*Exactly* that actually, I think I even used the same wording. Nat 20 made for lols all around and one exasperated DM.

Actually, funny thing about that
>D&D 3.5
>Playing human binder
>Hosting Paimon and Aym, both bad pacts
>Group surrounded
>Entered 'Paimon's a dick' mode
>Decide to throw them off guard by dancing away, but decided to throw some fire in as an effect
>End up setting floor on fire, seperating us from them
>We escape and Dm says "Everybody gets one"

>>12611924
>>12611927

/tg/ - Unexpectedly Sexy

The party is in a scifi setting, relatively nearby future.

They are in their ship, investigating the ruins of the first arcology ship created, hoping to find a way to return it across the gulf of space.

They are boarded by the BBEG android. He is out in space, attempting to grappel onto their ship.

They critically succeed a hard barrel roll, back off from him, and follow his poor drifiting form into space.

They shoot him with an anti-vehicle missile, point blank, with another critical success roll.

His surviving head it thrust into the engine exhaust, and turned into glittering dust.

In the inn before Tomb of Horrors.

One character flirts with another. Invites him back up to her room to get it on.

DM says to roll Perform: Sex, just a straight D20+Cha. We do. Sorceress gets a 24 total. Assassin, who has 11 Cha, rolls a natural 20 followed by a natural 20 followed by an 18.

DM had missed the part about moving back up to the room.

"Er, wait--you're just going to fuck in the common room?"
"... yes."

The DM rolled and had to conclude that everyone that had witnessed the act was now helpful.

"Hey, don't activate that spell that will destroy the world!"

"HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Don't you do it!"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"DON'T DO IT MAN!"

"HAHAHAHahahahahaaa.... okay"

BBEG was simply a very sick man.

>>12611904
At one point our group had to go down through consecutive levels of hell for a quest. At every level, we had to explain our goddamn quest to whoever intercepted us or fight our way out. On the 8th level, we were captured and brought before Mephistopheles... and told to explain our quest and make it good.

Our cleric SNAPPED, IRL and in game. He throws down his books and surges to his feet and points at Mephistopheles/the DM and roars his challenge. In game, the cleric hurl his mace and shield to the floor and declares:

"Fuck it! Puppet show!"

He conjures puppets with a minor creation spell and starts acting out our quest to date. The rest of the party joins in and duly enough, a stage with lights and sound effects are handled by the druid and wizard. And we put on a goddamn puppet show in the court of Mephistopheles. It had drama, it had questionable acting, it had a colourful cast of characters and a large dose of slapstick.

By the end of it he was laughing so goddamn hard he feasted us and gave us a luxury barge for the river Styx.

Caster edition for the win.

>>12612009
>"Fuck it! Puppet show!"

I am SO stealing that line!

>>12612009
Oh wow, that's amazing.

So we're walking through town, and we have to rob a noble for some reason. I forget why, but apparently the noble was an undead of some sort so we didn't really care if we stole from him. While waiting for the two party members who infiltrated the noble's manor, the barbarian got impatient and decided it'd be a good idea to smash a statue in a fountain in the noble district. When the town guards came, my kobold sorceror self simply explained that we were the wrecking crew, we're supposed to comission the mason to make a replacement, but the nobleman who had this statue made in his honor in the first place wanted the old one removed. Now that the job was done, we could take a quick break before contacting the mason.

The party outside the manor convinced the whole town guard to join them for drinks in a tavern, even flirt it up a bit with the guards while I made my way to the mason. While I couldn't convince him, I still told the town guards that he would, getting the entire party off the hook.

Murphy's law of Shadowrun #17: There is no such thing as a perfect plan.

Our team was tasked with retrieving a storage device from a Microtech computer store. Our face and others start making a big, complicated, plan. Our rigger/driver suggests "Why don't we just have Bigfoot (the troll / my character) over there break in, take the device and walk out?"

We decide to go in the middle of the night. My character picks up a cinderblock and throws it in an attempt to break the window and execute the plan.

Failure #1
The cinderblock bounces off the window. My character prepares to go find another when all of the security guards storm out and point SMG's at him.

