing around his neck, your own body thudding into his, while his face and emotions scream of panicked confusion.

“KLAAAAAAUUUUUSSSS~!!” You try to fill your voice as well as your emotions with the sheer sense of missing him, just in case he tries aobservation on you - it isn’t all that hard, you DID miss him, even if he’s gonna murder you. “I MISSED YOU AND OUR LESSONS BUT I GOT BETTER ANYWAY AND I GOT A RIVAL AND I STABBED A GOD TO DEATH AND I THINK I CAN CAN MAYBE DO FLYING SLASHES NOW AND I’M SORRY I WASN’T HERE PLEASE DON’T KILL ME—“

“Ngh??????” You didn’t think it was possible to make question marks so obvious, but Klaus manages it. You’re kind of impressed, or would be if you had time to do anything more than cling to him and try to make him not want to stab you.

“I - uh.” You feel more than see Klaus attempt to touch you, then pull his arms back, as if confused as to what he’s meant to do with them. As long as they’re not holding something stabby, you’re fine with it. ... Although a hug would be nice.

You turn sad puppy eyes up at him, and he stares down to meet them in visible horror. “This... wasn’t what I had planned. At all. Rival? Stabbed a god? What?” Then he frowns, hands moving to grip either side of your collar. “Wait, you figured out flying slashes?”

>Well, the theory? I haven’t tried them yet.
>Sort of, yeah? Lolonoa showed me.
>Are you gonna kill me?
>Other?

>>3557996
>>Sort of, yeah? Lolonoa showed me.

>Sort of, yeah? Lolonoa showed me.
>I still gotta practice them though, lots of people up there could fly so i ended up using Pistol-chan and my cannon balls for often than Cut-chan or Kat-tan, I hope they don't feel neglected...

>>3557996
>Sort of, yeah? Lolonoa showed me.

>And doctor told me I can't train for like to two days!

>>3557996
>Not really flying slashes, more like widening and deepening the cut, but I think it should be about the same technique, just more advanced, right?
>Lolonoa showed me while drunk.

>>3557996
>Sort of. I can widen my cuts, and i understand the idea behind a flying slash but haven't actually tried it yet.

>>3558012
Support
Klaus isn't allowed to make Dr Cutie sad either!

I wonder if flashy gets good enough at armament and widening/flying slashes, could he cut something with his will alone?

Like, stare at a piece of paper and simply WILL it to be cut through the sheer force of his haki?
I mean, if conquerors can shatter wood and send people flying...

>>3558037
That's basically what advanced armament haki is.

>>3558043
Then there is the potential for some serious badassery in the future.

>yes i am mihawk now

“Sort of, yeah? Lolonoa showed me. And I can do a, uh, cut-deepening... thing... too? Also a doctor told me I can’t train for two days. Just so you know.”

Klaus raises an eyebrow at you, expression pointed. “It’s kind of like you’re listing your accomplishments and reasons why I can’t train you until you pass out.”

“I would never!”

He tugs you up slightly by the collar, smirk reappearing, but at least he only shakes you gently. That’s good, right? Right? “Prettyboy... in two days, you’d better be ready.”

“... To die?”

“Pretty much!” He lets go, smirk widening, and pats your head condescendingly instead. “Now get off me.”

You yank your arms back before he can chop them off, stumbling backwards a step, into your cabin. “I really did improve!”

“I believe you. That’s why I’m not ignoring doctor’s orders and kicking your ass already. So - Roronoa can do flying slashes, huh?”

“Yeah. I saw it.” YOU’RE SAFE. For now...

Klaus huffs, sounding put out. “Typical. Fucking pirate. All right, prettyboy, once your chest is healed - ribs? - I’m gonna speed up your lessons. Your dumb ass managed to jump ahead a step while you were gone.”

>Oh, yeah, I activated Armament too. Can’t control it, though.
>(Get him in your cabin so you can tell him about eating a Logia)
>Just so you know, Lolonoa’s declared me his rival. Is that a big deal? That gives me eternal dibs on him, right?
>Other?

>>3558037
You’ll need to be basically as good at Armament as Katakuri is at Observation, so that’s a long way off. But yes, theoretically.

>>3558047
>Just so you know, Lolonoa’s declared me his rival. Is that a big deal? That gives me eternal dibs on him, right?

>>3558047
>>Oh, yeah, I activated Armament too. Can’t control it, though.
>>Just so you know, Lolonoa’s declared me his rival. Is that a big deal? That gives me eternal dibs on him, right?

>>3558047
>Oh, yeah, I activated Armament too. Can’t control it, though.
>Yet

>>3558047
>>Oh, yeah, I activated Armament too. Can’t control it, though.

>that feel when might have job soon

Holy shit, maybe I’ll delay heli-parent quest.

