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File: Max Level Girl.jpg (1.75 MB, 3500x3500)
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"Congratulations, Adventurer, you have made it to the top of the Tower. In recognition of your deeds, you can-"

The flickering figment of an old man rambles on with a speech you've heard a thousand times. Any adventurer who capped their level can reach the top of the tower, as intended by the laws of the Celestial Clockwork. Immortality, priceless treasures, weapons that can sunder reality itself, power that exceeds the gods... you found all of these and more during the ten years that you've been farming the top of the tower.

Kings bow and scrape before you in hopes of finding your favor. Merchants would empty their treasure vaults to obtain the trash you pick up on your travails. The wisest of sages seek your counsel for all that you have seen and learned upon your journey. Knights beg the honor to match swords with you, when they aren't begging the honor of your hand. Your beauty matches your strength, and when you reach the level cap there are none in this world nor the next with the power to oppose you.

Yet nothing satisfies you anymore.

Ennui takes you, it stills your heart and makes what should have been another satisfying victory a hollow pile of meaningless dust. Your overwhelming and unchallengeable strength is a curse. Nothing challenges you. Even when you hire yourself a burly man to beat you, to push you down and sate your womanly urges, you barely feel anything for the tremendous difference in strength. Your heart yearns for the thrill of the knifes edge, where one false move will lead to your immediate demise... and nothing in this world can give you what you want.

"What treasure will you choose?" the figment asks. A relic of the founders, the first age who created the Stellar Laws and set the system that rules the world in motion.

As always, there are three chests for you to choose from. The uncertainty of a treasure chest is one of the few joys left to you in life, but even that fades when the treasure isn't earned through struggle. How you long to need to fight for it, to feel pain again, to be defeated...

The first treasure is another reliquary sword that can sunder the bonds of space and time to eliminate the concept of distance. You have seventy three such blades, each different from one another, but still quite the same.

The second treasure is a Greater Potion of Eternity. You drank one of these long ago, and can no longer be slain by any means, your eternal existence having become a law of this world. Now, you have a small pantry full of them, to be held over the heads of men and women who think themselves powerful, so you can derive some amusement in watching them squirm.

The last is new. Your heart flutters with a flicker of happiness.

[NEW GAME+]

You immediately choose it. The System Sings, and asks you to select a class. (Roll 1d100)
>Bard
>Dancer
>Hime
>Kunoichi
>Monk
>Ojou
>Priestess
>Shrine Maiden
>>
>>6116662
>Even when you hire yourself a burly man to beat you, to push you down and sate your womanly urges, you barely feel anything for the tremendous difference in strength.
reminds me of something I saw a long time ago
>Shrine Maiden
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>6116662
>Ojou

I like that sauce you dip the sandwiches in, this is a cooking class, right?
>>
>>6116662
>Kunoichi
The ol' classic.
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>6116662
>>
>>6116677
???
>>6116679
No it means drill curl type noblewoman (ojou-sama). More knightly compared to Hime's samurai stuff.
>>
>>6116662
>Hime
>>
>>6116695
+1
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>6116662
>Ojou
Ohohoho!
>>
>>6116662
>Kunoichi
Since our character REALLY wants a challenge, I suggest this:

>Challenge: Silent Protagonist
>Whether by curse, crippling injury, or a deformity at birth, you are incapable of articulating your voice into words.
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>6116677
I didn't see the roll
>>6116705
what ?
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>6116662
>>6116733
Shit, here's the roll. I think that's how this works.
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>6116714
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>6116662
>Ojou
The money isn't what we need, but having a permanent base of operations sounds nice. the "Hime" choice sounds similar but with extra political burden.
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>6116662
>Kunoichi
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>6116662
>Kunoichi
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>6116662
>Ojou
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>6116662
>Priestess
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>6116662
>Kunoichi
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>6116662
>Ojou
>>
>>6116662
Whats the difference between Priestess and Shrine Maiden?
>>
>>6117102
type of organized religion
>>
File: The New You.png (1.12 MB, 1200x1798)
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>Welcome to NEW GAME+
>WARNING: A stack overflow error has been recorded during the transmigration process
>Resetting [Attributes]
>Parsing expected [Attributes] from recorded [Level]
>WARNING: A stack overflow error has been recorded during the transmigration process
>Expected [Attributes] could not be parsed from [Level]
>Resetting [Level]
>Parsing expected [Level] from Akashic Record.
>[Level] exceeds maximum threshold
>[Level] has been set to 999 in the abstraction layer
>Parsing expected [Attributes] from recorded [Level]
>Purging [Boon] List
>WARNING: [Eternity] could not be purged from [Boon] List. Please stand by.
>Please stand by
>Please stand by
>Please stand by
>ADMIN s.yogg.sothoth has terminated processes for AutoTransmigrate after 3.71 epochs
>[Level] has been set to 1
>[Attributes] have been set to 100
>[Eternity] has been reformatted to low level metadata for neural computation object ID:8008135 and has been removed from the [Boon] List
>WARNING: Setting a [Boon] to low level metadata may result in unexpected changes to behavior patterns of virtual intelligent systems and requires two admins to successfully commit the change
>ADMIN s.yogg.sothoth has committed the change
>ADMIN s.shub.niggurath has committed the change
>ADMIN s.yogg.sothoth has started AutoTransmigrate

As always, the tower spits you back out to your bedroom. Items you collected from various floors of the tower and the many events that you participated in over the centuries decorate the room. Your favorite, ah, Incubus Horn sits where you left it this morning on your bed, a trophy from the Hall of Eternal Kings.

With a pretty blush you hide it in your drawer. Goodness, what if Jenkins saw it? Your butler was another drop from the Tower, and has been your eternal companion for the past few centuries.

If he saw how you comforted yourself in your ennui... how embarrassing.

One thing is strange, though. When you catch yourself in the mirror, it's apparent something forced you into different equipment. It reminds you of the "default" equipment that the Adventure Association gives to Kunoichi, the class you selected for that "New Game+" treasure. It's of finer make and the cloth has a more elaborate design - a subtle pattern of black flowers - but it's definitely the same cut.

Everything you had been wearing looks to be in your inventory, but when you try to equip it...

You must be Level 999 to use this equipment.

"Odd..." you mutter to yourself. "Did that treasure do something strange? Status Open"

Your breath hitches, your face flushes with excitement when your status opens and you immediately see something different. Some new field called inheritance sits above your level and holds the familiar number of "999". Below that, however, is a declaration you secretly yearned for for so long...

Level 1. (Roll 1d100)
>Run out to the wilderness and fight a monster
>Continue reading your status
>Call Jenkins and celebrate
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>6117220
>Continue reading your status
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>6117220
>Continue reading your status
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>6117220
>Call Jenkins and celebrate
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>6117220
>Run out to the wilderness and fight a monster

Time to find out what the title is all about.
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>6117220
>Continue reading your status
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>6117220
>Continue reading your status
>>
>>6117274
+1
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>6117220
>Continue reading your status
so kunoichi won the vote ?
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>6117220
>Run out to the wilderness and fight a monster
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>6117220
>Continue reading your status
then
>Call Jenkins and celebrate
>>
File: View Status.png (2.45 MB, 2400x2009)
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If someone else saw you scrolling through your status window, they might mistake you for a maiden in love. They would not be wrong, either. Your cheeks flush, your eyes sparkle, and your heart flutters as you read through everything presented to you. The last time you felt this excited was when you got eaten by a Supreme Cosmic Multiversal Overlord All-Devouring Dragon King a few centuries ago. While its stomach acids weren't enough to kill you, feeling actual pain for the first time in centuries banished your ennui for months on end.