This forces us to improvise. Our sniper takes two pot-shots at one of them before the driver/rigger drives her tricked out ambulance into the group, killing three.

My character then turns the other two into a fine red mist with his claymore. After the security cameras are disabled, he walks into the door that the security guards had left open, breaks down a locked door, steals the device and walks out.

As we go to meet our Johnson, our hacker finds that there is only one file on the device. When she opened it, our GM rickrolled us.

That's right, we just killed five people to get our hands on the last remaining copy of "Never gonna give you up"

>>12612200
At least it wasn't goatse.

>>12612200
that's great.

In a game of Traveller, my engineer sabotaged our engines and reactor so the pirates shooting us would stop shooting and come in closer. Then our ex-pirate (I think that's what he was) went into our cargo hold alone to deal with the boarders with his shotgun. He took a grenade to the face and lived, the pirates ran away.

>>12612200


Stealing that as an intro game to Shadowrun.

One of the players in our group has a dancer character with Mambo Points instead of Mana Points.

As such he can dance over opponents, mesmerise or seduce them.

>DMing a 3.5 game
>PCs have to assassinate some noble.
>Spot 2 guards outside nobles house.
>Absolute retard cleric walks up to the guards
>"Go up to your master and tell him The knife rests well in his back. If he tells you he doesn't know what you're talking about, that means you have to bring me to him. I'm trusting you with this, don't fail me.
>Didn't even roll that shit, let them in.

>>12612416

>One of the players in our group has a dancer character with Mambo Points instead of Mana Points.

I lol'd so hard. More details?

In an Ogre compound, D&D 3.0, party is a Human Monk, an Elf Barbarian, and a Half-Orc Sorcerer. Monk comes up with the plan, Sorcerer and Barbarian stand at each side of the door, while the Monk knocks on it, and says "Burlap Salesman!" Ogre, confused opens up door and sticks his head out, and is greeted by the Barbarian's Greataxe, and the Sorcerer's sword to the neck. We proceeded to clear out the entire compound in such a manner

>>12612009

To be fair, he likely hasnt seen anything that funny in a couple of centuries.

I was DMing a session when my group (ninja and warrior) had to enter in a country manor and steal a particular shield.
They had no idea of where it was, but I thought it should have been obvious that a big shield should be just on the wall near the noble's bed. (since it was his old shield and shit.)

Now: this was just a part of the session to let the ninja have some fun. Climbs up on the roof after entering in the garden, down to the balcony, open the door locker, enter, out in a couple of minutes.
Especially since all the people were in the hall since there was a party.

A piece of cake, right? WRONG.
The ninja fucks up with his rolls and get discovered by dogs. Somehow manages to hide, and then climb up to the roof.
He plans to come down the chimney. On night. On a winter night.
While I facepalm and desperately try to make him notice that there's a balcony, the warrior has the brilliant idea of going into the manor, uninvited and dressed as a wanderer.

Long story short: it should have been a quick 8 minutes in the session, it turned out to be nearly two hours of fail: the ninja managed to fail the rolls for the door and had to go somewhere else, the warrior was beaten by the guards and run away (not before shouting for help since he needed a diversion) and the session ended with the ninja jumping through the window, while hurting himself, with the shield under his arm.

They succeeded, at least.

>>12612702
HA HA HA HA

I bet the warrior was a pirate.

>>12612416
Is his name Cuban Pete?

>>12612784
"In Havaaanaaaaa! In Havaaanaaaa!"

So my friends and I play DnD in a setting that we've been role playing in for like, eight goddamn years. As it stands, the setting is on the cusp of transforming from "complete medieval fantasy" to "sort of like that one Final Fantasy game with the dark knight dude. You know, airships and some technology crap but only one place has it?" Our latest DnD endeavor is a campaign that took place in a war between Suspicious But Good-hearted Imperial State With An Inquisition versus Oppressive Magic/Tech Empire. To suitably represent this, our characters started with absolutely no magic items and so far have collected only a handful of items that are only vaguely useful to us. Our characters are undergeared and overwhelmed, and will probably remain so until the end of the campaign. It's very difficult and we've had to work together really well to make it to where we are.

cont'd...