>>3558071
Hell yeah, OP won't starve!

Oh no, OP probably won't be able to run everyday anymore!

HELL YEAH OP WON'T STARVE

>>3558071
YEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!

CONGRATS OP!

>>3558071
Nice! Good to hear you didn't get ghosted again.

>>3558077
After all my promised jobs and pointless interviews I’m trying not to get my hopes up, but aaaaaaaaaaaaaa

If I manage to get it, sessions obviously won’t be as long, but as a filthy phoneposter, it should probably still be every day. Probably in the evening unless I get night-shift.

>>3558083
I actually did on this one, I thought fuck it and re-applied. Hope this is my nat100.

Any more votes? Otherwise I’ll write in a few minutes.

>it’s a good thing you don’t know about your conquerors yet

Before you forget... “Oh, yeah, I activated Armament too. Can’t control it though.”

Klaus’ expression flickers befor he scowls at you. “Don’t think Armament training means you can slack off on the rest.”

“Never though it for a second,” you promise. “Mainly because I’m fairly certain you’d turn me into a puddle of blood and shredded flesh, oh beloved and merciful teacher who I would never dream of disappointing.”

Klaus folds his arms. And rolls his eyes. And looks generally annoyed. “I’ll hurry up with finding you a tutor. Don’t tell anyone-“

“Except Smoboss or I’ll get transferred, yeah, yeah. Had fun kicking Hat and Sunglasses’ asses while I was gone?”

“Oh, plenty. Tashigi and flouncy-boy, too -“ ... That’s Fop, right? “- although Tashigi’s a little too injured for lessons right now, as well.”

You recoil slightly, pulse speeding. “What?! Is she okay?!”

“Yeah, dumbass, I didn’t say she was crippled.” Another eye-roll. “Ah, my disciple is too stupid, alas and alack, an’ all that. She’ll be fine in a few days... much like you. Except less of a pain in my ass.” He jabs a finger at you. “Stop having breakthroughs when I’m not around. It’s annoying.”

>Sorry, I’ll schedule them better. No more eating Logia Fruits when you’re not here.
>I really did miss everyone, just so you know.
>Hey, wanna see my kid’s pictures?
>Other?

>>3558120
>Hey, wanna see my kid’s pictures?

>>3558120
>what happened to tashigi? i'm surprised someone out here could beat her that badly...

>>3558120
>Hey, wanna see my kid’s pictures?

>>3558120
>>Hey, wanna see my kid’s pictures?
Did Flash mention he was in one of those year inside hour outside things.

>>3558120
>>I really did miss everyone, just so you know.
Should probably say something about the devil fruit too, just so we don't get more training involving hanging off the ship.

>>3558134
No, but feel free to vote for it.

You’re a hundred years oooooooold

>>3558120
>Sorry, I’ll schedule them better. No more eating Logia Fruits when you’re not here.
>I really did miss everyone, just so you know.
>Hey, wanna see my kid’s pictures?
Say it without letting Klaus speak or process the Logia part (and make sure no one hears you)

>>3558120
>>3558154
+1 He's gonna be pissed if we don't tell him about the logia.

>>3558154
>>3558120
Support

>>3558154
support

>Sorry, I’ll schedule them better. No more eating Logia Fruits when you’re not here.
>I really did miss everyone, just so you know.
>Hey, wanna see my kid’s pictures?
Say it without letting Klaus speak or process the Logia part (and make sure no one hears you)

>>3558154
Support

>>3558120
>>3558154
Supporting

>sorry, got distracted feeding ducks and geese. also DUCKLINGS

You shrug apologetically, internally turning TROLL up to MAXIMUM. "Sorry, I’ll schedule them better. No more eating Logia Fruits when you’re not here. And I really did miss everyone, just so you know." Then while Klaus' eyes widen, you beam happily, holding up your camera. "Hey, wanna see my kid’s pictures? I got a load of 'em!"

The ensuing panic is a thing of beauty. "Wha-WHAT?! You can't-!" He lunges forwards, face pale with shock, shoving you further back into the cabin as he kicks the door closed behind you. "You have WHAT?!"

>A Logia...?
>A kid...?
>Photos...?
>(take a picture of him freaking out)
>Other?

>>3558154
Support

>>3558206
>A Logia...?
Let's not troll him TOO hard.

>>3558206
>Photos...?
>(take a picture of him freaking out)

>>3558206
Photos. Of my snake child.

>>3558206
>A Logia...?

>>3558210
He's actually more freaked out over the kid than the Logia.

Klaus thinks you are too young for babby.

>>3558206
>>Photos...?

>>3558206
>>A kid...?

>>3558206
>A kid...?

>>3558206
>>Photos...?