By that point, even a black hole didn't make you feel pain.

In a world when no man could actually pin you down and make you feel weak and womanly, it was better than sex.

But that is far besides the point. All the boons that made you outright immune to real physical harm have been stripped away and your level has been reduced to 1. For sure, that same error you've been seeing for the past twenty thousand years on your skill list remains, but that represents things you know how to do rather than the abyss of strength that you had acquired. Skill are bounded by your attributes, and while a flat 100 across the board is absolutely absurd for someone at level 1...

Well, your previous attributes were millions of orders of magnitude greater. The difference between you and an ordinary level 1 might as well be a rounding error in comparison. Which means that some monsters on the first ten floors of the tower would actually make you work up a sweat... and ones from the next twenty could actually defeat you!

You doubt even going back to the top could kill you, though. Your race is marked as "Eternal". The [Eternity] boon has vanished, but looking closely at the details of your races tells you that if anything, it has become more inherent to you than it had been as a boon...

Eternal: A race born from an error within the Astral Law that occurred when one tried to leave it all behind while bearing the indelible mark of eternity. The synthesis of humanity and eternity that occurred outside of the Astral Law, granting its bearer an immortality beyond immortality. Here's to the girl who left it all behind, may her passions burn with an overwhelming intensity.

"Well that's a little..." your eyes narrow at the message.

Closing your status window, you take stock of your room again. On second glance, a number of things are out of place. Nothing appears to be missing, but Jenkins must have moved things around... your face immediately turns red, as that definitely means he saw your Incubus Horn. How foolish must you have been, to leave it out on cleaning day. Embarrassment swells in your cheeks and your gut, and you move to throw open your windows for some air.

Only to find that your view of the Silver District is gone. Why is your estate hanging about in the astral void?
>"JENKINS, WHAT THE FUCK?!"
>Jump out into your garden
>That means... there's strong monsters to fight!
>Write In
>>
>>6117546
>"JENKINS, WHAT THE FUCK?!"
>>
>>6117351
Yes, that was stated in the post. >>6117220
>It reminds you of the "default" equipment that the Adventure Association gives to Kunoichi, the class you selected for that "New Game+" treasure.
You are wearing the basic kunoichi gear right now, except it has the exclusive New Game+ skin.
>>6117274
Originally, Ishuzoku Reviewers if the protagonist was a bored System/Cultivation Novel Heroine and everything fades to black after she gets her fill of the ryona she not-so-subtly craves, but I'm having a bit too much fun with the LITRPG stuff to go for that purely. Expect a big part of it to be "challenge monster she stands no chance against, enjoys the pain of way too much, fade to black, she writes an unhinged review of how that monster is in bed that leaves the other female adventurers disturbed but also aroused". But that will be the smaller part of the narrative as a whole, more her side hobby than the plot itself.
>>
>>6117546
>"JENKINS, WHAT THE FUCK?!"

>>6117549
Sounds lovely.
>>
>>6117546
>The last time you felt this excited was when you got eaten by a Supreme Cosmic Multiversal Overlord All-Devouring Dragon King a few centuries ago. While its stomach acids weren't enough to kill you, feeling actual pain for the first time in centuries banished your ennui for months on end.
I see we have a vore fetish.
>That means... there's strong monsters to fight!
>>
>>6117546
>Jump out into your garden
>>6117549
so Aqua if she was a reviewer then and she might actually get laid. also, considering our status reset she can actually visit a brothel or get some dude from a bar as well.
>>
>>6117546
>That means... there's strong monsters to fight!
>>
>>6117546
I vote for
>"JENKINS, WHAT THE FUCK?!"
on the condition that it comes out as a vague yell or comedic sound effects >>6116733, otherwise

>Jump out into your garden
>>
>>6117562
>I see we have a vore fetish.
I think it's more like masochism, since she only got horny from the acid not by being eaten
>>
You poor girl... I want to hug you gently still.
>>
>>6117546
>"JENKINS, WHAT THE FUCK?!"

Not in frustration or anger, just surprise.
>>
>>6117546
>That means... there's strong monsters to fight!

Fight, fight, fight!

>>6117549
Ah, cool. Sounds super trashy, which suits me just fine, since I don't feel like thinking right now.

Not familiar with the mentioned title, or cultivation/system stuff in general since the premise is way too power fantasy-ish for my usual tastes.
>>
File: Ennui.jpg (1.2 MB, 2000x3008)
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Throwing open your window, you jump out into your garden.

The garden remains in the same pristine condition as it has for millions of years. Jenkins, bless his soul, regularly rotates out the plants for new ones and it seems that the new environment has affected how they grow and bloom. An ethereal light emanates from the leaves of the trees, casting them with an unearthly blue hue. The flowers glow like petals made of moonlight, while others glow with the red of Mars or the purple hues of Ouranos.

You've brought magical flowers to your garden before, so while refreshing and new, they are not so shocking to you. What shocks you is the color of the sky, painted with the aurora, and the sight of the ominous black titan around which sunlight swirls.

For a moment, your mind empties as you struggle to run a few calculations in your head.

Distance, size, the metaphysical weight, all the information engraved upon its surface for your keen eyes to pick through... it can only be one thing.

"JENKINS, WHAT THE FUCK!?" you call out to your oldest companion. "WHO COLLAPSED THE TOWER!?"

Silence hangs in the air for a moment, and then you hear the whir of Jenkins' engines dashing from the house. Your favorite metallic orb rockets towards you, his visual display showing the emoticon of shock. He keeps a respectful distance, more emoticons flashing across his face before he finally accepts what he's seeing and all shock is replaced by a giant smile.

"My stars and heaven's garters, Mistress Najmi!" Jenkins sounds like he's about to cry. "You're back! You're actually back! It's not just my sensors malfunctioning again, you're home! Oh, I knew you would return one day, and what a glorious day it is!"

Jenkins shoots forward and happily nuzzles against you. A bit awkwardly, you pat him on his silvery head and say, "I haven't been gone for that long, have I? Just took a quick jaunt up the tower..."

"I say, it wasn't quick, Mistress," Jenkins said, his voice choking up. "It's been... oh dear... it seems my chronometer encountered an error trying to measure time. We keep dates in a different format now, makes calculations so much more... well, Mistress Najmi, the universe restarted! Three times! Oh, it was all I could do to shunt the Manse inside the Tower's ruins, otherwise the expansion events would have made a right mess of things!"

You look up at the black titan and the light of information swirling about its core. "Are we inside the ruins right now, or outside of them?"

Jenkins happily projects a map showing the Manse's orbit around the ruins of the Tower. "We are currently 20km outside the ruins, experiencing relative time at a rate of 70% of a viewer at arbitrary distance. Our current relative gravity is being maintained at an acceleration of 9.81 m/s^2 via gravity modulation within the grounds of the manse. It is inadvisable to leave the grounds without regulating gravity due to our proximity to the ruins."
>>
>>6117944
You nod. A few mental calculations run through your head; as you are, you could keep yourself from becoming a pancake out there, but it would take most of your concentration to do so. Which isn't a bad thing, as any monster out there would have to be pretty powerful to survive, and would surely let you taste sweet defeat if you faced them.

Then again, maybe you shouldn't go out on a hunt immediately. Instant loss has its charm, for sure, but victory or defeat after a long fought struggle would be far more satisfying to you. You ponder for a moment before asking Jenkins, "Does the location wheel still function? I'd like to see what this new epoch looks like."

"It does, but..." Jenkins sounds a bit uncertain. "You won't be off gallivanting for the rest of the Epoch, will you? My emotional core would positively malfunction if you disappear again."