>>12613013
I play a character that is an overly macho knight, and his ideas are based entirely on "cool factor" and what will get him the most glory. So far, this has included charging down a necromancer nearly surrounded by eight zombies or so and beating him to death with a crit from his flail on a surprise round of combat, jumping onto the back of a dragon and beating on it with a flail as an opportunity action every time it moved, and most impressively, our party is single-handedly responsible for taking out a wing of the enemy empire's airship fleet.

When we happened upon a friendly camp, which was getting bombed periodically by the enemy fleet, I saw some ballistas in the camp. I had a brilliant idea on how to take on airships! After introducing ourselves to the knight in charge (As Sir Roland and 'the other guys'), we requisitioned all of the rope in camp. After arguing about whether to just march south or try to kill the enemy general, we eventually decided on my idea: we tie all of the rope to a ballista bolt and fire it an airship, effectively creating the world's largest grappling gun, steal the airship, and bomb the general. We lured in the enemy airships with one of the other ballistas, and then fired when it was in range of our grappling

Our ranger rolled a 19 on the attack roll. The DM let it happen.

>>12613028
We all grabbed hold of the rope, and climbed until we made it on board of the airship. What did we find? A gigantic, albeit deactivated, construct (Watered down Warforged Titan) and a really surprised and pissed off crew. Apart from the gentleman manning the helm, we threw every enemy overboard. Yes, even the Titan. The ranger and I bantered for a bit, and we decided that he should grab some chains that I assume were for docking the airship. I (I think it was me? I know we worked together) wrapped it around the titan together before its turn began, and the ranger rolled a 20 on his strength check on grabbing the chains and using them to drag and throw the titan overboard. We let the chain loose and it crashed into the ground. About this time, our rogue got a crit on the airship captain and punched him so hard his eye popped out of his socket. It was supposed to be nonlethal, but man if it wasn't funny.

>>12613037
None of our characters have Arcana, so we fucked up royally when we walked by a communication device. We're chatty motherfuckers, so they picked up the gist of what was happening. At this point, my character finds a dragon egg (The enemy super-material is made from dragon's blood and other misc. stuff mixed with certain ore I think), and decides to take it with him. As this happens, two airships begin to approach the one we've already taken over completely. We break open a window and dive onto the deck of one of the other airship as we crash ours into the second. Roland maintains his dragon's egg in the process with another high roll.

After throwing the crew overboard to their deaths, we dive onto another incoming airship. This one's massive and splinters our new acquisition like it was made of rotting wood. It's their ship of the line, I guess. It had not one, but two of the colossal constructs on it. And they were activated by the magical command or whatever. So what do we decide to do?

>>12613048
"Everyone get below deck," says I. "They're too big. They can't follow you there."

Instead of following my own very rational advice, I charge for the helm of the airship and beats the captain to death, heedless of the constructs. I take the wheel. Without thinking, I decide to flip the airship in mid-air.

With a collective cry of "THEY FLIPPED THE BITCH," our enemies are undone.

>>12613057
My party rolls balance checks and doesn't take falling damage. The enemies aren't so lucky. One of the titans falls, and every enemy below deck takes falling damage from failing to maintain their balance. The second titan attempts to attack, but is too stupid to realize its axe hand embedded in the ship is all that keeps it from falling. It rips its arm from the ship, swings, misses, and falls to its death.

So far, Roland has maintained his dragon egg in one arm while controlling the ship with his other. He makes two awful rolls in succession, and breaks the wheel from the steering column and drops his egg to the forest below. The airship plummets, out of control. We maintain balance, and jump in seperate directions into the forest as the enemies either die from falling damage or the ensuing crash.

The DM rolled a saving throw to see if the egg splattered at my begging.

The next session, Roland found a green dragon whelpling.