>>3558216
Aaaawww, he DOES care.

>>3558227
More like he thinks you fail at condoms, but yes, he also cares. You actually gave him a reason (and a kick in the arse) to start giving a crap about things.

And you made him get a hammock.

Heading back, update laterish.

>>3558206
>(take a picture of him freaking out)
>Photos...?
>(Hand him a photo of his own freakout)

>>3558206
>(take a picture of him freaking out)

>Photos...?

>>3558206
>>Photos...?
>>(take a picture of him freaking out)
Grow stronger, Scrapbook-chan...

>>3558206
>(take a picture of him freaking out)

>>3558236
>>3558206
This is terrible, support.

>>3558236
Pft
Support

>>3558236
Support

>>3558236
Sure. This.

Photos? And take a picture are winning.

I said i Skypiea that your camera doesn't actually have the ability to print photos, but I'm in such a good mood I can retcon that if you guys want. So everyone who HASN'T already voted to hand him a picture,
>Gib pic
>No gib pic

>>3558351
Keep it to look back fondly later on.

>>3558351
>>No gib pic

>>3558351
>Gib pic
Hope things with the job go well, chief. I'll be rooting for you.

>>3558351
>>Gib pic
And then we immediately break the print function after

>>3558386
You already voted to give it to him!

>>3558360
I'm not sure if you mean get an extra copy for yourself or don't give it to him at all...

>>3558368
Thank you!

>>3558351
>>Gib pic

>>3558403
>No gib
Flashman takes photos. He doesn't give them.

>>3558351
>Gib pic

>>3558351
>>Gib pic

>I'm assuming give won

"Photos...?" Your response is as sweet as the candy you really want to eat. Except for the part where you raise the camera and take a picture of his apparent freak-out, casually pressing a couple of buttons to print it.

"That's not- WHAT ARE YOU--"

You hold up the photo of his white face and twitching eyes, smiling happily as you pass it over. He takes it instictively, twitches more, glares at you, and then slams it in your face.

"Uph-pah!" At least he's not slicing you up with the sharp edges?

"When the FUCK did you breed?!" He leans in close, pulling the photo down to glare at you, expression somewhere between furious and worried.

>I adopted. My precious Noodle. (Hold up camera and show pictures of it)
>... Did you want to be godfather? The position's still open...
>I have many babies, Klaus, but I've never bred. Except for doubt in my sanity, there's been a lot of that.
>Other?

>>3558451
>>I adopted. My precious Noodle. (Hold up camera and show pictures of it)

>>3558451
>>I adopted. My precious Noodle. (Hold up camera and show pictures of it)

>>3558451
>I adopted. My precious Noodle. (Hold up camera and show pictures of it)

>>I adopted. My precious Noodle. (Hold up camera and show pictures of it)
>> Poor darling couldn't come down from the sky with me... need to make sure i call and visit often!

>>3558451
>>I adopted. My precious Noodle. (Hold up camera and show pictures of it)

>>3558451
>I adopted. My precious Noodle. (Hold up camera and show pictures of it)

>>3558451
>I adopted. My precious Noodle. (Hold up camera and show pictures of it)

>>3558451
>I adopted. My precious Noodle. (Hold up camera and show pictures of it)

>>3558451
>I adopted. My precious Noodle. (Hold up camera and show pictures of it)

>>3558451
>>3558463
support.

>>3558473

Enough fucking with him. For now. You have a slight aversion to needling people until they snap and needle you back (with swords)."I adopted. My precious Noodle."

You hold the camera up, widescreen to him, flicking to the gallery and bringing up pictures of your precious snek child. The one you had Chopper take of you lounging on its head while it sunbathes is adorable. "See? My cutey~!"

Klaus groans, slumping down as you flick through them. "A snake. You got a pet... giant snake."

"No." Your eyes narrow. "I adopted it."

"You can't-" He pauses, reconsidering. "It has human intelligence?"

"Yep!" Not really unusual on the Grand Line, after all.

Another groan, louder this time. "I'm pretty sure you can't legally adopt non-humanoid species, prettyboy."

"You can, it's just a crapload of work," you correct, being a master of weird legalities. "Anyway, this is Noodle. I love it, and it's my baby. I had to leave it in Skypiea - well looked after! - because it's too big, but I've made sure it won't eat anyone else, so it's not too bad."

"........" says Klaus, eyes dead. "Right. Okay. Congrats."

"Do you think Smoboss would let me bring it down to the ship?"

"Highly no."

You sigh, putting the camera down. "Yeah, that's about what I figured. I'm gonna have to find a way to call up there, or at least get good enough with my Logia I can visit often."

"Yeah, shit, you mentioned -" Leaning back, Klaus gazes up at the ceiling, as if in silent prayer. "Logia. Okay. I give up. What is it?"