You pat him on his silver head once more. "Don't worry. I'll be back within the week, I promise."

Jenkins sniffs. "A whole week?"

"Well, as I am right now, I might get overwhelmed..." you tell him. A hungry smile crosses your face as you imagine the taste of struggle, of doing your best and being defeated by lowly creatures that overwhelm you with numbers. They can't kill you, but there are other things a humanoid monster might do with a beautiful woman like yourself. "But don't worry, I don't intend to fight anything I can't escape."

The location wheel is separated into four segments: Black, White, Gold, and Red. A lever lets you set which city the front door of your Manse opens out to.
>The Black City should be somewhere in the Reverse. High danger... but also high fun.
>The White City should be the capital of some goodly empire. Lower danger, but being overwhelmed by lowly creatures has a special appeal.
>The Gold City ought to be a place of commerce, where everything could be bought and sold. Maybe you could fight for a bit as a gladiatrix...
>The Red City should be a capital of war. A place where adventurers congregate to refine their skills against mighty foes, with enemies of all sorts to test your mettle.

(I mixed the votes because it was a three way tie when I started writing)
>>
>>6117946
>>The White City should be the capital of some goodly empire. Lower danger, but being overwhelmed by lowly creatures has a special appeal.
>>
>>6117946
>The Black City should be somewhere in the Reverse. High danger... but also high fun.

Lewd me up senpai! To adventure and beyond!
>>
>>6117946
Red :)
What better way to test our nerfed abilities than a warzone
>>
>>6117946
>The White City should be the capital of some goodly empire. Lower danger, but being overwhelmed by lowly creatures has a special appeal.
It's been a while since we could hang in the 'easy' zone. let's take a boo.
>>
>>6117946
>>The White City should be the capital of some goodly empire. Lower danger, but being overwhelmed by lowly creatures has a special appeal.
Easy zone! We DEFINITELY won't lose to these weird goblins!
>>
>>6117946
>The Gold City ought to be a place of commerce, where everything could be bought and sold. Maybe you could fight for a bit as a gladiatrix...
>>
>>6117946
>The Red City should be a capital of war. A place where adventurers congregate to refine their skills against mighty foes, with enemies of all sorts to test your mettle.
Struggle for the adversity god, goon for the cum throne
>>
>>6117946
>The Red City should be a capital of war. A place where adventurers congregate to refine their skills against mighty foes, with enemies of all sorts to test your mettle.
>>
>>6117946
>The White City should be the capital of some goodly empire. Lower danger, but being overwhelmed by lowly creatures has a special appeal.

Always start small.

Also, is it normal to hear Jenkins in Codsworth's accent?
>>
>>6118233
That is EXACTLY what I was going for, lol. He's magical space Codsworth.
>>
Nowhere better to start than the so-called starter town.

You set the location wheel to the White City. Nothing there should amount to a major threat, if the item still functions in accordance with the Astral Law. The destination changes every thousand years or so as the threats in the regions surrounding the city ebb and flow. More than once have such cities been sacked by orcs and goblins while you were absent, the men slaughtered and the women given the enviable experience of becoming an orc's bride.

You, of course, shall never lose to such lowly creatures! There's no way that one of them will grab your head in a crushing grib, punch you so hard in the stomach that you piss yourself, and then drag you back to his smelly cave and make you his woman. Not a chance.

The very thought that even lowly goblins might threaten you now fills you with such excitement that it's with bright eyes that you wave goodbye to Jenkins. "I'll be back soon, Jenkins! Please keep caring for the Manse as you have been."

"You can count on me, ma'am!" The emoticon on Jenkins' display becomes extra serious. "I promise, nothing will be out of place upon your return. Not even the Incu-"

"Pretend you never saw that, please," you beg him as you rush out.

"Mum's the word, then, Mistress Najmi!"

On the other side of the door, you find a grand and glorious city. True to its designation, the walls of every building along the main drags gleam with polished white stone, its roofs capped with brass and gold. Carriages float by, and some even fly through the air, marking this place a step or two more advanced than the average Starter Town.

A great golden-capped pyramid dominates the horizon, sitting alongside a massive court building, before which a titanic statue of a winged nude woman proudly holds a pair of scales. The stairs go up either side flanked by the solemn figure of two equally nude men, one of whom holds a sword and the other a staff.

You catch a few stares as you step onto the streets. The Veteran Kunoichi set you wear is at once more modest and more flashy than the outfits worn by the women you pass. Though your breasts are both covered while their dresses all leave one exposed, the way your undergarments provide support and push them up is eye catching in its own right. While your dress is no shorter than most, that it leaves your thighs exposed must be a bit scandalous to the locals, even if you wear shorts beneath it.

You are not unused to stares of envy and greed at your jade beauty.

If anything, they make you puff up with pride as you strut confidently down the way, knowing that no one can truly harm you, even as you are right now. (Roll 1d100)
>Head to the adventurer's guild to see what quests they have.
>Find some thugs to test yourself against.
>Immediately make for the city limits in search of weird goblins to fight.
>...See where you can get one of those dresses, they look cute.
>(Write In)
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>6118283
>...See where you can get one of those dresses, they look cute.
>>
>>6118283
>Head to the adventurer's guild to see what quests they have.
Not sure how well you'll be able to deliver on this premise on a blue board, QM...
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>6118283
>>6118292
Oh, woops, dice. Duh.
>>
>>6118283
>Find some thugs to test yourself against.
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>6118283
>You, of course, shall never lose to such lowly creatures! There's no way that one of them will grab your head in a crushing grib, punch you so hard in the stomach that you piss yourself, and then drag you back to his smelly cave and make you his woman. Not a chance.
man, she's really a maso slut

>Head to the adventurer's guild to see what quests they have.
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>6118283
>Head to the adventurer's guild to see what quests they have.

Adventure should have profit.

>>6118292
Pretty sure QM said it'll be fade to black.
>>
>>6118283
>Head to the adventurer's guild to see what quests they have.
then
>...See where you can get one of those dresses, they look cute.

Just because we might have ulterior motives doesn't me we shouldn't do it though official channels. Also, SHOPPING TIME!
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>6118283
Right, forgot my roll
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>6118283
>...See where you can get one of those dresses, they look cute.
>>
>>6118292
Very carefully.
>>6118315
What makes you say that ;)
>>6118373
Profit is good but when you have a bunch of shiny rocks that Emperors will literally grovel for, do you NEED money? MC Chan lost her strength, and is too low level to use most of her equipment. She did not lose her vast wealth and Amazon warehouse system full of priceless artifacts.
>>6118389
>>6118391
Based roll, you'll get a perfect single breasted dress for those nasty goblins to tear up, probably.
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>6118283
>>6118389
+1
>>
>>6118412
>What makes you say that ;)
the being beaten until she pisses herself thing. the "oh no, they'll sex me" is an okayish fantasy, until she added non ironic pain stuff
>>
>>6118659
Something something Fall of Eldar, something something Hinanawi Tenshi, something something boredom bad for sanity.
>>
>>6118283
>>...See where you can get one of those dresses, they look cute.

Sure. Let's see a little more of her tastes.
>>
File: Miranda.jpg (3.71 MB, 2739x3146)
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Before you follow the ever reliable MicroMap to the Adventurer's Guild, you decide to seek out some cosmetics that will let you blend in with the local fashions. When in Rome and all that, you think the old saying goes. Besides, leaving one of your breasts exposed... even if it's the norm for this era and region, the thought of doing so sends a thrill down your spine and gets you excited for your adventures.

The entrance to your Manse sits on a well traveled street, so you find a clothier quite easily, nestled next to the tailoring supplies.