>playing dark heresy, arbitrator
>exploring a cult facility in an abandoned manufactorum while there's a huge meeting going on, so the hallways are mostly empty
>stumble upon the only fucking guards in the place
>everyone draws guns
>Before initiative is rolled I make an unskilled check to trick the guards
>Pass it
>scream at them in cockney for not being at the meeting
>THey scream at us for not being at the meeting
>Point at our techpriest and say "THIS DAFT BUGGUH IS ROIGHT SCREWY IN THE 'EAD, 'N (cultleader) SAYS WE GOTTA FOLLOW 'IM AROUND WHILE HE DOES 'IS BLEEDIN' ROUNDS SO HE DOESN'T FUCK UP ANY UV THE MACHINES!"
>Techpriest goes crosseyed and makes a derpface and starts mumbling
>Guards buy it
>Guards let a guardsman, arbitrator, techpriest, assassin and scum walk right by them
>My parties's face when I say, out of earshot "Good thing you have me around to try a diplomatic solution" after my character had spent the entire campaign screaming EMPRAH and punching heretics.

>Phase one
Get on roof.

>Phase two
Enter silent berserk frenzy with swords sheathed, hands free.

>Phase three
Jump off roof

>Phase four
Flying chokeslam giant croco-saur

>Phase five
Double righteous fury, dealing 23 damage and nearly smashing its windpipe with my bicep

>Phase six
Profit

I love Dark Heresy. And that was rank 4, btw.

...So, our party found out this guy we were tracking was actually a master of disguise. And we needed information from him.

Here's what we did.
1. Break into his house in the middle of the night.
2. Command-spell him into drinking a knockout drug.
3. While he was asleep, we disguise ourselves in his various clothes for different identities.
4. When he started stirring, my wizard cast a Reduce Person spell on him.
5. Interrogate him while we're disguised as "him."
6. Replace all of his stuff exactly how we found it.
7. Result: interrogation disguised as HORRIBLE TRIPPY NIGHTMARE

>>12613108

You are magnificent bastards.

In WHFRP none of us were able to fight much at the start. On three players all we had for weapons were the ones you start with, except that I traded mine away for a flute (I was a troubadour or some shite).
So the GM gave us a hefty advance for killing some orks. I managed to convince the others to spend all the advance on getting cool instruments so that we could play for some noble.
The plan was to get him to take it on as his personal mission to rid the county of orks, starting with those hiding out in hill so-and-so.
After some sweet rolls where even those with no skills managed to get by on rolls of 01 and 02 on the music, and my guy managed to be a sweettalking bastard we actually got to tag along as a group of soldiers were rerouted to fight a relatively small and incompetent rabble of greenskins. Was awsome. I think one of the other players even managed to kill an ork with a sling :D

>>12613077
>Operation Code Name: Steve Irwin
Where's the death by Tau stingray?

>>12613072

One time I seduced my Inquisitor in a DH game
Of course that really didn't make me or the party any safer

>>12613077
>see's picture
>first thing that comes to my mind?
>dipers

Not exactly "Master plan!!" here, but my Rigger in a Shadowrun game had a wireless Vehicle Control Rig cybernetically implanted in an arm (whole arm was metal), with a high powered transmitter.

Big Bad has just kicked the crap out of both of our street Samurai and our Adept too. Its looking pretty bad, but the guy is Japanese with this whole Yakuza/honor thing going on.

My character holds up a hand before he'd have come to kill me and says "We shall end this with a duel, we shall do it honorably." And I threw down my sidearm.

We're in a field, mind you.

Some in-character bartering later, he agrees that we shall duel with blades, and offers me a sword from one of his lackies. I swing it around inexpertly, playing the buffoon. He starts making fun of me.

I say "Are you ready, sir?"

He affirms that he is an enters a high blade stance, ready to kill me.

That's when I landed the helicopter on him.

Upside down.

So the blades sliced him into chunky salsa.

Then I tossed the sword back to his stunned lacky and walked away.

In a game I ran we had a halfling rogue and sorceress. The rogue decided he wanted to help the sorceress learn a new spell, feather fall. Since they are in a temple they just helped take back from the baddies they have a good deal of freedom.
Thus the rogue decided the best way to do it would be to sew his collection of feathers to a bed sheet like a parachute. He figured the best one to get would be from the high priest. He manages this and gets the feathers on it.
Since he and the sorceress decide not to try it on themselves, but to test it on one of the guards. They successfully attach it to a guard and try to push him off the second story wall. Both fail so badly they miss him entirely and fall off the wall themselves. The spell is never attempted again.