"Well, I'm pretending it's a Static Paramecia so I don't get reassigned, but Lightning."

Klaus doesn't look down. "Lightning. Great. That's normal. Hasn't been seen in a couple of centuries, but sure. Anything else, you overachiever?"

It's probably best to leave the Dials for now, before Klaus decides it's better to behead you. "That's all!" Being Lolonoa's rival isn't really important, is it? Except to Tashigi.

"Whoop-de-doo," he mutters, fixing you with a tired stare. "All right, prettyboy, you've had your fun. Lessons restart in two days - until then, practice your Observation, and whatever forms you can."

You toss him a salute, bouncing on your heels. "Aye-aye, noble teacher!"

"And what the hell is that thing on your back?"

"Oh, that's my heat lance. It sets things on fire."

"... I'm going now. Might stab you later. Welcome back and all that, blondie."

He turns to leave, subdued as a man can be after his brain is broken, almost drifting outside the cabin.

Totally worth it. And you didn't die! Not even a little bit!

>What now?
1 or 2 actions remaining before STUFF. Aka Law-arc kicks off.

>Find Tasis, shes hurt and we must worry
>Find Fop, time to kill the cross-dressing joke, it's gone too far

>>3558548
>Find Mina and share some Sky candy.

>>3558548
>Visit Tashigi
Sis is hurt. Also need to find out what she did with the wado ichimonji.

>>3558567
Support

>>3558548
>Find tasis and rub our zolo rivalry in her face

>Find fop, clear up genital misunderstandings before it gets way too serious and dangerous

>>3558567
+1

>>3558548
Go for a swim.

>Visit Tashigi
Time to get Zoro sword then fly back to skypia

>>3558548
The time has finally come.
>Think back to the talk with Zolo at Alabasta about everything having a soul or presence of some sort.
>Think about Merry and how little ship is clearly sapient.
>Haki-poke Cut-chan.

>>3558567
>>3558548
Support

>>3558548
>Find Tasis, shes hurt and we must worry

>Find Mina and share some Sky candy.

>>3558548
>>3558567
Supporting

Fop or Ta-sis first, guys?

>>3558600
Tasis, she hurt she gets priority, also need to tell her about our eternal dibs and find what she did with Wado Ichimonji

>>3558600
>Sis
Urge to rub eternal dibs in her face too strong

>>3558600
Sis.

>Ta-sis

The next step is clear, once you've finished restoring your (non-snake) babies to their rightful places.

Check on your dutiful subordinate, Lieutenant Junior Grade Whatever.

Heheheheheh

Ahem.

One of the infantry tells you she's recovering in her cabin, which is good - it's obviously not serious enough for a long stay in the medbay.

You head over, noticing how few crew are aboard at the moment - on patrol through the remains of Mocktown, or guard duty at the makeshift prison ashore until they can be transported, apparently - And give her door a quick knock.

"Who is it?"

>Your superior officer, underling!
>The devilishly handsome pirate, Arthur!
>Sword inspector, open up!
>Other?

>>3558623
>Your superior officer, underling!

>>3558623
>Your superior officer, underling!

>>3558623
>>Sword inspector, open up!

>>3558623
>>Your superior officer, underling!

>>3558623
>Sword inspector, open up!

>>3558623
>>Sword inspector, open up!

>>3558623
>Sword inspector, open up!

>sword inspector

>>3558623
>Sword inspector, open up!
I don't want to mess with all that much when she's still injured.

But let's drop the "Me and Zoro are rivals now, I have eternal dibs" bomb when we're leaving!

>>3558623
>Sword inspector, open up!

>>3558623
>Your superior officer, underling!

If we tell her that we are sword inspector she might actually believe it and sudden movement might open up her wounds

>hi sis

"Sword inspector, open up!"

A moment's pause. "Do you have a warrant?"

... Smartass. You fish a receipt and stub of pencil out of your pockets and scrawl 'WARRANT 4 SWORD THINGS' on the paper. "Yes! I'm coming in!"

You shove the door open, waving the receipt around. "I hear you have swords in this cabin," you tell Tashigi seriously, while she sits at her small writing desk, amusement obvious. "I'm here to make sure they're well-treated and regularly fed with the blood of pirates."

"I see you haven't lost your sense of humour over he last few days," she muses, placing some paperwork down. "That's unfortunate."

"I'm hilarious," you inform her, because you are the soul of wit. "You can drop and give me twenty for that blatant disrespect, Lieutenant Junior Grade."

Tashigi gives you a look that's so pointed, it'll probably be registered as a Meitou. Then she motions towards her leg, which is wrapped in a plaster cast. "I'll pass. SOME of us have actually been busy the last few days, Flashman."