A bored looking woman with sandy blonde pigtails and a dress that keeps her chest fully covered sits behind the counter. One hand supports her chin while she thumbs her dataslate, muttering 'take that!' as she doubtlessly plays whatever minigames are popular these days. Without looking up, she drones out, "Welcome to Cosmic Threads, your home for all things fashionable. There anything I can help you with, ma'am?"

"Indeed!" you say. The [Omniglot] skill comes in handy here, as you passed by enough chatter that you've already achieved perfect fluency in the local language. "I'm new to this city, and was hoping to buy myself something a bit more fashionable than these..."

You gesture at your armor.

In truth, it's not unfashionable at all. The fine cut, perfect fit, and resplendent detail work make it quite the beautiful set of armor. You just want something in the local style.

She looks up at you, and you can see lights flicker before her eyes as she reads your status. In your day and age, that would be rude, but perhaps here it's normal to check the status of strangers. "Level 1, huh... alright, I'll see what I can do ya for. What's your budget?"

That's a very good question. Last you checked, you have about 1.9 x 10E37 dinar in your Akashic Treasure Vault - a dimensional storage that holds your items as information. You had more about a week ago, before you closed on a galactic subsector that... fuck, that all got destroyed in those universal restarts, didn't it? What a waste!

Oh well, spilled milk and all.

Since you're level 1 right now, you don't want to flash extreme wealth. Someone might think they could rob you, after all, even though everything is kept in a cosmic security vault that only you can access. So you put 100 dinar on the table and ask, "Will this be enough?"

"Huh, let me take a look," the woman says. Her lips curl into a frown when she her eyes pass over the coins, "Not exactly familiar with this currencyyyyyyyyy-what the fuck."

She looks up and stares at you. Oh no, did you make a mistake? Is that not enough? You start fishing through your purse before she says, "No seriously, what the actual fuck? These coins are from the first universal epoch. How did a level 1 like you even... actually, you know what, I'm not even going to ask."

"Is... Is that enough to buy a dress?" you ask, somewhat worried. It's been a long while since you actually bought clothing...
>>
>>6118931
The woman's head tilt's at an odd angle, and for some reason you swear you hear a sound like a creaking hinge. She stares at you for what feels like an eternity before letting out the breath she was holding in a long, forlorn sigh. Then her expression shifts from disbelief to a bright, cheerful smile as she reaches across the counter and clasps your hands in hers. Looking you dead in the eye, she tells you, "Honored customer, if this is your budget, I - Miranda the Cosmic Tailor - shall see you leaving this store bedecked in nothing less than our finest silks and jewels. A full wardrobe, enough that you need not wear the same dress more than once a year, nor the same jewelry more than once a month!"

"Huhhhhhhhhhhh!?" you cry as she all but pushes you towards the measuring room. "But that's way too much!"

"Now you know how I feel, honored customer," Miranda hisses into your ear. "That sum, in First Epoch Coin... an Imperial Wardrobe with jewels is the only way I can balance the scales. So, you who throw that sum around like coppers shall have such a wardrobe, as it would be improper to allow a woman of such wealth to run around in starting equipment, however fine your set may be."

"..." you have a feeling that you made a mistake, and won't be able to bargain this woman down to just 10 dresses for five dinar or so. Well, spilled milk and all. "Very well. Though I will ask you not to call me honored customer, please. Najmi is fine."

Miranda stares at you again for a moment, before nodding. "Very well, Madame Najmi."

Even though she comes to know your body's every secret as she takes your measurements, her hands getting quite friendly as she grabs at every one of your luscious curves, she does not drop the "Madame" from your name. It's annoying, but what can you do? Once she gets your measurements complete, she goes right ahead and stitches you into a a dress of the city's favored style. Flowing and full of excess clothe to show off your wealth, the silk glitters with the light of a million star that dance among the shifting nebula.

Importantly - very importantly - it leaves your right breast exposed. Miranda gives you the option of a piercing or a clamp to bedeck it with the proper jewelry. You choose a little golden hoop studded with diamonds and sapphires, which connects to the belt of golden disks about your waist through seven fine mithral chains. Miranda gives you the piercing here and now, which led to a fun little exchange.

"Alright, so I'll go ahead and cast a numbing spell right here," Miranda says, going through its somatic components.

You grab her clasped hands and say, "No need."

She gives you a look and says, "There's no need to prove how tough you are, Madam Najmi. Trust me when I say that there are only a few things more painful than-"

"As I said, no need."

"Oh," she looks like she suddenly understands something horrifying. "You're one of those girls..."
>>
>>6118932
The pain of being pierced there is sublime. The only thing that keeps it from perfection is the circumstances, as Miranda is far more clinical and respectful than a tribe of goblins would be. Of course, clinical has charm in its own way, but rather than a ring you think you would have preferred an identification tag, the sort that a farm would hang from the ear of a cow. Ideally it would have your face in a shameful expression, an ID number, and a barcode.

All the same, you cannot help but enjoy it. Pleasure you have experienced in spades across the uncounted years you have lived, but pain - from exertion, from wounds, from anything really - has been absent from your life for so long that it feels all the sweeter when you do get to experience it. Stars fill your eyes as pain shoots across your nerves, spreading like wildfire across your body and leaving you gritting your teeth, weak in the knees.

Miranda's expression as you make a fool of yourself is just icing on the cake. Any reverence she had for the "honored customer" is gone from her voice, though she's still far too respectful to a masochistic pig like you. "This is why I should have numbed you, Madam Najmi. If I didn't know my cantrips, you would have ruined the fabric."

"Yes, well..." you say with a deep breath, leaning on her for support as you steady yourself. "That was magnificent."

Miranda pats you on the shoulder, rolling her eyes, "Yes, well, I'm certain you think so. Now, let us finish the dress, I'm sure you have more important places to be."

You sign the contract to pick up your dresses and all the other jewelry in a month. Three hundred and seventy two dresses make up an Imperial Wardrobe, apparently, and each one will be different from the last. Miranda gives you a funny expression again as you utilize your Akashic Treasure Vault to equip the dress as cosmetic items for the Kunoichi Armor, and boggles as you quickly swap between cosmetics on and off.

The idea that the dress will now never be harmed even if goblins were to tear it off you seems alien to her, but you suppose it's because this is a starter city. High Level Adventurers who can set cosmetics to their items must be a rare sight, if they're seen at all.

Now, wearing your new dress leaves you no less eye-catching than you were in your armor. Your jade like beauty shines now that you have adornments to match it. Feeling the eyes of uncultured men on a place that you normally keep covered brings a weird smile to your face, sending thrill after thrill down your spine, to the point where you almost shudder with delight.

Especially when you enter the Adventurer's guild, which is almost entirely inhabited by burly ruffians. Good heavens.

A few of them snicker as you walk up to the board to pick out the first quest of your [New Game+] (Roll 1d100)
>Goblin extermination.
>Bandit subjugation.
>Herb collection.
>Courier to the next town.
>Well diggers' protection detail
>(Write in)
>>
>>6118933
>Goblin extermination
Wow, we're a turboslut huh?
Are you the QM from that wizard turned succubus quest a while back?
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>6118933
Cute and funny. A shame though, I liked our starting outfit.

>Goblin extermination.

Haa~ah

Obligatory choice.
>>
>>6118948
Oh shit, I should have rolled... But feels like there's little point now.
>>
>>6118944
No, not sure what quest you're talking about.
>>6118948
Starting outfit is still there, she'll probably wear the Imperial Wardrobe around because it's flashier. Can't beat the Kunoichi armor for movement (and Kunoichi are naturally defeated by orcs and other monsters, per the various research materials)
>>6118949
Additional rolls can only improve the result. Though I have a REALLY funny idea about how to use the Nat 1 if everyone wants to keep it..
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>6118933
>Goblin extermination.
>>
>>6118944
Which quest? Asking solely for research purposes.