>>12613063
Go on anon.
This amuses me,

>>12613194
bravo sir. 10/10.

>>12613145

My GM actually said that we see a Stingray coming over the horizon or some such shit, right after i declared Operation Code Name: Steve Irwin to be a success.

Not serious, but god damn it. Lol.

>>12613194
HO
LEE
SHIT

You are the reason I want to play this game.

>>12613108

We were under attack of Fire Vampires, three of them, and we were really not prepaired for it.
I mean, we had a chemist who could build some sweet explosives, but it's not what one normally uses against the fuckers, them living of heat and all that shite.

But the chemist dude did his normal thing, building a huge gazoline firebomb from parts we had prepaired earlier in case of huge shit.
I mean, we had already blown the mission, and we knew it. All we had left was to face the music, die and then reroll new characters. And we knew it. All of us except mr. chemist.
So he rigs his fire bomb, while the Vampires watched (held at bay temporarily by some voodoo charms), and grinning they charged right over the bombs, and the chemist dude sets the bomb off.
The ST tells him that the bomb doesn't do any damage at all, seeing as how its fire and 'normal' damage. The chemist dude smiles and says that the fire wasn't going to do much harm in that way, but then asked the ST "how much oxygen is left in that area where the vamps are standing."
The ST smiled. He's the most standup guy we could have had to run the thing. And then he takes a two minute pause with his computer ( which allowed us some suspense and hope) before coming back and tell us that the baddies evaporate into thin air as their flames are extinguished.
I loved mr chemist man at that moment.
Later he would again save the day with five tonnes of guano, and a perfect shot with his rifle (without skill), but that was less planning and more balls.

>>12613194
How did this guy not hear a helicopter about to crash on him? Those fucking things are loud as hell. Mad props otherwise.

>>12613194

I flying choke-slammed and flawlessly grappled a saurian carnosaur. And yet it feels like ordinary bullshit compared to the unbelievable magnificent bastardry in that story.

You have shamed me, sir.

This was last night actually, and not really a "plan" since >warhammer, >plans, but here is what happened and where this new trip comes from.
Friend wants a test 500 point game to try out his Eldar seer counsel(in a 500 point game? whatever you say buddy)
I brought a crisis commander with point sink city, a fireknife, 12 fire warriors, devilfish, 10 kroot, 2 hounds.
The gun drones from the devilfish end up assaulting the seer counsel to prevent him from assaulting my commander, who has major anti infantry for his 2 guardian squads. First drone gets raped, but then comes the story of Stabby the Drone. Stabby locked the seer counsel in close combat for 3 turns and dealt 2 wounds over the course of those 3 turns. By the time his seer counsel could do ANYTHING they had 2 crisis suits(1 with a flamer and cyclic ion blaster and 2 shield drones, 1 fireknife), a devilfish, 3 firewarriors. I had the Firewarriors behind a miniscreen of the shield drones so the only way he was getting another kill point was either great rolls on the fire warriors or the fire knife also with decent rolls. 3 wounds T3 4+cover or 2 wounds T4 3+ armor? He went for the firewarriors, tried to assault but couldn't because shield drone screen. then they got lit the fuck up.
So begins the story of Drone Hero of Fi'rios: Unforeseen Victory. Or Stabby the Drone for short.

>>12613318
Today we have helicopters that sound like bees in the air. Surprisingly, you are more likely to see its shadow or feel the wind than hear it.

>>12613353
What helicopters might those bee?

>>12613318

It was an unarmed transport chopper that was hovering on station, supposedly waiting for us to clear the landing zone. Helicopters are FAST, when one flips at low altitude, you don't have time to do jack crap other then die. Windows were tinted; BBEG had no idea it was being remote controlled by my Rigger.

Happily, the helicopter was provided by the Johnson, so I didn't have to pay to replace it. Had to walk home though.