>I've been busy! I baked a lot! And took photos!
>Busy getting injured? HA! (ignore the fact that you're also injured)
>Whatever, it's obvious that you're just jealous of my official right to inspect everyone's swords.
>Other?

>>3558679
>>Whatever, it's obvious that you're just jealous of my official right to inspect everyone's swords.
>And also of my ETERNAL DIBS on Lolonoa

>>3558679
>>I've been busy! I baked a lot! And took photos!

>>3558679
>>I've been busy! I baked a lot! And took photos! And killed a cult leader!

>>3558623
>>Sword inspector, open up!

>>3558679
>I've been busy! I baked a lot! And took photos! And killed a cult leader!
>Anyway, how did you break leg? Was it roof? I bet it was a roof, damned tilled bastards.

>>3558679
>>3558686
support

>>3558679
>>I've been busy! I baked a lot! And took photos!

>>3558679
>>Considering the crazy cult and their 'god' that I had to kill, all while being dragged around by the StrawHats, it hasn't been easy for me either.

>no-one appreciates you

"I've been busy! I baked a lot! And took photos! And killed a cult leader!" SO THERE.

"And couldn't sneak away for five minutes to tell anyone that Nico Robin hadn't murdered you?"

"... It was a LOT of baking. By the way, the Strawhats are a hundred percent batshit crazy." You slump down in the other chair, suddenly exhausted at just the thought of them.

Tashigi smiles. "So you fit right in?"

You sulk at her. "I mean it! Their captain is - ugh. And Lolonoa is... well. Oh! Their Doctor's cute! He's a fluffy Mink kid!"

"I... don't even know what to say about that," Tashigi says, blinking owlishly. "That's incredibly rare."

"He's so soft~" you croon, fingers twitching as if burying themselves in adorable Chopper-fur. "I want twelve of him."

Shaking her head, Tashigi neatens her paperwork. "The Commodore told us you called yesterday, but... Nico Robin really didn't tell anyone about you?"

>... Yeeeah. I kind of owe her a favor in exchange.
>Mm, dunno why. Didn't want to risk a fight, I guess.
>She was so wowed by my good looks and talent that she backed off. I mean, who wouldn't?
>Other?

>>3558783
>>... Yeeeah. I kind of owe her a favor in exchange.

>>3558783
>She was so wowed by my good looks and talent that she backed off. I mean, who wouldn't?

>>3558783
>>We had a deal. She didn't reveal who I really was, and I didn't take her head off with the closest weapon at hand before the Strawhat's dogpiled me, win-win!

>>3558783
>I blew the head off a giant bird and the guy riding it right in front of her with a cannonball. I wouldn’t want to spill the beans on me either.

>>3558797
Second

>>3558783
>>... Yeeeah. I kind of owe her a favor in exchange.

>>3558783
>>I blew the head off a giant bird and the guy riding it right in front of her with a cannonball. I wouldn’t want to spill the beans on me either.

>>3558783
>>I blew the head off a giant bird and the guy riding it right in front of her with a cannonball. I wouldn’t want to spill the beans on me either.

We didn't blew the head off a giant bird with a cannonball, just the guy riding it. We broke it's neck when it fell down.

>>3558783
>I blew the head off a giant bird and the guy riding it right in front of her with a cannonball. I wouldn’t want to spill the beans on me either

Rolled 42 (1d100)

Need sleep, sorry I couldn't push out another update tonight. Continuing Tashigi and then Fop tomorrow, possibly Garp if we get that far.

>>3558828
This sounds cooler though, so it's very in character for Flashman

>>3558848
Could always just change it to "two cultists, and snapped a giant fire-breathing bird's neck", I guess.

>>3558783
>I blew the head off a giant bird and the guy riding it right in front of her with a cannonball. I wouldn’t want to spill the beans on me either

>>3558783
>She was so wowed by my good looks and talent that she backed off. I mean, who wouldn't?
"They actually don't seem that bad? Seems like they are that kind of pirate trying to be honorable and not killing and stuff"

>>3558783
>I blew the head off a giant bird and the guy riding it right in front of her with a cannonball. I wouldn’t want to spill the beans on me either

>>3558783
>She was so wowed by my good looks and talent that she backed off. I mean, who wouldn't?
>"They actually don't seem that bad? Seems like they are that kind of pirate trying to be honorable and not killing and stuff"

>>3558783
>I blew the head off of a guy riding a giant, fire-breathing bird right in front of her with a cannonball. I wouldn't spill the beans on me either after that.

>>3558783
>I blew the head off of a guy riding a giant, fire-breathing bird right in front of her with a cannonball. I wouldn't spill the beans on me either after that.

>>3558783
>I blew the head off of a guy riding a giant, fire-breathing bird right in front of her with a cannonball. I wouldn't spill the beans on me either after that.