>>6118956
Dew it.

>>6118931
How did she recognize our coin that quickly? Is she a cosmic entity, or it's just something from her [Merchant] class? Her moniker sounds suspicious NGL.
And more importantly, how did we gather THAT much wealth back in our first run? How many galaxies did we rule back then? For reference, our current planetary GDP is about 1E14.
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>6118933
>Herb collection.
Ask about known monster hotspots and the locations of the two subjugation quests - ostensibly to avoid them, of course.

If we're getting waylaid by everything we encounter then don't do anything with a time limit or put others at risk.
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>6118933
>Bandit subjugation.
>>
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>>6119063
>Which quest? Asking solely for research purposes.
this one from pic rel
>>
>>6119112
oh yeah, I remember that one. It got nuked for having a no holds barred sex scene after the QM claimed he'd keep things purely ecchi
>>
>>6119175
Extremely based sounding QM
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>6118933
>Bandit subjugation.
>>
>>6118956
Do it. Keep the one.
>>
>>6119112
Oh yeah I remember that, did it get archived before it got nuked?
>>
>>6119250
only in .moe I think
>>
>>6119063
>>6118956
>No, not sure what quest you're talking about.
>Which quest? Asking solely for research purposes.
I don't even remember the title. it got less than a full thread, but had a similar scene where the super-advanced adventurer started over under a new identity using advanced magic items, and then got groped a bunch by his tailor.
>>
>>6119063
First Epoch currency is really conspicuous, it was gonna be an inevitability that whomever you buy things from will recognize it. As for how you got that much wealth... grinding the Tower for millions of years. You did not own galaxies, the subsector was gonna be your first real investment. Well, after your manse, which cost a LOT due to its proximity to the Tower.
>>6119112
>>6119175
>>6119250
That was me yes, I'm gonna try to keep it in my pants this time
>>6119341
Nope, that was not me.
>>
>>6119437
Glad seeing you refreshed. Just remember to use pastebin or rentry for any lewd stuff.
>>
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A classic hangs on the wall, and you can't help yourself. An ordinary level one would have no chance at succeeding in goblin extermination after all, and even with a flat 100 across every attribute you would probably need to leverage the full breadth of your skills to complete it. The challenge excites you. The joys of a hard won victory have been denied to you for years beyond counting, and with goblins being how they are...

Defeat can be pretty sweet as well.

You find yourself daydreaming about a horde of goblins who just barely overcame you with numbers passing you around and using you as they would the village girl they kidnapped. The shame, the humiliation, the thrill of being violated after being overwhelmed by violent force...

"That's a dangerous quest you're looking at, ma'am," a soft voice rings out behind you. A light tenor and far too polite for your tastes. "It would be a shame if those uncouth savages caused a rare gem like you to have even a hair fall out of place. Though if it's truly your wish to exterminate those vermin, my party would happily offer to join your endeavor."

You turn around to a sight that most young women would cream themselves over.

Four beautiful and well groomed men in perfectly tailored armor and equipment. Their leader wears a resplendent suit of armor plating, one that either cost a pretty penny to craft or dropped from a suitably rare mob. With short blonde hair and gleaming blue eyes, he is the very picture of a holy knight. Behind him stands a fire haired wizard clad in elaborate robes, filled out well by his muscular frame. The in archer in black leathers has a certain roguish charm to him, with the tan of a hard day's work on his skin and gleaming grey eyes beneath his hood. To cap off the group, a holy man with the distinguish pointed ears of an elf, a broad frame filling out his cassock and green hair falling like wild leaves down to his waist.

Each of them is a magnificent specimen of a man, the sort whose attentions would be enough to make a common girl swoon. But you are no common girl, and their attentions are not something you desire.

After all, their expressions are far too reverent, their tones far too respectful. You know how you are, you understand that what your heart craves is a perversion, and you have no desire to be placed upon a pedestal by any man who looks at you just because you're pretty. If they wanted your attention and respect, they would gaze at you with greedy eyes that lustfully trace the curves of your sinful body. How can a man look at a perverted, lustful woman like you and not look down upon her like the pig-sow she is.

You want to be looked down upon and trampled on.

Such respectful, honest gazes disgust you. (Roll 1d100)
>Explain that you'll be fine dealing with the goblins on your own.
>Pick another quest, or else they won't leave you alone.
>Take them up on their offer, you suppose.
>(Write In)
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>6119453
>Explain that you'll be fine dealing with the goblins on your own.
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>6119453
>Explain that you'll be fine dealing with the goblins on your own.
"I'm confident in my abilities and it's not like those barbarians could graze even a hair of mine, like you said. They certainly could never put me in a desperate situation which I'd be hard pressed to win while my confidence diminishes."
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>6119453
>Scoff and sneer at their attentions. Don't hold back your derision, let the arrogance flow. Then ignore them and be on your way.
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>6119453
>>6119481
+1
Also roll. Is it bo3, qm?
>>
>>6119453
>Explain that you’re immortal and looking to get bad ended for fun
>>
>>6119453
>Pick another quest, or else they won't leave you alone.

Intentionally failing quests is a quick way to get thrown out of the Adventurer's Guild. Be roundabout about our proclivities - and for gods' sake don't just walk up to and tell them we're here to get Bad End'ed unless we want to end up as their Persona Non Grata.

However, say, if we pick the herb gathering quest, as long as we deliver the herb nobody would ask THAT much about how many goblin caves and warg dens we "accidentally" passed through.
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>6119453
>>6119660
>>
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The four men almost instinctively flinch back from you when you turn and flash them an unimpressed stare.

You wonder for a moment why that is. While you only find a middling twenty-two as the highest level among them, your [True Status] skill shows that their attributes are not all that bad. The blonde holy knight who leads them even manages to exceed you in strength, though only by a half dozen points. If they only have [Status] or [Greater Status] to judge your abilities, the [Presence Erasure] will have disguised your attributes as average for your chosen class of Kunoichi. They should see you as a paper tiger, easily torn apart.

Except, oh wait, it appears that you instinctively activated [Demoralizing Gaze] in your contempt and disgust. With your magic power at 100, it's a formidable enough skill to shake the will of most creatures below level 25... and below level 10, they'd be rendered useless. Well, it suits them right for being so respectful to a perverted pig-sow like you. If they had concerns and wanted to stop you, that knight should have just grabbed one of your breasts in his big, strong hand and harshly told you:

"No, you dumb sow. You'd be spending the day entertaining me and my buddies here. Why? Because we've got the good sense not to bruise your pretty face when we treat you roughly!"

A real man would have seen through your jade-like beauty and facade of pride to the masochistic pig-sow squirreled away underneath. A proposition like that, made by a man who was at least strong enough to pose you a challenge would have had you on your knees and servicing him like the filthy whore you are. Alas, it's way too early for boys like these to make a move like that. Maybe if they live for another century, they might have enough confidence to put the moves on you properly.

The intensity of your gaze softens as you let the powerful skill drop. Your lips twist into the sort of smirk that you used to taunt the Jade Emperor of a Trillion Planets, holding the Elixir of Eternity over his head and denying him true immortality, "If four big, strong men like you flinch at my gaze, I wonder how the goblins will react. Will their little hearts give out before they can touch me?"

You make to leave with the quest in hand.