Now this is a medfan game where a metamorph can alter his own features slightly, to a maximum of creating weapons on his limbs from his flesh.

Metamorph bard gets chased in the forest by a guard. He's pretty much toast, seeing how he's a gigantic faggot who can't fight. He can't really hope to ninjamorph into something else because he's dressed as a bard, and the flashy stuff too.

The player then looks me in the eye after having tried every single trick in his book and tells me he wants to get naked and morph into a bush.

I didn't have the heart to tell him no, the idea seemed too great to decline.

I am a Rule of Cool DM, sue me.

Playing in a WHFRP game. I'm the bone-picker/fence and there's a messenger/bodyguard, two dwarf combat-types, and a pitfighter. We get put in prison who conspiring with cultists and are treated poorly by the guards. One guard defecates on a clay plate and serves it to us as our last meal before being burning in the morning. Dwarf dumps off the crap and begins to grind the plate on the stone floor. Morning comes, guards arrive to drag us off, and messenger shanks the first one with shitplate-turned-shiv. Righteous Fury with another ten on top and does 29 points of damage. The rest of us run around flailing as the messenger shivs the guards.

Later, same group is in a sewer trying to sneak up under a corrupted temple. One of the dwarves is KO from a previous fight so we're dragging his body around. Several guards above the sewer grate we need to exit from and none of us are doing too good for a fight. Toss unconscious dwarf's body into view beneath the grate and throw my voice screaming "Ghouls! Help!". Pitfighter with nearly-crippled and bloodied arms reaches out from the shadows and grabs the "poor" dwarf and drags him back into the darkness. Guards split.

>>12613380
Ah, that explains things.

We needed to sneak into a rich nobleman's manor in order to gain evidence that he was an evil motherfucker trying to kill the whole town that relied on his money to support its economy.

Our party, a halfling fighter, halfling dread necromancer, and half-elf bard had no idea what the hell we were going to do, as the place was heavily guarded. So, walking up, brazen as can be, when confronted with guards, we improvised.

The bard declares we're health inspectors, there to investigate claims of unsafe working conditions. We'd need to inspect the mansion's main floor, unobserved, as our findings were not to be revealed until we made our official report. He rolls godly, and the DM is cracking up with this ridiculous claim, eagerly backed up by the two halflings. With an additional corroborating diplomacy check from my fighter, the guards reluctantly let us in, and which point we ransack the place for clues, kill a bunch of were-rat mooks, find the noble in the middle of an evil ritual, and kill the fuck out of him.

>>12613108

>>12613405
WFRP makes for some great stories.

In a game way back we played, something like this happened.

Our party was to invade this smaller stronghold in a village, where the local lord had his residence. The rogue wanted to distract people, so the rest could get in via a rope.

She got found out right away by the guards even before entering, who had been expecting a dancing girl to come along, so when they asked if she was the girl, she said yes.

So they brought her to the guards room where she had to dance for them. Until some guys started touching her, upon when she tried to outcharm people somehow. In the end the DM implied that she got fucked by half of the guards there, while the rest of us got the job done.

Not really rape, mind you, since she didn't know what to do, she just went along with it.

>>12613162
Okay that needs further explanation

>>12613511
No expects a surprise gangbang!

In star wars we had managed to get onto an imperial Star Destroyer, but we had been detected and were running scared. A booming voice from the speakers were telling everyone to hunt us down and kill us, and roughly where we were.
We managed to get into an office and quietly subdue the owner.
A quick epic hack later and we were able to get into the comm system.
We were discussing what to do.
Apparantly we were taking to long discussing shite, because the resident ewok grabbed the mike and said "this is Darth Vader speaking. I have taken care of your infestation. Captain, prepare for doom."
Grinning he rolled for Con and got into the low 70's, which by d6 SWG standards is pretty insane.
The ST looked positively grim as he started to describe the chaos that ensued :D

rolled 27527 = 27527

>>12613405

Fantastic. I wish my group is as creative as that.