>>3558783
>I blew the head off of a guy riding a giant, fire-breathing bird right in front of her with a cannonball. I wouldn't spill the beans on me either after that.

Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>3558847
Rolling for Punished Garp

Also
>>3558783
>I blew the head off a giant bird and the guy riding it right in front of her with a cannonball. I wouldn’t want to spill the beans on me either.

Rolled 59 (1d100)

Out doing Important Things, updates laterish.

>>3560057
Punished Abs.

>i return, with update

"I blew the head off a giant bird and the guy riding it right in front of her with a cannonball," you explain. "I wouldn't spill the beans on me either after that."

This is kind of a lie, because you actually blew the rider's head off with a cannonball, not the bird - but you feel a little bit of self-censoring to make you not seem like a homicidal maniac might be good. Even though it was clearly self defence, the Strawhats DID seem a little averse to the de-heading (which is like beheading, but messier).

Tashigi, bless her sword-obsessed heart, doesn't flinch, although she does look pained. "You're really using cannonballs now?

"They're practical. I can't blow up a giant bird's head with a bullet." Yet.

Tashigi sighs. "I suppose..." From here, you can see mottled bruises and grazes, where her sleeved ride up or collar down. Clearly Mocktown didn't go quietly. "And no more drinking by yourself, all right? Ig- Curly and I couldn't find anyone who knew what crew your... drinking partner was with."

Aah, good old Captain Usopp. You'll keep quiet about him, in case he does the sensible thing and goes back home to grow turnips. Instead, you lean back on the chair, seeing if you can balance it on two legs despite the ocean's sway. "Dunno, just some pirate. Heeeey, by the way..."

>You should... probably be made aware that I'm a Logia now. Surpriiiiise!
>How's that Wado Whatever sword? As sword inspector it's very important that I know.
>Guess what? I have a kid!
>Other?

>>3560479
>>Guess what? I have a kid!
>>You're an aunt!

>>3560479
>How's that Wado Whatever sword? As sword inspector it's very important that I know.

>How's that Wado Whatever sword? As sword inspector it's very important that I know.
>Lolonoa has declared me his eternal rival and apparently that sword is a last gift from his master and stuff, veeeeeery dramatic.

>>3560485
>+1

Rub it in

>>3560479
>>3560485
This

>>3560485
This

>amber light

"How's that Wado Whatever sword?" Your query is completely innocent, naturally. "As sword inspector it's very important that I know. Lolonoa's declared me his eternal rival, and apparently that sword's a last gift from his master and stuff, veeeeeery dramatic."

Tashigi gives you a Look. "Eternal rival. Really, Flashman?"

"It's true! He was talking to pirate-me about the guy who captured him- that was Marine-me, if you somehow forgot - and he said he'd decided the guy was his rival. So now I have, like, eternal dibs on him. Ya snooze, ya lose, and all that." You fold your arms and nod in triumph.

Tashigi is less impressed, reaching up to adjust her glasses with visible annoyance. "First of all, pirates don't get to call dibs, because they're pirates. Secondly - actually, it's a repeat of the first point. Pirate opinions don't matter."

>Don't care. Eternal dibs acquired.
>Okay, but I still kinda sorta need that sword back. Sorry?
>Lolonoa isn't actually that terrible...
>Other?

>>3560553
>>Okay, but I still kinda sorta need that sword back. Sorry?
>>I'll show you pictures of my child in return?

>>3560553
>Don't care. Eternal dibs acquired.

>>3560553
>Lolonoa isn't actually that terrible...
>By which I mean he's even worse! A bigger sword freak than you!
>Which is why I kinda sorta need that sword back.

>>3560553
>>Don't care. Eternal dibs acquired.

>Lolonoa isn't actually that terrible...
>By which I mean he's even worse! A bigger sword freak than you!
>Which is why I kinda sorta need that sword back.

>>3560553
>Okay, but I still kinda sorta need that sword back. Sorry?
>Bribe her with learned sword techniques, definitely not from lolonoa. Definitely.

>>3560553
>All these anons who want to give back the sword to a pirate
Down to Impel down with you

>Don't care, eternal dibs acquired.
>He's somehow a bigger sword nut than you.

>very amber light

"Don't care, eternal dibs acquired." Damn, your balance is awesome. You could be chair-balancing champion of the world. "Even if he IS somehow a bigger sword-freak than you. And I still kinda sorta need that sword back?"

Confusion flits across her face. "Wado? Why?"

>(yeah, why?)

>>3560612
>"I uh, need to use it to defeat Zoro so that the sword's spirit is calmed. Otherwise it might become a cursed sword."