The Holy Knight grabs you by the shoulder before you get too far. A thrill runs down your back as he puts his back into it, with far more strength than he should really need to keep a lowly level one with middling attributes like yours should appear. Such a manly display of dominance sets your heart a-flutter. For a moment, you wonder if you don't need the quest for your little diversion today, if perhaps he intends to put this smirking woman before him in her place, if you provoked him into using that strength of his to bend you to his will.

Alas, his tone is still far too respectful when he tells you, "You shouldn't underestimate goblins. They're more dangerous than you might think."
>>
>>6119767
"So am I," you say, shrugging out of his grip with practiced ease.

You leave the four men looking at each other, and the Holy Knight staring at his hand. Perhaps you played your cards too openly, for there are certain laws of the world that apply even in the new epoch. A level one Kunoichi should only have between 6 and 10 strength, and with how much force he used to hold you back... you would have needed to exceed it to escape so smoothly. If he put half his strength into his grip, then you would need to be at least half as strong as him.

When his gaze turns to you, you offer him no answers. After all, a woman is more beautiful when she holds a frustrating secret. The only thing you offer him is a wiggle of your butt and a swish of your hips, to see if you can't draw his eyes to someplace a little less respectful. Miraculously it works, though he reddens and looks away near immediately. Perhaps he's not so hopeless after all...

Once you leave the guild, you look a bit more closely at the quest.

Whomsoever bears this letter is thusly charged with the collection of no less than one dozen pairs of goblin ears, to be taken from den or lone ferals found within a ten mile radius of the city of Marmorton. The first twelve pairs shall be purchased by the guild at a price of one silver dolar per pair. All subsequent pairs shall be purchased for one silver dolar for two pairs, to a maximum compensation of 30 dolars. This quest expires on the 4th day of Flame, in the year 1304 Under Heaven.

Signed, Sultan Abdul al-Maerid


So the quest is to kill up to forty eight goblins within the next week, going by what your ever-trusty HUD tells you. You could probably bang that out in a day, once you set your [Perfect Tracking] skill to find the nearest goblin. Combining the skill with the ever-reliable MicroMap, and you can see where goblins have concentrated themselves. Of course, you'd rather get banged out by the goblins... at least, before you kill any. (Roll 1d100)
>Job first, desires second. You'll get the work done before pleasure to avoid having the need to work ruining the experience.
>Desires first, job second. You can set an alarm now for when you need to stop goofing off, and avoid getting carried away and missing the deadline to hand things in.

The ever reliable MicroMap shows you several places where the pests have concentrated themselves. You decide to go to...
>The southern steps, where they rustle cattle from their herders.
>The northern plains, where they raid caravans for spoils and women.
>The eastern seaboard, where they've hidden in caves and harass beach goers.
>The western forest, where the trees make them a pain to deal with for hunters and woodsmen.
>The undercity, where they've squirrelled themselves to pop out of manholes in the night.
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>6119769
>Job first, desires second. You'll get the work done before pleasure to avoid having the need to work ruining the experience.
>The undercity, where they've squirrelled themselves to pop out of manholes in the night.

Use our attack to provoke them into getting their revenge on us. We have dimensional storage so it's not as if they'd be able to get their comrades' ears back anyhow.
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>6119769
>Job first, desires second. You'll get the work done before pleasure to avoid having the need to work ruining the experience.
>The undercity, where they've squirrelled themselves to pop out of manholes in the night.

Make them earn it. It's not good unless it happens organically. To help them along, and make things more interesting for ourselves, we'll give ourselves a handicap by fighting in a cramped arena, rather than a more suitable environment for our skills, like the forest.

Besides, we don't need to stop once we meet our quota and turn it in. It just has to be real.
>>
>>6119769
>Desires first, job second. You can set an alarm now for when you need to stop goofing off, and avoid getting carried away and missing the deadline to hand things in.
>The northern plains, where they raid caravans for spoils and women.
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>6119804
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>6119769
>Job first, desires second. You'll get the work done before pleasure to avoid having the need to work ruining the experience.
>The northern plains, where they raid caravans for spoils and women.
It's even funnier if we fuck up and don't get raped. like One Punch man or I parry Everything, but with a masochist incel lady.
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>6119769
>Job first, desires second. You'll get the work done before pleasure to avoid having the need to work ruining the experience.
that way we won't be distracted and enjoy the fun

>The northern plains, where they raid caravans for spoils and women.
>>
>>6119810
>It's even funnier if we fuck up and don't get raped. like One Punch man or I parry Everything, but with a masochist incel lady.
anon, how's she an incel ? she's unfufilled before, but she was able to get laid.
>>
>>6119822
She wasn't an incel now, but she can become one now! Well, in the only way that matters: failing to get satisfactory fulfillment of her rape fantasy.
>>
>>6119810
. . .
.
.
You know? Because you called the fuck up and got a natural one... we're gonna do the funny.
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>6119769
>Job first, desires second. You'll get the work done before pleasure to avoid having the need to work ruining the experience.
>The undercity, where they've squirrelled themselves to pop out of manholes in the night.
>>
>>6119840
>You know? Because you called the fuck up and got a natural one... we're gonna do the funny.
erm, his roll was outside the first 3
>>
>>6119881
I'll put it to a vote and let democracy decide.
>Use the Nat 1 for a funny
>Do not use the Nat 1 for a funny
>>
>>6119891
>Use the Nat 1 for a funny

>>6119881
Are we even using b03?
>>
>>6119891
>Use the Nat 1 for a funny
>>
>>6119891
>Do not use the Nat 1 for a funny
>>6119907
>Are we even using b03?
I thought we were
>>
>>6119891
>Use the Nat 1 for a funny
>>
>>6119891
>Use the Nat 1 for a funny.

Also if it's not too late...
>Job first, desires second. You'll get the work done before pleasure to avoid having the need to work ruining the experience.
>The undercity, where they've squirrelled themselves to pop out of manholes in the night.
>>
>>6119891
>Do not use the Nat 1 for a funny
>>
>>6119891
>Use the Nat 1 for a funny
>>
>>6119891
>Use the Nat 1 for a funny

We Darkness now.
>>
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The entrance to the so-called Marmorton Undercity sits nestled in the shadow of the cliff that overlooks the chain of wetland islands that fill the mouth of the Sorx River. Dense swarms of phytoplankton drink up the light of an emerald sun and lend the waters of the river a blood red hue that slowly diffuses into a sea of turquoise, overgrown with the thousand-and-one colors of tropical forest of coral. These colors blend with the flowers that litter each island, points of gold and white and blue and purple and pink amidst a sea of deep green shrubbery and grass.

The red sands of the beach speak to the rich iron content of rock and stone, and the birth of the Marmorton Undercity. Veins of blood red iron oxide streak through the unpolished marble of the cliffs. The old quarries gave the city its name for the pure marble they produced, and the mines brought it the tremendous wealth it enjoys to this very day. The Undercity is the corpse of these industries, repurposed and reclaimed by the residents over the course of a century to serve as sewer and septic system.

At least, so says the lore document produced by your [Sagely Wisdom] skill upon seeing the iron gates that bar your passage.

A pair of guards stand vigilant by them. They each carry [Uncommon] arms and armor as befitting of their level and station, a fair sight above the [Common] equipment afforded to a freshly minted Level 1. Even the so-called veteran Kunoichi gear granted by [New Game+] is only rare due to its appearance. Its attributes remain what one would expect from starter equipment.

Though it will take far more than a set of green-tier armor and a crossed pair of spears to impress you. The respect in the guard's voice for... well, you suppose as daring as your dress is, it does belong more to a noblewoman than a whore in this corner of the verse. But it still knocks a few points off your opinion of the man.