>>12613108

>>12613525
There's really not much to it. My character was a man-slut and my inquisitor was female so I went for it
Afterwords I used trade (copyist) to write books of my various romantic endeavors which most assuredly became banned reading material, but really that's all there is to the story

Our Hunter: The Reckoning party once needed to get into a building guarded by a single security guard. As opposed to, you know, distracting him while the others sneak in, or bribing him, or smooth-talking him (our party was either anti-social, too weird to work, or too new to roleplaying to be effective), we instead concocted a plan in which one of us dressed up in a donut costume and the others rolled them past the open front door.

Needless to say, the ST cut game early that day.

>>12613700
I'm laughing here

>>12613700
That is awesome.

My own group, in trying to smuggle a batch of freshly-stolen weapons from an arms manufacturing company struck up this idea, which I was too impressed with to slam the ST "No Fun" rock on.
>What if we dress the rifles up to look like an old man in a wheelchair and just roll them through the front door? Who is gonna check an old man's diaper?

Pic related.

>>12613750

What's next, a bomb disguised as a baby in a pram?

Our party is searching for some ogre for some reason near a town.. We find a cave like 60 feet up in the side of a cliff. After climbing up and cautiously walking deeper into it we see the big bad-ass ogre crouching in the back in the shadows. He charges and begins the epic battle. After our whole party has been beaten nearly to death, I, as a telepath psion, once again try to mind control him, and finally succeed. The ogre sprints towards the cave exit and hurls himself over the edge. We rejoice. Next round, the ogre gets up and starts climbing back up to us. Frantically, we trow everything we have at him. Hammers, rocks, the fighter's sword etc..
He's still climbing so the barbarian readies himself to chop the things hands off ass soon as he gets up to us. When he gets there the barbarian lets loose, hacking the shit out of the things hands. It falls down once again as we breathe a sigh of relief. It once again gets back up and is coming back up for us. The barbarian throws his great-axe at the ogre in mid-climb, critting, and finishing off the orge. We all shit our pants.

>>12613856
THIS IS HOW YOU BARBARIAN!

>sneak behind a barbarian to get the jump on our enemies
>barbarian calls me a coward
>become human missile
>crit
>kill 20 goblins

>>12611904
Played a guy that had gained immunity to fire by using a wish. He was turned into a type of devil or something. I eventually challenged a demon to a wrestling match in a shallow river of lava.


I won.

>>12613886
THIS IS ALSO HOW YOU BARBARIAN!

Playing DH, first session of the campaign in which i choke-slammed the dinosaur.

We all meet for the first time, in an apartment rented out by our inquisitor. One of our first acts as a team is to admire the mural of a saint on the apartment wall. Then cut it out with my mono greatsword and the assassin's mono long-sabre. We sold it for 85 thrones to some artfag in the upper hive.

So I was playing a monk and we needed money.
I thought. "Hey I acrobatics right?" And so I began to breakdance for money our bard dropping a fat beat all the while. people didn't like it.
So my friend set up a tomato stand and sold tomatos at 50gold a pop.
Tomatos got thrown at me.
we made 500,000 gold our Dm said never again

Same game. we are all almost dead and then King of fightes logic kicks in "I haven't done any special moves and have lost over half my heath SO I USE MY DESPERATION MOVE." cue an explanation of said move. I began jumping off enemys heads slicing them as I go. Good rolls everywhere. I killed ten guys with that.

>Ship attacked by Hobgoblin pirates
>Pick up a barrel and through it
>Natural 20
>STR 20 (Half-Giant)
>Kill a pirate on an adjacent ship with a barrel

>>12613194

We're in a Mine with was tricksy Kobolds who, as you walk down the hall two grates slam shut and kobolds with spears come out and start trying to stab us.

Druid formulates plan to turn into Kitten and get one of us to throw him and transform into a dire bear mid-throw.

I have a feat that allows me to imbue spells to thrown objects...So I volunteer because I can cast Enlarge Person on the bear so it's a large bear that gets thrown...I tell DM I choose Fireball.

Dm have him roll Reflex and Passes.

My character throws a bear into a group of kobold behind a flimsy grate and they all explode.

Drove a car full of explosives into a werewolf lair in a church. In New York.

>>12613194