>>3560612
>Ok so he thinks I've been keeping the sword and we are gonna have an epic duel for it, and that I'm good enough a swordsman that I get the bond he had with it and now i feel like shit for just giving it away even if it was to you. Not gonna give it back to him but I still feel that if I'm gonna be his rival till we catch him I should have the sword, had a full heart to heart with the guy while drinking, I honestly do kinda want him as a rival.

>>3560612
>Because, even if he's a filthy pirate, he's not actually a bad person.
>More than that, i know he cares about that sword as much as i care about cut-chan.
>You know what it's like, don't you tashigi? You can feel it, can't you? The will of your sword...

>>3560612
> Tell her about your father's compass. Then tell her about the sword's story. Some things are more important than being a pirate or a marine

>>3560628
Support

>>3560628
support.

> Tell her about your father's compass. Then tell her about the sword's story. Some things are more important than being a pirate or a marine

Such a cruel thing stairs are

>>3560628

Also if she says something like "Maybe he was lying and he stole it" Flash can say that even if he looks dumb sometimes he is not always dumb. He knows he wasn't lying.

Serious Flashman for this. Honor is important.

>>3560628
Support

>>3560655
this

Just a reminder, you already told Tashigi about your compass back in Loguetown. Do you want to just tell her the tragic tale of how gravity murdered Lolonoa's previous rival instead?

>>3560665
i think pretty much share Zoros tragic backstory and the importance of the sword

>>3560665
Maybe we shouldn't tell the story again but we can remind her of it in relation to Wado to enforce the point.

She'll probably think we have stockholm syndrome tho

>>3560665
She knows, but a reminder doesn't hurt.

>>3560668
This, essentially.

>>3560670
After two days.

>>3560668
This

>>3560676
It's part of being Flashman.

You do shit like attain Armament Haki, kill God, and gain his powers and people believe you. But they'll also believe that you have stockholm syndrome after two days with pirates.

>>3560670
>She'll probably think we have stockholm syndrome tho
Pretty much yes, that's why I've been putting 'Amber light' as the update header greentext, hoho.

>>3560676
>After two days.
This is Flashman.
And now this is Flashman trying to convince Tashigi to give him back a meitou so he can give it to a pirate.
POOR NAIVE FLASHY, SO EASILY MANIPULATED BY PIRATE SCUM.

Writing.

>>3560691
If it comes down to it, i guess we'll just have to fight her for it.

>>3560693
Unless we use our Logia, which is basically a non-option unless we wanna get transferred, we’d probably get our ass beat. The only reason we won last time was because we rolled very high, if memory serves.

>>3560705
actually I think we have beaten her before in pure swording

>>3560705
That would kind of defeat the purpose, i think.
She can't fight right now anyways. I think it's time for flashman to finally focus on just his sword.

Not to kill pirates, but so he can defeat his own sister...

>>3560691
To be fair I'm firmly opposed to giving it back, but I'm largely outnumbered.
>>3560693
>Fighting our sis to give a sword to a pirate
>>3560705
>not trusting in the dice gods

>>3560711
Aaand my IP changed.
>>3560591
Still me.

>>3560711
>I'm firmly opposed to giving it back
We're not giving him back. Zoro will have to take him from us, like a pirate.

>>3560670
The idea is to frame it as an honor thing instead of liking them.

>>3560711
I want to give it back before our duel so he can use it, beat him and steal it again.

He will only get the sword back once he defeats us.

>heading into red light territory now

"Look." You uncross your arms and make vague motions with your hands, trying to figure out how to explain. "It's like - You remember what I told you about my dad's compass?"

"Yes?"

"Lolonoa's sword is... basically that, to him." You let the chair fall forwards onto all four legs again, leaning towards her as you do; and then you share the whole story of Zolo's previous rival, the girl who beat him in a thousand spars, followed by her tumble into dead-ification, and the sword that was supposed to be here. The sword that became his.

"Wado, to him, it's..." You trail off, unable to find the right words. "It's not just a sword to him. And some things are more important than being a pirate or a Marine. You understand, right? Tashigi?"

Tashigi's lips are pursed as she watches you, expression closed off. "Flash- Harry. This man has killed people. Marines, even. Whatever his connection to this sword, even if came into his hands legally - you want to place a weapon, a meitou at that, into the hands of a pirate?" She speaks slowly, every word crystal-clear and ringing with pointed disbelief. "You want to stain its blade with more undeserving blood? Is that what you're saying? Because - Harry, I could perhaps see giving him back a, a sentimental item like your compass, something that can't be used to - to murder and commit crimes, but this? Wado?" The final words sound like a plea. "Am I misunderstanding?"

>??????

>>3560705
Fight her while her leg's broken? Dick move...!

>>3560714
And he probably will.