"Sorry Ma'am," he says, using an entirely unnecessary honorific. "Undercity's closed to everyone below Level 10. There are dangerous monsters down there right now, and the captain would have my head if I knowingly allowed a lady of such obvious means to pass through these gates and come to harm."

"Uh, Dastan?" the other guard says.

The first man, Dastan, side-eyes him and says, "Not now, Rostam. I'm trying to explain to this young lady that she must not venture into the Undercity."

"Yeah, but..." Rostam raises a gauntleted hand and points to where you stood not a moment ago. "I, uh, think that's just one of those afterimage thingamajigs that you were talking to."

"What!?" he says, snapping his head back.

Obviously, you shunted yourself through the gate using a combination of low level Kunoichi skills boosted by your over-inflated attributes. A simple [Body Flicker] seamlessly woven with a use of [Clone] shot you straight through the iron bars of the gate and saw you on your way. Just as planned.
>>
>>6120492
Well, mostly as planned. You still need to get used to how much magic power you possess. It's a tiny droplet compared to the raging river that you could once command as easily as your breathed, but it still represents more power than any level one has a right to have. Having grown used to attributes measured in the centillions, the difference between 1 and 100 amounts to little more than a rounding error. Gauging how much power you put into something has become rather difficult... and the [Body Flicker] that should have placed you right past the bars sent you careening down a hallway.

That suits you just fine. It puts more distance between you and the shouts of the guardsmen shocked at your sudden disappearance, making your job all the more simple.

After all... you're here on business for now. Pleasure comes later.

The ever reliable MicroMap guides you through the winding sewer tunnels towards the nearest goblin nest. Amidst the filth of an old, dried out cistern, they have built a mockery of a village, barely more than furs and scrap cloth strung together into a pile of haphazard huts. When [True Status] shows you just how far outclassed a lone level one ought to be, a wretched smile splits your face in two with an endless hunger that radiates bloodlust. How long have you yearned to struggle like a weakling, to push yourself to the limits of your endurance.

It's not something that you've experienced in aeons, and as you draw your sword your heart fills with yearning.

"Come at me, you lowly gnats!" you growl out a husky challenge. "Come at me and die like pathetic worms. If you win, you can have your way with my body."

The two closest goblins look at one another, and...

"COME BACK HERE AND FIGHT ME, YOU WRETCHED COWARDS!" you cry as you give chase to a fleeing horde of goblins. Not a single one of those savage beasts took up arms against you. In fact, they all dropped their weapons and ran away screaming. A few of them even keeled over on the spot, their lives taken by the fear your words instilled in them. "YOU DARE FLEE FROM THE JUDGMENT OF HEAVEN'S SWORD!? FACE ME, CRAVEN DOGS!"

As the goblins flee from your wrath, the slaves they kept for breeding look up at you with naked awe upon their faces. You ignore them and give chase to the horde. If you linger any longer your envy would become apparent. Each and every one of those lucky bitches got the full, proper goblin experience. An iron collar around their necks, their clothes turned to rags if they even had anything to wear. Some of them are even heavy with child, their wombs tainted by parasitic goblin seed...

It's not fair! You don't say it out loud, but you want to have an experience like that! You wanna get bullied and stepped on by someone stronger than you. It's not faaaaaaaaaaair!

Hoping against all hope that one of them will at least pick up his spear and try to give you a proper fucking swordfight, you keep up the chase.
>>
>>6120493

It becomes a cycle. The goblins flee from your sword to the nearest nest while you pray that they will eventually realize that they have an overwhelming advantage in numbers. The goblins of that nest proceed to shit themselves the moment you come barreling towards them, breaking in flight for the next village. The lucky bitches who got themselves a good and proper gobbing bow and scrape and even try to kiss your feet because they were all too damn weak to make a cunning escape once they got bored of goblins. The cycle then repeats itself over, and over, and over again.

Until, at last, a horde of all twenty thousand seven hundred and thirty two goblins in the Undercity flees into the deepest cistern, where fortifications of stone and iron rise from a calm pool of purified water. The goblins try to squeeze across the iron bridge leading to the castle gates in a panic, pushing their fellow short-kings off the side in their hurry to make it to safety. Those who fall into the water swim across, desperately clawing at the walls of the fortifications in attempts to climb.

At this point, you have become fed up. You march forward, stalking them at a deliberate and controlled pace like a tiger that hungers for blood. Your presence almost pushes them into a pile scrambling for the doors, no goblin daring to get within ten feet of you.

The barricade opens, revealing something finally man enough to fight you.

He must stand at eight feet tall, his green-skinned body rippling with powerful muscles. On his head he wears a crown of gold, and from his shoulders flows a blood red cloak trimmed with snow-white furs. Below it he wears nothing but a gold trimmed loincloth that does little to hide his mighty weapon, one that would surely defeat any woman who found herself pierced by it. In his right hand he carries a crude semblance of a sword, more a sharpened bar of wrought iron than a proper blade.

Your heart throbs with excitement at you think of what he might do to you if he just rallies this horde and overwhelms you with sheer numbers. Your body quives with excitement as your mind races with thoughts of sex and violence.

And so you mean to seal your fate to become his toy by speaking words no female warrior should ever say: "Come at me, Goblin King! I won't lose to some weird goblin like you!"

===

You don't lose to the goblin horde.

In the end, your lust for a hard fought battle overwhelms any desire in your heart to be stepped on and dominated by such lowly creatures. Your blood sings in your ears, your heart pounds in your chest, your thoughts all drown in the noise of battle once the Goblin King roars and restores the broken morale of his people. One dead, a dozen, a hundred, you fall into a joyful dreamlike trance as you dance between the blows of the horde with a skill that exceeds the brute force they can bring to bear against you.
>>
>>6120494
You smile like a maiden in love as you cut each goblin down. The dream of a hard fought battle has become a reality, and it is far, far better than sex could ever be. Every blow that cuts through your armor stings like a lover's caress, each time they run you through your gut, your heart, your shoulder, your neck with their crude spears brings you to the edge of ecstasy. Yes, you take countless lethal blows in the course of your joyful battle trance, for even with your sublime skill and attributes no level one has a right to... they out number you by more than twenty-thousand to one.

But you are [Eternal]. Even at such a lowly level, death cannot take you.

Your blood mixes with that of the goblins in the crystal waters beneath the Goblin King's fortress in an act of intimacy that those lucky bitches who got taken as sex slaves to these lowly creatures will never know. It is an experience that you alone have earned, the joys and pains of a brutal slaughter that has rent your armor and left you clad in naught but a cloak of blood and gore. For over the course of a twelve hour siege, you have slain every goblin in the Marmorton Undercity, save the ones growing in the bellies of their slaves.

"Haaaaaaaaah," you let out a languid, lustful moan as you stare down at the corpse of the Goblin King with bedroom eyes. "You couldn't satisfy me fully, but... I had fun. Be proud, Goblin King. You were strong."

With those words, you collapse. Who finds you? (Roll 1d100)
>A more dangerous monster than mere goblins
>A group of adventurers who mistake you for a slave girl
>The guards as they look for the wandering noblewoman
>No one, you wake up on your own
>(Write in)

I spent way too much time putting together the meme image LMAO
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>6120495
Well, I'm satisfied. That was fun, funny even.

>A more dangerous monster than mere goblins

Pleasure next?