We got him Armament and Kami-e, the latter of which he will no doubt have mastered by the time we meet again because of course he would, he's Zoro. He'll also likely have better quality swords from Water 7. I think he's probably weaker than he is in canon but it's around this time that he slices a goddamn train in two.

>>3560726
Oh am not giving it back to him, I'm going to beat him with it, when I arrest him I want to do it wielding Wado along my other blades.

>>3560726
>>3560726
>you seem to be misunderstanding ne, I don't want to five it back to him. I want to be the one that owns it. He sees me as a rival, an obsticale to overcome. If I'm the one that wields his blade, all that sentimentalism, sword and rivalry, falls on me. You're right, giving a pirate a weapon would be stupid, this is the nect best thing I can give without putting my back to my duty. One day either I'll be the one to slay him, or it'll fall on the next wielder of the Wado.

>>3560726
> I don't want to give it to him. I want to be the one he has to defeat to get it back. I trust your abilities but I feel like it's my duty now after everything that happened.

>>3560726
>>3560737
Supporting.

tfw you try to say the right words but someone else wraps it up succinctly mid-post

>>3560726
>Tashigi, he'll continue to fight regardless of whether it's with wado or some nameless sword.
>Staining it's blade? That sword doesn't care about something like that. That's your own sentiment.
>Besides which, i'm not giving it back to him. If he wants it, he'll have to take it from me.
>I know what they're like now, tashigi. On a personal level. I know they're not bad people. I thought that as pirates they'd just kill for fun and profit, but the strawhats aren't like that. It's even gotten me thinking that... maybe i'm a bit too eager to kill people myself.

>>3560737
supporting

I have a question. Are there actual Marine casualties from the Strawhats?

>>3560743
IIRC QM has confirmed that they've killed people. Not directly and intentionally but when you're doing as much damage as they are, you tend to have deaths.

>>3560743
Yes. Not generally deliberately, but in the heat of battle, they don't have the ability to make 100% sure nobody dies. Sometimes people bleed out referendum expected - others just don't get medical attention in time, or go into shock or have heart attacks when they have wounds they probably would have survived.

Not MANY Marines have died to them, but some (primarily when they were rescuing Zoro from Hina). Ennies Lobby hasn't happened but if it does and goes the same as canon, that's a shitload more they kill.

They haven't killed any of your own crew. Yet.

>hmmmmm

You shake your head. "That's not right.I don't want to give it to him. I want to be the one he has to defeat to get it back. I trust your abilities, but I feel like it's my duty now after everything that happened."

A groan of frustration, and Tashigi brushes her hair back in a shape movement. "Harry, he shouldn't have the CHANCE to get it back. I get that you feel there's some kind of... bond there - between you and him, not him and Wado - but you really don't owe him anything. He's a pirate. You're a Marine. Your ONLY duty is to arrest him or kill him, not to - to offer him an opportunity. Everyone has something they treasure, that doesn't mean..."

She breaks off and clasps her hands together, face determined. "Harry, you've spent... a while with the Strawhats. How do you feel about them?"

>?????

I'm not doing write-in answers for these myself, by the way, because I feel like it's pretty important that you guys personally decide the words used for this whole conversation. There's a lot of directions this can end in.

>>3560776
>When I was with them, they acted more like violent tourists than pirates.
>Bounties aside, connection to the Revolutionaries- who they might not even be connected with, given how they're treating Princess Vivi- aside... they're probably not bad people. Even if it's my job to arrest them.

>When I was with them, they acted more like violent tourists than pirates.
>Bounties aside, connection to the Revolutionaries- who they might not even be connected with, given how they're treating Princess Vivi- aside... they're probably not bad people. Even if it's my job to arrest them.
>But like you said, they've killed marines, am still gonna do everything I can to catch them. Seriously it would take something incredibly extreme to change my mind about that.

>>3560776
>They are a bunch of idiots. Not violent sadists, not paragons of justice... Just friendly idiots.
>They are a family... Like our crew...

>>3560776
>?????
Now I see Tashi. You don't want to give me that sword because you hope Lolona will attack you. For shame my subordinate, shame.

>>3560786
This

Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>3560798
oh no u figured it out oh shit

Rolling for Tashigi manipulation, that fiend

>>3560776
>>3560782
I like this except the Vivi bit, making points to counteract the negatives that we're in the middle of listing will only push her into the Stockholm Syndrome view even more, thinking we're making excuses. And rather than "probably," just "I don't think" since the former seems like we're guessing.

Besides, I don't think the way they treat Vivi runs counter to the Revolutionary connection. Her family was the only one of the original Nobles that descended.

>>3560805
Oh, rather than descended, I mean they're the only family that chose NOT to ascend, unlike the other Nobles.

>>3560805
I agree with this.