I chuckled.
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>6120495
>A more dangerous monster than mere goblins
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>6120495
>A more dangerous monster than mere goblins
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>6120495
>Local version of Goblin Slayer finds you. He is madly in love... with your ability to exterminate goblins

btw, how many levels does exterminating 20k goblins net us? Or how does leveling work in this setting?
>>
>>6120495
>The guards as they look for the wandering noblewoman
But I can also back >>6120581
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>6120495
>>6120609
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>6120495
>>6120581
Supporting

If Konosuba taught me anything you can ALWAYS dump all your points into endurance....
>>
>>6120665
picrel
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>6120581
>+1
supporting
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>6120495
>The guards as they look for the wandering noblewoman

>>6120665
The proportion of 1s in this quest is absurd
>>
>>6120581
>+1
Supporting
>>6120717
Yeah, but they don't feel too bad. Our first Nat 1 had gentlemen approach us when we wanted to be harassed by ruffians. The second one had our bloodletting get too eager, and the goblins too cowardly (bet we forgot to turn off some fear inducing skill or something) to give us what we wanted.

Which is probably good, because this is a blue board. The dice gods protect us from OP getting too lewd and redoing what got A Lust For Adventure killed.
>>
>>6120495
>Oh look at the slave girl all by herself!
>That… is surrounded by what looks like every goblin in the Undercity.
>And still has a couple dozen shattered spears, swords, and arrows in her.
>And has a neck with the consistency of a slime monster.
>And is mumbling in her sleep instead of being, y’know, a corpse like anyone else would be right now.


>A group of adventurers who mistake you for some high-level monster in disguise. Not that they’re wrong from certain perspectives.
It’s the most logical conclusion, I feel.
>>
Your wounds heal quickly and leave behind no scars. The nature of [Eternity] is not that of an unchanging idol, but rather a system that swiftly returns to homeostasis no matter how severe the disruption. Your blood does not crawl back into your body, nor have you suddenly reproduced by mitosis for having so much of yourself suspended in the water. With your magic at a mere 100, it takes your body near an hour to restore itself fully, though in theory you could have picked yourself back up after mere moments.

In theory.

In practice, your stamina takes much longer to restore than your wounds. With the adrenaline and arousal that kept you fighting swiftly fleeing your system, exhaustion hits you harder than any of the goblins managed to do. Your eyes drift closed into the abyss of sleep so that your body can recover all of the energy that it spent.

>Calculating Experience Gains
>Current Experience: 4,493,830
>Experience to Next Level: 3000
>You are eligible to Level Up!
>Level Up Now?
No.
>Current experience is 4,493,830/3000
>You may level up when ready

Experience is derived from the challenge rating calculated by the mechanisms behind the enforcement of Astral Law. Nothing within the Astral Law says that one must level up when they reach the threshold, and if a force of over twenty thousand goblins could not give you the defeat you so very much desire, leveling up now would make that dream even more difficult to reach.

So you postpone the spoils of your victory, and allow yourself to sleep off your weariness rather than benefit from the sudden boost of life and energy that a level up would grant you. You dream of all the torture and degradation those goblins would have inflicted upon you had they been successful in pinning you down with their nigh-insurmountable numbers. The smile you wear in your sleep is absolutely serene.

When you wake up, a blade is pressed against your throat by a man who must be after your own heart.

He glares down at you as if looking at a particularly unpleasant worm. There is no admiration in his eyes for your jade like beauty, nor the smooth curves of your naked body, nor even the flawless perfection of your milk-white skin. It is as though his eyes have pierced through to your true nature, a perverted pig-sow who gained too much power as she pursued her wretched hobbies, her desire to taste the seed of every monster and be degraded by rough beasts. Your heart flutters as his mouth opens, for surely he's about to call you a pig-so-

"What are you?" he growls, pressing the blade tight enough against your throat that your nethers cannot help but get a little excited. "[True Status] calls you Level 1, but there's no way that can be right. A Level 1 doesn't walk into the Marmorton Undercity and survive to see another day... let alone create a pile of goblin corpses that large. Those animals would have just had another breeding slave in their pens."

You look to the side and mutter, "If onl-"
>>
>>6120985
Without a care in the world for your comfort or safety, he chokeslams you into the ground, smashing your head against the cold stone of the cistern. Heavens above, he sure knows how to treat you. If you hadn't been excited before, you certainly are now. If you remembered the spell, you'd flash pink hearts across your eyes to let him know that he's absolutely free to do whatever he wants. Not that you'd stop him if he did so anyways...

Alas, it seems he only wants answers, as his incredibly sexy rasping voice growls again when his blade knicks you, "You'll only speak to answer my questions, monster. Now tell me: what are you?"
>Be honest with him, at least about being a level 1 with absurd attributes.
>Go along with his assumptions and pretend to be a monster. Maybe he'll torment you more~!
>Tell him the whole and unvarnished truth in a tone that makes him think it's a blatant lie.
>"Horny." Wrap your legs around his waist and don't let him go until he plants his seed in you.
>(Write in)
>>
>>6120986
>(Write in)
Play dumb. Seldom answer his questions, and make sure it’s vague when we do. Make sure he knows that we’re only pretending to be innocent and unaware.
>>
>>6120997
>+1
>>
>>6120986
>”A woman who got bored long, long ago. I got so fucking close to fixing that for the first time in a long time.”
>”So. Fucking. Close.”
>”Say, could you help me with the last bit? I promise not to be too rough on you if you promise not to return that favor. I got one good fight in today, but I hate men that are more bark than bite.”
I don’t know if we’ll get all the way through this spiel before he hits us again, but the MC wouldn’t mind that anyway.

I’m also not really refuting that we’re a monster, but he can take that as he will.

tl;dr The mask is slipping due to desperate horniness, but it’ll be all foreplay and no real action if we force ourselves on him. Men can be funny like that when we’re involved.
>>
>>6120986
>(Write in)
>Tight lipped. Maybe he will employ more extreme methods of punishment if you don't go along with his investigation
>>
>>6121026
>>6120997
+1 to this approach.
>>
>>6120986
>Just laugh, and keep laughing.
>>
>>6120986
+1 to >>6120997 and >>6121026

Oh god, I can already see the classic unwanted love interest dynamic developing.

WW really is fitting for the images too.
>>
>>6121144
Righteous knight and masochist lady doing bad shit solely to get piledrived by him does sound amusing.
>>
>Beat the game at level 1
>System bans us for cheating
>>
>>6120986
>>6121023
+1
>>
I'm exhausted tonight, won't be able to post tonight.
>>
>>6121856
Understandable, enjoy your rest.
>>
>>6121856
Thanks for keeping us updated!
>>
>>6121856
ok
>>
I'm alive FYI, just busy >_<
>>
>>6123377
Duly noted.
>>
>>6123377
okie dokie
>>
>>6123377
>>6123739
artichokie
>>
QM?
>>
>>6123377
hope you're still there
>>
>>6123377
Quest kill?
>>
If the QM won't continue can someone else take over?
>>
>>6127045
I hope so
>>
We never even got to review a monster.
>>
>>6129828
Can i be honest? I like the idea of a girl who's too powerful acting like a bitch to a hero she could extremely easily beat solely because she likes getting ryona'd far more than
>and then she fucked some ugly bastard monster, here's how it was
Granted, that wasn't actually the initial theme and pretty much only appeared in the final update, but still...
>>
>>6127045
pretty pls, do it
>>
>>6123377
Still waiting faithfully. Don't give up because of a little schedule slip.
>>
>>6133865
A twenty-one day schedule slip without explanation?
>>
passing by to pay respects
>>
>>6138875
a shame indeed
>>
https://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?tags=The%20Monster%20Reviewer

Since OP won't be returning, I've archived it in case he returns. I liked the concept and it'd be a shame if this were lost to time.



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